Sunday, December 25, 2011

Merry Everything!

Let the holiday whining commence (slash continue)!

While I hope everyone's festivities abide by the Universal Declaration of No Drama, I wanted to open up a thread for those whose loved ones maybe need a Cluestick Reminder and for those with anti-whines to celebrate (recognizing that those could be the very same Pixies in both categories. Life is like that).

What are the whines and anti-whines in your neck of the woods on this Christmas week / wintery week?

Friday, December 23, 2011

Universal Declaration of No Drama

We, the Pixies of the World, recognizing that people are gathering together in the Holiday Spirit and celebrating their festivities of choice, hereby declare the Holidays to be a Drama-Free Zone.

Should anything threaten to create drama, we shall take appropriate measures to restore peacefulness to our respective locations and selves, including but not limited to: pretending the untoward event did not happen; sticking fingers in our ears and singing LALALALA or a seasonally appropriate alternative; employing measures of distraction; letting others help with necessary tasks; chilling out; and trusting in our own resourcefulness no matter what.

See? Attitude is everything! This thread will remain open through the weekend, though, just in case of emergency whines and anti-whines.

Moving along to the awards, KLee wins the Community Spirit Tiara for organizing the very popular and successful cookie exchange! ~wild applause~ This was an inspired and inspiring idea, not to mention yummy.

Liz wins the Style Award for her seasonal haiku, which doubles as a recipe tip:

A Haiku to the Scent of Latkes that Remains on My Hands Despite Vigorous Washing.

Potatoes, onions
Two eggs, flour, salt, pepper
And oil. Lots of oil.

Esperanza earned the Old Skool Award for her classic whine: "When does school start again?"

The winner of the coveted Elevated Risk of Mullet Award is Days, whose children complain -- despite bulging pantry and fridge -- that "There's nothing to eat." We diagnose Extended Vacation Behavior Syndrome, a common and contagious seasonal affliction cured by return to school. (See, e.g., Old Skool Award.)

Runner-up for Mullet is Liz, who -- after various discussions of cookies and latkes -- advised: "In totally unrelated news, I can't button my pants. They must have shrunk in the wash."

Lovely Anti-Whine Award goes to Neighbor Lady, who reported: "I am hearing my kiddos singing Hanukkah songs in the other room right now." Awwwww... Bah humbug and banishment to the vertigo.

Sarah receives the Miracle of Lights Award, returning to a comforting tradition during a time that is pretty upside-down. You are NOT lazy! Hugs and best wishes as you work through this transition to a different life.

JenR wins the Almost Had A Night Off Award, as her 3 year old agreed to a sleepover at Grandma's! Which, as these things sometimes go, lasted only 2 hours. Sigh. But as we say in the parenting biz, Progress!

Amy wins the Stretched Too Thin Award, with many runners up. Breathe!

The Itchy and Scratchy Award goes to Sue, who conquered HIVES, yikes, possibly from the favorite seasonal coffee beverage. On top of this being such a busy week, and a pulled back (yay for massage), and more with the head pain. Oy! But it is fab fab fab that you get Sunday off!

The Good Housekeeping Tip of the Week Award goes to Esperanza, who assures us that rubbing oniony hands on smooth stainless steel (not steel wool!) is the cure. Liz, however, wins the Hostess With the Mostest Award for the silver lining: "I don't mind the smell, at all. Actually, I rather like it. But it's making me hungry." Her latkes are so good, they made us all hungry, even over the internets.

Happy Hanukkah, Merry Christmas, Happy Kwanzaa, Joyous Solstice, Festive Festivus, and may we all look forward to a New Year of many anti-whines.

See you next week, when the delightful Redzils will host!

Monday, December 19, 2011

All the kitties were snuggled together on the couch...

Yes, also the stockings are hung by the chimney with care, and etc. My cats are celebrating that quiet time before the influx of residents late tomorrow, and they are bonded together in the front room because That Dog might turn up again in the bedroom.

Junior Dog has apparently been stressed by the absence of her Master -- totally forgetting who exactly feeds her -- and she has orchestrated five (5) breakouts in 2 days. Your host, who is not the Dog Person or the Fence Person in this family, has collected the dog on all occasions, run several fence inspections, and employed a quantity of strategically-placed bungee cords and some spare fencing to correct the problem(s). Your host is also not above outright bribery of canines in the service of Not Losing The Beloved's Favorite Dog, which kinda ticks off the felines. Don't worry, the cats will find a way to thank me.

But in good news, my beloved and daughter will be home late tomorrow! Really, really late.

And another AW: I don't think I got poison oak during the fence repair adventure! Even though there is some up there.

Um, I have not quite gotten around to stashing things that should get out of the way before the big day with relatives. But on the up side, who cares? Oh, who am I kidding. This week will include several performances of me impersonating a house elf.

But the big AW is: this is going to be a nice holiday! No drama.

What's happening at your place?

Saturday, December 17, 2011

Late Late Late

Apologies for the seasonal procrastination disorder leading to these late awards!

Liz wins the Seven Dwarves Award, complaining that she was currently "Sleepy (sitting in training), Dopey (forgot where I parked my car, see training), Sneezy (allergies), Happy (kitchen success), Grumpy (get your stuff off my place at the table! You promised you'd stop doing that), Bashful (sorry I yelled at you, Hon), and Doc (I apply a terrific band-aid)." Cranky joined the crew later.

You Go Girl Award to Sarah, who is maintaining some cheeriness despite the divorce, which is kinda disconcerting to the soon-to-be-ex.

Art Mom Award to Days, who had some fun crafty time with the little one while the other kids were off doing their things. Jealous!

The Jinx Award goes to Esperanza, whose mention of accident-free days led to -- you guessed it.

Sue wins the Best Antiwhine Award, for her report of a parishioner recovering well from a stroke; the twinkle in the eye has returned!

Esperanza wins the Holiday Miracle Award, as they got several cute photos in only one hour of posing! And the sitting fee waived!

The Good Housekeeping Award goes to Liz, for her fabulous suggestion about preparing for holiday guests: "Stock up on good food and beverages and then set up candles and Christmas lights. Turn off the overheads. Boom. Instant clean house."

The Avoiding Family Angst Award belongs to Sue, who anti-whined of missing a party at the home of the most annoying individual in the family tree. Unfortunately, we do not recommend the reason -- migraine + more with the post-concussion. Wishing a good recovery on both, Sue.

Sarah wins the Weather Anti-Whine Award: No snow yet! In Wisconsin! White Christmas is pretty, but there is only so much winter a person needs each year.

The Chatterbox Award goes to Esperanza's Mini, who is celebrating her mastery of teh spoken word by practicing about 39 hours per day!

Thanks for playing!

Monday, December 12, 2011

Rockin' the Season

Just a sampling of home-made ornaments from years past...

AW: We got the tree! A great deal of cleaning and decorating has happened in the public sectors of the household. Ho ho ho!

AW: If you are not following Liz's blog, run on over for some seasonal musical festivity of all stripes! Liz is stylin', big time. It is impossible to sample her selections without finding joy and smiles -- impossible, I tell you!

W: The adventures of SIL continue. Sigh. Fireplacity fireplace.

AW: I heart the US postal service! And cookies! Photos of babies, kittens, and puppies! The way our junior dog makes my beloved smile, even when she tracks mud in. The wild happy cat madness resulting from having a Big! Tree! in the living room. All the sweet sweet memories wrapped up in our eclectic collection of decorations.

Big AW: And, daughter will be home on the 20th! And she has a lead on a great job at a museum-y place!!

Bring 'em on, Pixies -- the whines and anti-whines, small and big; stylish, old skool; silly or serious. I hereby decree that if the house-elf does not thoroughly clean your house to exacting standards, you may pretend that he/she did and call it a day.

ETA 12/15: Blogspot is apparently having some issues. Sue reports lost comments yesterday, and I couldn't pull up the comment box earlier today. Whining will remain open, in the hope that these problems will get fixed. Calling out the Posse, 'cause this is not right.

Saturday, December 10, 2011

Slower Than Christmas Awards Post

We're back from our mini-vacation, and it was wonderful. And the Baboos had a good time with Favorite Babysitter, and Favorite Babysitter had fun with the Baboos. Yay! And there were no Potty Accidents OR Potty On-Purposes. Yay! Yay! Yay!

I am sad to say that there is a cascade (ew, sorry) of Bark Awards this week, animal and human divisions. kathy a.'s cat, Sue's little kitty, and Liz's poor carsick son (he and you both have my carsick sympathies. And the wet leaves--I'm in awe). And Sue, unfortunately still winning Bark Awards--quick healing vibes to you.

Liz receives the Old Skool Award for the AWOL walking partner.

Sue gets the Mullet this week, just because I have said the same thing myself, and this cracked me up: I'm thinking of going into the kitchen here at the church to make coffee, but I don't know how to use the machine. (Some things are just better NOT to know, trust me). Yep. I've only ever been asked to make coffee once per church.

Days is heading up the Cluestick Posse this week, because this woman has some very wise perspective. Grumpy relatives, Sue's headache/nausea, difficult husbands, hormone balls, children who voluntarily wake up to play video games: You are on notice. And Days, hopefully wielding cluesticks will give you some much needed energy, post-crash.

kathy a., I'm not sure if your sister-in-law needs a cluestick or what. But peaceful thoughts to you and all who are dealing with her.

Many hugs and sympathetic shoulders to Sarah at ratatat and to ThanksgivingAnon.

Rejoicing for stable disease, partners who decorate for Christmas, afternoons off, insurance companies who cover necessary procedures, house elves, and COOKIES!!

Monday, December 5, 2011

In Over My Head Whining

Anyone else feeling a teensy bit overwhelmed? Bit off more than you can chew? I'd go on but I can't think of any other cliches. Feel free to add some of your own.

My particular trouble is the sewing projects. I finished matching dresses for the Baboos, and they do look adorable in them. I still have on my list: a hat, three sets of pj's, a spa towel wrap and probably something else I'm forgetting. I keep thinking of things I want to sew, because it beats shopping, hands down.

What's your favorite way to be overwhelmed?

Huge AW: meeting up with friends overnight on Friday in near-ish Big City to celebrate the wife's birthday. Leaving the Baboos at home with their favorite sitter. Win-win-win-win!

Whines? Antiwhines? Cluesticks needed? Angling for an award? Bring 'em all, pixies.

Edited to add the picture...made the smallest size but still too big. You can see the dresses, but it's not a great photo of the Baboos. Not an easy feat.

Friday, December 2, 2011


Esperanza wins "Bringing the Bodily Fluids" award with her potty-training woes. On the plus side, her daughter is wicked smart.

Amy wins Elevated Risk of Mullet with this Anti-Whine:
AW: at least I shouldn't have to mop my floor again before Christmas.
Because that, there? That just says it all.

Jen R wins the Brevity award for
Tired and no breaks in sight. :-(

And Sue wins for Style because Fab-You-Luss HAIRCUT!! And good chatting! WOOT! I do hope the ringing in the ears goes away pronto, my dear.

Sending out the pre-emptive Cluestick Posse to the Sue's dad's professional College in the hopes that it will keep them from forcing his retirement. Not all 80-year-olds are unable to continue in their very necessary work, and I hope that the College will give a favorable assessment to Sue's dad!!

Sending out the regular Cluestick Posse to Sue's Presbytery Executive for giving her a hard time about her upcoming (and badly needed) sabbatical.

Cursing the Universe for the existence of fireplacing Cancer, and the fact that little children can get it, and that happy quilts can't cure it (though they make some of it easier to bear).

And sending hugs and love to Kathy A, who has to deal with a legally, mentally, and personalitily (is that a word?) troubled sister-in-law.

KLee basically summed it up with this gem:
Ugh. Just got back off Thanksgiving Break, and already looking forward to Christmas Break. Oy.

Which brings us to this gem by Tom Lehrer (always handy with the perfect song for the occasion):

Which reminds me that I'm doing Twenty-five Songs for the December Holidays over at MysteryMommy. One song every day through Christmas. Including a recent Hanukkah one from Mr. Lehrer, who is still alive and kicking, but not recording or touring, darn it.

And that's it for this week!

Tuesday, November 29, 2011

I always will remember, 'twas a year ago November... (edited to add the actual song for Sue)

...I went out to hunt some deer
On a morning bright and clear
I went and shot the maximum the game laws would allow
Two game wardens, seven hunters, and a cow.

I was in no mood to trifle
I took down my trusty rifle
And went out to stalk my prey
What a haul I made that day
I tied them to my fender and I drove them home somehow
Two game wardens, seven hunters, and a cow.

The law was very firm it
Took away my permit
The worst punishment I'd ever endured
It turns out there was a reason
Cows were out of season
And one of the hunters wasn't insured.

People ask me how I do it
And I say, there's nothing to it!
You just stand there looking cute
And if something shoot.
And there's ten stuffed heads in my trophy room right now
Two game wardens, seven hunters, and a pure-bred Guernsey cow

Now, I'm not saying these incidents are funny, I'm just saying that 50 years after Tom Lehrer wrote this song, his reason for writing it is still true. Where's the learning?

So, what whines have y'all got for us this week? And don't forget about the cookie swap!

Monday, November 28, 2011

Cookie Swap, Recipe Swap, and Other Deliciousness Thread

Ask, Neighbor Lady, and here it is!

Are you interested in a Holiday Cookie Swap? KLee will organize, just comment here that you want to send and receive a batch of cookies and/or other goodies, and KLee will fill in the details.

Are you looking for a recipe or have one to share? Turkey tips? Stuffing/dressing controversies? Favorite Holiday Punch? What to serve at the Open House for the whole congregation (er, maybe that's just me)? What to fix for supper while you're busy with other holiday baking? Comment here, too.

Edited to add:

Details added to comments about how to participate in the Cookie Swap!
If you would like to participate, please see the comments and follow the directions! Thanks! -- KLee

Saturday, November 26, 2011

Thankfulness abounds.

Apologies for being so late with the ceremony! But many good wishes to and thankfulness for friends and family, near and far.

Let's just get the Cluesticking out of the way, because however much we might love or appreciate someone, sometimes something can be as annoying as all get-out. In the lineup are: Anonymous' husband, whose particular area of cluelessness is not understanding that his nearest and dearest love family holidays, even if he doesn't; Big Box Pharm and Insurance Companies, who have unnecessarily caused Esperanza and many others grief; those who set up annoying meetings; various relatives of the sullen type. The Posse is particularly saddled up to confront the fireplacity fireplacing cancer, which has reared its ugly head again.

Many good thoughts, and boundless hugs for Days and her family, and for Esperanza's small friend who was just diagnosed. xoxoxoxo

Over the River and Through the Woods Awards go to Esperanza, whom we trust got to Grandma's eventually, and Liz.

Old Skool W/AW Combo Award goes to Liz, who reports [W] stabbing her own finger, but [A/W] such joy at seeing her son have a terrific time with the relatives!

Esperanza brings the bark, causing a turnaround on the road. But she wins Best Antiwhine, because they ended up with a quiet, peaceful evening at home, with everyone presumably recovered by the second try.

Sue wins the Style Award, for her link to the soothing Holiday Fireplace. And, we all wish you a less spinny recovery from the major whomp to your poor head.

KLee wins the coveted Elevated Risk of Mullet Award for her description of dueling family dynamics, on enemy sides of the family. In one corner, there is the sullen-unless-drunk political hater; and in the other corner is Grandma, who perhaps favored English or Psychology studies, because she decided that one of the photos from the European Tour looked just like a penis.

The Culinary Genius Award goes to Neighbor Lady, who reports that leftover pie is the perfect breakfast. Isn't that the truth?

Thanks for playing! And there's still time to join the Cookie Swap!

Monday, November 21, 2011


It's the start of the holiday marathon season, although it appears that certain businesses believe in the 12 Weeks of Christmas. Pixies disapprove, business-people!

Anyway, Thanksgiving means feasting and family and all that good stuff, usually. But tensions can run just a wee tiny bit high, too. Bring your anti-whines and whines, big and small!

My cousin is hosting, and he invited a LOT of people. So, 13 said yes, 3 said maybe, a bunch said no, and -- drumroll, please -- 14 have not responded despite reminders. Boo!

My friend also complains that she invited a friend's family with the understanding that the friend would help (although last time, the friend's friend "helped" by giving her a recipe, bringing 3 extra people, and showing up 1.5 hours late), and she kept getting excuses about planning, so my friend made reservations for everyone (because she really hates the cooking and worry and cleanup). So, her friend said, "Oh, that's not our thing. We'll just come by after dinner." Rude!

I'll be making cranberries, stuffing, sweet potato gratin, veggies and dip, and it will be glorious because I do not have to clean my personal house for the festivities. Yay! Son is making a pumpkin pie with a pumpkin from his very own garden -- who knew he'd turn out to be an urban gardener?

AW: Remember the snafu with daughter's grade from the summer, where a bunch of her work got lost? She re-bought the book, re-did the assignments that went missing, and was not getting any response from the teacher. Finally, she learned today that she got a B+. Yay! She's graduating next month!

W: Son's car died again. Fuel pump. Cousin's car died. Ran over a big-rig hubcap, which took out two tires and the engine won't start. This is obviously an epidemic.

What's happening in your world?

P.S. -- If you are interested in the cookie swap being organized by our own KLee, check the post below and contact KLee!

Thursday, November 17, 2011

Diminuitive Dwelling on the Great Plains Awards

Ha! Do you have a big vocabulary, silly spammer? Just try it again.


Old Skool Award to Liz for the woes of--alas--only finding an abridged version of one of her favorites for the Kindle. I have similar whines on audiobooks.

kathy a. gets Style, just for the sheer, double-taking power of the phrase "two great meetings."

We here at Wednesday Whining find ourselves surprised, but we're handing out kudos to the medical profession this week. Days feels better! And Medical Anon is many steps closer to getting some answers, thanks to GastroDoc. We would be happy to find a medical professional who can make Sue feel better, stat, and--while you're at it--make the infernal headache go away once and for all.

Cluesticks to snooty hotel employees, pinkeye, procrastination-causing to-do lists, meetings that last more than 90 minutes, especially ones involving the word "visioning," and other work situations.

As I'm emotionally overwhelmed by what seem to be the extreme manipulations of my potty training daughter (you would not believe the day we have had), that's the awards show, folks.

Be sure and check out the Cookie and Recipe thread, immediately below, and be sure and join us next week for the Thanksgiving Edition (U.S. version) with kathy a. as our hostess!

Monday, November 14, 2011

Little House on the Prairie Whining

Mini has the croup. For real. I feel like we should be on Little House in the Prairie, but thankfully we live in 2011, after the invention of steroids. We will, however, cross our fingers and say our prayers that Sweet, aka Miss Compromised Lung Function, doesn't get it. Croup is the virus du jour in our town, so I'm glad Mini is keeping up with current trends. Someone around here needs to.

So, got any old-fashioned whines? Or new-fashioned whines? Anyone twisting hay to burn in their stoves?

Awards - the "Not Wednesday Any More" edition

Happy birthday to Elizabeth! Pass the cake and ice cream!

Hip hip hooray to kathy a. on the All Clear medical results!

We want to congratulate Our Doorbell Queen, liz, for her hard work this election cycle. Better luck next time, and I am glad at least a few of the good ones made it into office in your district.

Congratulations to those celebrating blogger meetups, to the Sweet Baboo on her speech explosion, and to Neighbor Lady and her husband for their stint as G1rl Sc0ut C00kie Parents.

Sympathy to those with earworms, anyone suffering the fireplacing time change, those dealing with work craziness, anybody throwing up, insomniacs, those handling potty training accidents, Aunt Flo’s reluctant hostesses, and those afflicted with stupid condo bylaws. Send in the cluesticks!

Much Pixie love to Medical Anon and cluesticks to his or her insurance company, who is refusing to cover a scan.

My apologies that these awards are going up so late – I like to leave things open through the work week and my week got away from me, oh, sometime Thursday night. I am just now finding my way out of the fog.

Please join us next week when the charming esperanza will be our host.

In the meantime, kathy a.’s personal superpower intrigued me – what are your personal superpowers, Pixies?

Monday, November 7, 2011

Hi Pixies!

I just got home from a ten day trip and am thrilled to have woken up in my own bed (A/W!). Now that I am upright, I need to go shovel the 12 inches of snow we received since I left out of my driveway (W).

At least I have banana bread (A/W), since my houseguests left my freezer open and I had to use or lose all the food in it within a few hours of arriving home (W! W! W!).

What a start to the week! How are things at your house? Anybody want a piece of banana bread? I have lots...

Friday, November 4, 2011

Tricks 'n Treats

Such a week! Passing the leftover candy, and vanilla lattes for all.

Sending the Cluestick Posse out to the manufacturers of highly gendered items like pullups and toys. Not. Okay. Also, please note that it IS okay for boys to like big pink dollhouses.

More Cluesticks to Medical Anonymous' stupid insurance company, which has decided the scan was not medically necessary, and to the hospital, which only told her the results after two weeks and several calls from her. Plus, they have not figured out what is wrong yet, but we think continued barking and weight loss is not a sign of health.

wins the Brevity Award, with an Addition to the Lexicon sash, for: Lintiest. Sweater. Ever.

The coveted Elevated Risk of Mullet Award also goes to Amy, for sharing good cheer: Here, I'll send around some plastic vampire teeth, leftover from the h'ween party. They always cheer me up. :)

Elizabeth earns the Old Skool Award, for the triple whine of losing a post, being behind at work, and getting a sick kid call. Boo.

The Best Anti-Whine Award goes to Days, who was instructed to call the teacher (uh, oh...), but it turned out that her daughter is doing really well! And the teacher wants to give extra work to keep her engaged and challenged. Yay! And yes, you do have great kids.

Liz wins -- of course! -- the Doorbell Queen Award for talking up next week's election at her mammogram. She's unstoppable!

All Clear Awards to Sue and Liz, following their mams. Wishing Liz the best with further investigation. Thanks for the good thoughts on my upcoming one.

Back to the Grindstone Award for JenR, who returned from leave to find things "reorganized to the extent that I am not entirely sure what my job is right now." Okay, then. Bonus: several weeks worth of "pre-work" for a training in 2 weeks. Yeesh.

Bringing the Bodily Fluids this week is Esperanza, whose Mini is doing just great with the potty training, except she will only perform that awesome feat for three people in the entire universe. Thus, the pullups.

The Whining Works Award goes to Amy, who was complaining about being on terminal hold with the pediatrician's office when, voila! Someone answered.

Sending Healthy Vibes to Sue, recovering slowly from her concussion; Esperanza and Days, whose households are competing for the Snot Award; Amy, whose Tater is struggling with an asthma flareup; Elizabeth, who got the dreaded call from the school; and everyone else in need.

Hugs to KLee and Sue; our thoughts are with the family and friends of their friends, who both died in accidents this past. So terrible. xoxoxo

Thanks for playing! See you next week, when the fabulous Redzils will host!

Monday, October 31, 2011


Happy Halloween to all those celebrating! We seem to have some new kids on the block, so this year we might even get some trick-or-treaters.

Are you or yours rocking the costumes? Do tell!

Mixed W/AW on the work front: some things are moving right along, and others are festering a bit. Got more time for a big project, and my immediate response was to push that aside for a bit. Must. Keep. Going.

W: Have gotten myself on this committee. (What was I thinking?) And it is doing what committees do -- contriving ways to make people crazy. Sadly, the details are unbloggable, but some members of this committee have a past grievance about someone else. AW: I did not use the phrase "stuff it up your nose" in my response.

What's new in your world?

Friday, October 28, 2011

Thanks for all the birthday wishes, Pixies! There was lots of cake and I am feeling well feted, but I would like to request a special Cluestick Posse for the guy who asked how old I was, heard the number, then demanded to know when I am going to start a family (dude, I have a family – I just don’t have a kid yet. Human beings aren’t known for unassisted reproduction so Back. Off.).

I am posting these awards a little earlier than my usual, since I am headed to the (Western) Land of Mouse-themed Theme Parks for work tomorrow.

Liz gets the Postal Problem whine for the snafu caused by needing her mammo films from the mobile mammo unit, which apparently exists only in place you can’t pick things up. We hope that the follow up goes well, Liz, and whatever they saw was something harmless.

The Good Night’s Sleep Award to kathy a. to help her catch up after a night of cat snuggling and insomnia; to esperanza as she handles Baboo Tag Team Waking, and to the other Pixies in need of rest.

Many Good Wishes to amy as she deals with a childcare problem for poor Tater. We are all hoping things get better fast, so he is happier and you are happier and can like your job again.

Happy early birthday to Elizabeth – I wish I could come to the party too (but doubt you want to hold it in April, when I will be in your neighborhood next).

Sue, we hope you are feeling better as you get further from your concussive impact from the freezer door. That sleep / bark routine is a rough one.

May the unbloggables referenced around the edges of the last post resolve quickly and well (or at least quickly – I hate waiting for the other shoe).

The Cluestick Posse will be tracking down people displaying “arrogance and its comeuppance and not much learning from the situation,” childcare providers who don’t like children, and others who invoke Pixie Wrath.

Check back next week to join Host To Be Announced and the gang for our weekly party! See you then!

Monday, October 24, 2011

It's my party and I can whine if I want to!

It's my birthday party, so I can whine if I want to, whine if I want to! You would whine too if it happened tooooooo you....doo doo doo doo doo...

Whine: a big crazy work meeting was set for my birthday, so I get to spend at least eight hours of it in a conference room.

Antiwhine: I don't think I am important enough to get invited along for the Fancy Dinner for Important People that will eat the evening.

Whine: I don't have any plans besides work tomorrow (even though it's my birthday).

Antiwhine: I had a great weekend, including a small party, and my sister baked me a cake before driving home today. This birthday has been celebrated.

Whine: it's a round number birthday, so I am feeling old.

How about you, Pixies? What are you feeling this week?

All whines and antiwhines welcome.

Here is a virtual party hat for you. Cupcakes should be along any minute!

Friday, October 21, 2011

Awards! Cluesticks! If I Use Lots of Exclamation Points, It Will Be Exciting, Right?!?!!!

Happy Birthdays (you know, last week) to KLee and Neighbor Lady. Despite various levels of celebrating, the pixies join together in wishing you a wonderful year. And Happy Anniversary to Neighbor Lady & Neighbor Guy!

Style Award for Elizabeth's amazing prose that wrapped a whine within an antiwhine: "Starting to finally understand that my organization will never listen to my complaints of understaffing as long as I get the work done anyway."

Old Skool Award for Liz's litany of small misfortunes: salt in the coffee, tripping, and a headache. All that adds up to an award! Congratulations!

Elevated Risk of Mullet to KLee (and her dad) for "41. Eh--it's better than the Great Dirt Nap, I suppose." That is still cracking me up. Totally inappropriate to use in my professional capacity, but you can bet that ministers and funeral directors have all kinds of inappropriate stories to share in the hearse. This one's going on my list.

Quaking in My Boots Award to KLee for this sentence: "We have a barking phenomenon going around in my classroom." Stand strong, sister, stand strong. More quaking for Elizabeth's tummy rumbling and sore eye.

Cluesticks abound this week. Sue's colleagues who won't act like grown-ups; Liz's doctor's office, who seems to think she enjoys being put on hold and hung up on (surely there's a double penalty for ending a sentence with not one, but two, prepositions, but I can't figure out how to fix it); people who can't address envelopes to accommodate--you know--the 21st century; Sue's fireplacing headaches; "That Kid" who ruins it for the rest of us (well, nonviolent cluesticks for this one); people who organize conference calls without clear agendas; ultrasound techs with poker faces; and anyone else who messes with a whining pixie.

Good wishes for clear mammograms for Sue and Liz. Apologies to anyone I've missed. Tune in next week when redzils will host all your whines, large and small!

Tuesday, October 18, 2011


Well, I think it's finally fall here. We are breaking out the long sleeves today, because the high is only going to be 78. Yes. Seriously. Long sleeves.

W: overworked with stuff I don't like.
AW: friend's husband is doing great, they are flying back home tomorrow.
W: she's out of the office the rest of the week anyway.

Whine of Obviousness: Sitting around on the internet all evening is not very inspiring nor motivating. Which then leads to dispiritedness over lack of accomplishments. Duh.

Any whining pixies out there to join me?

Friday, October 14, 2011

Good day, sunshine!

Whining works! We lost our gray, cold gloom! And Esperanza got RAIN, after this long, dry, fiery summer!

Old Skool Awards to: JenR, for a comment lost in the black hole of the internet; Sue, for a shaving accident; and Esperanza, for a lapse in the overall potty-training victory.

Elizabeth wins the Weekend? What Weekend? Award for a marathon of driving driving driving, fasting, and sorting things. With kids! In the middle of the single-parenting gig! Followed by a metro meltdown on the way to kid pickup! Oy. We all vote for you to have a day off to collapse and recuperate.

Laundry Fairies to JenR, Esperanza, and heck, everybody who could use one. Kudos to loved ones who play the role of the Laundry Fairy.

JenR wins the Emily Litella Award ("if it's not one thing, it's another") for a passel of woes, which she had to type one-handed due to the other arm being occupied by a tiny one. Most chilling are the rogue underwires -- two of them in one week! That's got to put a dent in one's ability to be a superhero at all times.

Hugs, gluten-free treats, a stress-free zone, and a Magic Wand to Sarah, who has something unbloggably stressful going on. And this thing that's making her lose weight, a product of the stress. The Cluestick Posse is happy to help; just give us the nod. 'Cause this isn't right.

Liz wins the Squashed Award, for ye olde mam. And Kudos to her employer for arranging this to happen at work, so as to avoid the Joy of Traffic.

Cluesticks to Aunt Flo, who keeps annoying the membership and showing up at inconvenient times.

Much love and warm thoughts for Sue, whose headache demon crawled back from banishment; Medical Anon, who has thrashed her way through the red tape to get a scan scheduled for next week; and Days, who started a clinical trial far from home this week.

Thanks for playing! See you next week, when the fabulous Esperanza will host!

Monday, October 10, 2011

Monday, monday...

Breaking out the whine and cheeze early. It's gloomy and damp and cold; I want to curl up with the cats; but noooo, instead I'm futzing around with a BIG project, and am so BEHIND....

No, I'm not procrastinating! This post demonstrates my awesome multi-tasking skills: reducing stress while carefully pondering what to write next, and whether I should go eat something to boost energy and concentration. See?

How are you multi-tasking this week?

Saturday, October 8, 2011

Pie for all!

A Boatload of Pretzel Ms (the second M is optional) to JenR as she embarks on the craziness of family travel with family members too little to roll over, much less negotiate.

Happy ten year anniversary to Sue and her church (but not to the parishioners who forgot to celebrate it).

Best wishes to Sarah Squared and their minister, on the big day. I do love me some good weddings…

The Bandaid Award goes to Sweet for surviving two sticks and making it on to the growth chart for weight! Esperanza gets a bandaid too for her glamorous Clunk+Zit – ow!

The Good Parenting Award goes to kathy a. for supporting her grown up little one in solving her own problems, Esperanza for her “come to Jesus” with the fourth graders, and liz for teaching her small fry that bailing out of sex-ed is not the way to go. The Not-So-Good-Parenting Award goes to KLee’s twins’ mother – yikes!

The Flying Solo Award this week will be awarded to Elizabeth, for three weeks of solo parenting due to her partner’s work travel (complete with childcare late fees and the inevitable car issue).

Sympathy to Andy for his “Cryptic Metaphor Whining” – we hope whatever it is, it gets better soon.

Cluesticks to burned out light bulbs, MIL’s behaving in whine-worthy-ways, MSG pushers and deniers, sibling nastygrams (any nastygrams), spilled coffee, and parents who won’t believe their angels have the occasional demon-spawn moments. God Love ‘Em (since somebody has to) and Bless Their Hearts (in the true Southern sense), even.

Days wins the Ambivalence Award for “becoming a human guinea pig in NYC on a clinical trial - W? AW? I'll have to let you know.” All the Pixies will be rooting for you, Days, and you are welcome to whine or celebrate with us any time.

A Big Hug to amy, who is dealing with thyroid woes, childcare issues, and the craziness of Tot crying and money disappearing.

Have some pie, everybody, and please join us next week when the lovely kathy a. will be hosting!

Monday, October 3, 2011

Weather Whines for Winter

Hi Pixies!

I am swooping into this space, since nobody else claimed host privileges this week, to tell you it is snowing (snowing!) in my neck of the woods.

AW: I have new snow tires!

W: They are stored safely in the shed (I prefer them on the car).

W: It's slushy, wet, icy out there.

AW: We can all stop wondering when winter is going to get here.

What's the weather - inside or outside - like at your place?

Friday, September 30, 2011

On Top of Spaghetti.....

Many worthy entries this week, my friends!

The Style Award goes to Liz, whose son and hubby found this animated masterpiece to share!

There were some other long wiggly things in PixieLand, which we do not recommend for dinner. By general acclaim, Esperanza wins the prestigious Medal of Honor for Parental Performance Above and Beyond, for dealing with a fireplacing snake in the pool with her baby. Ack! Showing great courage, Esperanza demonstrated the grab, whack, and toss technique recommended by experts: grabbing a hoe, whacking that sucker to bits, and tossing it over the fence. Esperanza shall henceforth be known as The Mighty Slayer of Snakes. (hat tip, Elizabeth.)

In other heebie-jeebie news, Liz wins the Shower Scene of Horror Award for facing numerous spiders, including one up close and personal, in a small enclosed damp space. Ick! Kudos, too, for explaining her philosophy so clearly: "Better the dead spider you can see than the living spider you know is there somewhere hiding waiting to jump out and scare you. "

Despite this host's (minority-view) preference for vacuum disposal, even she must admit that the shower presents special challenges, not suited for the Hoover method. I confess to using the popular "smash" method as well, in crisis situations.

The shower is a dangerous place this week. Genevieve wins the Fireplacity Fireplace Award for slipping in the fireplacing shower and aggravating her fireplacing foot injuries. This award comes with hugs, a no-slip mat, and a prescription for putting the feet up, and having people fan you with palm fronds and deliver bon-bons. Glad that other things are better!

The coveted Elevated Risk of Mullet Award goes to Neighbor Lady, whose digestive complaints resolved but left her with unexpected weight gain: "And, also, curse you, you irresistable dark-chocolate-covered-pretzel-balls!!!"

The Three Dward Day Award goes to Sue, who not only experienced Sleepy, Grumpy, and Dopey, but also coined a new addition to the lexicon! (hat tip, KLee.)

Sue is also the recipient of the Belushi Award, for kinda looking like the Samurai Minister after that last treatment. But yay on vanquishing the headache monster!

Weather Whine Awards to Esperanza, who is looking for a big drop in temp, all the way down to 89 degrees; KLee, who is "ready for weather that does not involve so much sweating and icky-gross feeling"; and JenR, who reports rain rain rain wind, and "I just let my 3 year old play in a puddle until he was drenched anc cold because I simply could not stand staying in the house any longer."

Elizabeth wins the Best Anti-Whine Award: "My dad's coming to visit for Rosh Hashonah. And bringing NYC pastrami!" Happy Rosh Hashonah to all celebrating!

The Cluestick Posse is saddled up to pay Sarah's doctor a visit, for sending test results that included numbers and no interpretation, so she still doesn't know exactly what's going on. Many hugs from the group, since either way, it looks like a trial of gluten-free diet. Thanks to the Pixies who weighed in with encouragement and ideas.

More Cluesticks to facebook.

Time Machines to all Pixies feeling the crunch, including but not limited to Elizabeth, KLee and Sue.

Rooting through the Lost and Found here at Pixie Central, looking for everybody's misplaced energy, enthusiasm, get-up-and-go, can-do attitudes, etc.

Thanks for playing! See you next week!

Sunday, September 25, 2011

Fall is upon us....

We never actually got a lot of summer weather out here, and the early fall glory days have not shown up, either. Heat would have been a good excuse for not getting enough done, no? I may have to sentence myself to a library carrel to get some writing done this week.

Is there such thing as post-vacation letdown?

Well, the pets are glad I'm home; I'm given to understand that the concierge service was not up to snuff during my absence. In fact, my return is so darned exciting that one or more have celebrated with a few barks.

Bring the small and large ones, the whines and anti-whines! Extra credit for Style this week!

Thursday, September 22, 2011


Elevated risk of mullet to Sue for her description of airplanes as "Large tin petrie dishes from hell" and to Neighbor Lady for "Aunt Flo(od)."

Old skool award for Days and her wet dog, and for me and my ripped pants.

Cluesticks to the church ladies who don't think that Sue is working enough, to her airplane seatmate, and the supreme court.

A warm welcome back to Genevieve, and sympathies for the sadness and the physical issues. Wishes for healing of body and soul.

Wishing everyone more hours in the day, more sleep in the night, less time schlepping in the car and if we can't all have cleaning fairies, may we at least have friends who don't care about the dust bunnies.

Wednesday, September 21, 2011

welcome to what-do-you-mean-it's-Wednesday-already whining

I've decided that when they say that the days get shorter in September, it must be literally true. Not just that there are fewer hours of sunlight, but that there are fewer hours in each day. That's the only explanation for how I could be so far behind on everything in spite of running at full tilt, right?

Welcome to Wednesday (what do you mean it's Wednesday? It can't be Wednesday already!) whining, where no whine is too big or too small, the pixies are always armed with cluesticks, and points are awarded for style. I'm Elizabeth, and I'll be your hostess today. I highly recommend the self-pity today, although we've also got a fresh supply of despair at the state of the world. What can I get you?

[In the interest of fighting the incredible shrinking day, I'm declaring that Wednesday will last until at least Thursday evening. Keep your whines coming.]

Friday, September 16, 2011

French Fried Awards

Pixies, I am a little French Fry right now. But it's now or never for awards, since tomorrow and Sunday are full.

Get Well Soon Award to Neighbor Lady, with the crud.

Get busy, cluestickers, we're having a busy week: Cluesticks to Days's flooding dishwasher, kathy a.'s daughter's smell-impaired landlady, Elizabeth's no-show babysitter, and Sue's appointment-canceling clinic.

Old Skool Award to Days, for waiting all day for the courier to arrive with the package that was still sitting in some warehouse somewhere.

And kathy a. gets the inspiring Elevated Risk of Mullet for this hotel dweller's whine: "my travel deodorant committed sewercide--jumped right out of its tube and into the commode."

Honorable Mention Mullet to Sue for her clarification: "I should add that my black-circled eyes are the result of no opposed to, you know...crack."

"Do They Have Nothing Better to Ask Parents to Do?" Award for all those packing school lunches by picky rules. And for all those children and parents asked to sell fundraising junk for even junkier prizes. Seriously. Just ask me for a donation.

An Award of Competency to Elizabeth and everyone else who has ever felt like an imposter. Ahem. I'm guessing that's everyone.

Best Wishes to Gary and his family, as they adjust to grandpa in the house.

Let's just give a prize to everyone this week: lots and lots of that thing that happens when you close your eyes and breathe slowly and deeply and act like JenR's sweet baby. You know, that thing we're not saying.

Be sure and come back next week, when Elizabeth will host our whines large and small.

Tuesday, September 13, 2011

Whines? Bring 'Em

Big ones, small ones, whiny ones, braggy ones, Old Skool ones, stylish ones, funny ones, sad ones, old ones, new ones. We take them all.

My whine? Clearly I'm no Dr. Seuss.

Monday, September 12, 2011

Awards, belated due to computer melt-down edition

Posting this from work, because my computer is still down for the count. Turns out that Windows 7 Starter is even less flexible than I previously thought.

Remembering What It's All About goes to JenR for the awkward dance most newborns and their moms go through to get the nursing to actually work.

Kathy A. gets the That Sums it Up award for "seem to have misplaced the overdrive feature on my motivation gearshift."

Sue wins the This Whine Brought to You by Acme Mail Order Supplies award.

Kathy A. adds a whole new chapter to the Bible with "[yes, i have a close personal relationship with the gospel according to looney tunes.]"

Gary gets the coveted Elevated Risk of Mullet for "My whine is that individual eyebrow follicles have become ambitious colonialists.", and continues a theme with "..."I pluckerated it with extreme prejudice before its nefarious plan to make me look like a brunette version of Yosemite Sam could come to fruition."

Andy goes Old Skool with his whine about the Houston Chronicle's online comics page re-design. Needless to say, I hear you on those computer woes.

Esperanza's Dad gets the Good Samaritan award for taking one for the team and volunteering for a lay-off so others may continue to work.

The Vinnie Bobarino Award goes to Gary and Elizabeth. Welcome Back. We missed you.

The Cluestick Posse is being sent out to KLee's neighbor, who is just about the most deplorable human being I've ever heard about, ever, short of committing an crime. Who DOES that?

Elizabeth, we are all thinking of you in your time of loss. Remember, what you do does matter to many people.

Hugs and love to everyone, and I'm sorry if I missed anybody!!

Tune in...Tomorrow! When our host will be Esperanza.

Tuesday, September 6, 2011

Post-Labor Day hang-over post

What is it about three-day-weekends that makes the four-day-week that follows them feel like it will never end?

Here it is, not quite noon on Tuesday and I'm wondering where Friday is.

So is today a Monday for you?

Thursday, September 1, 2011

It's the Most Wonderful Time of the Year!

First, many congratulations are in order!

Happy Baby and mazel tov
to JenR, whose wee one was born! HOORAY! Best to mama, dad, baby, and family!

Happy 31st Anniversary to Sue!

Belated wedding congratulations to Andy!

The title of this post was inspired by a back-to-school commercial that my sister was remembering fondly as she launched her son into another year of too much running around and the traditional homework wars. In honor of the season most beloved by parents, we are pleased to present Back to School Awards to Esperanza, whose Sweet is excited about returning to preschool and "big" school! To Sarah, whose local school year begins today! To Days, who is practicing back-to-school retail therapy to stave off the end-of-summer meltdowns! And to Everyone Else!

The Old Skool Award, with a side of Mullet, goes to Amy, who reports: "Gah! I have a giant zit on my jawline, and it hurts so bad I can't concentrate on anyth " There is much sympathy in Pixieland, particularly since the condition appears to be widespread. But we are so not cluesticking you for causing Andy's zit. Runner-up is Andy, who says: "And why is it that vapid losers never get zits? It's like God's punishment for being cool."

The coveted Elevated Risk of Mullet Award goes to Andy, for the multi-part update on his marriage, including historical materials.

What with the stress and all, there is an urgent need for Chocolate Awards this week: Amy, who dipped into the frosting; Esperanza, who hit the chocolate chips; Liz, who opines that "If you're not slurping the Hershey's chocolate syrup out of the bottle, it's not really an emergency"; in response to which Amy warns "I buy the Tr@der J0e's chocolate syrup, and straight out of the bottle it pretty much tastes like dirt and twigs and hippies." These awards are virtually edible, and we offer a money-back guarantee they do not cause zits.

Sarah wins the Bodily Fluids division with a vigorous visit from Aunt Flo.

Andy wins the Free Fries Award for the sad, sad tale of Hardees letting him, a loyal customer, down by rotating out the staff who used to revel in his coolness, and rotating in these whippersnappers who have no respect.

Signs of a Long Vacation Ending Award
to Sue, who reached that level of aimlessness that causes one to re-arrange the furniture. And today? An entire month of the stuff she did not have to deal with.

Kudos to Neighbor Lady, who offered insights that might help Medical Anonymous in the quest to figure out what the heck is going on, and to Liz and Sue, suggesting Action Measures.

The Cluestick Posse is hereby dispatched to Medical Professionals, who need to get off their butts and straighten out what's going on with our friends Sarah and Medical Anonymous. Crossed fingers and hugs, friends; we have your back.

Additional Cluestickage to those powers in the universe conspiring to make Esperanza's life miserable, with "work emergencies" of her beloved always coming first, and her always stuck with the childcare arrangements.

Weather Report: Our thoughts go out to all those affected by Irene, especially by the terrible flooding some places. Neighbor Lady's report on the basement shelter during a bar mitzvah / tornado warning was scary. We also hope that Esperanza gets some relief from the unbelievably high temps.

Sunday, August 28, 2011

Goodnight, Irene

Opening early due to all the darned weather excitement on the East Coast. Hope everyone's OK. Glad she wasn't as terrible as feared, but it was still a massive and disruptive storm. Do tell your stories.

How is the back-to-school proceeding? This will be the first time in 20 years that we are not actually doing back-to-school! But the big move for daughter's fall internship is approaching, so we're still doing the transition shuffle. Her DC apartment has a queen-sized bed; she's only had twins before. Her job may require something better than slouchy campus wear. Etc. Countdown: two weeks.

One of my shy former ferals was devastated by the loss of his best feline friend last month. He has just started asking me for petting again, so I finally was able to grab him and dose him with flea meds. He's been over-grooming, partly from grief and partly because his skin is irritated by the fleas, so I hope he's on the mend now.

What's new in your neighborhood?

Friday, August 26, 2011

Creepy Crawly Heebie Jeebie Awards Ceremony

Fruit Fly Awards go to JenR, with the (very) small bonus of distraction from the "no baby yet" phenomenon. Baby, get here soon and safely! Fruit flies, go away soon and not so safely!

Spider and Offspring Awards to Amy, whose expectant spider disappeared with her brood (the spider's brood, not Amy's). Additional awards to those who can vacuum up live creepy crawlies without getting the heebie jeebies. Bats to those who can't.

Earthquakes Give Me Heebie Jeebies, and So Do Hurricanes Awards to all the East Coast pixies. Two disasters in one week is a bit much. Be careful, stay safe, and keep in touch when you can, pixies.

Creepy Crawly Heebie Jeebie Educational Awards to kathy a (for her treatise on Harriet the tarantula), Andy (for his positive spider tale) and Neighbor Lady (for the fruit fly science lab).

Political Heebie Jeebie Awards for anyone living in the vicinity of the aptly-named, but ungoogleable, Dick Black's district.

Hugs and sympathy to Sue on behalf of all Canadians whose best politician died. And much sympathy to Days, who still has way too many days before school starts. And for Sue again, on the account of the Infernal Headache. Neighbor Lady and Anonymous get hugs and sympathy for illnesses of various kinds. We'll also send chocolate cake.

It's unclear to me who needs an award or sympathy for the Kerry Collins quarterback situation. Consider yourself the recipient of whichever you would like, ok?

I've dispensed with the usual Style, Old Skool, Mullet awards this week...the Heebie Jeebies just offered too much other material.

Stay tuned for next week, hopefully with fewer bugs, more babies, and fewer potty training whines.

Monday, August 22, 2011

Back-to-School Whining

It's back-to-school time here in the dry, crispy, 100-degree, high fire danger state of the country that keeps producing governors who want to be president.

Antiwhine is the incredible smile on Sweet's face when I told her she was going back to school next week.

Whine is the incredible amount of whining and fit-throwing she has been doing over *any* new item (cup, bedspread, activity).

The Mini related antiwhine is the potty! and the words! She's making incredible progress without much effort on my part. She only had two wet diapers all day, and no dirty ones. Everything else was in the potty!

The Mini related whine is her new, sporty black eye. She ran into the corner of the end table on Saturday. (Bonus antiwhine: I now have the pediatrician's cell phone number!)

What are the back-to-school whines around your places, pixies? No school yet? Haven't been to school in years and don't intend to return? No matter. All whines accepted.

Friday, August 19, 2011

Fabulous Prizes!

Andy wins the Old Skool Award, for the perils and tribulations of a broken dryer. Andy also wins the coveted Elevated Risk of Mullet Award for this: "Yes, my whine is that I have a caring mother who wants to talk to me. There goes my Son of the Year Award." We're glad to see you again!

In another laundry-related whine, Amy is haunted by the musty smell of her vacation cabin, earning her the Ghost of Vacation Past Award. Maybe the baking soda + vinegar? Airing them, then re-washing? Sending the Posse to manufacturers of perfumed detergent, which several Pixies agree is Not The Answer.

Our poor Liz gets the Bad Hair Day Award, because she asked for a trim, and "Instead, I have helmet hair. Lopsided helmet hair. And a DA." The Cluestick Posse is ready to return the favor, as soon as we can settle on the right look. Mohawk? Grandma-style cap of curls with blue tint? Please submit ideas on this important topic in comments.

We regret the circumstances leading us to name Esperanza the winner of the Vacation Schmacation Award: the emergency requiring hubby to return home, and the grandparental pushing of the buttons. The Grandparents win a special shout-out: "Can you repeat the obvious again please? I can't hear you." We'll sing the chorus: LA LA LA LA LA LA!

The Dress Code Award goes to Sue, who informs us that "one must NEVER wear the band t-shirt TO the concert. This would be a huge red flag for geekdom." Glad you had a great time! Sue also wins the Making Friends Where Ever She Goes Award for taking water to random fans, and discovering one who knows her son. Small world!

Days wins the Free to Good Home Award with her report of not one but two offspring melting down in late summer. This award comes with an Anti-Stress Magic Wand, and a nice quiet room for Mama.

Good Days, Sunshine Award goes to Neighbor Lady, who does not lose her accreditation as a responsible, sunscreen-slathering parent just because of a little sunburn after a long day, and a few zig-zags where the kids effectively applied their own. See, the zig-zags represent progress on the long journey toward independence! Also, if they must dabble in body art, this is at least not permanent. :)

Ready Set Go Award for Esperanza's Mini, who is cute as a button and talking up a storm!

Hugs and good thoughts for Anonymous, whose rotating cast of symptoms sounds possibly worrisome. Hoping you feel better soon! Please tell us how it goes.

Love, crossed fingers, and healthy baby vibes to JenR, who is in the beached-whale stage of pregnancy, hearing an unusual diagnosis, and counting down the days. xoxo

See you next week, when the ever-gracious Esperanza will host!

Monday, August 15, 2011

It's a beautiful day in the neighborhood

Morning sunshine! We've had a lot of morning gloom lately, sometimes stretching for most of the day, so this is nice.

The other excitement in the neighborhood is that the new Big Fancy Supermarket opened, replacing two small ones. Everyone is checking it out, saying Ooooh Ahhhh about its features: Asian food in the deli; an actual butcher counter; huge produce section; pharmacy; a whole row with bins of every dry good you can imagine. And all my favorite workers from the old market -- the union protected them.

We've been winding down from the crisis last week involving a mentally unstable relative. She is a train wreck, has been for the 30 years I've known her, and she is definitely deteriorating. But she thinks she is fine, everyone else is wrong, and we've had pretty brutal experiences trying to help during the crisis du jour. So, this is not going to play out well. And we are not going to get in a position where we let her severe, toxic problems ruin our lives again.

On to the funny: daughter called and said she has a problem with lots of tiny flies in her studio apartment. Dr. Google backed up my advice (actually a topic of past Whines) about building a non-toxic fly trap with vinegar, orange juice, or a mixture. Further interrogation revealed that she eats in her room, and hadn't taken out the trash for a really long time. (Cue Alice's Restaurant.)

And now, for the big AW: I've installed Firef0x, and am about to see if it will let me post to WW on the main computer! So far, it is a lot less glitchy than IE.

What's new with you?

Friday, August 12, 2011


Sorry about the delay in awards. A mentally ill relative in a distant county got arrested, so I spent about 5 hours yesterday trying to find out what was going on and arranging for bail. Still don't know exactly what happened, but assume it is another sign that she is a complete freaking mess. Also, she wants to move to live right near us again. Oh. Joy.

Emily wins the Old Skool Award for this gem: "My cell phone battery indicator is woefully inadequate. It goes s..l..o..w..l..y from full to -1 bar, sits there for a while and then--bam--it's dead (like not turn on, dead). The phone seems fine and the battery itself seems fine. I just have to remember to charge it as soon as it loses one bar. I mourn the loss of visual indication."

KLee wins the coveted Elevated Risk of Mullet Award, for: "Sarah, I think I've found that ~15 pounds you lost. I will gladly pay to ship it back to you."

The Best Anti-Whine Award goes to Sarah: "Some unbloggable things are AW. I am pretty chipper."

Whining Works Award to Days, who complained of pain, and voila, the pain went away. Here's to a reduction in those summer kidlet meltdowns, too.

Liz wins the Solidarity Forever Award, for bringing donuts to the strikers.

Happy Birthday to Jenevieve, who wins the Dog's Best Friend Award for adopting a sweet older pup. Only to have her heart broken when she discovered the dog may be considerably sicker than she realized. Sending love, and some scritches around the ears. (Not your ears.)

Bucket List Award to Sue, who is going to see her favorite group in concert! In Nashville! And congratulations on the other good news!

Happy Baby Vibes to JenR and her wee one! Fingers crossed that all goes welll and smoothly.

Cluesticks to KLee's possibly former friend, for creating an ugly situation with KLee in the middle, then hanging up on her.

Passing the refreshing summer beverages, and wishing all a good weekend.

Monday, August 8, 2011


Welcome to this week's Whiner's Ball! Bring 'em on, the whines and anti-whines, big and small. Bonus points for vacation reports!

AW/W/AW: Daughter got an apartment for her fall internship in DC! And I set up flights, hotel, am perusing a guidebook -- getting her settled will double as a big deal trip for me, the chance to finally see the sights (and maybe see a couple internet friends)! Yay! I'm so excited that I'm just singing LA LA LA LA about the costs. But I got great rates on flights, and teh Smithsonians are free, and there's great metro.

W/AW: It was a lovely memorial for my son's friend. Got to hug a bunch of young people I know; and they all needed the hugs. So did I.

Work is a little crazy now. I'm compensating with some serious doses of netflix, which is probably not entirely healthy, but so what.

What's new up your way?

Thursday, August 4, 2011

First Rule of Wednesday Whining: Never Apologize for Whining at Wednesday Whining.

Listen up, folks. I'm here to give it to you plain and simple. This is a place for dumping our grievances, be they small, large, funny, sad, overwhelming, petty, or overwhelmingly petty.

You got a sadness? Bring it here. You got an annoyance? Bring it here. You got a funny potty training story? Bring it here.

That is what this site was started for and that's what we have kept doing week after week for over four years.

Now, that said, I am sending out the Cluestick Posse to give a cluesticking upside the head of Sue's bossy older sister. Sue, we have all been in these battles with various loved ones in our lives, and we all have your back.

Semicolons for Everybody! Award to Esperanza.

Esperanza also gets the Sometimes Short Anti-whines Speak Volumes for: "AW: Looks like I'll get to go fetch [the glasses] *by myself* on Thursday." And a (sorry, not real) gift certificate for one of these, for the diaper bag.

Jen R wins Elevated Risk of Mullet this week for: "I left too late for breakfast this morning and drove past my drive-thru options (star$$ and mc-golden-arches). The granola bar and candy I had at my desk have left me tired, crabby, and feeling a bit ill. Lesson for me: when pregnant, eat decent breakfast."

Kathy A. wins Style this week with her haiku to Jen R.:
"breakfast, glorious
breakfast; yummers in the tum
make it all better. "

Hugs to Jen R, for having 24 days left of pregnancy (but only 10 work days!), and sending condo-selling thoughts. Hugs also to Kathy A's son, and to his friend's family. Hoping Sue's husband's sore is all better. Esperanza, I hope your day out getting the glasses was all you hoped it would be.

That's it for this week!

Monday, August 1, 2011

Head meet Desk

I came here looking to see if a new WW post had gone up and then realized that I'm hosting!!

Hi! I'm Liz and I'm a nincompoop. [Hi Liz!]

So on the homefront: unpacking continues apace; my netbook's new updated version of Windows 7 (Starter) isn't playing nice with my anti-virus software; and my son's DSi XL is mine for the week due to an interesting confluence of forces having to do with carelessness, excitement, and the near-ruin of a $25.00 purchase of something he'd been begging for. Fortunately, everything turned out okay, but the lesson is being learned.

How's by you? Whines welcome, big, small, and in-between. Extra points for style, and/or the interesting use of semi-colons.

Friday, July 29, 2011


Better late than never, eh? Our own Liz points out that the 4th blogiversary of Wednesday Whining in this space was on July 11! Passing the cake and festive beverages with tiny umbrellas. This community has been lovely and fabulous through all the ups, downs, and whoopsies.

Congratulations to Liz, for accomplishing the dreaded house-moving operation!

The Old Skool Award this week goes to Days, who complains: "My "i" key works only intermittently these days. Phooey." Keyboard dysfunction is indeed a classic.

Riding to the rescue in yet another tragic case of undergarment dysfunction, Liz retains her crown as The Bra Queen, providing solid advice and support (heh!) for the afflicted. Liz also notes that festooning the household with drying bras is a great way to embarass the offspring. ;) The general consensus is that Victoria's Secret deserves a cluesticking for pathetic performance in appropriate undergarment fitting, and forgetting what it's all about; one suspects that "comfortable fit" is nowhere on the list of corporate business objectives.

Lemonade Out of Lemons Award goes to Esperanza, who finds an up side to the chicken pox: "Chicken poxy kids are getting me out of lots of stuff I didn't really want to do anyway. And people are bringing us food. Lovely!"

Heat Wave Award to all who have suffered from extreme temperatures this week, and particularly to Amy, whose air conditioning died. She reports: "One thing I have learned is that I am a muuuuuuch more pleasant person when there is A/C." Amen.

Intrepid Gardener Award goes to Neighbor Lady, who is bravely planning to replant for fall harvesting.

Sue wins the Family Dysfunction Sweepstakes this week, for her encounter with Control Overdrive Sibling, who is a candidate for the Amazing Relative Hall of Fame after telling Sue what time she was allowed to leave a family event. Runner up is Esperanza, for her close encounter with Must Always Be Right. Cluesticks to all Those Relatives; we've all got one someplace in the family tree.

Esperanza wins the Cabin Fever Award for extended parental duty with the Baboos, and the added misfortune of not much to do nearby when she did get relief. But she did manage a delightful afternoon out of the house, alone, and even some trashy summer reading (uninterrupted!) by the river. Yay!

Liz is on a roll this week, and she wins the coveted Elevated Risk of Mullet Award for her excellent backup plan for escape in one's own home, one that JenR approves and Days plans to add to her bag of parenting tricks.

Perils of Potty Training Awards go to Esperanza and Amy. All we can say is that kids are really individual in this area. And accidents happen even after official achievement of the goal; sometimes distraction or stress are behind them. Much sympathy from the Pixie Nation.

Hugs to Neighbor Lady, whose daughter is having some scary symptoms, and who is having some anxiety; and to Days, who feels out of the loop, and is having leg pain. We hope you both have fabulous getaways at the shore and the lake! Fingers crossed for Neighbor Lady's daughter, and for Sue, who is waiting on ultrasound results.

Have a great weekend, and we'll see you next week, when the fabulous Liz will host!

Monday, July 25, 2011

Moving On

Hi, Pixies! Looking forward to this week's crop of whines and anti-whines.

This week, my featured whine is trying to find temporary housing for my daughter, for her fall internship across the country. The internet is a glorious thing, bringing craigslist and websites galore, but ohmydog, I will be so happy when we can sign a lease and write a deposit check. We have serious sticker shock, since BigCity is so very expensive compared to her sleepy college town. We have become familiar with the metro system, walking distances, decent vs. iffy neighborhoods and suburbs, the devotion of landlords to long-term leases, and "sorry, that place is taken already."

AW: This is a Learning Experience for daughter, who is doing the heavy lifting on finding housing for the first time. AW: A friend in BigCity has been really helpful with neighborhoods, transportation, features, and other tips.

Meanwhile, back at the ranch, my cousin got the last truckload to his new place this weekend. My son came to borrow nice clothes from his dad for a wedding.

Spot the cat is missing his late uncle Earl, and worrying his fur. But he has also gotten brave, and started chasing the senior cat around, which is pretty funny, except to her.

What's going on at your place?

Friday, July 22, 2011

Boxes, Poxes, Squawkses

Happy Birthday Week to Sue!

A round of applause for KLee, who wins the Best Anti-Whine Award for the excellent news that JF is away at his new job orientation! Congratulations to him.

Best wishes to Liz, who wins the PackPackPackPack Award for her superhuman pre-moving efforts. This award includes however many pitchers of margaritas it takes, and complimentary service from the Moving Fairies.

Esperanza wins the Pox Docs Don't Rocks Award; her poor Mini is afflicted despite vaccination, and "Dr. Google is a quack" for suggesting the case would be very mild. Sending an ocean of calamine lotion via Pixie Express. Yay for grandparental backup.

Rack Attack Award goes to Amy, who found a Perfect Bra for the big reunion event, except the underwire makes a noise described as "squick-squawk". We defer to the advice of the resident Bra Queen, Liz, to unload that bra and find another.

Sue wins the coveted Elevated Risk of Mullet Award for putting it this way: "Take it back and tell them it's talking to you." Runner-up for Mullet is KLee, who observes on the related topic of underwire hating that "gravity is a harsh mistress, and droopage is inevitable."

This Kid's a Keeper Award to Neighbor Lady, who warmed our hearts with this report: "Watching my 7 year old son doing the video game "Just Dance". Beyond cute!!!!!!! Of course if he thought I was actually paying attention, he would stop immediately. Having a laptop open on your lap makes it seem like you're doing important work, ya know?"

Back to Civilization Award to Sarah, who forgot she hates camping, but survived the experience anyway.

Free At Last Award to Liz, whose "terrible, horrible, no-good, very bad boss got canned..." Couldn't have happened to a more deserving fellow. ;)

The Cluestick Posse is saddled up and ready to deliver yet another message to the insurance industry, on behalf of JenR. They lose the paperwork, then have the gall to send a hefty denial of claim because they don't have the paperwork. This burns our butts.

Condolences to all who are suffering from the heat wave, sleepless anxious nights, loss of the spring chicken designation, headaches, less-fun family occasions, bra complaints, or any setback leading one to consider duct tape as a solution.

Monday, July 18, 2011


My youngest first cousin just moved to a house very close to us! Or at least, they started moving. Nothing at all was packed, but they eventually managed 2 truckloads and some carloads. His mom brought cleaning supplies, his sister brought her family and major tools, an in-law family showed up to help, and a lot of things got done -- even if there is still a lot left at the old place. Good cousin times! And they have appliances, baby.

Anyway, my other cousin's husband and I got into an animated back-and-forth about dinner on Saturday. He was the grillmaster; he had to re-shape and season the burgers, drizzle sauce just so on chicken wings, and he insisted on personally doing the broccoli just right. I graciously acceded to almost all his conditions with a grin, but refused to concede the corn, which the little cousins had husked earlier to help me. It was very funny, and I thought at last we were getting to know one another well enough to joke. Except I heard later that he is serious about his control issues, leading some to worry about warfare and/or whether I was offended. Oh, well. All's well that ends well, no?

Things I brought to the house party: duct tape; paper towels; stepstool; rake; house broom and dustpan; hammer; push broom; garbage bags; shelf paper selected by the young cousins; hand soap dispenser; old mats for front and rear doors; leftover holiday paper goods; food; assorted home repair items. The food was the most popular, obviously.

I bought the white duct tape a couple years ago, when I was abruptly made the person in charge for this cousin's wedding. Think it was a pixie who recommended it, in case of "catastrophic wedding dress failure." That story delighted the heck out of the handyman; he repeated the phrase "catastrophic wedding dress failure" 2 hours later, laughing heartily as he taped the hole between the kitchen and the hornet nest in the attic.

Sorry for rambling on; it was a big weekend. What's new out your way?