Thursday, September 1, 2011
It's the Most Wonderful Time of the Year!
First, many congratulations are in order!
Happy Baby and mazel tov to JenR, whose wee one was born! HOORAY! Best to mama, dad, baby, and family!
Happy 31st Anniversary to Sue!
Belated wedding congratulations to Andy!
The title of this post was inspired by a back-to-school commercial that my sister was remembering fondly as she launched her son into another year of too much running around and the traditional homework wars. In honor of the season most beloved by parents, we are pleased to present Back to School Awards to Esperanza, whose Sweet is excited about returning to preschool and "big" school! To Sarah, whose local school year begins today! To Days, who is practicing back-to-school retail therapy to stave off the end-of-summer meltdowns! And to Everyone Else!
The Old Skool Award, with a side of Mullet, goes to Amy, who reports: "Gah! I have a giant zit on my jawline, and it hurts so bad I can't concentrate on anyth " There is much sympathy in Pixieland, particularly since the condition appears to be widespread. But we are so not cluesticking you for causing Andy's zit. Runner-up is Andy, who says: "And why is it that vapid losers never get zits? It's like God's punishment for being cool."
The coveted Elevated Risk of Mullet Award goes to Andy, for the multi-part update on his marriage, including historical materials.
What with the stress and all, there is an urgent need for Chocolate Awards this week: Amy, who dipped into the frosting; Esperanza, who hit the chocolate chips; Liz, who opines that "If you're not slurping the Hershey's chocolate syrup out of the bottle, it's not really an emergency"; in response to which Amy warns "I buy the Tr@der J0e's chocolate syrup, and straight out of the bottle it pretty much tastes like dirt and twigs and hippies." These awards are virtually edible, and we offer a money-back guarantee they do not cause zits.
Sarah wins the Bodily Fluids division with a vigorous visit from Aunt Flo.
Andy wins the Free Fries Award for the sad, sad tale of Hardees letting him, a loyal customer, down by rotating out the staff who used to revel in his coolness, and rotating in these whippersnappers who have no respect.
Signs of a Long Vacation Ending Award to Sue, who reached that level of aimlessness that causes one to re-arrange the furniture. And today? An entire month of the stuff she did not have to deal with.
Kudos to Neighbor Lady, who offered insights that might help Medical Anonymous in the quest to figure out what the heck is going on, and to Liz and Sue, suggesting Action Measures.
The Cluestick Posse is hereby dispatched to Medical Professionals, who need to get off their butts and straighten out what's going on with our friends Sarah and Medical Anonymous. Crossed fingers and hugs, friends; we have your back.
Additional Cluestickage to those powers in the universe conspiring to make Esperanza's life miserable, with "work emergencies" of her beloved always coming first, and her always stuck with the childcare arrangements.
Weather Report: Our thoughts go out to all those affected by Irene, especially by the terrible flooding some places. Neighbor Lady's report on the basement shelter during a bar mitzvah / tornado warning was scary. We also hope that Esperanza gets some relief from the unbelievably high temps.