Sunday, December 25, 2011

Merry Everything!

Let the holiday whining commence (slash continue)!

While I hope everyone's festivities abide by the Universal Declaration of No Drama, I wanted to open up a thread for those whose loved ones maybe need a Cluestick Reminder and for those with anti-whines to celebrate (recognizing that those could be the very same Pixies in both categories. Life is like that).

What are the whines and anti-whines in your neck of the woods on this Christmas week / wintery week?

Friday, December 23, 2011

Universal Declaration of No Drama

We, the Pixies of the World, recognizing that people are gathering together in the Holiday Spirit and celebrating their festivities of choice, hereby declare the Holidays to be a Drama-Free Zone.

Should anything threaten to create drama, we shall take appropriate measures to restore peacefulness to our respective locations and selves, including but not limited to: pretending the untoward event did not happen; sticking fingers in our ears and singing LALALALA or a seasonally appropriate alternative; employing measures of distraction; letting others help with necessary tasks; chilling out; and trusting in our own resourcefulness no matter what.

See? Attitude is everything! This thread will remain open through the weekend, though, just in case of emergency whines and anti-whines.

Moving along to the awards, KLee wins the Community Spirit Tiara for organizing the very popular and successful cookie exchange! ~wild applause~ This was an inspired and inspiring idea, not to mention yummy.

Liz wins the Style Award for her seasonal haiku, which doubles as a recipe tip:

A Haiku to the Scent of Latkes that Remains on My Hands Despite Vigorous Washing.

Potatoes, onions
Two eggs, flour, salt, pepper
And oil. Lots of oil.

Esperanza earned the Old Skool Award for her classic whine: "When does school start again?"

The winner of the coveted Elevated Risk of Mullet Award is Days, whose children complain -- despite bulging pantry and fridge -- that "There's nothing to eat." We diagnose Extended Vacation Behavior Syndrome, a common and contagious seasonal affliction cured by return to school. (See, e.g., Old Skool Award.)

Runner-up for Mullet is Liz, who -- after various discussions of cookies and latkes -- advised: "In totally unrelated news, I can't button my pants. They must have shrunk in the wash."

Lovely Anti-Whine Award goes to Neighbor Lady, who reported: "I am hearing my kiddos singing Hanukkah songs in the other room right now." Awwwww... Bah humbug and banishment to the vertigo.

Sarah receives the Miracle of Lights Award, returning to a comforting tradition during a time that is pretty upside-down. You are NOT lazy! Hugs and best wishes as you work through this transition to a different life.

JenR wins the Almost Had A Night Off Award, as her 3 year old agreed to a sleepover at Grandma's! Which, as these things sometimes go, lasted only 2 hours. Sigh. But as we say in the parenting biz, Progress!

Amy wins the Stretched Too Thin Award, with many runners up. Breathe!

The Itchy and Scratchy Award goes to Sue, who conquered HIVES, yikes, possibly from the favorite seasonal coffee beverage. On top of this being such a busy week, and a pulled back (yay for massage), and more with the head pain. Oy! But it is fab fab fab that you get Sunday off!

The Good Housekeeping Tip of the Week Award goes to Esperanza, who assures us that rubbing oniony hands on smooth stainless steel (not steel wool!) is the cure. Liz, however, wins the Hostess With the Mostest Award for the silver lining: "I don't mind the smell, at all. Actually, I rather like it. But it's making me hungry." Her latkes are so good, they made us all hungry, even over the internets.

Happy Hanukkah, Merry Christmas, Happy Kwanzaa, Joyous Solstice, Festive Festivus, and may we all look forward to a New Year of many anti-whines.

See you next week, when the delightful Redzils will host!

Monday, December 19, 2011

All the kitties were snuggled together on the couch...

Yes, also the stockings are hung by the chimney with care, and etc. My cats are celebrating that quiet time before the influx of residents late tomorrow, and they are bonded together in the front room because That Dog might turn up again in the bedroom.

Junior Dog has apparently been stressed by the absence of her Master -- totally forgetting who exactly feeds her -- and she has orchestrated five (5) breakouts in 2 days. Your host, who is not the Dog Person or the Fence Person in this family, has collected the dog on all occasions, run several fence inspections, and employed a quantity of strategically-placed bungee cords and some spare fencing to correct the problem(s). Your host is also not above outright bribery of canines in the service of Not Losing The Beloved's Favorite Dog, which kinda ticks off the felines. Don't worry, the cats will find a way to thank me.

But in good news, my beloved and daughter will be home late tomorrow! Really, really late.

And another AW: I don't think I got poison oak during the fence repair adventure! Even though there is some up there.

Um, I have not quite gotten around to stashing things that should get out of the way before the big day with relatives. But on the up side, who cares? Oh, who am I kidding. This week will include several performances of me impersonating a house elf.

But the big AW is: this is going to be a nice holiday! No drama.

What's happening at your place?

Saturday, December 17, 2011

Late Late Late

Apologies for the seasonal procrastination disorder leading to these late awards!

Liz wins the Seven Dwarves Award, complaining that she was currently "Sleepy (sitting in training), Dopey (forgot where I parked my car, see training), Sneezy (allergies), Happy (kitchen success), Grumpy (get your stuff off my place at the table! You promised you'd stop doing that), Bashful (sorry I yelled at you, Hon), and Doc (I apply a terrific band-aid)." Cranky joined the crew later.

You Go Girl Award to Sarah, who is maintaining some cheeriness despite the divorce, which is kinda disconcerting to the soon-to-be-ex.

Art Mom Award to Days, who had some fun crafty time with the little one while the other kids were off doing their things. Jealous!

The Jinx Award goes to Esperanza, whose mention of accident-free days led to -- you guessed it.

Sue wins the Best Antiwhine Award, for her report of a parishioner recovering well from a stroke; the twinkle in the eye has returned!

Esperanza wins the Holiday Miracle Award, as they got several cute photos in only one hour of posing! And the sitting fee waived!

The Good Housekeeping Award goes to Liz, for her fabulous suggestion about preparing for holiday guests: "Stock up on good food and beverages and then set up candles and Christmas lights. Turn off the overheads. Boom. Instant clean house."

The Avoiding Family Angst Award belongs to Sue, who anti-whined of missing a party at the home of the most annoying individual in the family tree. Unfortunately, we do not recommend the reason -- migraine + more with the post-concussion. Wishing a good recovery on both, Sue.

Sarah wins the Weather Anti-Whine Award: No snow yet! In Wisconsin! White Christmas is pretty, but there is only so much winter a person needs each year.

The Chatterbox Award goes to Esperanza's Mini, who is celebrating her mastery of teh spoken word by practicing about 39 hours per day!

Thanks for playing!

Monday, December 12, 2011

Rockin' the Season

Just a sampling of home-made ornaments from years past...

AW: We got the tree! A great deal of cleaning and decorating has happened in the public sectors of the household. Ho ho ho!

AW: If you are not following Liz's blog, run on over for some seasonal musical festivity of all stripes! Liz is stylin', big time. It is impossible to sample her selections without finding joy and smiles -- impossible, I tell you!

W: The adventures of SIL continue. Sigh. Fireplacity fireplace.

AW: I heart the US postal service! And cookies! Photos of babies, kittens, and puppies! The way our junior dog makes my beloved smile, even when she tracks mud in. The wild happy cat madness resulting from having a Big! Tree! in the living room. All the sweet sweet memories wrapped up in our eclectic collection of decorations.

Big AW: And, daughter will be home on the 20th! And she has a lead on a great job at a museum-y place!!

Bring 'em on, Pixies -- the whines and anti-whines, small and big; stylish, old skool; silly or serious. I hereby decree that if the house-elf does not thoroughly clean your house to exacting standards, you may pretend that he/she did and call it a day.

ETA 12/15: Blogspot is apparently having some issues. Sue reports lost comments yesterday, and I couldn't pull up the comment box earlier today. Whining will remain open, in the hope that these problems will get fixed. Calling out the Posse, 'cause this is not right.

Saturday, December 10, 2011

Slower Than Christmas Awards Post

We're back from our mini-vacation, and it was wonderful. And the Baboos had a good time with Favorite Babysitter, and Favorite Babysitter had fun with the Baboos. Yay! And there were no Potty Accidents OR Potty On-Purposes. Yay! Yay! Yay!

I am sad to say that there is a cascade (ew, sorry) of Bark Awards this week, animal and human divisions. kathy a.'s cat, Sue's little kitty, and Liz's poor carsick son (he and you both have my carsick sympathies. And the wet leaves--I'm in awe). And Sue, unfortunately still winning Bark Awards--quick healing vibes to you.

Liz receives the Old Skool Award for the AWOL walking partner.

Sue gets the Mullet this week, just because I have said the same thing myself, and this cracked me up: I'm thinking of going into the kitchen here at the church to make coffee, but I don't know how to use the machine. (Some things are just better NOT to know, trust me). Yep. I've only ever been asked to make coffee once per church.

Days is heading up the Cluestick Posse this week, because this woman has some very wise perspective. Grumpy relatives, Sue's headache/nausea, difficult husbands, hormone balls, children who voluntarily wake up to play video games: You are on notice. And Days, hopefully wielding cluesticks will give you some much needed energy, post-crash.

kathy a., I'm not sure if your sister-in-law needs a cluestick or what. But peaceful thoughts to you and all who are dealing with her.

Many hugs and sympathetic shoulders to Sarah at ratatat and to ThanksgivingAnon.

Rejoicing for stable disease, partners who decorate for Christmas, afternoons off, insurance companies who cover necessary procedures, house elves, and COOKIES!!

Monday, December 5, 2011

In Over My Head Whining

Anyone else feeling a teensy bit overwhelmed? Bit off more than you can chew? I'd go on but I can't think of any other cliches. Feel free to add some of your own.

My particular trouble is the sewing projects. I finished matching dresses for the Baboos, and they do look adorable in them. I still have on my list: a hat, three sets of pj's, a spa towel wrap and probably something else I'm forgetting. I keep thinking of things I want to sew, because it beats shopping, hands down.

What's your favorite way to be overwhelmed?

Huge AW: meeting up with friends overnight on Friday in near-ish Big City to celebrate the wife's birthday. Leaving the Baboos at home with their favorite sitter. Win-win-win-win!

Whines? Antiwhines? Cluesticks needed? Angling for an award? Bring 'em all, pixies.

Edited to add the picture...made the smallest size but still too big. You can see the dresses, but it's not a great photo of the Baboos. Not an easy feat.

Friday, December 2, 2011


Esperanza wins "Bringing the Bodily Fluids" award with her potty-training woes. On the plus side, her daughter is wicked smart.

Amy wins Elevated Risk of Mullet with this Anti-Whine:
AW: at least I shouldn't have to mop my floor again before Christmas.
Because that, there? That just says it all.

Jen R wins the Brevity award for
Tired and no breaks in sight. :-(

And Sue wins for Style because Fab-You-Luss HAIRCUT!! And good chatting! WOOT! I do hope the ringing in the ears goes away pronto, my dear.

Sending out the pre-emptive Cluestick Posse to the Sue's dad's professional College in the hopes that it will keep them from forcing his retirement. Not all 80-year-olds are unable to continue in their very necessary work, and I hope that the College will give a favorable assessment to Sue's dad!!

Sending out the regular Cluestick Posse to Sue's Presbytery Executive for giving her a hard time about her upcoming (and badly needed) sabbatical.

Cursing the Universe for the existence of fireplacing Cancer, and the fact that little children can get it, and that happy quilts can't cure it (though they make some of it easier to bear).

And sending hugs and love to Kathy A, who has to deal with a legally, mentally, and personalitily (is that a word?) troubled sister-in-law.

KLee basically summed it up with this gem:
Ugh. Just got back off Thanksgiving Break, and already looking forward to Christmas Break. Oy.

Which brings us to this gem by Tom Lehrer (always handy with the perfect song for the occasion):

Which reminds me that I'm doing Twenty-five Songs for the December Holidays over at MysteryMommy. One song every day through Christmas. Including a recent Hanukkah one from Mr. Lehrer, who is still alive and kicking, but not recording or touring, darn it.

And that's it for this week!