Monday, December 5, 2011

In Over My Head Whining

Anyone else feeling a teensy bit overwhelmed? Bit off more than you can chew? I'd go on but I can't think of any other cliches. Feel free to add some of your own.

My particular trouble is the sewing projects. I finished matching dresses for the Baboos, and they do look adorable in them. I still have on my list: a hat, three sets of pj's, a spa towel wrap and probably something else I'm forgetting. I keep thinking of things I want to sew, because it beats shopping, hands down.

What's your favorite way to be overwhelmed?

Huge AW: meeting up with friends overnight on Friday in near-ish Big City to celebrate the wife's birthday. Leaving the Baboos at home with their favorite sitter. Win-win-win-win!

Whines? Antiwhines? Cluesticks needed? Angling for an award? Bring 'em all, pixies.

Edited to add the picture...made the smallest size but still too big. You can see the dresses, but it's not a great photo of the Baboos. Not an easy feat.


kathy a. said...

that's a lot of sewing! but wonderful projects all. photo of the baboo dresses???

yay! for the friend meetup!! and favorite sitters!

W: overwhelmed, yes. behind in work. hardly a hint of christmas planning yet, much less decor and the dreaded cleaning for the season. and i guess all that has to happen next weekend, oy!

AW: my second cousin dragged me out for a tad of shopping in nice shops out her way, catch-up, and a good lunch. fun! she said she felt duty-bound to get me in the seasonal mood!

W: so, i cranked it up well enough to find snowflake coasters, cute napkins, designer festive catnip mice, a calendar, and some stocking stuffers.

AW: so, um, shopping for the cats is covered.

Sarah at ratatat said...

Hi Pixies,

Each week I think of you and I am a little chicken to come back. I wish i was pulling for Old Skool, but not my luck. While no paperwork has been filed, it looks like my husband and I can't pull it back together and we're getting a divorce. This summer sort of spun out of control - he has some issues going on that he would be v angry with me for even hinting at. And I have my own issues and mistakes and choices that seemed right...

I am alive. The celiac's settled down when I stopped eating gluten and we started admitting this was more than just 2 months of fighting 2-3 hours a days. I am job hunting because we'll need more money to support an apartment.

I am stuck on laughing instead of crying. That dark laughter. I hope my calmness doesn't offend.

Oy for the Christmas season.

Hang in there.

esperanza said...


So sorry for all that has come before. Whine away, friend.

liz said...


kathy a. said...

oh, ((( sarah ))). xoxo

Days said...


Sarah at ratatat said...

Thanks for the support. Is it crazy that having some nice Internet love makes me tear up but I just can't cry (much) otherwise?

Sue said...

(((Sarah))) I'm so sorry. Whine away indeed...

JenR said...

Oh my Sarah, I'm so sorry. I'm here for you any time.

liz said...

Minor whine: My walking partner is too swamped with work to walk today. I do not want to walk by myself. WAHH!!!

kathy a. said...

sarah, whine away. much love for you! these have been some bad months; must have felt so devastating and horrible. but you are a good person, don't forget that!

you didn't ask for advice, but i'm butting in with some, anyway. consult a lawyer, so you know the laws and practices in your state, and can make informed decisions. a lawyer does not mean duking it out in court; most divorce cases end in an agreement. but it needs to be an agreement that is fair to you and the kids. xoxoxoxoxo

kathy a. said...

esperanza, the baboos and their dresses are CUTE!

liz for old skool.

AW: got my makings for the cookie exchange! and -- drum roll, please -- i will actually send cards this year, and made address labels even. although, W: i'm sure i'm leaving people out. but AW: it's still better than trying to scrawl greetings to the people who remembered me on the 24th or so...

Elizabeth said...


Days said...

Lovely girls and lovely dresses, Esperanza!

A last-minute opportunity to escape NYC and join the extended family for Thanksgiving culminated in such animosity and rudeness from a certain in-law that I made my excuses to our (embarrassed and graciously understanding) hostess and took the kids back to the hotel for a lovely meal catered by room service. Lacking the energy to deal with her particular brand of nastiness, I am ashamed to admit that I high-handedly informed that his relative was not welcome to inflict her drama on our holiday season this year but thankfully he agrees. TBH I am feeling such a sense of relief to be avoiding the annual spewing of bitterness and ill-will from her that my holiday spirit has rebounded and the house is decorated, the shopping and wrapping is well underway and I am looking forward to the holidays again. Our whole little family is breathing easier. So. Equally rude but worth it.

Anonymous said...

Oh! Also, stable disease this round.

kathy a. said...

((( days ))) that is terrible, but GO YOU for escaping the toxic relative, and salvaging your own family's holiday! and for the breathing easier! this is so totally TOTALLY award-worthy. xoxo

and also, i'm assuming you are anonymous, and so yay for stability!

Sue said...

esperanza - the CUTE!!! So. Adorable.

kathy a. - cookies, cards, oh my!!!

Moi? Well, I did bring the box with the fake tree upstairs from the store room.

Good for you Days for not putting up with holiday family awfulness. I can almost hear that sigh of relief from here! And yay for the stable results!

W: One meeting down, another to go before I can head home. I am TEH TIRED. Ugh. Was awake most of the night with the ringing in the ear (still) and my new X-treme sport known as "I'm going to puke! Can I make it? Where's that fireplacing bucket anyway?" followed by tripping over the cat. Ya. Good times.

The worst part about the nausea is the volume of gravol needed to keep it at bay for the work day. Explains Teh Tired.

AW: I think this next meeting will be a short one, as the couple I'm meeting with are going to be as anxious to get home as I am.

Anonymous said...

((days, re the drama)), but YAY re the solution!
Cute cute dresses and girls!
:) Neighbor Lady

overwhelmed by the time of year.

KLee said...

Oh, Sarah. I am so sorry. Please don't EVER feel bad about whining here -- that's what this community was started for, especially when you feel like there's no other place that you can unload all that misery.

I'm sorry that you and your husband can't work things out, but sometimes that's just how things end up. Some marriages just run their course, and even though it's painful, it may be the best solution to safeguard everyone's sanity and well-being. Please accept my condolences on the loss of your marriage. I hope that you and your husband can remain amicable, and things can be split fairly and equitably.

Don't ever feel chicken about coming here. You may not always want to talk about things going on in your life, but we are ALWAYS here if you need us, and we won't pressure you. Also, please know that my email is available anytime that you need a sympathetic ear, or just someone to talk to. A work friend and I call ourselves "back off the ledge" buddies, so we know that we can talk if we need calming down or a shoulder to lean on. I know that I am willing to listen, anytime.

Anonymous said...

This is the whiner from Thanksgiving (husband threw two tantrums).

He refuses to get therapy for his explosive temper. I told him that there will come a day when I will have had enough and that I don't want that day to come.

I think I need to tell him that I need to see him working on it, either going to anger management classes, or otherwise VISIBLY working on it, because he doesn't recognize that I won't give him credit for the tantrums he doesn't have.

I only see the ones he does have. I also see that he doesn't have any plans in place for coping with his triggers.

How do I say this all to him?

kathy a. said...

anonymous -- one way is via family therapy, or couples therapy, or maybe pastoral counseling would work. it sounds like you need a neutral intermediary to convey that message about what help you really really think he needs. (and also that you are walking on eggshells, which isn't good).

anon -- can you please pick a pseudonym, any pseudonym, so we know when it is you speaking? you can do that with the name/url button.


esperanza said...

Days, when I grow up I want to be you. Life's too precious to spend it with icky relatives. And yippee! for stability.

Hugs to everyone else. Keep the whines coming. It's a humdinger of a week, no?

Sue said...

I nominate Esperanza for The Yoda Award for her wisdom - "Life's too precious to spend it with icky relatives."

Also, so sorry Anon. I agree with kathy - a good couples counselor can be very helpful. The best are the ones you hear about from other people (as opposed to the phone book).

ThanksgivingAnon said...

Thank you, everyone. He is very determined NOT to go to a therapist.

I certainly will be going to one to discuss how to handle this, and to help me draw lines.

kathy a. said...

yay about getting your own therapist, thanksgiving anonymous!

cookies for the swap are baked and all packed up. i hope they arrive intact and tasty!

Sue said...

AW: The boxes of Christmas decorations, and the little tree, were all out of the boxes and displayed beautifully when I (finally) arrived home last night. Yay!!

There is a good chance that I would have stepped around those boxes until somewhere near the 24th of December.

AW: I am slightly less of a pukette today. Excellent.

Thanksgiving Anon - good for you for looking after what you need at such a terrible time, regardless of whether or not he is willing to go to therapy. Stay strong....

kathy a. said...

sue, glad you are feeling better, and that the decorating fairy came to your house!

i'd like to nominate my senior cat for the bark olympics. she launched one from the top of a filing cabinet, also hitting the windowsill, wall, and a map on the side of the cabinet. round 2 was a direct hit on an in-service legal pad on my desk. must. locate. hairball. remedy.

esperanza said...

ew, ew, ew.

kathy a. said...

thank you, thank you.

Sue said...

kathy's cat wins for best bark of the week for sure. Our little kitteh's most recent "contribution" was on the kitchen floor. Very easy clean-up. Hardly worth the kitteh effort. Srsly. She generally goes for the teeny area rug in the condo, or the bedspread.

Kitchen floor kat bark - a Christmas miracle.

liz said...

Sue for Mullet!!

Days, I'm inspired by your stance on the mean relative. And I'm so happy that you are stable!

((TGA)) Get yourself into counseling even if he won't go.

Kathy A, cat bark is nasty.

liz said...

Did I forget to tell you all about the bark incident in the car on my way to my mom's for Thanksgiving?

Not quite 10 miles away from my mom's house, after 6-plus hours on the road, Muffin Man hurls up the Chicken n Dumplin's he had for lunch at The Cracker Barrel.

It got all over everything in the car (but fortunately not the upholstery). We pulled over to the side of the road and I used wet leaves to clean up most of it.

When we arrived at my mom's, we didn't even pause to kiss them before we stripped MM and I of all our clothes and put the clothes and some other things that had been barked on into the wash, and got MM into his pj's, and me into clean clothes, and only THEN did we say hello.

I do NOT do well with bark.

kathy a. said...

liz, human bark is far nastier, not to mention more voluminous -- you win. and ack, in the car! and on YOU! ack, ick.

i'm sure your parents appreciated the sanitation procedures before the kissy-huggy.

amy said...

Oh my word, Liz for Pioneer Woman Award for the use of wet leaves to clean a barky kid!

KLee said...

Please don't let me kill my 15-year-old. She is right now madly texting her boyfriend about what a witch I am for calling her on her nasty attitude. I am retaliating in teenage fashion by madly typing to Pixies about it.

Let me breathe a minute, and calm down.......

Okay. The urge to kill is subsiding.

Most of the time, she's a wonderful kid. Then, there are times like these, when I am forcibly reminded that she is one large, heaving, throbbing hormone ball, and I want to hurl her into the sun. That usually only lasts about 30 minutes, tops. I see today being a day where we retreat to our own bedrooms to regroup.

I hate teenage drama. Just wanted you all to know.

kathy a. said...

KLee, breathing deeply in a space apart from any hormonal teen is good. the goal is to get them to legal adulthood, so hang on to that if all else fails. but mostly, they are great kids with potential, and this is just the bumpy time. happens in most families, even if you don't hear details. xoxo

i remember feeling so abandoned, around the time my kids were in high school, because the worldwide parental support network that went so well when the babes were young frazzled out, to a large extent. part of it was that i didn't see the same people any more, not so regularly; and part because the kids were more independent. sigh.

esperanza said...

KLee, a bedroom retreat sounds in order.

The rest of you with your bark stories can just cool it. blech.

Days said...

Luckily for esperanza, it's been a bark free month thus far so no bark horror story here.

((KLee)) Hope you got your bedroom retreat or that you didn't need it after all. My oldest is just starting to become a "heaving, throbbing hormone ball," but I am already terrified of what teenagehood will be like with her.

((Thanksgiving Anon)) Kudos on the decision to see a therapist.

Much thanks for the encouragement on drawing the line with this relative. My hubs is graciously spear-heading the arranging of low-key visits with the rest of the family. The post-chemo crash really ramped up today.

liz said...

((Days)). Hoping the post-chemo crash ramps down quickly.

My son, my adorable sweet son, was UP. And DRESSED. And playing a video game. At. FOUR THIRTY this morning.

New house rule: Lights are OUT. Pajamas are ON. Games are OFF. Until 0600. This is a corollary to "You must be dressed to play DS."

Really, child, what the fireplacing fireplace are you doing up at 0430? Good God Almighty.

Sue said...

Oh Liz - human bark is definitely worse. I like the Pioneer Woman award for you this week. Or the McGyver Award. Or both!

And the 0430 thing makes me shudder.

KLee - good work on the deep breathing and bedroom retreat re: teenage drama. Been there. Done that.

Days - sorry about the post-chemo crash. Take good care of yourself.

W: I seem to have used up all of my brainz for the week. I left the house this morning without the following items, all of which I REALLY needed to take with me:
- sweater - my office is freezing cold. I'm wearing my winter coat right now.
- coffee - would have helped with the cold office AND my need to stay awake because, well, I'm at work. Also, that little bit of morning coffee helps take the edge off last night's headache.
- a book I need for today's work that isn't being done because I'm cold and cranky.
- forgot the earrings. Meh.

I should probably just go home and start over. I'm pretty sure my socks don't match either.

I'm thinking of going into the kitchen here at the church to make coffee, but I don't know how to use the machine. (Some things are just better NOT to know, trust me)

Also, our nice coffee ladies buy their coffee from the Crummy Pond Scum Coffee Company. It's pretty much undrinkable on Sundays, so I'm not sure I could do better. It may be time for a Timmy's run..... (Timmy's being our favourite Canadian coffee place - they'll hook me up in no time...)

liz said...

Sue, I think your plan of going home and starting over is a good one.

When you get there take off your shoes, check your socks, and put your feet UP for five minutes. Mebbe even close your eyes.

Then get your good coffee, your book, your earrings, and your sweater and head on back. Or take the day. You're still recovering and God knows you are owed the time.

Sue said...

Could we have a show of hands? All in favour of this excellent suggestion by Liz.

And the motion is carried.

Woohoo! I just gave myself the afternoon off. Ok, Liz did. Either way, I'm outta here.....

liz said...


esperanza said...

I would like my "aye" vote registered, please, Sue.

Can I have the afternoon off too? No? Crap.

kathy a. said...

yes, i'm in favor, too!

we need to get find a way for esperanza to get a much needed break day, too. (... hunting for magic wand...)

i assume this is a group whine, but i'm feeling a tad overwhelmed by all the worthy causes who think i need to give them money, and lots of it, right NOW. do i want world peace, an end to hunger, to protect civil rights, vaccinations and treatment for those in need, puppies and kittens, mental health care, shelter & dignity for those with less, and to oppose all manner of hideous things? YES. i feel like kind of a skunk, tearing up almost all of those appeals and sending them to recycling, along with all the catalogs of fabulous things to buy, and the credit card offers, and the upgrades i don't need, and etc. bah humbug.

liz said...

I'm with you, Kathy A.

My strategy is not to donate to charities at this time of year and to pick a few charities I'll give to at other times of the year.

This year, it's WAMU (public radio), Heifer International (US locale), Doctors W/O Borders (US locale), NARAL Pro-choice VA, the church we attend, and the local food pantry. And that's it.

liz said...

There's a shooting incident in progress at Virginia Tech. Two dead. One is a police officer who apparently confronted the shooter in a routine traffic stop.

Shooter still at large.

kathy a. said...

oh, dear lord, liz. sending big PEACE thoughts out to the entire world, and especially there.

esperanza said...

Merciful thoughts to VA Tech.

And not to make light of it, but it is the Potty "Accident" Olympics around here today. More like the Potty "On Purpose" Olympics.

Tomorrow's escape cannot come soon enough. I heart the babysitter.

esperanza said...

uh, and on that note, don't expect awards till Saturday evening some time. Whine on, pixies.

Sue said...

Oh no, not another shooting. Sending PEACE in every way to all affected by such a tragedy.

AW: I have another appointment for botox (medicinal, not wrinkle-removal) for my nerve block injections as headache treatment.

AW: It's in January, which isn't that far away.

AW: OHIP - our Provincial Health provider now covers Botox for headache treatment. *Let the happy dance begin* Yay Ontario!!!

liz said...


Days said...

Yay Sue! And yay for babysitters and escapes from the Potty Olympics.

kathy a. said...

oh, boy. 2 more crazy calls from SIL. then a call to her first ex, who reportedly talks to her almost every day but did not know several significant things she was saying. ho ho ho. we have an agreement in principle about staying in touch.

she is complaining [not one of the big complaints; this came later] that he promised her a house elf, and where is the elf? and he sees this as a breakthrough, that she admits she needs help! i'll tell you, that man sees a silver lining anywhere. so, here's to my first ex-bro-in-law, who really should have never looked back, but is a mensch.

liz said...


I came home from work today and what to my wondering eyes should appear but a box of holiday cookies and a pretty card!!!

Thanks, Kathy and KLee!

kathy a. said...

hopefully the cookies did not arrive crumpled. :)

liz said...

They arrived in perfect condition and are DELICIOUS.

Sue said...


Hooray for cookies!!!!!