Friday, December 31, 2010

Happy 2011!

This week's awards are brought to you by a Brand! New! Year!, coming soon to your location. Or, you can just pick a handy time zone and start celebrating now!

The coveted Elevated Risk of Mullet Award goes to Sarah, celebrating 17 years since she began dating her beloved, for her fabulous anit-whine: there was no facebook then, which considerably cut down on the general busy-bodiness regarding the circumstances of the romance. Brilliant!

Techie of the Week Award to Sue, for embarking on that long journey toward figuring out her New! Free! Camera! I don't see why these gadgets don't come with a permanently attached cheat sheet; the manuals always seem to drop into a black hole before I figure out that the features may be intuitive to a martian, but they are not intuitive to me.

Good Career Vibes to the fabulous Redzils, who is wondering what she will be when she "grows up," since this job hasn't proven to be the land of milk and honey. Best to all Pixies who share the quest, including Emily and Sarah, and thanks to Liz and Sarah for words of wisdom.

Pot of Gold at the End of the Rainbow Awards to Name Under Development, in two divisions: [1] Occupational, for landing a full-time job offer, top salary! and [2] Parental, for her excellent anti-whine about daughters returning home for the holidays: "All three girls have become women I’m proud to know and love—not every parent can say that."

Perspective Award to Sue, for handling a tragic and thorny situation with her usual good grace. Thoughts for you, the family, and all who are affected by this sudden and untimely death.

Raising a toast to all the Pixies as we leave this year behind and embark on the new one! May illnesses and sorrows resolve; may our families be well, work be manageable, and households achieve cleanliness, order, and basic hygeine standards; may happiness find us, at least a little bit every day; and may something really fantabulous happen every so often. Cheers!

(Yeah, the chances of my particular house achieving order, or the pook and bark disappearing, are about zipperino. It would be no fun if all the whines went away, no?)

ETA awards for NUD's wonderful, late-breaking antiwhines.

Monday, December 27, 2010

Ring Out the Old, Bring On the New

Welcome, Pixies, to the last edition of 2010! What stands out for you about this past year? Or decade? What are your hopes for the coming year?

Remember Y2K? I'll nominate that for the top non-catastrophe of the last 10 years. Another decadal event: Saturday was 30 years since I met my beloved. That's a big round number, suggesting a certain amount of ancientness, but we're still having fun.

There are things about 2010 that I won't mind leaving behind. Rough year economically and politically; rough times for many Pixies and other friends. An unbloggable family drama stretched over nearly the entire year, but is finally, thankfully over.

The biggest anti-whine is that my kids are doing well, moving forward, happy. We had a very exciting time visiting daughter when she was in Japan. And this coming year, she'll graduate college and discover whatever it is she will do next.

What's on your mind as you review the old year and look forward to the new?

Friday, December 24, 2010

Almost the Night Before Christmas...

It's time to pass the cookies and eggnog, and review the Pixie Motto: This Too Shall Pass.

Old Skool Award to Liz, whose husband does the laundry and then stashes it somewhere, without telling her it's ready to be folded, and she discovers it is done only when the underwear drawer is empty. Who can't relate to a little laundry whineage?

The coveted Elevated Risk of Mullet Award goes to Sue, for "I could have been talking to the meatballs in the slow cooker," describing the conversation with a future [and future ex] in-law. As for her stepsister, the Cluestick Posse shall be accompanied by a number of elves and several volunteer reindeer.

By popular acclaim, Days wins the Bodily Fluids Award, Pet Division, for her extremely classic whine: "Cat bark on my pillow; dog pee in my laundry basket. That is all." Such a stylish entry!

Lots of competition for the Bodily Fluids Award, Human Division, which goes to Liz (on behalf of MM), Sue (on behalf of Hubby), and Neighbor Lady (on behalf of Neighbor Boy), all regarding nosebleeds -- who knew they were contagious? -- and Esperanza (on behalf of Sweet Baboo), with 5 days of the messy product of a digestive upset. Eww. These awards include festive bottles of bleach.

Wonders of Antibiotics Awards to those in need, including Esperanza's Sweet Baboo and Amy's Tater. Oy, ear infections.

Belated Happy Birthday to Purple Kangaroo! And a Dishwasher Award; there's been a lot of that going around recently. Ugh.

Bah Humbug Award to KLee, who suffers the trifecta of sickness, an unhelpful doctor, and a grumpy hubby. Hoping the bug disappears, obviating the need for the second, and the Posse will be by with some cheerfulness cluesticks for Mr. Grinch.

Most Stylish Comment Award to Liz, for hers beginning with "Oh, for the love of fuzzy ducklings."

Best Anti-Whine Awards to Sue, for Skyping the church cantata, and the holy massage; Sarah, who now has "the internet in my pocket"; PK for her fabulous hair; NL on the dedication of new worship space at her temple; and JenR for projecting "mostly" readiness.

The "We Couldn't Do That" Award to Esperanza, for assembling the big gift for the Baboos without cussing.

Thinking of Friends Awards to YT and Gary, whose friendship and classic entries of the past continue to grace and inspire us.

Much love to Neighbor Lady, whose family lost 2 grandparents in 2 weeks; Sue, whose hubby had a scary blood sugar event; and Liz, whose sister was diagnosed with the fireplacing cancer. Fingers crossed, Liz, and all good wishes that this is easily treated. xoxoxo

Here's hoping that everyone celebrating this weekend has a lovely time! Barring that, a good story. Consider this an open thread for the W's and AW's of the season.

Sunday, December 19, 2010

Working the Seasonal Spirit!

Obviously, this time of year there is an ongoing need for whinage. So, let 'er rip!

There will [as always] be prizes [as deserved] for Old Skool, Style, Elevated Risk of Mullet, Bodily Fluids, Additions to the Lexicon, parenting, mechanicals, relatives, weather, and whatever else occurs.

Thursday, December 16, 2010

It's the Most Stylish Time of the Year

Twas a week and a half before Christmas, and all through the land,
The Pixies were kvetching of things small and grand.
Of autos, and illness, and presents undelivered,
Of dishwashers, houseguests, and Santa visits a-quivered.

Without further ado, we are proud to celebrate the fabulous creativity of Pixies everywhere! Even in the face of holidays and other adversity! Passing the cookies -- thanks, Jeni!

The Style Award, Music Division (Sub-category, Holiday) goes to Jenevieve, for her whine of back pain. (Hat tip, Amy and Emily, who also notes, "true artists suffer for their work.") We are in awe of the musical genius despite said back pain, and hope you feel better soon!

One would not expect a lyrical ode to a child barking in the night, but our own Days wins the Bodily Fluids Award, Style Division. We are thankful that Pixie clothes-washers do not seem to be afflicted by the ailment strking dishwashers this week.

Scary Claus Award, Stylish Division, to Sarah, for a lovely twist on a traditional seasonal experience with the wee ones.

Dishwasher Stylin' Awards to Liz, with her verse submission about the broken doo-hickey on her tenant's washer (bravely fixed by hubby), and Esperanza, with her tongue-twister about the fireplacing broken door to the soap dish (bonus whine of living in a church-owned house). Emily is a runner-up, since the soap door thing forced her to buy a whole new washer -- boo.

Emily wins the Technical Writing Award for her fabulous (and stylish)Rules for Guests (and by guests, I mean family!) Helping in My House. (Thanks to Amy for the nomination!) As a public service, this should be posted everywhere.

Fancy Dress Award to Liz, the one who dressed for the office holiday party, and her son, who picked his very own fancy dress outfit for the theatre; and also to Days' son, whose only birthday wish was matching dog/owner sweaters! Awww.

Amy wins the Primal Scream Award, submitted in verse as well as a typographical rendition of said scream. She also wins the Mommy Sleuth Award for getting to the bottom of some bullying of her daughter, and lining up the trusted therapist. Cluesticks to the little bullies and their parental units.

Heartstopping Holiday Tragedy Award to JenR, whose Am@zon shipment of gifts was freaking LOST, and the replacement might be LATE. This is very disheartening to all Pixies who rely on the wonderfulness of last-minute shopping and shipping. The Posse intends some cluesticking here.

Read My Lips Award to Amy, for the annual struggle with the MIL who does not want to give her what she wants, which is practical stuff. I'm sure this rings a bell with other Pixies: the relative who decides it is festive and kind to give presents they like because let's face it, you don't know what's good for you. (This is how I ended up with 8 place settings of snowman dishes, useful for 4 weeks of the year at most, with a kitchen my MIL knows full well has no storage space, because she usually rearranges my drawers and cabinets when she is here.)

Big Hugs to KLee, for the whallop of grief delivered by a massively insensitive cartoon. NOTE to the World: the fireplacing cancer is not fireplacing funny, and the Cluestick Posse is setting out to pay anyone who thinks differently an extended visit.

A smaller cluesticking goes to Esperanza's husband, who responded to the stuff gone wrong by telling the bitsy kidlets to "take care of Mommy," and proceeded to walk out the door. Grr.

Sing It, Sister Award to Sue, for her concise, pithy, heartbreaking whine: "MS sucks." xoxox Sue also wins the Relative Complications Award for the holiday dinner out with her family, one of those complications being that none of their homes is accessible. And also, it is like a million degrees below zero there.

Sarah wins the Automotive Award this week for the triple-whammy of [a] a major part falling off the car, [b] taking a recently replaced part with it, and [c] the only existing replacement part is in Texas. But yay on the first day at the new job going well!

Condolances to all Pixies suffering this week from illness, sorrow, mechanical failure, mean people, family angst, work overload, insufficient festiveness, and crankiness.

Many thanks for the kind Pixie wishes this week.

Sunday, December 12, 2010

Style Week!

We be stylin', this
Week. So write your verse, or your
Song, and play along!

Seasonal whines and
Anti-whines also welcome,
As they always are.

We got a tree, at
Last. Who knows if decor will
Occur very soon....

ETA: Stylish whines are encouraged, but not required. :)

Thursday, December 9, 2010


Quite an exciting week here at Whiner's Central!

Old Skool Awards go to Liz, for the mealy apple; and Miranda, for the classic battle of deciding whether something needed is worth a trip to the ~shudder~ mall.

EWWWWW! Award to Esperanza, who recovered not one but two deceased ladybugs from Mini's mouth, and also found her inner Iron Mom when Sweet announced, from the bathtub she was sharing with the baby, and I quote: "Poo."

ICK! Award goes to Sue for bark through the nose. (Thanks to Esperanza for the nomination.)

The ER Adventure Award goes to Liz, whose boy is OK! Yay! But chest pains and a referral to the pediatric cardiologist are scary as heck, and not quality holiday entertainment. NOT.

Also not good holiday entertainment is being hit by a fireplacing car! KLee wins the Road Warrior Award, Pedestrian Division. Her assailant, and all of the other drivers practicing Extreme Shopping, win extended visits from the Cluestick Posse. Sheesh.

Best AntiWhine Award to Sarah, for "Aren't we glad we don't live in igloos? That's my AW of the day." Sarah also wins the Seasonal Spirit Award, noting that the snowy frosting on her landscape really helps!

Miranda wins a Parenting Triumph Award, for the joy of seeing her son blossom into a fine young man!

They Love You! Award to Sarah, whose notice to the old job is being interpreted as an offer to keep doing that job in a poorly paid consultant capacity. Heh! This award comes with some Quality Cluesticking, and the following festive holiday message: "Which part of 'I quit' is unclear to you?"

Holiday Photo Award to Days, whose son devotedly insisted on the family dog's presence for the family portrait, resulting in some excellent dog + son photos, and some pandemonium in the actual group shots. Oh, well -- at least the photos realistically depict family life? ;)

Hugs and a sigh of relief to Jenevieve, whose beloved's meds are finally kicking in! Jeni also wins the Bizarro World Award, for the cognitive dissonance of receiving a totally wonderful [and expensive] grandparental gift at the exact time her family is struggling with her long hours, and pay so grinchy that everything's a struggle.

Passing the chocolate all around, and warm beverage of your choice. Best to all the Pixies struggling with illnesses, overwork, financial situations, bodily fluids, relatives, shoppers and shopping malls, seasonal overload, the weather, and igloos.

Saturday, December 4, 2010

Where the heck did I put that seasonal spirit, anyway?

I know it's around here someplace, but while I look for it, here is a holiday diorama in an eggshell, made in art class in 1974, presented here in fuzzi-vision on last year's tree. The fact that my eggshell ornament has survived lo these many years gives me hope for finding the holiday spirit again this year.

An immediate cause of angst is that a relative went completely off in a couple of middle-of-the-night nastygrams. And pixies, my buttons were/are pushed big-time. But it's pretty much my fault for seeing if the sibs wanted to go in on something for our beloved aunt. Sigh.

So, upward and onward. Great exciting work stuff happening this entire week, and daughter will come home on Thursday. We're not doing any big presents, and the little fun ones are coming along. Tree next weekend. Fa la la.

How's it going where you live?

Friday, December 3, 2010

Awards! With Bonus Shopping Advice!

Check the whining thread for excellent international shopping advice! Cluesticks to all family members, friends, and giganto corporations who do not provide the means to transport necessary goods across borders.

By popular acclaim, the coveted Elevated Risk of Mullett Award goes to Days, for this gem (though technically more than one sentence, it is pure Mullett genius): This household is terrified of change. Changing the empty toilet roll, changing the empty milk bag, changing the dirty hand towels and dish towels, changing the water in the dog's dish or changing socks is apparently too frightening a task for anyone other than me to conquer.

JenR gets the Old Skool Award for her whine about jackets with too-tight, non-slidey sleeves. Oh, does that ever annoy. And thank you for whining an Old Skool whine that allows me to avoid the toilet paper roll controversy.

We have a tie for Style Awards this week, so we have two divisions:
Flutterbye gets the Style Award, Concise Division, for "AAAAGH." Enough said.
Style Award, Haiku Division to emily for her haiku couplet on--what else?--shopping!

Job-Related Antiwhine to Sarah at Ratatat for the new job (so sorry for the disappointed colleagues--clearly you are a prize!). Job-Related Whine to kathy a. for unbloggable, feet-dragging colleagues.

Prizes also to all seeking shampoo, dishwashers, cold remedies, couch cleansers, and toilet paper roll changers. Hugs to Days, whose Big C whines are always welcome, no matter the season. (Well, I mean I wish you didn't have them to whine, but if you do, we're here to listen).

May your candles stay lit, may your candies be sweet, may your shopping go well.

Tuesday, November 30, 2010

It's Beginning to Look a Lot Like...

...actually working during the holidays would keep me less busy than "not working."
...the Baboos are healthier, but that Sweet is not any happier. Major grumpiness during the initial physical therapy appointment today.
...Mama's grumpiness at said appointment *might* have been directly proportional to the amount of time it took to drive there and back (an hour each way). ambitions for the holiday craziness are not going to be met by my actual productivity. Eh, so what.

What's it looking like around your places, pixies?

And since we're (oh. Maybe I mean me) grumpy already, what's your least favorite holiday song?

ETA: Happy first night of Hanukkah to the Jewish pixies! (Did I spell that anywhere close to right?)


Everyone brought such wonderful food! And fabulous whines!

So, without further ado: The Mashed Veggies With a Side of Plague award goes to Esperanza, whose two children have 6 illnesses between them.

The I've Got Cranberry Sauce but Where's My Coffee Award goes to Miranda.

Sue wins the Best Recipe of All - A Good Marriage award. And also, the I Read Your Recipe Aloud Award for the gravy.

Sending out the Cluestick Posse to sort out various judgmental grannies. I am appalled that we're going to have to remind them that Unconditional Love is part of the job description.

Sending Zyrtec to Sarah at Ratatat, and BCP to Kathy A. I'm so sorry you've been sent back a year by the Thanksgiving visit of old Flo. She came to visit me, too, but I was expecting her.

Sending love and condolences to KLee's family for the loss of her beloved Aunt.

And finally, the best Anti-whine award to Sarah-at-ratatat, for getting the job! WOOT!

See you all back! or maybe tomorrow! When your host will be....Esperanza!

Saturday, November 20, 2010

Holiday Food & Whine Spectacular

Bring the holiday recipes you can't live without!

Tomorrow, I'll post up two: one for gravy and one for stuffing.

Don't forget to bring a bottle of beaujolais nouveau whine.

Thursday, November 18, 2010


Passing the fresh sourdough, brie, roasted garlic, and some pretty little truffles. We need to get in shape for WW's Holiday Food and Whine Festival, beginning right here on Saturday, and hosted by the fabulous Liz!

Madeleine got us off to a great start this week with her whine of "Dead bugs on windowsills." By popular demand, she wins the Old Skool Award.

The coveted Elevated Risk of Mullet Award goes to Amy, who's about to boot a third student from her class and laments, "egad -- I chose to teach college so I wouldn't have to deal with children."

Sue wins the Cupcake Liberation Award, for freeing some [we aren't counting] from the confines of the freezer, and carefully rearranging things so nobody would suspect. And still, those Tell-Tale Heart cupcakes kept calling to her.

Esperanza has earned an Award for Service Above and Beyond the Call of Duty, escorting the Baboos to the fancy-pants, out-of-town, not-kid-friendly, not-my-people wedding. She also wins the Best Anti-Whine Award for "Elmo had fun going in and out of the hotel safe." We're all glad things worked out for Elmo.

Sweet Sounds of Silence Award to Days, whose elder kids are spending their fall break in that most pleasant and rewarding of past-times, re-reading Harry Potter! Excellent!

The Cluestick Posse is paying a visit to Jenevieve's roommate (hubby's BFF), who thinks paying rent is "optional," and to the bosses who have her doing 24 hour shifts for the kind of pay that qualifies one for food stamps. Gah. Sending many hugs and hope that hubby's meds start working soon, too. And a big stack of virtual "free chai" coupons.

Esperanza and Jenevieve bring the Bodily Fluids this week, in the form of the wee ones [heh] deciding they no longer have a burning desire to be potty-trained. This too shall pass.

Crossed Fingers and Toes Awards for our own Sarah and Amy, who are both braving the interview process. This award comes with an abundant supply of chocolate, and an official WW recommendation.

Lullabye Awards to PK, Amy, Sue, and all others suffering from sleep deprivation.

Crime Watch Award to Madeleine, for her observation that bank fraud seems to be "epidemic." Hugs and good luck to Pixies so afflicted. Be alert! On the up side, banks and credit card companies seem to be good about fixing the problems. But it is a genuine pain to lose access to one's account while a new card is being issued.

Many thanks to Sue and Madeleine for setting me straight on Boxing Day traditions. A holiday where the food must be leftovers and the hostess is encouraged to stay in jammies sounds like our kind of holiday.

Sending official Pixie Healing Vibes to those suffering from various ailments, including but not limited to Tater in his recovery from surgery, Mini with her rash in a personal place, Sweet and her possible reflux, Jeni's sweetie, and Margalit. And also to our good friend Days, my son's neighbor, and everyone else dealing with the fireplacing cancer.

Holiday Spirit Awards to Sue, who reported the first snow and therefore the start of the season, to Amy, who provided an excellent seasonal video, and to Liz, who will host the Holiday Food and Whine Fest!

Monday, November 15, 2010

How is it mid-November, already?

Oy! No idea where the time goes, but it sure does fly by fast, with a gerbillion things waiting in the wings...

Tomorrow is my beloved's birthday, and his secret surprise "don't buy me a present" should arrive today. Maybe right now -- junior dog is practicing her professional skillz, barking at someone who wants to bring us something. Nope, just the evil mailman, delivering bills, credit card offers, and daughter's jury summons for her winter break.

Also, senior cat continues to pook in the tub. In antiwhines, it is a gorgeous day, but dark will come too early tonight. What's up by you?

Saturday, November 13, 2010

Awards: Weddings R (Not) Us

Quite a week in pixie land, though when isn't it? We don't like weddings this week, here at WW, despite the fact that they start with W.

Itchy Scratchy Award to liz. Sure, your head is healing, but darn! It itches! With our continuing well wishes for your recovery.

Fish Out Of Water Award to esperanza who is right this minute probably smiling through gritted teeth as she shepherds two Baboos through the Wedding of the Year.

Flu for Sue Award for . . . . Sue, of course. Ugh, flu before you could even get your shot, what a drag. And this one seems to really be dragging out. Glad to hear you are starting to feel a bit better.

Anti-whine But Not Anti-Climax Award to kathy a., who's dreaded family thing, though not dreadful, had some emotional effects anyway.

And also in contention for the Family Memories Award is Neighbor Lady. I hope your father is continuing to heal, and that you are too.

Magical Video Recorder Award for Sue, who needs to get back that Glee episode her step-mother ruined with family "chat." Also, the recorder is so magical it can erase the actual conversation that took place, thus resolving all family dilemmas!

Banks! Better Than Your Mattress? Award to Days. I hope the fraud recovery has gone well and you are able to buy groceries without borrowing from the kids again.

And It Gets Worse Award to PK, to be shared with her parents, who seem to be getting worked over by a major financial freight train of ridiculousness. While PK is also coping with the loss of beloved pets and the rigors of trying to protect the remaining ones.

Brevity Award to Jenevieve for this succinct summation:
Gahhhhhh my family gahhhhhh.

That is all.

Workin' the System, or, How the System Doesn't Work Award for margalit, for getting caught between the paperwork requirements and the privacy laws. Sigh. If only the world were rational. The Cluestick Posse will be visiting your pharmacy shortly.

Elevated Risk of Mullet Award to esperanza (hat tip to kathy a. for the nomination) for likening the Fancy Pants Wedding to a trip to the zoo, with a runner-up prize for Sarah, who suggested it would feel like visiting a different country!

Interview Awesomeness Awards to Sarah and amy. Wishing you both continued good news.

Pixies, sometimes I feel like the whiniest person on the planet, with very little truly to whine about, so thanks for being here and keeping me company. Onward toward next week, when kathy a. will be our intrepid host.

Tuesday, November 9, 2010

The Clocks, They are a Changin'

I went out yesterday for my third go at raking the leaves. (Seasonal whine: dear me, the sun is low when I leave to meet SG after school now! I was really enjoying the time change right up to that moment.)

I like to do a bit of raking every couple of weeks, because that way I can keep refilling the old trash barrels instead of using up the lifetime supply of leaf bags I bought at teh Costco. Feels more conservationist that way. Snuggly Girl is eager to help as long as she gets to jump in the pile mid-cleanup, and we've actually had enough for her to jump in all three times, so she's happy, at least until I start picking leaf bits out of her hair. I won't attempt leaf perfection, it's just too crazy-making. I am for volume reduction and don't-annoy-the-neighbors.

So in that spirit, I've borrowed an annoying pop tune, and I hear-by present for your ear-worm annoyance:

What Miley Cyrus would sing if she did her own yardwork:

There's always gonna be another leaf pile
Blowin' in from the neighbor's yard
I'm never gonna want to rake it
Getting every leaf is just too hard

Don't care about how neat the yard is
I'm too annoyed that it's dark at 5

It's the whiiiiiiiiiiine . . . .

Thursday, November 4, 2010

Awards: Election Hangover Edition

(with apologies to all Canadian pixies)

And, editor's note: I'm still having trouble with blogger and Internet Explorer. I can't leave comments for some reason. It could be entirely related to my computer, but there you have it.

Hugs and a hearty sigh of relief to Liz, for surviving a car accident relatively unscathed, and to JenR, for getting a negative on the test one most heartily wants that result.

Old Skool to kathya, for the ever-popular "but I don't have anything to wear" whine, especially good for deflecting the real angst: the dreaded family thing.

And we have a tie for Elevated Risk of Mullett: Sue, for her prediction, "this geiser of a head is going to lose brain matter" (unfortunately, this prediction seems to have come true), and to Flutterbye, for her thankfulness that her "spouse is stepping up and taking responsibility for his own pet product." May it last, Flutterbye.

Madeleine gets a "Tedium is So Much More Fun the Second Time Around" Award for her work woes.

Interview Schminterview Awards to Amy and Sarah R. Knock their socks off, pixies!

A shudder of sympathy and my future life flashing before my eyes for Amy, who had to help with a (additional shudder) craft project while simultaneously corraling a loose toddler.

New Car Shopping Vibes to Liz and to Miranda. Let us know what you choose.

Blessings to all whiny pixies this week. Stay tuned for next week, as we inch ever closer to the holiday whining season!

Edited to add: Hostess with the Mostest Award to Esperanza, who presided over a very busy week here at Whining Central. ~k.a.

Monday, November 1, 2010

Halloween Hangover Whining

Candy wrappers and costume flotsam and jetsam blowing down the street, tired grownups and kids. Yes, it's the day after Halloween! Time to whine!

Halloween was no picnic. Mini Baboo, STILL not over the snot from last week, woke up with a fever. On a Sunday, when both of her parents were preaching. Fever all day long. To the doctor this morning, chest x-ray, blood work, and....bronchitis, with antibiotics. Woo hoo. The Sweet Baboo has been grumpy as all get out because her antibiotics (for the suspected UTI) have messed up her digestive system, such that her little bum is sore, sore enough to wake her up at night. Doctor gave us some probiotics for that situation. She also decided that Halloween was a good day to skip her nap, and then crashed post-party, pre-trick-or-treating. No TOTing for either of the Baboos. And, we ran out of candy.

All that seemed whine worthy. Until my mom called this morning with news that my sister-in-law had lost her baby, at 14 weeks.

So, we have whines big and small at the esperanza household. What's going on in yours?

And if you have any leftover candy, we'd love some! By "candy" I mean "chocolate." Thanks.

Thursday, October 28, 2010

Valuable Prizes

This week's ceremony is brought to you by the letter G, for ghosts, goblins, and goop. May you celebrate Halloween this weekend with plenty of the former and none of the latter! We hardly ever get traffic since our house is a little out of the way, so passing the PB cups, whoppers, heath bars, almond joy, little packs of red vines, and other delicious treats. Somebody's got to eat them. :)

The Style Award goes to our beloved Yankee Transferred, for her poetic ode to the person who abused their affection and stole their money. How frustrating.

Sarah wins an Old Skool Award for her whine of schedule conflicts, a dinner with people she mostly doesn't know, and the classic "what to wear" dilemma. Fortunately, it all worked out! Except for the UTI that turned out to be boosting the discomfort. Feel better soon!

Amy also earns an Old Skool Award for her excellent whine of the kid who would not eat, which this time turned out to be justified since the food was inedible. We've all been there sometime or another...

At Madeleine's excellent suggestion, the Girl Scout Cookie Award (best sentence in an Anti-Whine) goes to Esperanza for "I am a tad less crabby than yesterday."

Emily wins the Life is Like a Fairy Tale Award, for her whine of on-the-job training: "My supervising teaching (for student teaching) is playing Goldilocks. Yesterday I was going *too* slow. Today, I went faster, which he said was *too* fast."

S'not Fair Award to Esperanza, who bemoans the snot as well as the snot-wiping on her shirt. Lexicon Medals to Liz, Sue, and others weighed in on alternative designations, offering boogies, boogers, snergles, and goop, depending on color and consistency of the substance, and possibly also family-of-origin traditions. Additional submissions are welcome, of course, since snot is one of those universal and enduring whines.

Liz whined of the anxiety following her team's cluesticking of the bad boss, but she wins the Grace Under Pressure Award for the anti-whine portion: "But the worst that can happen is I lose my job, so this is not terribly serious in the grand scheme of things." We are rooting for HR to do the right thing; the alternative is untenable.

Germies Be Gone! Award to Days, whose household infestation temporarily gets her off the hook for oncology followup. OY! Many hugs and good thoughts from all your Pixie friends. xoxo

Yes, You're a Grown-Up Award to Sue, whose church had a fabulous performance of the Laramie Project, suggesting that alternative worship can work really really well, and thus she anti-whines: "Anti-whine: Does admitting I was wrong mean I'm a grown up now? If not, that's okay...just wondering." Thumbs up all around!

We've Got Your Back Award to Flutterbye, who is struggling with seeing events through a new lens and finding they do not look good, not at all. We hope you can take a few days with your friend in similar circumstances, and are really glad you're getting spot-on information and support. Hugs and more hugs.

Much Love to Frustrated on Facebook. The tragic loss of her beloved brother was painful enough, but the emergence of the father who abandoned him is unbearable. Consider the deadbeat to be on the Cluestick Posse's rounds until he slinks back under the rock from whence he came.

More cluesticks to the forces of frustration at Sue's work.

Valient Survivors of the Disappointing Election Awards to our friends Sue, Madeleine and Days. We'll see how next week goes in the U.S., because other Pixies may be joining you on the podium, with sadness.

Many hugs to Jenevieve, whose friends lost their twins at 20 weeks. So terribly sad. xoxo

Thanks for playing! See you next week when the brilliant Esperanza will host!

Sunday, October 24, 2010

Whine, dooby-do, Whine Whine

Hey, Pixies! It's raining, so why not break out the whinefest early?

There is a great deal of regional pride since one of the local teams is going to the World Series! I have the lowest interest in sports of any human still capable of respiration, but it's hard not to feel a little excited anyway, on behalf of ecstatic family and friends.

In whines, a little pook, a little bark, some work stuff, little bit of the blues, lingering crabbiness over an upcoming event. I'm sure you can do better than that.

Antiwhines: Friday, I got to talk separately with 4 colleagues I've known forever, about 2 separate projects, and it was good! The new book club chose a book I suggested, after an old-timer declared it very good. I weasled out of a dreaded deep tooth-cleaning (which is highly irresponsible, but made me happy).

What's the tune of things for you?

Thursday, October 21, 2010

Sparkly Powder for Everyone!

And chocolate! What a week, eh?

Old Skool Award to Sarah, desperately seeking an excuse to miss the "opportunity" to visit recess immediately following her classroom volunteer stint.

Elevated Risk of Mullet Award to Esperanza, who inquired whether happy-looking mothers shopping at the mall were on drugs, and if so, where could she get some? And also, in relation to another issue, for "Good thing God loves them, because they sure make it hard for the rest of us."

Review of the Week Award to Liz, who is appalled, appalled I tell you, by Glee's interpretation of the Rocky Horror Picture Show.

Immunity Booster Medals to all suffering from family illnesses this week, including Amy and Madeleine.

Itchy and Scratchy Award to PK; as further proof that no good deed goes unpunished, her generous offer to care for the pets of friends turned out to involve a massive flea infestation. Ack!

Million Errand Mom Award to Esperanza, who is struggling to find the entertainment value in dragging the Baboos hither and yon.

Queen of the Costumes Award to Days, whose children shall not want when the big holiday arrives. We're glad you're feeling better!

Perils of Social Media Award to Frustrated on Facebook, whose mother's ex, a person who abandoned his son and broke the son's heart, is trying to worm his way into favor with people who knew the son while he was alive. Awful. Many hugs, FoF.

Workplace Warrior Awards go to quite a few brave Pixies this week:

* Emily, whose student teaching plus class plus the usual at home is running her ragged.

* Sue, who has had it up to HERE with the board ignoring the need for accessibility. In the welcoming church. Despite the fact that many members, including Sue's own husband, require accessibility. The Cluestick Posse is saddled up. And oh, Sue -- three funerals in one week, so much sadness....

* Madeleine, juggling 4 overdue documents and 4 meetings with one sick little girl.

* Miranda, whose boss has to sign off on something but he never seems to make time for that project. The Posse shall visit him, too.

* Liz, who is also floating a resume, and whose boss' abusive behavior has now come to the attention of HR. Cluesticks en route.

* Jenevieve, who is working constantly, and did not even get backup for a terrible situation with a dangerous animal. Yet another stop for the Posse.

Thanks for playing! See you next week!

Sunday, October 17, 2010

Shake it, shake it, shake it up, Baby!

Anniversary of the Loma Prieta earthquake today. We were fine, but it was a big one. Amazing how vivid it remains.

My major whine is that I've been losing a lot of time reminiscing, and not always about good things. Maybe some of that is the change of season, shorter days. For sure, some is due to an upcoming forced-march family occasion. Know I'll get through it, but I really dread aspects of it. And no, I don't think I can bail on this one.

In antiwhines, this will be a busy week, but some Important Things will get crossed off the worry list, and I can feel like a competent grownup. Yay!

Weird whine: There is some lovely public open space on the hillside just behind our house, but a weird guy has been hanging out there. Yesterday, we saw him poking at gopher holes with a stick, about 50 feet behind the house -- very intently, and for a good while. Then an uphill neighbor (who knows our dogs from dog walks) came by to say she has seen the weird guy with a freaking bow and arrow in the past, and he was hiding in some brush nearby and acting, ya know, weird. I suggested that seeing a guy with a bow and arrow is worthy of a call to 911! We've got 2 schools right nearby, and lots of people hike and dog walk up there. Oy.

What's shaking out your way?

Friday, October 15, 2010

Prizes! Fire in the Hole Edition

Can I say that this is the third week in a row when I am just so thrilled to get to Friday night? I don't recall needing the weekends this much normally. I'll put it down to the combo of work insanity and temporary single parenting. But enough of my whining . . .

Ain't it the Truth Award to liz, for "too much work and not enough blogging time." We all miss the days when you were new on the job and didn't have much to do!

Battle Pay for Sue, who is taking on Bridezilla this weekend and breaking out teh non-traditional worship in a couple of weeks! Come whine with us when the Board says "We didn't mean THAT non-traditional." (Or am I too cynical?)

Battle Pay also goes to esperanza for courageous action in protecting the baboos from the ravages of other people's schedules.

Battle Pay for amy, too, for dealing with college students who act like six year olds.

Aaaaand . . . Battle Pay to liz for an extended fencing match in her comment section. Engarde!

If WW was a Gossip Blog Award to Sue, for sharing the important information that one of the miners had two women waiting for him . . .

Typo of the Week Award to esperanza, for "The coming-out drama is primarily with his work life. Family is affected by that, of curse."

Vertigo-A-Go-Go Award to Sue – hope the dizzies stay far, far away!

"Dahling, you are simply glowing!" Award to Days, and sooooo glad to hear you are no longer radioactive.

Well, That Was Weird Award to JenR, and thank goodness that stomach illness didn't last. (I'd say food poisoning, based on intensity and duration, but IANAD.)

Darn, Darn, Darn Award to kathy a., who has to resend a big pile of snail mail for lack of minor and universally known facts.

Big cheers for Anonymous, who is standing firm, standing tall, and standing her ground.

Pixies all have their fingers crossed for Sarah's job applications.

And most importantly, HAPPY BIRTHDAY Neighbor Lady, one day late! So glad you had a lovely birthday and I hope you are celebrating all weekend.

Tuesday, October 12, 2010

Why - why - why whines

Our carPod plays hundreds of songs in alphabetical order by song name. We're on the Ws, so we had a run of What -- When -- Where -- Who -- and of course Whyyyyyyyyyyy . . . .

So tonight I ask, if I am so tired of traveling, WHYYYYYYYY did I just sign up for two work trips on which I can take my daughter along? One is to visit Daddy and go to a conference near where he is sabbaticalling, and with my flight covered it's half price. The other is to one of my favorite cities, where Daddy has a conference the same week. It will end up being a bunch of hassle, but we'll see some good friends and eat good food and miss the last week of school before winter break. Enh, why not?

Dear me, I seem to have mislaid my mind.

Whyyyyyyyy are you whiney this week?

Thursday, October 7, 2010

The Brevity Awards

Pixies, there were many whines of substance this week. Unfortunately, a 13 hour work day combined with a three day family weekend out of town that starts tomorrow leaves very little time for proper awards.

Hooray for good doctors, good chocolate, asthma treatment plans, submitted job applications, and a good evil laugh reserved for the professional foibles of others.

Hugs for pixies taking wee ones on long trips, dealing with health issues, crappy work stress, sexist parishioners, and the blahs.

Come back next week when the always interesting Kathy A Madeleine takes over as host.

Tuesday, October 5, 2010

Whiny Whiny Whiny

When I signed up to helm our whiny brigadoon, I thought that all the managers would be at a delightful offsite meeting and I would have plenty of time to make refreshments, clean the place up a bit, and set out my best tableware.

Sadly, plans did not come to fruition. Pull up a chair. Share your delights and despairs. Pass around the homemade double chocolate layer cake I made for yesterday's lunch meeting. Hugs and cluesticks are at the ready.

Friday, October 1, 2010

Awards! What a Crazy Week Edition

Thank you, everyone, for keeping me company during this first week of absent-daddy and the ongoing insanity of the job that is loving me too much. It's good to have some grownups to talk to, even if you are all inside the computer.

Bon Voyage? Award to Sarah – enjoy your trip, as best you can, and I hope your friends show you a great time to make up for not having a HOUSE for you to STAY IN. Wow, I'm prickly on your behalf.

Mixed Emotions Award to esperanza, with hopes that the speech therapy works well and soon.

Allergies Can't Cramp My Style Award goin' out to Liz, for two weeks running of turning snot into poetry.

Creeping Crud of all Kinds Award to Amy, for colds plus fruit flies! Ugh. Are the kids old enough to enjoy making traps for you? (Bottle, paper cone, tape, vinegar/wine/fruit/honey water. Not in that order.)

Anti-Whine of the Week Award to A. Nonnie Moose, who not ONLY got the family drama over with, finally, but used the resulting inheritance to get an albatross off her neck. Hooray for paying off student loans!

We have a large corps of Pixies riding out tonight. Not only are we sending the Cluestick Posse to handle Anonymous' husband, we've also got the Legal Eagles, the Child Care Contingent, and the Animal Lovers League on tap. Wishing you all the best as you work through the repercussions of the news you didn't want to hear but maybe expected.

We'll also be delivering a newborn babe to every pixie for neck-sniffing. And then we'll take it back before it needs changing! How's that for a magical treat?

See you all again next week when Miranda will kick off the festivities!

Tuesday, September 28, 2010

Work Whines Trump All Today

This morning, my family is healthy if geographically distributed, and instead of my planned whine about the three illnesses in eight days that visited poor Snuggly Girl, and my nasty allergy attack (now subsided), and the husband who is out of town for two months, all I can do is whine about work. There's a lot! For several different "bosses"! And this morning, something that needed doing turned out to be urgent, and my password for the special site won't work.

It worked last week on a colleague's computer when his password wouldn't. We didn't figure out why his was failing, but mine worked and we got started. Now I need to download the stuff to a different computer and nothing, nada, no way to get in. I left a message for the client and I'm hoping she calls back before a different meeting I need to be in in 25 minutes, for a different project which has been neglected and is now urgent.

I try to maintain a healthy work-life balance, but this month both ends of the rope are pulling hard. I guess that keeps the balance steady, come to think of it. Hunh.

Share your whines and make mine seem insignificant! Or less funny! Or remind me that at least I don't have a pet that barks and pooks.

Thursday, September 23, 2010

No Frills Awards

Yep, still tired and busy, so the awards are as spiffy as the whining was.

Old Skool Whining Award to JenR, for the moving story of too many lights that are inexplicably off and on and off and on, when there is a perfectly good programmable timer right there.

Elevated Risk of Mullett Award to Liz, for the soon-to-become a classic, "engorged with snot." Unfortunately, we know just what you mean. Especially emily, who has the student teacher cold and Sue, with the snotty bride and groom to-be.

Style Award to Madeleine, for the talented hidden whine that involved--ew--lice. In her own daughter's hair. Lice always, always get an award from me. Ew.

Someday She'll be a Grownup Award to kathy a., for her daughter's growing pains involving apartments (aka rooms that aren't actually, you know, apartments), roommates, and middle-of-the-night phone calls that do not involve a dead body.

Introverts and Church Meetings Don't Mix Award to Sue, for the preparation, packing, travel, "socializing" and endurance of said meetings. Also, many hugs and sympathy to Sue's in-laws, who grieve the loss of the 80 year old in Hurricane Igor.

Congratulations, Your Doctor is Being a Doctor Award to Sarah at Ratatat, for eliciting a kind and helpful response from the doctor. Good thoughts for your daughter's medication calibration, too.

And more hugs and a nice, shiny Open Airways Award to amy and Tater, who had to take the drastic step of getting hospitalized just to get a good diagnosis and good medication.

Thanks for playing, and come back next week (except for you, A. Nonnie, are we bidding you farewell?)

Monday, September 20, 2010

No Frills Whining

Pixies, I am too tired to do anything in the least creative this week.

Baboos who tag-team waking up in the wee hours, mamas who stay up too late doing nothing on teh Internets, daddies who have meetings during go-to-bed time, serious appointments with the school district, preacher's-wifey things, etc.

In antiwhines, the Sweet Baboo *loves* preschool, and Mini Baboo is crawling. I think that last one is an antiwhine.

What's happening in your world?

Thursday, September 16, 2010

Awards: the Pre-Launch Edition

This week's ceremony is brought to you by the letter P, for Procrastination. In theory, daughter and dad will set out on the long drive to school. Daughter is currently asleep. Her clothing might be packed, but books and miscellaneous, not much. The entire floor of her room is still covered with stuff. She has no idea what she did with the contract for her apartment. Yay, us.

The coveted Elevated Risk of Mullet Award goes to Miranda, for her daughter's priceless rant on the hopelessness of everything:

"It doesn't matter what I do because I can't handle a simple little project with paper and crayons and gluing pictures so I am going to get straight F's and grow up and work at McDonalds and have a cat and live alone in a one room apartment. A one room apartment! Do you hear this?"

Old Skool Award, Fashion Division goes to Liz, for the combination of untended pits and sleeveless clothing.

Old Skool Award, Gourmet Division goes to Esperanza, who cooked too much oatmeal, and leftover oatmeal is yucky.

Old Skool Award, Interior Design Division goes to JenR, who longs for a clean house but will settle for less messy, and would hire someone except she would have to clean for the cleaner.

On the Road Again Award to Madeleine, with a Whoops! Laurel for the forgotten items.

Jumping Through the Hoops Award to Amy, who has finally rustled up enough letters of recommendation despite circumstances seriously limiting the pool of letter-writers. Go, Amy!

Nap Interrupted Award to Esperanza, whose Mini Baboo lost her nap mojo following the invasion of the relatives.

"My Name is Trouble" Award to Sue, for unbloggable unhappiness.

Slow Times Award to Sarah, who is trying to get up the motivation to go to work, but nothing is happening at work.

Best Antiwhine Award to Neighbor Lady, who still loves loves loves her job!

Condolences to everyone dealing with hormones, job stress, too much or too little to do, and frustrations of every kind. Thanks for playing!

Monday, September 13, 2010

Whine-tember Fest

Cranky! I'm so cranky!
I feel crabby and grouchy and blue...
Can't sleep at night,
Work's behind by a sight.
How 'bout you?

Daughter and her dad will begin the drive to her U on Thursday; I'll fly up Friday to help her get settled in the First Apartment, and supervise the hunting and gathering of household items. Tres exciting, no?! She has not started packing, or even started the mountain o' laundry. She has not finished unpacking from last year, and does not know where items she needs are located, unless you count the stuff covering her entire bedroom floor. Oh, well.

I'm particularly crabby because her visit from Auntie Flo resulted in some award-worthy PMS; and in other hormonal news, my hot-flash-o-meter has been stuck on the "broil" setting, accounting for the sleeplessness.

AW: Daughter and I had a great time at a big, fun annual street fair yesterday!

AW: Son and his lovely girlfriend came by yesterday, unexpectedly stayed for dinner; we rustled up approximately 3 times what we had planned for dinner, every bite was eaten. And he finally picked up the quilt I made for his neighbor, who just started chemo.

Passing tiny, tasty quiches. What's the news for you?

Saturday, September 11, 2010

Awards - Take Me Out To The Ballgame Edition

Take me out to the ball game
I had a very delightful time at the ballpark with Younger Son and Teen Daughter. They even allowed me to snap a picture of them together on the ballfield. I don't even like baseball but the whole night was perfect. I am feeling much less trepidation over their growing up.

Take me out with the crowds
Emily is getting ready to start her student teaching. Knock em dead!

Also, Emily, Amy, Liz and I humbly request an end to headaches and/or sustained lactation past the "still necessary" date.

Buy me some peanuts and Cracker Jacks
The Pixie Food Patrol was in full force this week, sharing cake and quesadillas and tequila and PESTO!!!! (I miss pesto but Teen Daughter's food allergies don't allow for it) along with esparanza's abundant leftovers. Who needs popcorn and cracker jack?

I don't care if I ever get back
Emily, that seems to have been the theme for your food this week. Here's hoping it defies gravity this next week.

So let's root, root, root for the home team
This was a time of beginnings - from the psychological start of fall to the start of the High Holy Days. Esparanza, I am also thinking of you and the Wee Baboo's on the rain drenched roads. Hope your trip is very uneventful.

Sue, we are glad that you can be there for your friend in this time of sorrow for her.

If they don't win it's a shame
Thinking of Amy as she prepares for her interview, Madeleine who is involved in a very befuddling product launch, and kathy a reading her daughter for another year away at university. Sending vibes of patience (and some virtual valium) to help this pass.

For it's one, two, three strikes you're out at the old ball game.
The Cluestick Posse will be heading to the spouse of Amy's teammate who needs repeated assistance understanding the true reason for charity fundraising. Hint: the IRS has absolutely nothing to do with it!

We have the Cluestick Posse and the ready for you, Sue, to deal with a certain subset cantankerous parishioners who pass judgment on homilies unheard.

We share kathy a's relief that she dodged a loathsome toad in her youth and instead found her Prince Charming with whom she has happily built a beautiful family and life.

Sending lots of real $ud@fed to Liz so that her green goop goes away pronto!

Thanks for playing. Come back next week (or, because this is so late, tomorrow) when the admirable kathy a helms the brigadoon.

Tuesday, September 7, 2010

Whines of Times, They Are A Changin'

I spent 12 years of my life either pregnant, nursing, or changing a baby's diaper. Those were the 12 hardest years of my life and I never would want to go back to that very dark place where I had three small ones hanging off of me and sucking the life out of me.

So why am I so weepy thinking of how today is the last First Day of School for Teen Son? He is a senior and a most wonderful young man. All I can think of is how our relationship will never be the same after this.

Today was also my last Walk A Child to the First Day of School. Next year, Younger Son will be taking a bus to a different school. He barely let me walk him to the door even though he was secretly glad I took a day off of work to do so.

The seasons are changing here. The weather is colder at night. I am no longer a young mother. Other aspects of my life are undergoing changes and I feel disoriented. Yet, just as fall gives way to winter so that spring may return, these endings will also lead to new beginnings.

So how are things in your world? Is everyone settling into new routines? Bring your whines, big or small, pithy or witty, along a tasty snack or two for this week's Whiners Ball.

Thursday, September 2, 2010

Awards: Passing the Chocolate

This week's ceremony is brought to you by the letters O, C, and D, proud sponsors of this week's featured pixie support group, Adult Children of Compulsive Silverware Arrangers. Honorary Co-Chairs of the group are Esperanza and Emily. The inspirational motto is, "We're just glad they haven't started in on the underwear drawers."

Neighbor Lady, Esperanza, and Sue join me in the Lost Check Club. I'm ever so grateful to not be the only one. Esperanza, hope the checkbook turns back up.

Back to School Awards to Neighbor Lady, Emily, and others similarly affected by the madness of the season.

The Fashion Don't Award goes to Emily, who presents Exhibit A, the jegging -- an unfortunate mutant cross between sausage casing and the denim look.

Style Award to Sue, for her back to work verses. We are particularly impressed with the prohibition on singing "Morning Has Broken" before full coffee effectiveness has been achieved.

Sue also wins the You Were Out of the Room When We Took the Vote Award, for discovering post-vacation that certain people have decided she should become Dynamic Woman, on account of that's easier than anyone else changing anything they do. This award comes with a super-hero cape, which you can wear while you ask exactly what they are trying to fix, and suggest alternatives that you are sure they will be happy to volunteer to do.

Best AntiWhine Award to Neighbor Lady: "antiwhine: love love love my new job! can't believe i get paid to do something i love so much." Congratulations!

Congratulations also to Sue, on the occasion of her 30th anniversary!

Liz was a contender for Old Skool with "HUNGRY. And I'm the cook." However, she won a much better prize, chicken and corn cooked by her beloved. Hope that headache goes away pronto.

Weary Road Warrior Award to Madeleine, for 3 work trips on 3 projects in 4 weeks.

Vacation, All I Ever Wanted Award to JenR, who has been drowning in the work, but has next week off! Go wild!

Thanks for playing! Join us next week, when the fabulous Miranda will host!

Monday, August 30, 2010

Sliding into September

Was your summer too long, or did it fly by incredibly fast? I'm wondering where mine went. Except for a couple of meltingly hot days, we had a lot of overcast and cold. The nice weather seems to have just arrived.

AW: An old friend just brought by 4 tickets to a major league baseball game, a gift to my son and his friends. Son is beside himself with this unexpected good fortune!

W: There's nothing like a friend dropping by to make one realize one's multiple housekeeping deficiencies.

AW: Daughter is home a couple more weeks, before heading off to the U again. She had a good visit with her grandma, is taking some saxophone lessons with her old teacher, is getting ready for school and the First Apartment.

W: She just slept through her dental appointment.

Unbloggable whines on the work front. I'm compensating with some extra sewing and reading for entertainment, which doesn't solve those problems but is emotional comfort food.

How are things for you?

Thursday, August 26, 2010

Menu: Awards Dinner

And on the menu for this evening, ladies and gents...awards!

Appetizer Course
Old Skool Award for Miranda's pajama work day that was nearly thwarted by the, you know, work left at the office.

Soup/Salad Course
Girl Scout Award to kathy a., for the duct tape and tablecloth solution to the picnic relocation.

Main Course
Done with Summer Award for all those suffering with heat and especially those without air conditioning.

Side Dishes
Teeny Tiny Furniture Still Takes Up Space, and so Does Paperwork Award to KLee.
Pants Shopping is Just One Step Above Bra Shopping Award to Madeleine and Snuggly Girl.
Take Advantage of Me? Take This! Award (and a hearty Welcome Back!) to the ever-stylish YT.
Sour Grapes Award to amy for Jerkboy's penny pinching with the donations.
Email Pontificating is Easy to Delete Award for Nonny's ongoing family drama.

Dessert Courses (because why shouldn't there be more than one dessert course? Who makes these rules?)
Mullet Award to Miranda for "Team InNOOOOvation"
Hugs to all 17 year olds, all who have 17 year olds, all who will be 17 year olds, and all who ever have been 17 year olds
And a Cherry on Top to Neighbor Lady for the latebreaking JOB!!!! antiwhine!

Additional hugs to all pixies, just for good measure, especially those whose whines I missed.

Monday, August 23, 2010

Party Whine at the Whine Party

Teh Weeks of Parties begin at the Esperanza household. And our introverted heroine is already weary, just thinking of Teh Parties. She has not yet recovered from Teh Family Visit, and now with the parties.

First up: Mini Baboo gets baptized on Sunday. Family (of the helpful variety) arrives Friday and Saturday. Invited for Sunday Dinner: 11 people, plus Sweet Baboo. Including Mr. E's "boss" who will do the baptism. Menu: Chicken Fajitas, beans, guacamole, salsa, etc. And Cheesecake Pie for dessert.

Next up: Mr. E turns 40 the next Sunday. Big party, previously whined about here, I believe. We're planning for 150 guests at an Open House. Menu: darned if I know. The giganto cake is ordered, but that's all I've really figured out. I'm open for suggestions, but I have some requirements: finger food, can require cooking but must be able to be served cold/room temp, and not fussy (like requiring individual assembly).

Maybe I will recover before Sweet Baboo turns 3 (!) on October 1.

The Whine Party is open, but you have to plan your own menu. Sorry, the hostess is already partied out.

Saturday, August 21, 2010

Awards! (Better Late than Never Edition)

Kathy A. wins the Lexicographer-in-Chief award for "Pookcidents". That there is a keeper.

KLee wins the Remembering What It's All About Award - with Oh No You Didn't clusters. We are sending out scalding hot beverages for you to hold over JF's valuables. Since he's already shown himself to be unimpressed by cluesticks.

The Cluestick Posse is going to be quite busy this week, heading out to A. Nonny Moose's relative and to Dr. Jerkface and Dr. Supervisor for making an already awful situation worse for Sue.

Best Whine/Antiwhine combo goes to Days for
AW: Lovely couple.
W: Dry wedding.

Days, we're sending you hugs and love, I hope that your energy returns and that things go well for you.

The What Does It Take award goes to our prodigal whiner, Scrivener, I really hope that you can get someone to type in their fireplacing password before the end of the fiscal year.

Elevated Risk of Mullet goes to Emily for
"Toddler Years 2--Adolescence: This Time It's Personal!"

Honorable mention goes to everyone who has lost loved bunnies, dealt with jealousy, forgotten a massage appointment, and otherwise had crappy stuff happen this week.

See you all in a few days when our host will be Esperanza!!

Monday, August 16, 2010

It's a Long, Hot Summer

This has been in my head for the last two weeks, though I like the original by Christine Lavin better, the video of her singing it live has a long rambling intro.

The A/C in my car is busted and has been for over a year. It's $800 to fix it and the car itself isn't worth much more than that. So I'm waiting out the Summer, and hoping that I don't collapse, Elphaba like, into a puddle of sweat before the cooler days of Autumn arrive.

I'd still rather be sweaty than freezing and I prefer my un-air-conditioned car to the meat-locker temperatures they keep the office building where I work at.

So I keep a sweater at my desk and wear skirts and sandals.

How are you braving the heat?

Thursday, August 12, 2010

Frozen Awards with Festive Little Paper Umbrellas

It's been one of those weeks, eh? So without further ado, on to the ceremony.

The Wardrobe Malfunction Award goes to Liz, who managed a trifecta: berry splatter on cream top; a bra failure so spectacular that duct tape was the recommended quick fix; and critical button poppage on today's blouse!

Liz also sweeps the Style Category with her work of genius, "I want a new bra." Brava!

Esperanza spun the Wheel of Fortune when her cellphone was accidentally soaked in an ice water incident, and ~click click click~ yay! The cellphone miraculously recovered! Bonus Stars for the associated antiwhine: that it was so darned hot, she didn't really mind being doused in ice water.

Positive Role Model Award to Jenevieve, who so impressed a teenager when she was tending to a porcine emergency that he wants to be a vet, just like her! We're so proud.

Would You Care to Rephrase That? Award to Esperanza, who was twice called "cute" in a professional capacity. Note to the Universe: "cute" is not a compliment outside the Theme Park Cartoon Character profession. Would you congratulate another person in Esperanza's profession for being "a major stud-muffin?" We did not think so.

This week's Meeting of Doom Award goes to the intrepid KLee, who apparently survived the festivities and therefore gets two (2) paper umbrellas.

Old Skool Award to Days, for her classic whine: "My kids are full of I'm bored and it's too hot and there's nothing to do, and s/he's bugging me, and gimme gimme gimme etc, ad nauseum and it's driving me up the walls." I'm sure she is not the only one looking forward to the start of school. Runner-up is Emily, who managed to put coffee grounds in the water part of the coffee maker, then had to clean it out without benefit of that much-needed first cup of coffee.

The Delicate Condition Award goes to Sarah on the occasion of a yeast infection, and profound wishes that the new meds clear things up.

A hearty Welcome Back to Madeleine, returned from travels and now dealing with all the stuff that people snuck onto her desk while she was away.

Go, Amy, Go Award to (you guessed it) Amy, who has raised the funds, done the practice miles, and is setting out on her breast cancer walk tomorrow! This award includes spare good sox, moleskin pads for any incipient blisters, and a supply of little paper umbrellas to tape to the side of all the water bottles. :)

Much love to Days, and the Cluestick Posse will be visiting the Powers That Be for a little tutorial in "deciding important stuff in a timely manner, so people do not need to keep worrying about that, too."

The worldwide band of Pixies is all set for the Cluesticking of the Week, a MAJOR event earned by Sue's jerkass of a doctor. Because, you know, a colonoscopy and its prep are not stressful and humiliating enough, so he also: administered an entirely different procedure on the upper end, of which she was not informed in advance; informed her of a bleeding ulcer in terms that blamed her; refused to understand that she meant it when the pain relief was not enough; rolled his eyes at her; conducted biopsies that seriously hurt because she really was not getting appropriate anesthesia; and just generally had the bedside manner of a kid who tears the wings off butterflies for fun. The only part of the entire ordeal that was vaguely amusing was when Sue's cat got jello on its nose, and in our unanimous opinion, that wasn't funny enough to make the rest tolerable.

Thanks to all for thoughts on my daughter and her adventures.

See you next week! Same bat-time, same bat-channel.

Sunday, August 8, 2010

Beach Party!

I need some beach music. 'Tis the season, right? Of course, the only surfing I've done (besides body surfing as a wee thing) is on ye olde intertubes. And the weather at my place has been foggy and cold for weeks -- no worries, I'm happy to share!

But anyway, I'm making a quilt for my friend, and other friends sent fabric -- and for the record, 3 aloha shirts plus a batik summer dress (plus plus plus) go a long way toward making a person long for some beach days, even if the person has bathing suit issues and burns to a crisp in record time.

My big antiwhine is, of course, that daughter came home from a year abroad yesterday! Her sleep schedule is pretty messed up; so far we see a little of her here and there, but in case of emergency, we might actually be able to do something when she is on the same continent. The cats are very curious about how her luggage smells, which makes me wonder what all is in there. Time will tell.

In whines, I am hopelessly distracted and not exactly cranking the work.

What's shakin' out your way?

Friday, August 6, 2010

The, "Oh, Crap -- is it Friday already?!?" Awards Edition

Sorry for the lateness of the Awards -- time crept up on me this week and Friday was pretty much over before I realized that I'd neglected to post them.

Miranda gets some sort of Glutton For Punishment Award for camping out of doors, and in tents no less, with teenagers. I shiver a little just thinking about it!

Amy gets a newly-minted "A Teacher's Work is Never Done" award for not only having to read poorly written and plagiarized papers, but having to grade them and turn them back into students as well. Kids think it's tough that they have these projects due, but they never consider that the teacher probably has 30 of them (at the least) to read, critique, and redistribute. A good reason to consider a career switch to kindergarten, Amy -- my homework is usually "Practice your spelling words by writing them 3 times each." Spelling is usually 5 words a week. Not a lot of room for plagiarism there, either.

Esperanza gets a Big Girl Panties award for potty-training the Sweet Baboo. May her panties be forever dry, and pook stay only in the potty! Toilet training, in my experience, has either been completely effortless -- as in, the child one day decides, I'm ready, and does it on their own; or as in the case of Offspring, headache inducing. The headaches resulted from my banging my head against the wall in frustration, and then mixing a cocktail to forget about how abysmally potty training was going. I hope Esperanza is headed for the former version, and not the latter.

Kathy A. gets an honorable mention in the Bodily Fluids category for the cat pook on the laptop. Ew. Thank god it was closed, and disaster was averted, but still. That's NOT the gift you want, and certainly when it's the gift that keeps on giving. Bleargh!

Neighbor Lady gets a Free Pass to the Front of the Line for any and all future ER visits. If they give you any crap about it, we'll just cluestick them into needing their own services! Hope NB is fully recovered from tonsil surgery, and NG has recovered from strenuous gymnastics camp. I discovered a product at either CVS or Walgreen's called "peas" that helps my tendonitis quite a bit. Along the lines of your frozen squash, they discovered that small frozen particles that can wrap around an injury are more effective for pain management -- it's an ice pack full of gel beads that will freeze and refreeze, but will still be pliable and moldable around an arm or leg. If her pain persists, I would look into one. I love mine -- it has come in so handy for many injuries since I bought it.

A "Finally!" Award to Sue who lasted long enough to reach her vacation! And through the Month of DOOOOM, too! Here's hoping that nothing disturbs your tranquility and you remain pain free. Both of the headache kind of pain, and the pushy parishioner kind of pain!

Liz gets the "Sexy Grandma" Award for her retro outfit! Liz, I'm sure that you looked GREAT, and if you looked in any way, shape, or form like a Grandma in your poly cotton blends, then you were the sexiest damn grandma there ever was! Put down them candied yams, Grandma, and crawl all over me!

Happy Birthday to the best vet we know -- Jeni! We all wish you hugs, kisses, big birthday wishes, and easy on-call days! I'm sorry that you haven't had any more fuss made over you, but just remember that we love you at WW, and we know you rock the catbox in the best kind of way possible! You are a rockstar, girl, and don't forget it!

By popular demand, Days wins the ever-coveted Mullet award for her kids and their collective groove-thang shakin' to the Snoozak played over the tech support call line. You KNOW you have great kids when they can get joy out of an hour-long tech support call!

Thanks to everyone who chimed in, and those who I'm forgetting! Everyone is a winner here at the whiner's ball! Oh, wait....maybe that should be that everyone is a WHINER here at the winner's ball....Oh, hell! I give up! It's just too damn hot (still!) to think straight!

Monday, August 2, 2010

Dog Days Of Summer

I don't know about the rest of you pixies, but here in my lovely little slice of the country -- it's hot. REAL hot. And not just your average, garden-variety hot, either. Not only triple-digit hot, but the "we're warning you to stay indoors" kind of hot. Saturday was 103 in actual temperature and reached 113 with the heat index.

There's the old saying in the South that ladies don't sweat, they "glisten." I'm here to call bull on that! I'm sweating like the devil in church! And, sweating is uncomfortable because you end up having to peel yourself out of the sheets in the morning, and that's not a way to make Mama happy first thing in the morning, let me tell you.

All of this extreme heat and humidity like so thick like trying to breathe in honey has left me feeling decidedly inactive. No one really wants to expend any energy when there's a chance that you could spontaneously combust, do they? Summers are generally lazy around Casa KLee, what with the "no work, no school" thing, but this heat is making me even lazier, if such a thing were actually possible. I mean, how hot does it have to be for you to decide that you don't even want to check the internet because you'd have to move your mouse hand?

So that's my whine this week -- colossal heatwave. What about the rest of you?

Thursday, July 29, 2010

Stinky, Anxious, Sullen, and Weepy Awards Ceremony

Big hugs and ice cream (as requested) for Days, with the fireplacing cancer diagnosis, even if it is a treatable kind. Many hugs in the upcoming weeks, too, Days. As many as you need, we have an unlimited supply here at WW.

Stinky Dwarf Awards go to...Sue, with the hot weather + exercise = stinky equation. And to...KLee's teensy weensy stinky rental car. And to...Amy's kids' plastic cups, with their invisible "husband hands off" stickers. And to...kathy a.'s cat's pook incident (which, although stinky was not mentioned, surely it was).

Anxious Dwarf Awards go to...8 year olds around the continent, including Sarah's, p_k's, and Neighbor Lady's children. And to...Sue, Days, and Sarah's mom.

Sullen Dwarf Awards go to...Emily's daughter and KLee's Offspring.

Weepy Dwarf Awards to kathy a. and Amy, as that grief that you thought you'd worked through comes back when you least expect it.

And those dwarves can take their heigh-ho's and stick them in a deep, dark cave, so kathy a.'s project from hell and the various bosses at Liz's place can join them there.

Old Skool to emily, for her heartbreaking whine about the discontinued chocolate raspberry granola bars. Runner Up Old Skool to Liz for the absent crab cakes.

Elevated Risk of Mullet to KLee for this metaphorical gem: "Obviously, the person who had the Beetle before smoked, so in order to kill the smell, the rental agency lobbed a Magnolia-flavored bomb into the car, slammed the door, and ran like hell. So, I drove around in a flower-scented ashtray, with my knees crammed up around my ears."

The Cluestick Posse is headed up by a (mostly) pain-free Sue this week. Kathy a will outfit her in red cowboy boots, and she will start with the Canadian government. When she's finished there, she'll head south of the border. Non-treating doctors, watch out!

Ice Cream also to all those experiencing ouchies of all kinds, sick kids and animals, and heart palpitations at the thought of Only One Whine per Day.

Apologies to all I might have missed. Save up your whines for next week, when a busy KLee will take time out to be our lovely hostess.

Monday, July 26, 2010

Rules That Come Back to Bite You

So, several years ago I was a youth minister. And I went on lots and lots of trips with the youth group. These trips had various hardships (cold showers, sleep on the floor, hot weather, baloney sandwiches, etc) and annoyances (turns out someone else's little brother is just as obnoxious as your own). Left to their own devices, the charming young people could get into a whining competition that had no end.

So I made a rule.

The rule stated: only one whine per day per person. Whines may not be saved, traded, or sold (this last sentence was an amendment after such activity did, in fact, take place).

This worked well for several trips; in fact, I got well known for "one whine per day." Before a person whined, he or she had to make sure it was worth spending a whole day's worth of whines. "No whining" would have not been practical, and besides, I would be likely to break that rule myself. You didn't want to spend your one whine on "but it's so eearrrllyy" when I tried to wake you up, because that would be it for the day.

I was pretty proud of myself, pixies.

And then God laughed, and I have a two year old.

Thankfully, I don't make the rules for Wednesday Whining. Let 'em rip.

Thursday, July 22, 2010

OK, so that total organization thing didn't work out....

Passing along a nice, soothing, cooling piece of art. And, a nice tray of delicious snacks [not pictured], because one needs sustenance. Especially when nobody feels like cooking.

Let's start off with the birthdays. Happy Happy to our Sue, whose hubby did a wonderful BBQ, and the boys both checked in with wishes. And prospective good wishes to Esperanza's beloved, who settled on an Open House, which takes care of the "who do we invite" problem. Yay!

Old Skool Award to Emily, whose supermarket is reorganizing. The nerve of them, pulling switcheroos and blocking the aisles. We anticipate the need for future cluesticking, should they mess this one up.

Elevated Risk of Mullet Award to Days, whose new kitten is blessed with a plethora of creative names, and who threatens to tell the vet next week that the baby's official name is "Identity Crisis."

Style Reference Award to Sue, who remembered TS Eliot's poem about the naming of cats.

Green Acres Award to Purple Kangaroo, who is negotiating a vision of farm life in a more urban "fancy-pants yuppie" setting. We hope things settle down.

Automotive Angst Award goes to KLee, for the cracked windshield of doom and one of those expensive little fender-benders. We are relieved that teh windshield is recovering nicely, and fixes in the works for the other part. By the time Offspring becomes a Student Driver, you will thoughtfully assign her a more "experienced" car, one that won't bring heartache in those rare moments when something doesn't go 100% right.

Esperanza brings Remembering What It's All About (with Mini-Baboo's middle-of-the-night hunger) as well as Bodily Fluids (this time in their absence, since Sweet-Baboo is rocking the potty training)!

Hugs and Dancing for Jenevieve, who is settling into her new place, PASSED the boards in California, and just began her new job!!

Cluesticks to Sue's otherwise wonderful son, who thinks it's OK to call mom when he can't keep track of spending; Amy's "smart phone," which apparently does not recognize a quality website such as WW when it sees one; and other deserving parties.

Days, all good Pixie wishes with the biopsy next week. xoxoxoxo

Thanks for playing! See you next week, when the host is the delightful Esperanza!

Monday, July 19, 2010

In Which She Swears, "This Week I'm Getting Organized"

Welcome to the Whiner's Ball! Your humble host is going to break up the procrastination this week by finishing a project, and taking steps to organize the office disaster. For example, yesterday I filled 5 bankers' boxes with stuff to move, convinced my beloved to clear my storage shelves of the 3 tons of items he and our son had placed there, and lost steam. But it's a start.

A long and complicated family situation is lurching toward resolution. My sister required a voodoo doll for stress relief, and apparently it has gotten a good deal of use in the past week. Probably should have made one for myself. And one for you. ;)

Long distance whine: Daughter is headed into finals, and she really really hates her roommate. Sample complaint: "She always leaves her hair in the shower drain." I'm just glad my Skype camera/microphone is not working, because it is hilarious hearing this one from a person who, as recently as her Christmas visit, dealt with her own long hair in the shower drain by twirling it into a circle and sticking it to the wall of the shower, so the shower fairy could take care of it. Mom has taken the high road, and only suggested that it is a short time to the end of the term.

In Anti-Whines, the Wednesday Whining moderators are pleased to announce that Esperanza will be joining the rotation of hosts!