Friday, December 31, 2010

Happy 2011!

This week's awards are brought to you by a Brand! New! Year!, coming soon to your location. Or, you can just pick a handy time zone and start celebrating now!

The coveted Elevated Risk of Mullet Award goes to Sarah, celebrating 17 years since she began dating her beloved, for her fabulous anit-whine: there was no facebook then, which considerably cut down on the general busy-bodiness regarding the circumstances of the romance. Brilliant!

Techie of the Week Award to Sue, for embarking on that long journey toward figuring out her New! Free! Camera! I don't see why these gadgets don't come with a permanently attached cheat sheet; the manuals always seem to drop into a black hole before I figure out that the features may be intuitive to a martian, but they are not intuitive to me.

Good Career Vibes to the fabulous Redzils, who is wondering what she will be when she "grows up," since this job hasn't proven to be the land of milk and honey. Best to all Pixies who share the quest, including Emily and Sarah, and thanks to Liz and Sarah for words of wisdom.

Pot of Gold at the End of the Rainbow Awards to Name Under Development, in two divisions: [1] Occupational, for landing a full-time job offer, top salary! and [2] Parental, for her excellent anti-whine about daughters returning home for the holidays: "All three girls have become women I’m proud to know and love—not every parent can say that."

Perspective Award to Sue, for handling a tragic and thorny situation with her usual good grace. Thoughts for you, the family, and all who are affected by this sudden and untimely death.

Raising a toast to all the Pixies as we leave this year behind and embark on the new one! May illnesses and sorrows resolve; may our families be well, work be manageable, and households achieve cleanliness, order, and basic hygeine standards; may happiness find us, at least a little bit every day; and may something really fantabulous happen every so often. Cheers!

(Yeah, the chances of my particular house achieving order, or the pook and bark disappearing, are about zipperino. It would be no fun if all the whines went away, no?)

ETA awards for NUD's wonderful, late-breaking antiwhines.

Monday, December 27, 2010

Ring Out the Old, Bring On the New

Welcome, Pixies, to the last edition of 2010! What stands out for you about this past year? Or decade? What are your hopes for the coming year?

Remember Y2K? I'll nominate that for the top non-catastrophe of the last 10 years. Another decadal event: Saturday was 30 years since I met my beloved. That's a big round number, suggesting a certain amount of ancientness, but we're still having fun.

There are things about 2010 that I won't mind leaving behind. Rough year economically and politically; rough times for many Pixies and other friends. An unbloggable family drama stretched over nearly the entire year, but is finally, thankfully over.

The biggest anti-whine is that my kids are doing well, moving forward, happy. We had a very exciting time visiting daughter when she was in Japan. And this coming year, she'll graduate college and discover whatever it is she will do next.

What's on your mind as you review the old year and look forward to the new?

Friday, December 24, 2010

Almost the Night Before Christmas...

It's time to pass the cookies and eggnog, and review the Pixie Motto: This Too Shall Pass.

Old Skool Award to Liz, whose husband does the laundry and then stashes it somewhere, without telling her it's ready to be folded, and she discovers it is done only when the underwear drawer is empty. Who can't relate to a little laundry whineage?

The coveted Elevated Risk of Mullet Award goes to Sue, for "I could have been talking to the meatballs in the slow cooker," describing the conversation with a future [and future ex] in-law. As for her stepsister, the Cluestick Posse shall be accompanied by a number of elves and several volunteer reindeer.

By popular acclaim, Days wins the Bodily Fluids Award, Pet Division, for her extremely classic whine: "Cat bark on my pillow; dog pee in my laundry basket. That is all." Such a stylish entry!

Lots of competition for the Bodily Fluids Award, Human Division, which goes to Liz (on behalf of MM), Sue (on behalf of Hubby), and Neighbor Lady (on behalf of Neighbor Boy), all regarding nosebleeds -- who knew they were contagious? -- and Esperanza (on behalf of Sweet Baboo), with 5 days of the messy product of a digestive upset. Eww. These awards include festive bottles of bleach.

Wonders of Antibiotics Awards to those in need, including Esperanza's Sweet Baboo and Amy's Tater. Oy, ear infections.

Belated Happy Birthday to Purple Kangaroo! And a Dishwasher Award; there's been a lot of that going around recently. Ugh.

Bah Humbug Award to KLee, who suffers the trifecta of sickness, an unhelpful doctor, and a grumpy hubby. Hoping the bug disappears, obviating the need for the second, and the Posse will be by with some cheerfulness cluesticks for Mr. Grinch.

Most Stylish Comment Award to Liz, for hers beginning with "Oh, for the love of fuzzy ducklings."

Best Anti-Whine Awards to Sue, for Skyping the church cantata, and the holy massage; Sarah, who now has "the internet in my pocket"; PK for her fabulous hair; NL on the dedication of new worship space at her temple; and JenR for projecting "mostly" readiness.

The "We Couldn't Do That" Award to Esperanza, for assembling the big gift for the Baboos without cussing.

Thinking of Friends Awards to YT and Gary, whose friendship and classic entries of the past continue to grace and inspire us.

Much love to Neighbor Lady, whose family lost 2 grandparents in 2 weeks; Sue, whose hubby had a scary blood sugar event; and Liz, whose sister was diagnosed with the fireplacing cancer. Fingers crossed, Liz, and all good wishes that this is easily treated. xoxoxo

Here's hoping that everyone celebrating this weekend has a lovely time! Barring that, a good story. Consider this an open thread for the W's and AW's of the season.

Sunday, December 19, 2010

Working the Seasonal Spirit!

Obviously, this time of year there is an ongoing need for whinage. So, let 'er rip!

There will [as always] be prizes [as deserved] for Old Skool, Style, Elevated Risk of Mullet, Bodily Fluids, Additions to the Lexicon, parenting, mechanicals, relatives, weather, and whatever else occurs.

Thursday, December 16, 2010

It's the Most Stylish Time of the Year

Twas a week and a half before Christmas, and all through the land,
The Pixies were kvetching of things small and grand.
Of autos, and illness, and presents undelivered,
Of dishwashers, houseguests, and Santa visits a-quivered.

Without further ado, we are proud to celebrate the fabulous creativity of Pixies everywhere! Even in the face of holidays and other adversity! Passing the cookies -- thanks, Jeni!

The Style Award, Music Division (Sub-category, Holiday) goes to Jenevieve, for her whine of back pain. (Hat tip, Amy and Emily, who also notes, "true artists suffer for their work.") We are in awe of the musical genius despite said back pain, and hope you feel better soon!

One would not expect a lyrical ode to a child barking in the night, but our own Days wins the Bodily Fluids Award, Style Division. We are thankful that Pixie clothes-washers do not seem to be afflicted by the ailment strking dishwashers this week.

Scary Claus Award, Stylish Division, to Sarah, for a lovely twist on a traditional seasonal experience with the wee ones.

Dishwasher Stylin' Awards to Liz, with her verse submission about the broken doo-hickey on her tenant's washer (bravely fixed by hubby), and Esperanza, with her tongue-twister about the fireplacing broken door to the soap dish (bonus whine of living in a church-owned house). Emily is a runner-up, since the soap door thing forced her to buy a whole new washer -- boo.

Emily wins the Technical Writing Award for her fabulous (and stylish)Rules for Guests (and by guests, I mean family!) Helping in My House. (Thanks to Amy for the nomination!) As a public service, this should be posted everywhere.

Fancy Dress Award to Liz, the one who dressed for the office holiday party, and her son, who picked his very own fancy dress outfit for the theatre; and also to Days' son, whose only birthday wish was matching dog/owner sweaters! Awww.

Amy wins the Primal Scream Award, submitted in verse as well as a typographical rendition of said scream. She also wins the Mommy Sleuth Award for getting to the bottom of some bullying of her daughter, and lining up the trusted therapist. Cluesticks to the little bullies and their parental units.

Heartstopping Holiday Tragedy Award to JenR, whose Am@zon shipment of gifts was freaking LOST, and the replacement might be LATE. This is very disheartening to all Pixies who rely on the wonderfulness of last-minute shopping and shipping. The Posse intends some cluesticking here.

Read My Lips Award to Amy, for the annual struggle with the MIL who does not want to give her what she wants, which is practical stuff. I'm sure this rings a bell with other Pixies: the relative who decides it is festive and kind to give presents they like because let's face it, you don't know what's good for you. (This is how I ended up with 8 place settings of snowman dishes, useful for 4 weeks of the year at most, with a kitchen my MIL knows full well has no storage space, because she usually rearranges my drawers and cabinets when she is here.)

Big Hugs to KLee, for the whallop of grief delivered by a massively insensitive cartoon. NOTE to the World: the fireplacing cancer is not fireplacing funny, and the Cluestick Posse is setting out to pay anyone who thinks differently an extended visit.

A smaller cluesticking goes to Esperanza's husband, who responded to the stuff gone wrong by telling the bitsy kidlets to "take care of Mommy," and proceeded to walk out the door. Grr.

Sing It, Sister Award to Sue, for her concise, pithy, heartbreaking whine: "MS sucks." xoxox Sue also wins the Relative Complications Award for the holiday dinner out with her family, one of those complications being that none of their homes is accessible. And also, it is like a million degrees below zero there.

Sarah wins the Automotive Award this week for the triple-whammy of [a] a major part falling off the car, [b] taking a recently replaced part with it, and [c] the only existing replacement part is in Texas. But yay on the first day at the new job going well!

Condolances to all Pixies suffering this week from illness, sorrow, mechanical failure, mean people, family angst, work overload, insufficient festiveness, and crankiness.

Many thanks for the kind Pixie wishes this week.

Sunday, December 12, 2010

Style Week!

We be stylin', this
Week. So write your verse, or your
Song, and play along!

Seasonal whines and
Anti-whines also welcome,
As they always are.

We got a tree, at
Last. Who knows if decor will
Occur very soon....

ETA: Stylish whines are encouraged, but not required. :)

Thursday, December 9, 2010


Quite an exciting week here at Whiner's Central!

Old Skool Awards go to Liz, for the mealy apple; and Miranda, for the classic battle of deciding whether something needed is worth a trip to the ~shudder~ mall.

EWWWWW! Award to Esperanza, who recovered not one but two deceased ladybugs from Mini's mouth, and also found her inner Iron Mom when Sweet announced, from the bathtub she was sharing with the baby, and I quote: "Poo."

ICK! Award goes to Sue for bark through the nose. (Thanks to Esperanza for the nomination.)

The ER Adventure Award goes to Liz, whose boy is OK! Yay! But chest pains and a referral to the pediatric cardiologist are scary as heck, and not quality holiday entertainment. NOT.

Also not good holiday entertainment is being hit by a fireplacing car! KLee wins the Road Warrior Award, Pedestrian Division. Her assailant, and all of the other drivers practicing Extreme Shopping, win extended visits from the Cluestick Posse. Sheesh.

Best AntiWhine Award to Sarah, for "Aren't we glad we don't live in igloos? That's my AW of the day." Sarah also wins the Seasonal Spirit Award, noting that the snowy frosting on her landscape really helps!

Miranda wins a Parenting Triumph Award, for the joy of seeing her son blossom into a fine young man!

They Love You! Award to Sarah, whose notice to the old job is being interpreted as an offer to keep doing that job in a poorly paid consultant capacity. Heh! This award comes with some Quality Cluesticking, and the following festive holiday message: "Which part of 'I quit' is unclear to you?"

Holiday Photo Award to Days, whose son devotedly insisted on the family dog's presence for the family portrait, resulting in some excellent dog + son photos, and some pandemonium in the actual group shots. Oh, well -- at least the photos realistically depict family life? ;)

Hugs and a sigh of relief to Jenevieve, whose beloved's meds are finally kicking in! Jeni also wins the Bizarro World Award, for the cognitive dissonance of receiving a totally wonderful [and expensive] grandparental gift at the exact time her family is struggling with her long hours, and pay so grinchy that everything's a struggle.

Passing the chocolate all around, and warm beverage of your choice. Best to all the Pixies struggling with illnesses, overwork, financial situations, bodily fluids, relatives, shoppers and shopping malls, seasonal overload, the weather, and igloos.

Saturday, December 4, 2010

Where the heck did I put that seasonal spirit, anyway?

I know it's around here someplace, but while I look for it, here is a holiday diorama in an eggshell, made in art class in 1974, presented here in fuzzi-vision on last year's tree. The fact that my eggshell ornament has survived lo these many years gives me hope for finding the holiday spirit again this year.

An immediate cause of angst is that a relative went completely off in a couple of middle-of-the-night nastygrams. And pixies, my buttons were/are pushed big-time. But it's pretty much my fault for seeing if the sibs wanted to go in on something for our beloved aunt. Sigh.

So, upward and onward. Great exciting work stuff happening this entire week, and daughter will come home on Thursday. We're not doing any big presents, and the little fun ones are coming along. Tree next weekend. Fa la la.

How's it going where you live?

Friday, December 3, 2010

Awards! With Bonus Shopping Advice!

Check the whining thread for excellent international shopping advice! Cluesticks to all family members, friends, and giganto corporations who do not provide the means to transport necessary goods across borders.

By popular acclaim, the coveted Elevated Risk of Mullett Award goes to Days, for this gem (though technically more than one sentence, it is pure Mullett genius): This household is terrified of change. Changing the empty toilet roll, changing the empty milk bag, changing the dirty hand towels and dish towels, changing the water in the dog's dish or changing socks is apparently too frightening a task for anyone other than me to conquer.

JenR gets the Old Skool Award for her whine about jackets with too-tight, non-slidey sleeves. Oh, does that ever annoy. And thank you for whining an Old Skool whine that allows me to avoid the toilet paper roll controversy.

We have a tie for Style Awards this week, so we have two divisions:
Flutterbye gets the Style Award, Concise Division, for "AAAAGH." Enough said.
Style Award, Haiku Division to emily for her haiku couplet on--what else?--shopping!

Job-Related Antiwhine to Sarah at Ratatat for the new job (so sorry for the disappointed colleagues--clearly you are a prize!). Job-Related Whine to kathy a. for unbloggable, feet-dragging colleagues.

Prizes also to all seeking shampoo, dishwashers, cold remedies, couch cleansers, and toilet paper roll changers. Hugs to Days, whose Big C whines are always welcome, no matter the season. (Well, I mean I wish you didn't have them to whine, but if you do, we're here to listen).

May your candles stay lit, may your candies be sweet, may your shopping go well.