Monday, December 29, 2008
As far as I'm concerned, fireplacing 2008 can just take its considerable suckiness and move right along. Don't let the door hit ya! I'm not a resolution-making kind of person (being unusually prone to breaking them in record time), but can't remember a year when I so looked forward to a Fresh Start. Now, please.
Of course, 2008 has not been all bad. My kids are healthy and reasonably happy; the kitties (and even the dogs) are so entertaining that one can forgive the usual lapses; my beloved is a hero; the terrific relatives far outweigh the difficult ones; the endless election season finally ended; have made new friends, and deepened some friendships; and avoided bankruptcy, outright insanity, arrest, parking tickets, major computer viruses, natural disasters, floods, locusts, etc.
Seconding KLee's sentiments last week, I'm grateful for the WW community, and hope it continues to thrive; there is nothing like sharing and caring and laughing about the stuff that comes up! You Pixies are the best.
What's up with you? Bring your whines and anti-whines, the mega-retrospective ones and the little current ones. Prizes for Old Skool, Elevated Risk of Mullet, Style, and whatever else seems appropriate.
UPDATE 1/1/09: Awards will be late today.
Friday, December 26, 2008
Awards this week are as follows:
Whine of Substance: Margalit sweeps the category with a headache-inducing (and well deserved) rant about her lovely daughter and the ruining of Hanukkah. Margalit, I'm so sorry. Having a child behave badly is bad enough, but during the holidays, it seems especially bad. Please don't cry anymore. All of us at WW love you, and wish you the best. And some rest from the bad attitudes.
Old Skool: Amy wins with her late-breaking whine about all the Christmas excitement turning the obvious potty clues into just another festive dance. Poor Mommy -- no rest for the wicked, right? I'm sorry that the Tot's brand new princess tent is all ... um ... soiled. Along with the carpet.
The Bodily Fluids Award goes to: Esperanza, and her woes about the leaky pouches of precious breast milk. You know, this is just Murphy's Law at work, right? If you had never decided to stop breastfeeding, those bags would never have leaked and had you continued to breastfeed, those bags would have been harder to get into than Fort Knox. Can you maybe rip open the bag and thaw it in a bowl or some other container? I hope you're able to save them -- that's a lot of effort down the drain....
The "What Brown *Isn't* Doing For Me" Award goes out to Sue, for her whine about the fireplacing UPS people who LOST her son's Christmas gift. Sue, I'm SO sorry! And, it doesn't matter that he's an adult -- he's STILL your son, and you still went to the effort to find him a great gift and ship it so that it would arrive in time for the holidays. I have to say that if UPS lost one of my packages, I'd be scorchingly mad, so this is a whine that hits close to home with me. Also, I second the firing of the cleaners who don't actually clean.
The Coveted "Elevated Risk of Mullet" Award goes, by popular acclaim, to Sara for her snort-inducing comment about her Uberboss: "Tell me what point I'm writing to support and I can find the literature and craft you a linguistic jockstrap of an argument, but don't ask for a jockstrap and then tell me you *meant* for me to write you a bra." Fireplacing bosses! Next time, warn us that you're about to be hilarious -- cookies in the sinus cavities hurt an awful lot.
Esperanza wins the newly-minted "Holiday Hell" award for having the Griswalds as neighbors. Neighbors who like to decorate their yard with miles of plastic crap *and* blare badly done handbell carols into the wee hours. Boy, I'll bet that makes life SO much fun! And that's not even *mentioning* the sick hubby or the having to wear hose and heels for Christmas!
Liz gets a special Christmas-themed "Mean Mommy" award for still trying to instill values into her son during the holidays. You are a TERRIBLE person, Liz! How DARE you not let your son act up during the holidays?! What's wrong with you? I hope MM got over his major case of the grumps without further incident. And -- you know you're a great mom, right?
I hope that everyone had a good holiday, and that our WW community continues to flourish and grow here. Our ministers in the crowd know the value of fellowship, and that's what WW means to me, at least. I hope that we can keep it going for a long, long time. That being said -- there's no host yet for next week's awards. Is there anyone out there willing (or champing at the bit) to moderate?
Tuesday, December 23, 2008
Normal prizes are up for grabs as usual, but also ones for the best holiday story, worst holiday experience, and the newly patented "Christmas-Themed Slice of Hell" which goes to the best (worst?) or funniest holiday story.
To all of the WWers out there, I hope that your holidays, no matter what you celebrate, are full of love and joy, and that you find fulfillment in whatever you are searching for. May your bank accounts be full, may your sorrows be few, and may you have peace and prosperity in the coming new year.
Thursday, December 18, 2008
Old Skool Award to Amy, who is too tired to whine.
True Meaning of the Holidays Award to Sarah at Ratatat, for her amazing work in ethical education, including explaining why a pile of broken seashells does not a thoughtful gift make.
Toofies Popping Out All Over Award to JenR.
Time Crunch Award to Miranda, who complains that the holidays are inconveniently situated with respect to her work schedule.
Saddest Antiwhine Award to Elizabeth, who was overjoyed that the office party was someplace else so she did not have to monitor emails for 3 whole hours.
Weird Science Award to Liz, who shall be conducting a groundbreaking experiment on herself!
Latkes of Goodness and Angst Award to Madeleine.
What’s the Holdup Already? Award to Redzils, still waiting on dissertation feedback.
Hard Goodbye Award to Sue.
Congratulations to Esperanza’s Boobs, who are getting with the Breastpump Breakup Program. Per Liz’s suggestion, Kahlua milkshakes all around!
Happy Dances for Halloweenlover, whom Klee reports just had a lovely baby girl!
Chocolate, candy canes, and high-quality comfort food to all coping with headaches, relatives, changing therapists, too much to do in too little time, tiredness, unreasonable expectations, shopping, teenagers, fireplacing coldness outdoors, and other accouterments of the season.
Many thanks to Liz, who told me how to link to comments! If this doesn't work, it's all on me.
See you next week, when the fabulous Klee will host!
Monday, December 15, 2008
Daughter came home! Worked on a fundraiser for a good cause! And, I'm thrilled with fabric donations to a quilt for a young local woman we know who is fighting leukemia -- an embarrassment of loveliness, and I hope to get the thing sewn this week. We found some decorations and got a tree, and might get to decorating soon. Way behind in work. I have almost no presents for anyone, even though Christmas and Chanukah are, like, sometime next week, I think. Whee!
We've had a rainstorm and cold weather, but the heater got fixed! And my holiday dream came true: my neighbor is having all the dead and dying trees in her yard taken down before they [a] cause the block to spontaneously combust in summer, or [b] fall on my house during winds/rains of winter. Thus, the chainsaws.
So, what's happening in your particular neck of the woods?
Thursday, December 11, 2008
Whew. Glad to get that off my chest. Now I can stop spitting incoherently.
The Remembering What It's All About Award goes to Esperanza, with engorgement clusters. Esperanza is also runner-up for the Elevated Risk of Mullet Award ("teh Second Thoughts, they are killing me...which probably stems from Whine #2: teh boobs are not in favor of this plan. At all")
The WINNER of the Elevated Risk of Mullet Award is Neighbor Lady for the keyboard killing comment punchline "downside: making cole slaw is never quite the same after that..."
The Old Skool Award goes to KLee for her short but sweet whine (presented here, in its entirety) "Wah! I just jammed my finger! I looked down, and there was a bug on my hand, so I went a little mental, and flung my hand out to rid it of the bug. Only, I flung it into the stove. Yeowch! Can i have a lollipop? Or at least some fudge?"
It has everything: Contusions, Comedy, and Candy.
The When Bad Things Happen To Bad People Who Then Need Nurturing Award goes to Kathy A.. I think she speaks for all of us at one point or another when she says, "I'm trying to be a decent person, but the temptation to just book the cheapest trip to anyplace else while I still have credit is very strong." Amen, Sister. (I also like the phrase, "trifecta of damaging relatives." Very nice indeed).
The Style Award goes to Madeleine for her Haiku honoring her old slippers.
Kudos to Redzils for finishing her results section...again
And kudos as well to Margalit for her first column in the local paper
Hugs and kisses to those dealing with Snow, Mold, Breakfast Meetings, Sleep Deprivation (New Mommy Style).
And Anti-whine of the Week to Sue for "Now it's snowing and I don't have to shovel. I never tire of saying that."
Thank you all for playing!!! Tune in next week, when our host will be the lovely and talented Kathy A!!!
Tuesday, December 9, 2008
Thursday, December 4, 2008
Uccellina sweeps two categories today: Remembering What It's All About and Style with her ditty to her kiddie who has bitten her t----.
Amy sweeps both Old Skool and Elevated Risk of Mullet for whining about breaking the nail she uses to pick the baby's boogies.
I am bringing back the Roto Rooter Awards for Margalit's novel in three words: Liquid Plumber works.
Hugs and Puffs Plus to all pixies who are sick themselves, have sick kiddoes and/or spouses, and any combination thereof.
The Why Hasn't Anyone Invented A Time-turner Yet? Award to KLee for her whine about too much to do, too little time to do it in, and when will she sleep?
The Etiquette-Schmetiquette Award goes to Sarah at Ratatat for the immortal words, "It seems rude to de-friend [her brother and SIL]"
A Standing Ovation to Genevieve (you really need to get yourself a blog!) for her son's first performance! The Mystery Family is looking into getting tickets, Genevieve!
Febreze and Oxyclean to Sue for her cat's nervous pooping.
And the cluestick posse is a-comin' lookin' for Kathy A's SILFH.
Last, but not least, Redzils gets the Whine of Substance Award. Not only does she live in a garret, but she has to get her dissertation done in 14 days while biking to school in the cold with wet hair.
Tune in next week when our host will be...me!
Wednesday, December 3, 2008
Friday, November 28, 2008
Elevated Risk of Mullet Award to Amy, who laments: "My purse is heavier than my diaper bag."
Style Award to Redzils, for her whine/antiwhine discourse on the merits of this year’s Thanksgiving companions, concluding: "Overall, still a victory."
Old Skool Award to Sue, who complains that pantyhose should be outlawed.
Condolances, Hugs, and your choice of chocolate cake or pumpkin pie to Pixies suffering from: missing family during the holiday; overcrowded familial conditions with incoming relatives; pneumonia and/or headaches and/or other illnesses; funky smells in car and/or home; relatives who are difficult for whatever reason (no talking; too much talking; etc.); messy homes; broken or missing appliances; bureaucracy; work pressures; and etc.
See you next week, when the delightful Madeleine will host!
Monday, November 24, 2008
Stuff I'm thankful for: My wonderful beloved, daughter, and son. Ze zany catz -- quirks and all. Two dogs who think I am a goddess just because I feed them. Sisters. Friends. That it's a small world. My fabulous aunt and equally fabulous aunt-in-law, and sweet mother-in-law. Son's girlfriend, whom we all adore. The internets. The cat rescue lady we know, who is giving me a free rabbit cage. The airline's good policies about disability accomodations.
Other stuff: Why a rabbit cage? Well, my SIL has 2 rabbits and no cage, so her house is their litter box and they are chewing everything in sight. Beloved took today off to ferry his sister around to deal with various legal / financial matters around her dementia. Tomorrow, she flies to her aunt's house for a week or so, which is an anti-whine for sure. Maybe not so much for the fabulous aunt-in-law.
Daughter can't come home for Thanksgiving because her marching band has to play at the big game on Saturday. But son and his girlfriend will be over, and I'm getting ready for the cook-a-thon! And if daughter's band wins this for the home team (bands, as everyone knows, are the most important factor in college football), they will go to the Rose Bowl! And march in the parade!
Finally, teh fireplacing cancer sucks. A talented young woman we know is sitting out this semester (and marching band season) because she's having chemo. Her fireplacing cancer is, thankfully, reasonably treatable. Anyway, daughter and her best friend and other friends and some moms and their church and some music people are conspiring, and we're gonna make a quilt. Take that, fireplacing cancer!
OK, Pixies -- have at it! Prizes, as always, for Style, Mullet, and Old Skool. Special prizes for other special whines and antiwhines. Passing the sinful appetizers.
ETA: Whining open through Thursday; prizes Friday. Happy Thanksgiving!
Thursday, November 20, 2008
"Fireplace That" Award to Sue, who had to see Dr. Grumpy, because her headache decided to make an encore appearance, and she cannot blog about it because it is insufficiently cheerful news for the self-appointed blog monitor at her church. Cluesticks, again, for the buttinsky parishioner.
By overwhelming popular vote, the Style Award goes this week to Liz, for her song, "Lost that busy feeling." Esperanza was the first to generously offer send some of her busy-ness right over.
Elevated Risk of Mullet Awards to Margalit, for "Lysistrata Home Game" (thanks, Amy, for the nomination); and to Redzils, whose careful research led her to realize her home is actually a "garret."
The Old Skool Award to Esperanza, whose ECI person managed to make her feel incompetent, when we are certain she meant just the opposite and was struggling for any suggestions to make. The parents among us are nodding and recalling when that happened to us, one setting or another.
Happy Dance Award to Klee, whose demon child was moved to another classroom.
Spousal Angst Award to CCW, with a complimentary visit from the Cluestick Posse. Also, scritches to cute little Lefty, the new member of the family.
"Baby Get Well" Award to JenR, whose little one has hand/foot/mouth illness – the name of which is enough to make a Pixie shudder in horror, as if the sickness and ER visit were not enough already.
"Thanks, Mom" Award to Amy, whose parental unit is flipping out and thinks Amy should abandon her own family and cook for Mom. This award comes with a special Early-Bird Ribbon for Amy’s Mom, who is starting the holiday family guilt-fest at a stunning pace.
Lifetime Achievement Award (fluid division) to Margalit’s darned cat.
Congratulations to Pixies with substantial anti-whines, including: getting Blogger to post; having someone pick up the phone and answer questions; good baby checkups; not having to shovel even though there is snow; approval of partial disability; writing and delivering something that rocks the place!; children back on the straight and narrow; kittens!; that feeling of solidarity that comes from everyone else being broke, too; good sleep; babies learning to sleep themselves!; wheelchair shopping carts; remembering whines past, and reveling in the fact they are in the past; dedicated hardworking kids; leaves getting raked; sick clouds eventually going away; falling in love with the wee one; and, a personal favorite of ours, getting past the double-barreled complaints from the grandparents about major baby decisions. Yay!
Condolences to Pixies with whines ranging from the medical to the emotional to the family to inadequate public accommodations. Thanks for playing, and see you next week!
Tuesday, November 18, 2008
Antiwhine: We had a great weekend visiting daughter! It was Dads' Weekend at the U, and her marching band assured a victory at the home game, with the able assistance of the band's Dancing Dads. With only 2 hours of professional dance training, several dozen middle-aged dads marched bravely onto the field before 46,000 fans and performed to the Elvis hit, "Hunka Hunka Burning Love," with arms, midsections, and legs going every which-way. The crowd was breathless, particularly the spousal sector, which is still collapsing into giggles at the memory. Good sports, those dads.
Whine: My SIL, age 50, now has been officially diagnosed with early dementia and is apparently going downhill fast. She needs a conservatorship, and the doctor called my beloved on Saturday night to say SIL cannot live independently. She also cannot stay here; the last time she did was a 24/7 rolling disaster. Please think good thoughts for my beloved, and for SIL's first husband, who is helping out; there is really nobody else.
Antiwhine: Annika got to go home! Woo-hoo!
Antiwhine: Cats! Except the one who keeps pooping in the bathtub. And the one who thinks tearing up the carpet in front of a door is the same as saying "Open Sesame."
Let 'er rip, Pixies! What's the news this week? Prizes for Old Skool, Style, and Elevated Risk of Mullet. Passing the chocolate, and I'm pretty sure Liz is ready to saddle up the Cluestick Posse, should the need arise.
Friday, November 14, 2008
the major blues involve clothing.
Great Pixie sympathy to everyone dealing with aching hands and aching heads, full time “part time” jobs (note: plural), friends’ grief, wee bairns with Bodily Fluid Issues, babies that don’t sleep, demon-possessed students, terminal exhaustion, and kitty fight club.
The Elevated Risk of Mullet Award goes to liz for: “Anti-whine: I had occasion to quote They Live today. Always a good thing when you can say, ‘I have come here to chew bubblegum and kick ass... and I'm all out of bubblegum.’”
Thanks for your patience. Next week's whining will be hosted by the fabulous kathy a!
Tuesday, November 11, 2008
Thursday, November 6, 2008
Special kudos to Liz, who was an election volunteer dynamo! Liz also wins the Style Award for her election tribute to Tom Leherer, "Anxiously."
On to the free-range whines. Our grand national experiment showed definitively that a nail-biting election does not reduce the general stress levels in participating households.
Hugs, love, and much Pixie sympathy to Margalit, whose teen daughter is having big fat problems, and PK, who is struggling with an "interesting" and previously undiagnosed condition.
Elevated Risk of Mullet Awards (Cat Division) to Sue ["My guess is there would be blood, and it wouldn't be the cat's."] and Liz ["The cat will say, as my sister used to, ‘Someone's going to end up crying...and it's not going to be me.’"] for their profound wisdom on the subject of cat care.
Elevated Risk of Mullet (Bug Division) to Redzils, for describing her new BUGZOOKA. But the joy is bittersweet, because Redzils also wins the Please Puppy, Get Well Award, having landed back in the hospital.
Old Skool / Hi Tech Award to JenR, for a spectacular feat of data deletion. Yeeps. Glad it is recoverable.
Old Skool / Baboo Award to Esperanza, who was chocolate-deprived for days until scientific experimentation disclosed that Baboo’s sleep problems were unrelated to the chocolate that Mama so desperately needs.
Boundaries Award to Sue, along with the services of the Cluestick Posse, for folks [a] not understanding why 60 hours of work can’t get done in 20, and [b] checking her personal blog for appropriate levels of cheerfulness at all times.
Moral Dilemma Award to Madeleine, who got popped for a moving violation and has the misfortune of being guilty as sin, along with half the other drivers at that intersection.
"Drat you, stoopid time change" Award to all affected Pixies, and extra rations of caffeine for those in need.
Thanks for playing! See you next week, when Redzils is our gracious host.
Monday, November 3, 2008
W/AW: Adventures in administering pills to cats led to some tensions in the household. Beloved learned that cats may not cooperate just because you lovingly cook chicken liver and tuck the pill inside. Cats conferred and decided humans bearing chicken liver are untrustworthy, although 3 of 4 cats ate the liver anyway when the pill was crushed up.
What's up with you?
Sunday, November 2, 2008
Friday, October 31, 2008
The Creepy Crawly Award goes to redzils, who vanquished a poisonous spider but wonders if her apartment is safe.
The Itty Bitty Squeaky Award goes to esperanza, who thinks she still has a mouse in the garage, with a side serving of Little Devil in honor of the sweet baboo, who wants to party all night long.
Icky Smelly Awards to both kathy a. and margalit, for teh cat pee. The endless cat pee. Ick.
A Scary Headstuff Award to JenR. Here's hoping those two little thingees were really nothing and the recovery was less painful than expected.
Big Brother Award to Elizabeth. Is work IT letting you keep an eye on the election sites again, or did they really cut them off?
Jekyll and Hyde Awards go to both margalit, whose son is much more pleasant when he TAKES HIS MEDS. Ahem. And to PK, whose husband has his good points. And then there's the recent behavior. Ahem ahem. Sending much sympathy to both of you as you try to work through the consequences of the Hyde phase.*
Icy Icy Not So Nicey Award to KLee. Got hot water? Or planning to outfit the whole family as hobos for Halloween?
Goblin-in-Law Award for kathy a., and all our sympathy as you deal with the New, Improved SIL-from-Hell, now with dementia diagnosis!
In less spooky news, we won't need to send the cluestick posse after Sue's rude parishoner/blog-reader. She's taken him on herself, with all of her usual grace and clarity. Go Sue!
And in the Medieval Torture Department, Snuggly Girl got her thing put in. Low point was when she tried to eat a grape in the car afterward and got the skin stuck in her stretcher. She threatened to throw up. But she didn't. Phew. High point was "the best chocolate milkshake ever! Thank you, thank you, thank you, Mama!" I will note for the record that I did not MAKE said milkshake, I merely ordered and paid for it. But I'll take the credit anyway. And now we know that the diner around the corner from her school makes good milkshakes! To bad she has a milk protein intolerance and will end up seriously constipated if she has too many of them.
Happy Halloween, whether you spend it fighting demons or admiring little sweet peas.
Next week, kathy a. promises to keep us company as we get whiney about the Big Election. I'll be there, with bells on.
* I just checked wikipedia to make sure Hyde was the bad guy and learned that R.L. Stevenson wrote the story twice (he burned the first manuscript after his wife critiqued it) and the second time he wrote the whole thing in just a few days with the help of large quantities of cocaine. And the whole event really cheered him up. Well. Who says whining isn't educational?
Tuesday, October 28, 2008
Thursday, October 23, 2008
Oy to the Vay
Tuesday, October 21, 2008
Whine: Last week was lousy in the crying until you cant breathe way. I had to put together a job packet in a week, the dog's spider bite wasn't healing, and it was all Just Too Heavy.
Anti-whine: I ran away from home for the weekend, and spent it with my parents and the ocean. It was planned, yes (they mostly live thousands and thousands of miles away), but the timing could not have been better. Time with people I love is such a gift.
A silly whine: something has gone screwy with the lights in my bathroom, so they randomly turn off. You can get them back if you wiggle the switch, but I cant reach it from the shower, so I end up washing my hair in the dark more often than not.
Anti-whine: I have a birthday on Friday, and I like birthdays. I really like cake, and am pleased that my boyfriend will be coming for the weekend.
Whine: I think this means I have to clean.
Best anti-whine: The dog's lingering wound from the Brown Recluse Spider Encounter (six weeks ago, not that I am counting) seems to have closed.
How about you, Pixies? Are things heavy or light right now? What's taking up space in your brain?
Thursday, October 16, 2008
Many thanks to all for the warm birthday wishes. Y'all make me feel better just by being here.
Now, on to what you all came for -- the spectacular floor show! Uh.... I mean the awards!
In our Whine of Substance category, our winner is Uccellina, whose precious progeny scared entire *decades* off Daddy's lifespan by appearing not to breathe. As if having a poor, sick little one isn't enough, now your husband's a quivering pile of Jell-o. Well, at least he's a parent who cares -- you could have the other end of the spectrum, God forbid.
In our Elevated Risk of Mullet award for best use of beverage-spewing wordsmithery, the award goes to the ever-hilarious Gary (otherwise known as Dr. Corndog) for the following: "Anti-whine: the boys have actually been behaving semi-respectably. My last nerve remains remarkably unjumped upon at this point." May I borrow those boys to demonstrate proper behavior to my boys in my class? Because my last nerve was jumped on, kicked down the hall, put in time out, severed and the shreds thrown to the four corners of the globe about a week ago. Sorry you're flying solo for the interim, Gary, but I know you're a great dad, so you'll do fine.
In the Old Skool category, Margalit wins for bringing the bodily fluids, even though the fluid is animal instead of human. The cat is insistent that its litter box is beneath Margalit's bed, necessitating the sleeping on the couch. Niiiice. Add in the verbally abusive son, and I'm sure tears are in there somewhere.
In a double-whammy decision, margalit also racks up another WW statuette in the "Friends? Who Needs 'Em?" category for friends who know that her family was running low on groceries and money, but still got a case of the ass-chap when they declined the invitation to the "bring your own sushi" party. Sorry that things are so tight right now, and sorry your friend's an asshat.
In my patented "Morton's Salt" award, the winner is Purple Kangaroo, whose tale of the doctor who desperately needs some bedside manner is angry-making in the extreme. You'd think, with your history, she'd have a little more of a clue by now. I hope you get your appointment, and the referral you need. I also hope good days are headed your way, and soon.
Honorable mentions go out to Kathy A., whose daughter lost her ATM card and needs mom to bail her out, and to Sue for back-to-work woes, moving woes, and a bouquet of flowers to her lovely husband, Pillar, for putting up with the crankiness.
Thanks to all who whined this week, and hope all your fall days are blustery in a good way!
Tuesday, October 14, 2008
Here in the tropics, however, fall means a gradual shift from "heat that melts asphalt" to merely "blazing hot weather with intermittent rain." We have more pine trees and palm trees than oaks and maples, so we're mostly gypped on the leaves, too.
To me personally, fall means that I turn another year older. Most of the time, this is a Good Thing. I mean, every day you're not six feet under is one for the win column, right? Except the older I get, the more the number seems to mess with my head. When I turned 30, I was depressed for a few days, all hung up on what I thought I should have accomplished by that milestone age. Now, at almost-38, I find myself very anxious at the thought that 40 is looming ever closer...out there, waiting for me. I know it's all in my head. I have LOTS to be thankful for: a great family, a daughter that I've managed not to kill due her angsty tween goth attitude, a job that I love, friends who are great, and my hobbies, which make me happy. So, why am I so hung up on a number?
Maybe because with age, I can fully appreciate that there is an end out there. That life is finite, and one day, it will end. And I don't want it to. I don't know exactly why I'm stressing, but I think I need to hear someone else's whines to fully appreciate that I'm cracked in the head for worrying about mere statistics.
So, pixies, if you think of me on Wednesday, at 7:21 am, think happy thoughts, and wish me less number-obsession. To all of you, may you enjoy your fall day, and may it bring you bounteous rewards!
Thursday, October 9, 2008
ETA: Please, pass it on if you feel moved to do so.
In honor of this anti-whine, I think that the whining awards are going to be abbreviated.
Risk of Mullet goes to Madeleine for "I don't know why, but trying to think about rats NOT barfing is just as gross as thinking about rats barfing."
Margalit, or, more specifically, her cat, brought The Bodily Fluids this week.
Old Skool goes to Elizabeth for the pimple on her ear.
The Cluestick Brigade needs to be sent to clue in Kathy A.'s mail carrier, Elizabeth's bank and Sue's insurance company.
And last, but definitely not least, we need to welcome a duo of future whiners:
- Turtlebella's daughter, Thalia Adelita, born on my very own Mr. Spock's birthday, October 5th!
- Amy, at The Texture of Things, had her baby boy on Friday, October 3rd!
And that is all for today.
Wednesday, October 8, 2008
Tuesday, October 7, 2008
Thursday, October 2, 2008
Our Best to Sue as she returns to work next week! And moves the following week!
Old Skool Award to Sarah at Ratatat, who worries her 4-year-old is angry, fussy, and tearful following the recent arrival of his younger sister. Hugs all around during the transition.
The coveted Elevated Risk of Mullet Awards (for funniest line in a whine) go to Sarah for the phrase, "infant lifestyle," to which she attributes sleep deprivation; and to Diane, who advises Amy (tongue in cheek): "blame it on your husband. Always, always blame it on your husband."
Style Award to Margalit, who sums up the worst, succinctly: "Money. Job. Money. All of which are impossible right now." Many hugs on substantive grounds, and glad you are back home.
Perils of Parenting Awards to: Amy, who administered still-unexpired eyedrops from the last round of pinkeye (which we agree is a perfectly sound approach); and JenR, dealing with ear infections, cold, and teething, the first two of which have spread to the parents.
Classroom Crisis Award to Klee, who has an out-of-control student. This special award comes factory-equipped with a magic wand, complimentary time-out corner, football-style padded protection for everyone in the classroom, clue-by-fours for the child’s parents and the school administration, and a Posse escort to The Professional Help This Kid So Desperately Needs.
Conehead Award to Redzils, and we hope your pup feels better.
Like a Heat Wave Award to Uccellina, who feels the heat in the wind and her throat.
Pants That Fit Again Award to Diane. We’re jealous!
Ain’t That the Truth Award to Robert, who observes: "we all depend on our ‘safety nets’ and well-timed ‘bailouts’ at various junctures in our life." Mazel Tov to everyone who has been my safety net, and yours.
Basement of Glorious Memories Award to Pablo, the brave and patient guardian of his four adult kids’ left-behind stuff. Best Use of Plastic Storage Products Award to Sue, who has limited the elsewhere-living adult offspring to one (1) large bin apiece when she moves to the New Place. And many hugs to Amy, whose mom found a broken treasure of Amy’s (long-deceased) brother’s in the basement, and wondered if she should keep it.
The Dollar Cost Averaging Award to Miranda (thanks to Madeleine for the nomination), who finds the silver lining in the financial meltdown, as it relieves us slackers in the investment arena of charges of financial irresponsibility.
Popcorn, beverages of choice, and ready access to the "mute" button to all who are celebrating the Season of Political Angst. Decided or undecided, excited or anxious, I think we can all agree on one principle: enough already with the talking heads and recorded phone pitches. I say, the next idiot who intrudes on our personal space with stuff we don’t want to hear gets all the Christmas catalogs.
Until next time......
P.S.: Thanks to Liz -- next week's fabulous host! -- for nominating Sarah for Mullet. And, hope the trip goes well.
Monday, September 29, 2008
We have a moderately anxious partial bailout going on the home front. Adult son and the feral pirates he has been living with with are breaking up and moving out of their apartment. Son will stay with friends while he continues his job search, but all his stuff will stay with us. Also, he lost his cell phone the other day. Also, he had to go see the doctor about his asthma and get a new prescription, and he currently lacks insurance. Also, all of his clothes are falling apart, which is not helping the job search. Also, he doesn't drive, so I got to drive him around all morning. Also, could I do some research on landlord/tenant law? In antiwhines, he is staying with friends instead of moving home! (I swear I love my boy! We just love each other better from a few miles distance.)
And folks, that's not all on the domestic front. A young buck got into our yard the other day. We startled one another, as I spyed him 3 FEET FROM MY WINDOW. The poor deer was so flustered that he broke the gate and a fence post while escaping, leading to serious weekend grumpiness on the part of my beloved, the designated fence guy in the family.
What's happening with you? Bring 'em on, the big fireplacing whines and the bitty little funny ones, anti-whines of glory and the small victories as well!
Thursday, September 25, 2008
Amy gets the Haz Mat Sunshades Award for the four-year-old with pink-eye. (My eyes water just typing that!)
The Bodily Fluids Awards this week go to Madeleine, whose “nose is a faucet and my throat is a river and and and…” and Diane for “the leaking” with a horrified honorable mention to Liz for 'It is now nearly 6 years since I stopped pumping and I still have leakage.'
We are awarding an Invisibility Cloak to esperanza’s inner introvert, who is quaking at the thought of twelve family members on their way for the Sweet Baboo’s birthday and baptism.
Sweet Baboo gets the Big Girl Now award, for cutting her mom a break in the anti-whines department where “the word "oxygen" has not appeared in [her] whine for two weeks in a row.”
I wish I didn’t also have to award esperanza the Buzzing of Doom award, for yellow jackets in her walls, and the Hostess with the Mostest (Headaches) award for the broken dishwasher and guest who wants to help by creating more work.
Could we send KLee’s difficult child a straight-jacket, or does that violate school policy? Maybe just an anvil from the sky?
Miranda’s early entries were worth of awards (work travel! Co-parenting! Lunch with a loved one at kids’ schools), but have been totally surpassed by her need for the Pit of Despair Cloud award, in honor of “possible orthopedic surgery.” Ow.
kathy a., we hope you are enjoying your vacation.
We hope the drop-off remains smooth and daycare gets easier for JenR’s little one, and that the babe a) feels better soon and b) sleeps through the night again in the near future. Mommies like that sleeping thing…
Sue gets the Whine of Substance award this week, for having her book deal yanked out from under her. We are sending love, Sue.
And, finally, kathy a. gets the Style Award for putting into words what we all wanted to say to Sue: “ that suckity suck sucks about the book. big time.”
Thanks for sharing, Pixies! See you next week!
Tuesday, September 23, 2008
It's been a long, weird week, and I am ready for the whining to start.
So far the poor dog got sicker, then better, then sicker again. Stepping out of bed into a fresh (warm) pile of dog yak is NOT how I prefer to start weekend mornings. I've spent twice my rent on dog hospital bills this month, and at this point would give a kidney for her to Just Feel Better.
Work is working, sort of. The dissertation is looming, largely. And I wanna hear what you guys are up to. Let the whining, whinging, and wailing begin!
Thursday, September 18, 2008
First up, The Whine of Substance Award goes to AMY who will be delivering her baby via c-section with no support.
"The worst of it is that I am the only one who thinks I
need as much help as I think I need, like someone to stay with me overnight at
the hospital or, say, someone to hang with my four year old beyond the first or
second day I'm in the hospital...Why does no one else in my life think having a
baby is hard?"
Amy, where in the world are you? The Whining Pixies stand ready to help you if we can. Also, we have a clue stick brigade armed and ready to do battle.
Next up, The Remembering What It's All About Award goes to UCCELLINA for missing dinner because she
"was trapped in the bed, tandem nursing two cranky babies who refused to stay
asleep if I moved."
Sending you one of those hats and some smoothie fixin's. (that's the plural of fixin', not the possessive)
By acclamation, The Old Skool Award goes to ESPERANZA whose husband made her a mustard sandwich.
The Fundamentals Are Basically Sound Award goes to MARGALIT, whose bra is trying to kill her.
The Telling It Like It Is Award goes to SUE for "Insurance companies are the pure embodiment of evil ".
Elevated Risk of Mullet goes to QUINN for
"As an assessment of our assessment, do we think this is working, and ifCoffee. Out. My. Nose.
not, how can we assess that?"
And the coveted Style Award goes to JENR for
People are dumb.
Day care starts next week.
And so I am crabby.
Succinct. Wise. True.
There are certain whines which we have gotten used to seeing around here which are notably absent this week. Sue's headache is MIA. And Uccellina points out that Esperanza's whine was missing the words "oxygen" and "Baboo". For both these things, the Pixies are rejoicing.
Thanks to Kathy A for mentioning my series on why I'm volunteering for Obama.
And that wraps it up for this week's WW. Tune in next week when Redzils will do the honors!
Tuesday, September 16, 2008
What do you MEAN you're not voting? Are you kidding me? People have been arrested, tied up, beaten, raped, and killed in the struggle to get voting rights and you're just throwing it away. Voting is a sacred duty. Do you know how many people in the world want what you're just throwing away???
And you, you there in the cubicle next to me. You with the Lexus. I'm talking to you. McCain's going to tax your health care benefits that you're so smug about. Yeah, that's right. Taxes AND more expensive health coverage! It's a two-for-one sale!
So, fellow whiners, what's eating you?
Friday, September 12, 2008
Pixie sympathy is going out in waves to redzils, because we're worried about your poor puppy (and your own crappy medical news, too).
And more waves of sympathy to margalit, who got a happy ending for her daughter's schedule woes, but is still dealing with injuries to BOTH of her son's knees, job loss, and community tragedies.
Speedy Delivery Award to Sarah, both for Arabella's lightning fast arrival, and for getting the good news to the pixies within 24 hours! I think that is a record. No pressure on the other pregnant pixies, though. (And I truly mean that, as a victim of the "we need more baby pictures" grandmother guilt trips.)
Remembrance of Headaches Past Award to Sue, who has finally, FINALLY kicked that ache right out of her head. It was touch and go there as of Wednesday, but her blog update says the new, local treatment was a success! Three cheers for Sue! May this be the first week of the rest of your (pain-free) life.
The Golden File Folder Award to Sara, who needs somewhere to put the avalanche of paper that is flowing at her house. One of the many joys of back-to-school season.
A Hero of Our Nation Award to KLee, for continuing to teach our children despite the presence of a violent student in her class. Thank you.
Old Skool Whine Award goes to Liz, who is stuck between a locked door and a hard place.
Style Award (Mathematics Division) to esperanza for this emergency management equation:
Hurricane approaching + bored weathercasters = paranoia. Multiply by one pessimistic husband and what do you get? Lots of extra errands for esperanza.The pixies hope your preparation keeps the storms at bay, and that you all are warm/dry/well lit today.
Best wishes for an easy delivery to Diane, who is counting the last few days, and "Hang in there!" vibes to Amy with a couple of weeks to go!
Join us next week when the lovely Liz conducts the complaints chorus.
Thursday, September 11, 2008
Tuesday, September 9, 2008
I mean, I get what I get, and I'll take what I get, but that doesn't mean I won't grumble about it.
And grumble I will! If I don't fall asleep first. Sleepy, so very sleepy.
I was going to whine about my vacation, but that seems a bit petty. It was a great trip except for the part where going hiking with Snuggly Girl, her Dad, and my Dad gave me flashbacks to unpleasant childhood hiking trips. I managed to pretty much keep my shit together until I got her into bed and then I lost it. Lost it! Cried and cried.
So I thought a lot about my relationship with my Dad for a couple of days and maybe processed a few things, and here I am at home and OK. And sleepy.
What makes you grumble this week?
Thursday, September 4, 2008
Neighbor Lady wins the Escape from Mauling award for "Getting one's period while tent camping in what may or may not be bear country."
Close runners up in the bodily fluids category were Amy, Uccellina, and Margalit for pee, cat pee, and pee and drizzlin' shitz.
Kathy A gets an Elevated Risk of Mullet for her recognition of the baboo's contribution to "the strategic national snot reserve." Redzils get the Paper Bag Princess award for having her priorities straight with "someday my white horse (prince optional, but I like horses) will come."
Diane gets the Genius by Comparison award for having to deal with coworkers who don't get that the point of the evil work ban is to stop them from having fun.
hugs to all dealing with mouthy teens, too much work, medical issues, and hot and cold running politics. See you next week when Madeleine returns as our host.
Wednesday, September 3, 2008
Feel free to whine here about helicopter parents, impossible schedules, inexperienced teachers, bullies, negligent parents, burned-out teachers, lack of affordable child care, overpriced textbooks, and the ever-present fear of having no one to eat lunch with.
Or about anything else on your mind. Especially the bodily fluids -- bodily fluids are always in season around here. Nothing too big or too petty.
Should we be inviting the folks bitching over at Her Bad Mother to whine over here?
Thursday, August 28, 2008
This week the Elevated Risk of Mullet Award goes to kathy a. for her description of the newly shorn “uglee” nature area behind her house.
Our Old Skool award belongs to The History Enthusiast, who had to define the words “Agriculture” and “Lecture” in a college lecture.
This week the Pixie Cluestick Brigade will be marching on KLee’s complaining coworkers and suspect “friends;” micro-managing bosses; Sarah at ratatat’s brother and his wife, and the people who sent Miranda her travel card but will not help her get paid.
Esperanza wins (can we say "wins" and "plugged ducts" in the same sentence?) the Bodily Fluids Award for having to “suck snot multiple times per hour” AND cope with plugged ducts.
Much pixie joy and gentle hugs to Sue, whose latest treatment banished Teh Headache. Sue, we are so happy for you and join you in hoping this lasts forever!
Elizabeth gets the Whine of Substance Award for: “Whine: Terrified for the future of our country.” Me too, Elizabeth.
And finally, JenR gets the Pixie Prompt Trophy of the week, for inspiring us all to list the ways to drain a medical spending account. They really should cover tattoo removal, dontcha think?
As for me, it’s still raining and plane tickets home are running $1200 bucks, so I see plenty of whining in my future. See you next week, when Elizabeth will be hosting the party.
Tuesday, August 26, 2008
I am back in SouthernState, where the semester started yesterday, and I am feeling whiny (I am also feeling a little ashamed of the whininess, so trying to remember the Anti-Whines too):
W: It's raining!
(AW: but at least it is not a zillion degrees).
W: Classes started up again on Monday.
(AW: but I am not teaching or taking classes this time around).
W: This is my tenth (1oth!) year in a row as a full-time college student, and it's getting more than a little old....
(AW: but, this should be my last year).
W: And, sadly, all my best friends, family members, and the boyfriend are at least four states away!
(There is no sufficient anti-whine for this).
I hope the beginning of school is either going well or not on your radar, that your weather is behaving, and that all is well. But, sometimes reality wins, which is why we are here. Let the whining begin!
Thursday, August 21, 2008
Honorable Mention in the Mullet department to Klee, who laments that "Some weeks, it doesn't pay to gnaw through the straps at the home." Klee also wins the Old Skool Award this week, for returning from a fabulous vacation with the bonus of a small pocketful of money left, only to have the microwave die a sudden death.
Style Award to Madeleine, for inventing the term "familio-blogular" to describe that particular pain arising from pressure to read a family blog, when reading said blog confirms the beauty of not having to hear that relative’s voice every day.
With thanks to PK for her nomination, the Most Concise Whine/Antiwhine Award goes to Liz. Hope MM is feeling better, and hooray for the bloggy lunch date!
The Password Challenge Award to Miranda, who spent her second day at the new job shuffling around begging for help, and complained: "Who the fireplace came up with the idea that we should have thirty different passwords with different rules that also can't all be the same?" To which all the Pixies say, "Amen, sister!"
Tech Solutions Award to Amy, who notes that most people ensure the security of their 30 different passwords by pasting sticky-notes all over the monitor. Thanks to all the Pixies offering sympathy and suggestions on this burning issue, including JenR, Amy, and Margalit.
ATM Achievement Awards to Sarah’s husband, the tech guy who can never remember his pin, and Amy, who remembered the pin but was trying it on a credit card.
Hand Over That Remote, the Olympics Are On Award to Elizabeth, who is at least consoled by the cute little foster baby kittens.
New! Pet! Awards to Margalit, who has a new kitty, and Purple Kangaroo, who is getting ready for a new dog. Yay!
Many hugs to Purple Kangaroo, who has been having pain and fatigue flare-ups, and worries about her kids.
Congratulations to Margalit, for a double-header victory: school problems worked out, and a new job! Crossing fingers that things get worked out with the landlady.
Miracle of Life Awards to Sarah, who is sort of tired of being pregnant (but whose baby moves all the time!); Amy, who has "placenta brain" as well as stretch marks and the diet of mental doom; and JenR, who is missing her baby, and stuck with the job for now since they gave her maternity benefits.
Thanks to everyone for playing this week! See you next week, when the Whiner's Ball will be hosted by Redzils!
Tuesday, August 19, 2008
Husband's gone all week. Son is still looking for a new job, and he bailed on an auntie's offer to take him shopping Sunday. I stupidly engaged after my difficult sister sent a "joke" email. And when, oh when, will I get my work mojo back?
In antiwhines, days of clouds broke into a glorious blue-sky afternoon yesterday, and more expected! Not too hot, not too cold, just right.
What's new with you?
ETA: It is a slow Wednesday, so here is a bonus movie review. Go rent The Great Debaters by Denzel Washington. It is a spirit-restoring antiwhine, based on real facts. If you do not get all smushy and/or inspired during parts of this film, go directly to the ER, because your heart has turned to stone.
Thursday, August 14, 2008
Old Skool Award to Amy, whose beloved just cannot manage the hard, hard task of putting condiments and cheese away. No, my friend, that’s not just the pregnancy hormones kvetching.
Elevated Risk of Mullet Award to Liz for suggesting the solution to Amy’s problem: Any condiments (or expensive cheese) left out that he should have put away, he has to use instead of shampoo. That way they won't go to waste."
Dr. Mengele Award to Sue’s doctor, who is withholding all pain meds for another 30 days, and as a bonus, planning to fireplacing drug test her.
Precision Cluestick Drill Team Awards to Liz, who offered to take a shot at Dr. Rotten’s kneecaps, Esperanza, who is "not sure that I’m aiming for the kneecaps," and Sue, who thanked them "especially for the aim, which we all know is vital."
Parenting Adventures Award, College Division to Name Under Development, with her chilling tale of her daughter’s semester abroad: actual costs running $500/month over projections, financial aid form sent to the wrong place. Yikes.
Shocking Loss of Liberty Award to Diane, whose work is restricting internet access to blogs. "I am definitely not an addict or anything," she notes, but "WAAAAAA."
Naptime Awards to all the tired parents, including Jenevieve (who returns from work to take up a second shift of baby care), Sarah (whose kids have no camp the last 2 weeks before school), and Esperanza (whose Sweet Baboo likes to party all night before Mama’s pastoring Sunday).
Dazzle ‘Em With Teh Cuteness Award to Esperanza, who has no idea what she said on Sunday, but discloses that when the babe goes to church, "Her cuteness blinds and deafens the sweet elderly parishioners to anything silly you yourself may be saying."
Hugs and a quick recovery to Liz, who banged her own knee but good.
Much sympathy to Madeleine’s girl, who is entering the wonderful world of orthodontics with a palette stretcher. Makes me cringe just to hear that term. Ugh.
Countdown Awards to expectant Pixies Sarah, Amy, and Diane!
Monday, August 11, 2008
- Fleas! I need to catch the not-quite-socialized-yet kittens and dose 'em. Please send reinforcements, long leather gloves, humane traps, irresistable cat treats, bandages.
- Road Warriors. If there is interest, there will be a special prize this week for best dramatic rendition of a road-related tale.
- How come nobody else thinks doing the dishes is their job? Do they think clean dishes grow on trees, or what?
- Pawprints in the toilet: go ahead, top that. One of my cats thinks he is a dog.
On the antiwhine side:
- Good cheap Mexican food on a date with my beloved.
- Stupid comedy DVD's. Strangely addictive.
- New storage shelves to hold some of my boxes and boxes and boxes of paper, so there's some room in my office for current stuff.
- Good friends and family.
Friday, August 8, 2008
The Lazy River Award goes to KLee, for skinned knees and bruises while tubing in a low-flow drought-stricken creek. So sorry, honey! I'm passing the Polysporin.
The Action Movie Stunt Coaster Award goes to Elizabeth, who is caught in the crossfire at work. Keep your seat-belt tightly fastened and your hands inside the car, please.
The Black Hole Water Slide Award goes to Margalit, since that is where her rent money has gone. (“We don’t help people anymore”? What kind of sentence is that? Can you even say that in English?)
The Wave Pool Award goes to esperanza and Uccellina as they continue to put up with the pumping action of their mechanical buddies.
A visit to the Internet Café for the Sweet Baboo, who is newly wireless! Welcome to the 21st century, little one.
Our sympathy to Sue, who has endured another week in the (not so) Fun House with the crazy mirrors, sliding floors, mazes in the dark, and oh, the headache. The headache. Hugs and massages, Sue.
Neighbor Lady must have been looking in those crazy mirrors when she cut her own hair. Hooray for Neighbor Guy, who saved the day when a Paid Professional failed to. It goes without saying that teh LICE gets teh Whine of Substance Award for this week. And last week too, retrospectively.
More hugs to Amy, with mounting pregnancy discomforts, and Sarah, who is just tired of being stuck waiting in a really long line for the best ride in the amusement park. The signpost says “48 day wait from this point.”
Elevated Risk of Mullet Award, for the best single sentence in a Wednesday Whine, goes to kathy a.’s comment on Elizabeth’s internal politics whine:
“if only it was lice, and the drugstore had something for it.”
Best Anti-whine Award also goes to kathy a., for:
“all the cat barf has been easy to clean up.”
And . . . that's it for this week. Join us next week when the award-whining kathy a. is our host.
Get it, get it? Award-WHining? I crack myself up. Stop me before I pun again.
Tuesday, August 5, 2008
Due to this past weekend's Civic Holiday (most boring name for a day off, EVAH!) I must whine that yesterday's longer-than-expected visit to the amusement park left me with one mosquito bite, two sore legs, and a very large quantity of uncooked chicken in the fridge. And the plan to grill all that chicken tonight is currently in limbo due to loud thunderclaps.
Anti-whine: Holy wow! When you go to the amusement park with a big family of thrill-seekers you will go on some rides you never would have tried with your staid nuclear family. And you will like them. You will continue to point at the really really big coaster and say "Never."
And you? Had your stomach smashed flat against your back recently? Been drenched in cold water while spinning in circles? What's exciting in your week?
Thursday, July 31, 2008
A great big Mazel Tov to Liz for finding her own Shiny! New! Job!!