Friday, April 29, 2011

Awards from the Spaghetti Factory

Ahem. Have been up at hubby's church for a large portion of the day to help with the HUGE spaghetti supper (they prepared 1100 plates). I smell like spaghetti sauce. Not unpleasant, but I'm done with it.

Without further rambling...

We have several Medical Whine Awards this week. One to liz, for a certain someone's reluctance to get something checked out. And another one to liz, for her own worrisome symptoms. (Really, liz, one of these per week would be plenty). And one to our headache queen, Sue (really, Sue, we'd like to remove that particular crown from your head). Another one to sarah at ratatat, for her little one's pneumonia and her bigger one's anxiety. And another one to p_k, for her own chronic illnesses and her daughter's troubling ones. And another one to kathy a, for her son's head injury and the cat's pook issues.

Special Medical Cluesticks will be applied (gently) as follows: certain someone at liz's house, people who create and require long forms, and kathy a's son, for getting himself into bad situations, more than once.

Weather Whine Awards to NUD, who managed to dodge most of the flooding for her big event, to all who have too much rain and too little, and to those who are afflicted with snow in April.

A Style Award to Sue, for the put-your-coffee-down-first Snow Log.

Many hugs to Sue for the non-supportive support group, p_k in the loss of her friend (sweetie, we all wish we could have done more/said more/been better friends), JenR for the house selling/hunting, and Days, who has apparently had all manner of livestock on her dining room table.

Kudos to insurances who cover needed treatments, well-timed breaks from the rain, gainful employment for offspring, and warrantied computers.

And a final cluesticking to Blogger, for being a twit.

Monday, April 25, 2011

Introverts Anonymous Whining Post

Whew, the marathon is over for preacher families. Grandparent visits, overflowing churches, new dresses, ouchy shoes, dinner invites, recovering from tummy bug, sniffles, oh my.

Sweet suffered from severe overload all weekend, I guess. She was overwhelmed by things that she usually takes in stride. It came out as silence and a chronic need to be held. Hopefully getting back into her normal routine will help this week.

Mini suffered from allergies, of the upper respiratory and skin rash variety and was generally miserable, night and day.

Mama suffered from the above maladies, plus way too much "face time" with the extended family and various churchy activities.

If you celebrated last weekend, I hope yours was more relaxing than ours. If you didn't celebrate, may I confess a teensy bit of jealousy.

Whichever is the case, let the whines flow...

Friday, April 22, 2011


Off to visit daughter for the weekend!! Leaving the Easter baskets behind for the family at home. Apologies if I miss any award-worthy whines.

Let's just start with the Old Skool Award, which this time goes to Sarah, for this fanabulous mash-up of everyday whines: "potty training, spring break for the kids but I still have to go to work, dentist appointments for me and the two big kids, and its keeps snowing. C'mon spring, please?" ~~ wild applause ~~

The coveted Elevated Risk of Mullet Award goes to Liz, who was stuck doing taxes while the person who didn't want to hire a professional slept, and all for this: "Ha! HA! The one form I couldn't find is HIS W2!!! HAHAHAHAHAHA!" The Mullet comes this week with a courtesy extension on filing taxes, and the Cluestick Posse shall be armed with tax forms, and lots of them.

Runner up in the Mullet category is Esperanza, who hopes that she and Mini "stand firm" in the face of pook afflictions in other sectors of the family. Well said!

Whoopsie Award to Emily, whose college daughter killed the computer via the time-honored method of spilling soda on it.

Condolances to all afflicted with tax stuff, which I think is everyone. But who would have guessed that clergy are especially prone to tax audits? It must be the lavish lifestyle, the wild parties, all those weddings and funerals, tending to the needy, those suspicious habits of claiming that sermons don't write themselves and cleaning up after coffee hour.

One tends to forget, not all the crazy holiday madness occurs in December: April brings both Easter and Passover. Seasonal Festivities Awards go to the following, Pixies, among others:

* Esperanza, whose 2 preacher + 2 baboo household has improved from Code Green to Code Yellow, and at least the bark was not in the sanctuary, and we wont' mention the pook situation;

* Sue, who has feelings of guilt about wishing away the angst of the Holy Week marathon;

* JenR, who suffered a toddler meltdown when she would not let the toddler eat chocolate eggs (conveniently provided at dinnertime by daycare) before dinner;

* Liz, who reminds Sue that "
Holy Week is the punishment inflicted upon you in exchange for not having to go through the brouhaha that is Passover for the religiously Jewish";

* Emily, who found the beloved Passover chocolates of her youth, and lo, they weren't as good as the memory, but the fresh macaroons made up for that.

The Weather is in for a good Cluesticking -- News Flash: it's April, and both snow and hail are inappropriate behavior.

While we're at it, JenR's over-diligent doc gets a few whacks from the Posse for multiple "call me right away" messages, when the news was "everything's hunky dory!" We do not need that kind of stress, doc. But, yay, right-sized shy baby!

Hugs and Love to Days, who is struggling with the fireplacing cancer, and the fireplacing taxes, and like that wasn't enough, her boy has an infected ingrown toenail -- youch. C'mon, Universe -- the Cluestick Posse needs a few words with you.

The Kudo Posse wishes to congratulate JenR on donating 10 inches of hair!

A big Hurray! for Sue's husband finding a new, great neurologist!

See you next week, when Esperanza will be our fabulous host!

Sunday, April 17, 2011

Airport Edition

I'm killing time at the airport, headed home from a work trip. Just watched a very excited family welcoming their son/fiance/brother/uncle home. They had a big banner printed, and the niece/nephew made a poster with photo, glitter glue, and little handprints. A bystander helped by taking photos that would not include the security area [no photos of that allowed]. Some other people went up and thanked the serviceman for his service. My eyes are a little damp.

So, we got a 5 a.m. phone call from our son yesterday morning, not that long before I left, saying he wanted to come over and talk right now. He lost a friend and went to the funeral this week; his neighbor's cancer came back; he also wanted to talk about losing two more people not so long ago. He's only 23. The losses were freaking him out. So was the open casket, displaying the bruises of a young woman killed in a bike accident. My heart breaks that he is struggling with so much grief, so young. And yet, my heart is full that my grown boy really cares, and that he wanted to talk about these terrible sorrows. He is a very good man.

In travel hilarity, my hotel [in an effort to accomodate all needs] featured a combination laundry room and business center in the lobby. Srsly! Finding the ice machine was kind of an ongoing treasure hunt; I kept encountering wandering guests with ice buckets, asking for clues. ["On second! Take 2 rights from the elevator!"] But it was a perfectly nice hotel, and I had a lot of fun meeting one of my "invisible internet friends," as my husband calls them.

Soon I'll be back in the mundane world, where cats rule and nobody likes doing the dishes. What's happening in your world?

Thursday, April 14, 2011

Concierge edition

The feline contingent is so happy to have me back that the shyest, most feral one let me pet her. Then she decided I was getting too fresh, and administered a swat. This is a huge breakthrough! (Polly is so shy that my sisters wonder if she is my invisible friend.) Yes, my life truly is so exciting that this is the big news. :)

By general consent, Sue wins the Mother's Job Is Never Done Award, for taking her grown son to the ER, then receiving phone calls from him after every nap. As Amy notes, "simultaneously adorable and exhausting."

Days wins the Old Skook Award for her classic whine, "Trying to teach our eldest how to add and subtract integers has confused me as much as her." This is how, in the grand division of marital tasks marathon, Daddy became the math consultant.

Investigative Journalism Award goes to Sarah, for her report on the fancy-pants mammo and ultrasound that must have cost her insurance company a bundle. We're glad you have a clean bill of health, and that it was soothing! But, makes you wonder about the cost crisis in health care. (I visited a similar place a couple of times, and thought that if they toned down the lush decor, they could probably afford to screen more people.)

Liz wins the Our Hero Award, for enforcing the boundaries of civility on a blog, with someone she generally likes who was attacking someone she doesn't. "We do NOT allow commenters to use the phrase 'you're a stupid fat idiot for being XXXXXX's lapdog.'" This award comes with quantities of chocolate and a personal cluestick!

"Hey, You!" Awards to Esperanza, Sarah, and all Pixies whose little darlings (or others) call them by less-favored nicknames. We think this is one of the Universe's little jokes, an early clue that no amount of dedicated parenting will make things go the way one expects.

Get Well Soon Awards to Espeanza and her family, Sue and her boy, Liz, and anyone else suffering maladies this week.

Esperanza wins the coveted Elevated Risk of Mullet Award for one of the illnesses in her domain: "Sweet was struck with the 'I may be able to talk, but I choose not to' virus." We predict there may be a time in the future when you are searching frantically for the "off" button. ;)

Thanks for playing! See you next time!

Monday, April 11, 2011

In which we go about our business...

I had jury duty today, and teh cats are seriously disturbed about my absence; senior just tried to scare the juniors for having the audacity to appear in my office, which she believes is her executive enclave. Have to go back tomorow, too. Don't tell them! They expect the concierge to be present when wanted.

In antiwhines, my data was saved despite the terrible death of the old computer, got a new computer, and I managed to get everything set up just so -- despite my limited skillz -- and an unsullied computer is a lovely thing! Still trying to remember and find my old links, though.

One of my cousins is setting up the summer family picnic this year! It will be kind of in the middle of nowhere, but at least I won't be the one in charge!

Let the whining begin!

Saturday, April 9, 2011

Awards: Late Edition

What a week, what a week. This ceremony is brought to you by the ancient laptop, because it apears the big computer is dead dead dead. "When we try to run the diagnostic, it shuts down. My boss says maybe it's the hard drive." Cross your fingers on the data and photo recovery. It was an excellent week in the whine-o-sphere, though! Many choice topics, from supermarkets to properly fitted undergarments.

Whine of the Week Award goes to Amy, who was planning to sleep in because of the confluence of spring break and sick toddler, but nooooo -- her husband decided to play the role of the alarm clock, complete with sound effects. Realizing his mistake, he slunk the heck out of there, avoiding injury.

The coveted Elevated Risk of Mullet Award goes to Liz, who opined that "I would smack him like a snooze button." As other pixies observe, the precise anatomical location of the snooze button feature on a husband imitating an alarm clock is sadly ignored by the standard reference works.

The Kudo Posse will be paying a visit to Sue's doctor, who is trying to be helpful and is all over suggestions from the clinic. Yay!

The Weather is in some trouble this week -- snow at a funeral for Sue, "weather whiplash" for Liz [90 one day; wintery rain the next].

The Phase of the Moon is chiming in, inducing screaming temper fits in youngsters loved by JenR and Esperanza, who win GS cookies, a supply of earplugs, and valuable "Mommy needs to be alone" time. Much sympathy, too.

Irrelevant Newspaper Rant of the Week Award to Esperanza, who reports that in these troubled times, her local paper's featured letter to the editor involved allegedly bad service at a nail salon. This is clearly a pressing problem, somehow overlooked by our elected leaders at both the state and national levels.

Days brings several of the Dwarves this week -- Sniffy, Sneezy, and Itchy. We wish you some merry antihistamines!

The Cluestick Posse is also saddled up to deliver some strong messages to Days' Dr. [Redacted], who wins a Lifetime Achievement Award for Bad Bedside Manner for commenting that she is "fat for someone on chemo." We figure a whack every few minutes, broken up by lectures from his Mama on the shame, ought to do the trick. Jerk.

Emily wins the My Vision of Heck Award for the many ways that the supermarket makes her crazy. Joining her on the podium are Sue, JenR and Esperanza. But this started a lively Pixie debate -- others of us like the supermarket, use it for one-on-one time with a child, or at least find it handy when one needs to escape.

Hugs to Sarah -- we hope that dizziness has gotten better. And totally understand wanting to go back to work because juggling kidlets is a trifle wearing sometimes!

Fahionista Awards to Amy [who found a t-shirt slogan saying, "What does not kill me only makes me whinier"], Sue [who needed an update to the funereal wardrobe, and got some great suggestions from Liz], Liz [who replenished her wardrobe, AND did some advocacy about properly fitted undergarments], and JenR [seriously, a strapless bra to go with the bridesmaid dress at a rather obvious stage of pregnancy?]. Many Pixie opinions on that last one. It appears that The Posse has formed a bridal subcommittee, armed only with 800 page magazines entitled, "Your Perfect Wedding: How to Drive Everyone You Know Insane Before The Big Day!"

See you next week!

Monday, April 4, 2011

Let's get this Spring thing rolling

We're back to sunlight and decent temps, after a weird week of one day 50 degrees F, the next day 85, few days later back to gloom. I'm ready! And I'm sure my friends still reporting snow are even more ready!!

The local felines are enjoying sunbeams, and I swear they have Spring Fever. Much commotion in the night, as they wrestle toys and tablecloths, engage in crazy cat races. The dogs are also happy with drier weather and Dog! Walks!!1!!1!! with their favorite human [not me].

Still juggling unbloggable work stuff, lots of it -- some good, some unspeakably bad. Even the bad is kind of moving along, my people are talking and strategizing. (Yes, whining is a tradition in my work. Or, as we prefer, "brainstorming.")

On the hobby front, I accidentally unearthed some great fabric that I had stashed in my clothes closet, which is not where I keep most of the supplies. Woot! Yeah, maybe I'll get around to that spring cleaning thing; who knows what else lurks?

How are things going at your place?

Friday, April 1, 2011

Avoid These Beverages Awards Show

Please see comments on the whining post for an extensive list of beverages to avoid when applying cluesticks, in order to avoid unfortunate pook accidents.

Bodily Fluids, Animal Division to kathy a., with the industrial-strength pooking by her kitties. And to Sue, whose cat just can't (or is it won't) bark in an approved location.

Bodily Fluids, Human Division, to the phobic Neighbor Lady, who must shower even after hearing of bark in another location. ~shudder~

Bodily Hormonal Obnoxiousness, Human Division, to liz, of the 21 day cycle, and Neighbor Lady, of the unnecessarily noticeable ovaries.

Related Mullet Award also goes to Neighbor Lady for "This whole Aunt Flo thing can kiss my heiny!" Yes, indeedy.

Old Skool Award to Days, for the tragic and sad necessity of discarding inedible homemade cookies. Runner Up Old Skool to amy and her toddler-induced sticky doorknobs.

Cluesticks to all who re-do lip stitches, Big Angry Church Men who act like babies (wow, that felt good), siblings who know how to manipulate us, husbands who mis-schedule home improvement projects, and people who don't buy condos.

Hugs to liz and all who are grieving the loss of her friend.