Friday, August 6, 2010

The, "Oh, Crap -- is it Friday already?!?" Awards Edition

Sorry for the lateness of the Awards -- time crept up on me this week and Friday was pretty much over before I realized that I'd neglected to post them.

Miranda gets some sort of Glutton For Punishment Award for camping out of doors, and in tents no less, with teenagers. I shiver a little just thinking about it!

Amy gets a newly-minted "A Teacher's Work is Never Done" award for not only having to read poorly written and plagiarized papers, but having to grade them and turn them back into students as well. Kids think it's tough that they have these projects due, but they never consider that the teacher probably has 30 of them (at the least) to read, critique, and redistribute. A good reason to consider a career switch to kindergarten, Amy -- my homework is usually "Practice your spelling words by writing them 3 times each." Spelling is usually 5 words a week. Not a lot of room for plagiarism there, either.

Esperanza gets a Big Girl Panties award for potty-training the Sweet Baboo. May her panties be forever dry, and pook stay only in the potty! Toilet training, in my experience, has either been completely effortless -- as in, the child one day decides, I'm ready, and does it on their own; or as in the case of Offspring, headache inducing. The headaches resulted from my banging my head against the wall in frustration, and then mixing a cocktail to forget about how abysmally potty training was going. I hope Esperanza is headed for the former version, and not the latter.

Kathy A. gets an honorable mention in the Bodily Fluids category for the cat pook on the laptop. Ew. Thank god it was closed, and disaster was averted, but still. That's NOT the gift you want, and certainly when it's the gift that keeps on giving. Bleargh!

Neighbor Lady gets a Free Pass to the Front of the Line for any and all future ER visits. If they give you any crap about it, we'll just cluestick them into needing their own services! Hope NB is fully recovered from tonsil surgery, and NG has recovered from strenuous gymnastics camp. I discovered a product at either CVS or Walgreen's called "peas" that helps my tendonitis quite a bit. Along the lines of your frozen squash, they discovered that small frozen particles that can wrap around an injury are more effective for pain management -- it's an ice pack full of gel beads that will freeze and refreeze, but will still be pliable and moldable around an arm or leg. If her pain persists, I would look into one. I love mine -- it has come in so handy for many injuries since I bought it.

A "Finally!" Award to Sue who lasted long enough to reach her vacation! And through the Month of DOOOOM, too! Here's hoping that nothing disturbs your tranquility and you remain pain free. Both of the headache kind of pain, and the pushy parishioner kind of pain!

Liz gets the "Sexy Grandma" Award for her retro outfit! Liz, I'm sure that you looked GREAT, and if you looked in any way, shape, or form like a Grandma in your poly cotton blends, then you were the sexiest damn grandma there ever was! Put down them candied yams, Grandma, and crawl all over me!

Happy Birthday to the best vet we know -- Jeni! We all wish you hugs, kisses, big birthday wishes, and easy on-call days! I'm sorry that you haven't had any more fuss made over you, but just remember that we love you at WW, and we know you rock the catbox in the best kind of way possible! You are a rockstar, girl, and don't forget it!

By popular demand, Days wins the ever-coveted Mullet award for her kids and their collective groove-thang shakin' to the Snoozak played over the tech support call line. You KNOW you have great kids when they can get joy out of an hour-long tech support call!

Thanks to everyone who chimed in, and those who I'm forgetting! Everyone is a winner here at the whiner's ball! Oh, wait....maybe that should be that everyone is a WHINER here at the winner's ball....Oh, hell! I give up! It's just too damn hot (still!) to think straight!


esperanza said...

Great awards, KLee. Who cares that it's Friday? Nobody.

It's the *heat* that makes me unable to think straight? That means in January, I might have a functional brain cell? Good news, that.

kathy a. said...

lovely ceremony, KLee!