Sunday, October 24, 2010

Whine, dooby-do, Whine Whine

Hey, Pixies! It's raining, so why not break out the whinefest early?

There is a great deal of regional pride since one of the local teams is going to the World Series! I have the lowest interest in sports of any human still capable of respiration, but it's hard not to feel a little excited anyway, on behalf of ecstatic family and friends.

In whines, a little pook, a little bark, some work stuff, little bit of the blues, lingering crabbiness over an upcoming event. I'm sure you can do better than that.

Antiwhines: Friday, I got to talk separately with 4 colleagues I've known forever, about 2 separate projects, and it was good! The new book club chose a book I suggested, after an old-timer declared it very good. I weasled out of a dreaded deep tooth-cleaning (which is highly irresponsible, but made me happy).

What's the tune of things for you?


esperanza said...

I need a pixie wordsmith to come up with a word for "snot." Because, oh, do we have it. Sweet had mysterious fever, with an "unusual" culture on the urinalysis. Mini started with a cough. Sweet got the cough (I thought) plus snot. Mr. E with snot and cough. Sweet repeated the urinalysis with yet a different "unusual" bacteria. Antibiotics prescribed (and, AW, enjoyed). Thinking that Sweet and Mini had the same respiratory ailment, I wasn't very careful about germ sharing activities. Friday, Mini comes up with fever and snot. Friday night, me. I am already feeling a bit better. Mr. E and Sweet are not really. Mini may be on the mend. We were all supposed to go an an almost-free retreat at one of my favorite places tomorrow. Wah. We're hoping to make it there on Tuesday. I am hoping to convince Mr. E to take his bronchitis to the doctor tomorrow.

Also, I am an incredibly crappy nurse. I want to say to them all, "what? you're not better yet?"

AW: New thrift store. Nice pair of navy blue slacks, 87 cents. I thought they were black, but for 87 cents, I'll take navy blue.

kathy a. said...

Esperanza, I think that snot is perfect as is. As a term of reference, not as a condition threatening the entire household. Ugh. Hope things improve, pronto, so you can do something besides be the chief snot-wiper. Good find at the thrift store!

liz said...

Oy with the boogies. I hate the boogies. I hate the goop. This is why I love 8-year-olds, they can wipe their own noses.

liz said...

And tushies.

Sarah at ratatat said...

Oh Esperanza - I hate to be sick but I hate feeling well when my children and husband are sick. Because I have things to do, places to go, c'mon! Which is totally immature of me.

Whine: immature, me.

Whine 2: we're meeting a friend (and some other people I don't know) for dinner tonight. Husband, of course, remembers he forgot to put the dinner on his calendar so has a late meeting. So I am going alone. He is going to be late. I don't know what to wear.

Even saying these are such minor problems (after last week with the snot and coughing which this weeks is threatening to add fever to the list), I am still whiny.

kathy a. said...

Oh, Sarah -- hear you about the awkwardness of doing something social with people you don't know, and losing your backup. Also, the perpetual what to wear problem.

Liz, boogies is a good pixie-ism. ;)

esperanza said...

Exactly, Sarah. And I am being a big baby about the whole thing. I was really looking forward to this retreat, and I'm really disappointed (we're just not going. Mr E doesn't feel like it, and I decided against talking him into it). Diagnosis: sinus infection. Sweet was better, went back to preschool today, where the rest of her class is also coughing and snotty. Hopefully it's all the same bug. Mini is worse today. If she hasn't turned the corner by tomorrow, off to the doctor with her, too.

Sarah, hope you figured out what to wear and how to avoid the "where is he/is he coming/who are you?"

Liz, it is definitely more of the goop than boogies variety, which is more than you wanted to know, I'm sure. Sweet has at least progressed to telling me when her nose needs wiping. And how is it they can't wipe their own nose on a tissue, but are quite good at it on my shirt?

Bah, I am crabby.

liz said...

"And how is it they can't wipe their own nose on a tissue, but are quite good at it on my shirt?"

Because tissues don't give hugs.

Boogies is what we have called boogers at Chez Mystere ever since MM could talk.

Snergles is what they called them in my husband's home of origin.

We have no good word for goop.

Jenevieve said...

I had a bunch of petty silly whines, but last night a friend of mine and his wife miscarried their twin boys at 20 weeks and my heart is broken for them. Sob.

liz said...

(((Jenevieve))) Please send all our pixie love and support to your friends. I can't even imagine what they are going through.

liz said...

Whine of anxiety: my team sent that report to HR. I feel sick. My stomach is roiling. My fingers are chewed to the bone.

But the worst that can happen is I lose my job, so this is not terribly serious in the grand scheme of things.

esperanza said...

Oh, Jeni, how awful. Many prayers and good thoughts send their way (and yours).

kathy a. said...

(((( jeni )))))

Jenevieve said...

Liz, finger's crossed for you!

Thanks, guys. They're holding up okay. I just... can't even imagine.

Petty whine: cough/throat-badness/achiness. Blech.

kathy a. said...

liz, more fingers crossed. you did the right thing. and it wasn't just you, right -- it was the whole group? so they can't dismiss it as an aberration, or one person's personality conflict or grudge. plus, multiple witnesses.

it seems to me that HR has got a serious problem on their hands. they can't condone abusive behavior; now they are on notice. and a team can't be expected to function when its boss has alienated every member of the team.

an old office of mine had reached a breaking point with our boss, who fell off the wagon, acted bizarrely, was not doing his job, and we all ended up having to pick up the pieces. it was a small place, no HR department. we held underground staff meetings to figure out how to deal. a friend and i ended up confidentially asking more experienced lawyers what to do, including a member of the board of directors and a former agency head. wasn't long before the president of the board asked me over -- scary, but the boss was sent on his way rather promptly. (allowed to "resign," was the public version.) hoping for a similarly satisfactory end to your problem.

Sue said...

My vote is for boogies, snergles, or just plain snot, depending on colour and variety. Of course.

Whine: our municipality voted in a complete jerk for our new mayor yesterday. I did NOT vote for him.

Anti-whine: Our church's service on Sunday featured Act One of "The Laramie Project" performed by our local theater group. THEY WERE AWESOME. *jumping up and down* I'm still excited. It was a high point in my ministry, and has me quite jazzed about other possibilities again.

Anti-whine: I guess the mean summer group who thought our worship was becoming too "traditional in style and content" may have not been *completely* wrong. The content part still stings, but it's been a while since we've been as moved in worship as we were on Sunday.

Anti-whine: Does admitting I was wrong mean I'm a grown up now? If not, that's okay...just wondering.

Anti-whine: Wonderful visit with Favourite Niece.

Whine: She leaves tomorrow for Ottawa. Next week she flies back to Afghanistan for another tour in Khandahar. Wah.

kathy a. said...

yay, sue! the laramie project performance must have been so moving. and what a lovely visit with your niece.

my heart stops a little about her going back to afghanistan. xoxo

kathy a. said...

W: ants. ants ants ants in the kitchen trash. hoping the first assault holds them off, because i really hate it when they get into the cat kibble.

Madeleine said...

I've got the same electoral whine as Sue. Same province, different city. Except in my version I didn't vote for or against the jerk because I don't have my paperwork done. (Though apparently the person I would have voted for is also a jerk, but a jerk who shares more of my political leanings.)

Madeleine said...

Oh! and for the second Tuesday in a row, SG is home sick. This time she woke up early with an upset stomach.

AW: My Love is home, and he was already up, so I dozed a little longer while he made her the cup of tea that eventually led to the red bark. She seems to be doing better now and has requested the traditional sick-meal of plain pasta.

Off to the kitchen with me!

liz said...

I am so sorry about the election in your area, Madeleine and Sue, next week is ours. Looks like it's going to be hell, but I really can't get too upset about it. "The other guys are worse" is not a way to motivate people to vote.

I really wish my team had a spine. Single Payer covering all aspects of everybody's health (including women). Repeal of DADT and DOMA. If they had passed those things, there would be such an outpouring of support right now, it would be blinding.

Sarah at ratatat said...

Amen, Liz. And good luck on the scary letter.

Oh Jeni, what sad news.

Esperanza - darn that you're missing the retreat. Hope everyone gets better soon.

Madeleine and Sue - representative democracy is better than the alternatives, but sometimes not by much. Poor SG.

And so happy to hear about your time with your niece Sue.

Whine of doom: My immature brat feelings about the dinner last night - covering up a UTI. My husband and I went late, but together, which was better for me. And as soon as I stopped worryinf about logistics I realized that funny feeling. Ugh. UTI.

Days said...


Sending positive thoughts for the quick evaporation of sickness in the pixie households.

We have the ick here too, but more of the fevers and fatigue variety than the snotty version. My own misery consists of an unshakable headache and roiling stomach this week, but it's making me very sympathetic to the wee sickies in the house too. Couch time, popsicles and tylenol for everyone!

AW?: Living in a cesspool of contagion means I am off the hook for seeing my primary oncologist this week to make the decisions as to what to do next. I think I'll stay home and keep our germies to ourselves.

Ditto on the disappointing election results here. Anyone want to house swap for the next four years?

Sue said...


multiple pixie hugs all around.

kathy - I try not to think about my niece being in Khandahar. Srsly. I can't bear to think of her in such danger. She told me she spent 36 hours in an underground bunker in her pjs and pink bunny slippers because the Taliban drove through their highly fortified/strengthened/guarded entry point. Crap.

purple_kangaroo said...

((Jen)) ((Liz)) ((all the pixies))

FlutterBye said...

I've been posting as "anonymous", but I thought it was time to pick a username.

I've reached a new stage of emotions. Rather than wanting it to just all go away and feeling numb, now I'm feeling things. Hurt, anger. Stuff like that.

Suddenly seeing things from a new perspective. Seeing situations where deflection, minimizing, untruthfulness, etc. have been happening. Situations where things have been turned around to be interpreted as my fault or my problem when someone else's issues were MUCH bigger and more blameworthy.

I'm starting to reinterpret some past events, and recent events too, in a different light. Seeing more clearly, I think.

My support group is really helpful, and I'm learning a lot.

But all this thinking and learning and processing hurts!

I was up until early morning last night, thinking, and making a list of recent things that I feel were dishonest or inappropriate, minimizing to me, etc.

Sometimes I feel a bit crazy, because the same situation or words can look so different when looked at through a different lens, with a different spin put on them.

A friend has offered to let me and the kids go stay with her and her kids for a few days . . . she's currently separated from her husband due to similar issues (although theirs are on a more intense scale than ours have been, I think). I'm thinking that might be good. However, there are things here I can't leave uncared-for, and can't ask spouse to take care of.

Such a rollercoaster of emotions, and lots and lots of thinking and processing happening here.

kathy a. said...

(((( flutterbye )))) it must really hurt a LOT. you are definitely not crazy; betrayed, yes. so glad you have your support group, friends.

can you find a sitter/helper type person who can cover the stuff you can't trust your spouse to handle while you take a breather elsewhere? yes, you probably try not to spend money on stuff like that, but so what. you're not clearing the bank account and flying to paris or anything.

emily said...

My supervising teaching (for student teaching) is playing Goldilocks. Yesterday I was going *too* slow. Today, I went faster, which he said was *too* fast. He's a good guy, but it's a little frustrating!

Sorry for the drive-by whine. {{{HUGS}}} to everyone!

Sue said...

(((emily))) - argh.

Flutterbye - what kathy a.said - if you can find someone to help out so you can have a bit of time to process and just breathe for a few days, that would be good. Sending pixie hugs...

liz said...

((Flutterbye)) ((emily))

Re: letter. So far, so good. Discussions with boss's boss's boss have occurred. Hopefully, we will not have to deal with too much fall out.

esperanza said...

Hugs to flutterbye. And emily, you're making me happy that I am my own supervisor. That kind of thing drives me nuts. Liz, glad to hear that the powers that be are reasonable.

AW: I am a tad less crabby than yesterday.

Madeleine said...

I nominate esperanza for the Girl Scout Cookie Award (best sentence in an Anti-Whine) for "I am a tad less crabby than yesterday."

Here at WW, we celebrate the small victories :-)

kathy a. said...

((( days ))) it's a hell of a thing [i'm channeling my dad here] when the local germies are an excuse to avoid the oncologist. oy. don't avoid for long! we need you! xoxo

Days said...


liz- Glad to hear that The Letter seems to have been a success thus far.

amy said...

My daughter (6) often avoids eating at dinner and then right before bedtime she pulls out her whiny "I'm hungry." Last night, I told her at dinner, "This is it. There is no other food tonight. Eat now or be hungry later." She started kvetching about how the chicken nuggets (which I had picked up on my way home from work at her request, because I'm nice like that) were stale. My husband and I drew the line firmly. No Other Food. We Are Tired Of Wasting Perfectly Good Food Just Because It Doesn't Suit Your Demands.

She didn't eat. At bedtime, she started crying during stories because she was hungry. Would I please get her something to eat?
PLEASE?? The! Nuggets! Were! Stale! *collapse*
No. You were warned.
*sadness ensues*

Post-stories, I head out to the kitchen for a drink, and I see a nugget on the living room floor. No surprise. Our cat often pilfers them after dinner if we've left our plates out.

When I picked it up, I discovered he hadn't eaten any of it. Weird. I bent it and it snapped. It was severely overcooked. It was inedible. Epic Mommy Fail.

liz said...

Days, I only just saw your comment about the germies. I hope everyone in your house is recovering, and I concur with kathy a. Take Good Care of Yourself is the order of the day, okay?

liz said...

Oh, amy. I have so been there. Now I test everything if MM rejects it and I wasn't eating it myself. If it's edible, that's all he gets for the night. If it was inedible, he can have a sandwich or a bowl of cereal - but it has to be right then not later.

Frustrated on Facebook said...

Thank you all for your kindness last week. By the time I got back to give an update, it was Friday (I think) and the awards were up. I thought I'd pop in this week and let you know how much I love you all. <3

I talked it over with a Real Life friend of mine, one who has had her own FB + Family = Fail, and she suggested I ignore the request and block him. I have done that, but I am still fighting the urge to contact the friends of mine who have friended him to tell them what they don't know and might be moved by. (None of these people actually knew my brother, BTW, but they worked where he worked at the time of the accident.)

I think the thing I am most stunned by is my mom's cooperation. I don't get how she can have forgiven him. I just don't. I have forgiven people in my life who have really hurt me, but I cannot imagine myself on the other side of this, or my mom on the other side of this. My head spins at the thought of it.

I think it's unfair of this man to get to claim a piece of my brother's life now that it's convenient for him when he was not willing to give my brother a piece of his life when my brother needed him. That is an injustice I can't get past, and the urge to message this man and tell him why I won't accept his FB friendship is not abating either.

Ugh. Anyway, thank you all for letting me vent. Sometimes just letting it out is really helpful. :)

kathy a. said...

oh, teh food battles, they suck. i had big issues from my childhood -- eat the whole plate or you can't be excused, mom berating me for being fat when she fed us horrible stuff and always kept sweets on hand, the time she was so pissed about something that she put us to bed without dinner, etc. -- so i tried hard not to make food an issue with my kids. i'm on the side of don't make an issue at dinner [just take a bite, have a little more is as far as i'd go], and provide healthy but not fun stuff if they get hungry later.

the not eating was never an issue with my boy. but i think girls get these horrible messages about food and their bodies, and so it was important to me to not slip into the food-demon role with my daughter.

liz said...


Here are my thoughts:
1) Talk to your mom and ask her what she's thinking in this.

2) Write the message you want to send to this douchebag, but don't send it. Sit on it.

3) Using what you learn from your mom, if you feel it may be appropriate, tell your friends about your discomfort with their friending him. Don't ask them to unfriend him, though. Let them know what he did.

kathy a. said...

((( Frustrated on FB ))) have you talked to your mom? she may not have forgiven him at all; it may be more a matter of thinking she won't stand in the way of him asking. or something.

i totally understand how you yourself feel -- where was he? no reason why you should engage with him. he doesn't deserve that much respect. he has not earned it. xoxo

it sounds like the only information your FB friends can pass on to your brother's dad is his good reputation amongst his colleagues. your brother's dad can't even share that much in return. these are likely to be short-lived conversations, because he's got nothing.

Sue said...

Oh amy and Frustrated, those are ick whines. Sending hugs.

Whine: Work. Frustrations. By. The. Dozen. Aaaaaaaack.

Anti-whine: Next week I'm on Study Leave and I'm unhooking my phone and staying away from email and fb. I need to pretend I'm invisible next week, so I may not leave the house until my massage on Friday.

I will try to bathe prior to Friday because i really like my massage therapist. Just sayin....

FlutterBye said...

Had a meeting today with someone who specializes in these kinds of issues. She spent almost 3 hours with me. Lots of good info, validation, advice and some action items.

Feeling encouraged and hopeful.

FlutterBye said...

Yay, Liz!



((everyone else))

Yankee, Transferred said...

I mentioned before, I believe
That of my money someone took leave
The sheriff served them today
Fifteen hundred miles away
And now it is their turn to grieve.

The disappointment however is grim
The pickings on their end are slim
I will never recover
(alas, nor will my lover)
The funds stolen from us on a whim.

So I sit here and hope against hope
That this person who is such a dope
Will one day awake
And such a slip make
That they hang themselves with their own rope!

Anonymous said...

YT for style!
Good progress Flutterbye!
I like your plan, Sue.


Sue said...

Yay YT!!!! Such style!!!!!

Whine: a good existential dilemma will ruin a good night's sleep every time.