Twas a week and a half before Christmas, and all through the land,
The Pixies were kvetching of things small and grand.
Of autos, and illness, and presents undelivered,
Of dishwashers, houseguests, and Santa visits a-quivered.
Without further ado, we are proud to celebrate the fabulous creativity of Pixies everywhere! Even in the face of holidays and other adversity! Passing the cookies -- thanks, Jeni!
The Style Award, Music Division (Sub-category, Holiday) goes to Jenevieve, for her whine of back pain. (Hat tip, Amy and Emily, who also notes, "true artists suffer for their work.") We are in awe of the musical genius despite said back pain, and hope you feel better soon!
One would not expect a lyrical ode to a child barking in the night, but our own Days wins the Bodily Fluids Award, Style Division. We are thankful that Pixie clothes-washers do not seem to be afflicted by the ailment strking dishwashers this week.
Scary Claus Award, Stylish Division, to Sarah, for a lovely twist on a traditional seasonal experience with the wee ones.
Dishwasher Stylin' Awards to Liz, with her verse submission about the broken doo-hickey on her tenant's washer (bravely fixed by hubby), and Esperanza, with her tongue-twister about the fireplacing broken door to the soap dish (bonus whine of living in a church-owned house). Emily is a runner-up, since the soap door thing forced her to buy a whole new washer -- boo.
Emily wins the Technical Writing Award for her fabulous (and stylish)Rules for Guests (and by guests, I mean family!) Helping in My House. (Thanks to Amy for the nomination!) As a public service, this should be posted everywhere.
Fancy Dress Award to Liz, the one who dressed for the office holiday party, and her son, who picked his very own fancy dress outfit for the theatre; and also to Days' son, whose only birthday wish was matching dog/owner sweaters! Awww.
Amy wins the Primal Scream Award, submitted in verse as well as a typographical rendition of said scream. She also wins the Mommy Sleuth Award for getting to the bottom of some bullying of her daughter, and lining up the trusted therapist. Cluesticks to the little bullies and their parental units.
Heartstopping Holiday Tragedy Award to JenR, whose Am@zon shipment of gifts was freaking LOST, and the replacement might be LATE. This is very disheartening to all Pixies who rely on the wonderfulness of last-minute shopping and shipping. The Posse intends some cluesticking here.
Read My Lips Award to Amy, for the annual struggle with the MIL who does not want to give her what she wants, which is practical stuff. I'm sure this rings a bell with other Pixies: the relative who decides it is festive and kind to give presents they like because let's face it, you don't know what's good for you. (This is how I ended up with 8 place settings of snowman dishes, useful for 4 weeks of the year at most, with a kitchen my MIL knows full well has no storage space, because she usually rearranges my drawers and cabinets when she is here.)
Big Hugs to KLee, for the whallop of grief delivered by a massively insensitive cartoon. NOTE to the World: the fireplacing cancer is not fireplacing funny, and the Cluestick Posse is setting out to pay anyone who thinks differently an extended visit.
A smaller cluesticking goes to Esperanza's husband, who responded to the stuff gone wrong by telling the bitsy kidlets to "take care of Mommy," and proceeded to walk out the door. Grr.
Sing It, Sister Award to Sue, for her concise, pithy, heartbreaking whine: "MS sucks." xoxox Sue also wins the Relative Complications Award for the holiday dinner out with her family, one of those complications being that none of their homes is accessible. And also, it is like a million degrees below zero there.
Sarah wins the Automotive Award this week for the triple-whammy of [a] a major part falling off the car, [b] taking a recently replaced part with it, and [c] the only existing replacement part is in Texas. But yay on the first day at the new job going well!
Condolances to all Pixies suffering this week from illness, sorrow, mechanical failure, mean people, family angst, work overload, insufficient festiveness, and crankiness.
Many thanks for the kind Pixie wishes this week.
12 comments:
Thank you for my awards, and I must add an anti-whine that there were 5 other people who showed up to the party in festive clothing. Including one ugly Christmas sweater. The season is saved. Allelujah.
Thanks kathy a!!!
Late-breaking AW: Skype!!! We're all set up so that hubby can watch (and hear) the cantata on Sunday via Skype. It cost the church $50 for a wireless router, but so what? It's the least they can do - and it is a Temporary Solution only. Srsly. Most of our people don't even *own* computers...
Anywho - happy ending - festivus miracle. Sweet.
As for the Relative Complications, dinner was okay, but dear Universe - when will my eldest sister understand that we are NOT going a family cruise.
Ever. Sheesh.
SUE! i'm just dying with laughter about the Family Cruise!!! i hear through the grapevine that my difficult sister thought it would be just groovy for us to do that, and oh my dear, but this is never ever in a million years happening; both the cruise part [floating hotel that costs a small fortune? for realz??], and the stuck with a difficult relative on a small ship part.
yay, skype! one small lurch into inclusion. emphasis on small, but we all know baby steps are good.
great awards! Thank you for mine. It was incredibly cathartic to write all that down.
Thank you for my awards, too! I have been absent because I broke my very own computer by tripping over the cord and pulling it off the kitchen table. As someone I'm married to had been warning me about for lo these many months. Crap. I'm on his laptop now, but I don't like sharing. :(
Dishwasher was replaced by deep pockets in the congregation. I have a teensy bit of guilt about it because it was probably fixable. not my decision, however. Haven't used new one yet.
And I can't believe I forgot to whine about the next All Church Party at our house this weekend. Far less angst than last time, thanks to absence of Overly Helpful Relatives (who need to read Emily's rules) and knowing sort of how many people to expect. Making Christmas candy and other goodies and having veggies.
OK, that's enough whining for an awards post.
--esperanza
Oh, keep whining. 'Tis the season! It's great you got a new dishwasher, Esperanza. Not so good about the computer. :(
my MIL just advised, via her holdiay card, that she will be coming to our house for christmas this year. which means, she is coming with her mean little dog who hates my husband and scares the cats, arriving on an undetermined date, staying for an undetermined length of time.
we do not have a dedicated guest room; ours is currently a disaster, and still full of stuff destined for goodwill. my cabinets are a disaster, too; and the family room, which i had not planned to use for guests, but that's where the TV is. menus are unplanned. need to make a stocking for her, and i guess the stupid dog too. the dreaded snowman plates need to come out and be washed. this coming week was already full, really full, including a day out of town for work and a major deadline project.
i sound so ugly. she's getting on in years and i should be welcoming. and i guess i'll get to that place, but i really wish i'd gotten more notice.
Kathy A, this very occasion is why the baby Jeezus and Santa Claus brought us Chinese food and Best Westerns. If you don't have time, you don't have time. Period.
That said, I may cry on several occasions at all I have to do this week. If it weren't for Amazon, I would be crying now. However, I accidentally signed up for their Prime service which was $79 I did not have to spend and which cannot be returned. I am feeling extra foolish this morning.
But it was still worth only needing wrapping supplies from one mega store and getting Younger Son's MUST have gifts from that giant toy store chain. It was half off for that deluxe fighting hamster set last night which meant I could throw in that worthless ball thing that is being heavily advertised on the kid channels. That which he will probably play with twice before he decides it is too hard ot learn contact juggling but as I learned with the bendaroos two years ago, do not argue with the holiday MUST haves - no matter how illogical. Because the fact they didn't get it will become the major holiday narrative and my feelings get hurt so .... there.
And Spouse is basically useless around the holidays. He has been in bed for the last three days. He only does things that I tell him to do. I think this now extends to showers. He was working with the doctor to adjust his meds but I don't know what happened there. It is BAD for him right now which is affecting the rest of us deeply.
AW: A friend of mine is a professional artist and she designed an original piece of artwork for me for Christmas. She told me she was doing it because she wanted me to pick a palette but otherwise, I shall be surprised. It is a truly thoughtful gift and I feel overwhelmed with gratitude.
AW2: Both grandmas pitched in time and/or money to get step daughter to my city for Christmas. My kids really miss their sister and she misses her siblings and I miss her desperately and when I think of how she will be here for almost every single special holiday tradition, I want to cry tears of happiness.
oh, miranda -- what a plateful. so glad about the grandmas pitching in! and at least the shopping is done, yay. xoxo
((Miranda))
((Kathy A.)) Set her up with a room at the nearest hotel that takes pets, and if she's upset, tell her that in future if she wants to stay with you, she needs to tell you three weeks ahead of time. You love her, you want to see her, but she can't stay overnight in your house, and that's that.
Which, yes, I've told my MIL. We all survived.
Oh man. Kathy A, you need to get emily to write you some Guest Rules. Miranda, huge hugs to you for the spousal situation.
My Big Party Whine continues, with an added Sweet Baboo with a tummy bug. Started Friday morning, a little better today. Rest of us are fine. Our plan, foolish though it probably is, is to continue with Big Party at our house. Sweet will be quarantined in her bedroom napping or in our bedroom watching her beloved tv. She is reveling in the extra tv time and "juice" aka pedialyte. Thank goodness she likes it. We're hoping our sanitizing efforts pay off for us and for our guests. Crossed appendages welcomed.
--esperanza
esperanza -- the bugs! the party! oy, but good sweet is doing a little better, and you have the contingency plan worked out. fingers duly crossed.
miranda, joining the wishes that things improve with your spouse. xoxo
thanks for the thoughts. my MIL was born in 1929, and she never stays in hotels. ever. the only out-of-town places she ever goes are her sister's house and my house. i think her road trip days will not last a lot longer.
so, i've got a list for tomorrow, and that's what i can do. i'm leaving the kitchen cabinets and drawers so she can fuss over them. she'll say "oh, don't mind me, go do what you need to do" -- and then spend a few hours talking to her evil little dog while she sorts and scrubs my kitchen. fortunately, i work at home, so i won't miss a minute of the live action.
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