Sunday, October 17, 2010

Shake it, shake it, shake it up, Baby!

Anniversary of the Loma Prieta earthquake today. We were fine, but it was a big one. Amazing how vivid it remains.

My major whine is that I've been losing a lot of time reminiscing, and not always about good things. Maybe some of that is the change of season, shorter days. For sure, some is due to an upcoming forced-march family occasion. Know I'll get through it, but I really dread aspects of it. And no, I don't think I can bail on this one.

In antiwhines, this will be a busy week, but some Important Things will get crossed off the worry list, and I can feel like a competent grownup. Yay!

Weird whine: There is some lovely public open space on the hillside just behind our house, but a weird guy has been hanging out there. Yesterday, we saw him poking at gopher holes with a stick, about 50 feet behind the house -- very intently, and for a good while. Then an uphill neighbor (who knows our dogs from dog walks) came by to say she has seen the weird guy with a freaking bow and arrow in the past, and he was hiding in some brush nearby and acting, ya know, weird. I suggested that seeing a guy with a bow and arrow is worthy of a call to 911! We've got 2 schools right nearby, and lots of people hike and dog walk up there. Oy.

What's shaking out your way?


Madeleine said...

Liz, this link is for you.

emily said...

Thank you kathy a. for opening whining early enough for me to whine:

Since I am student teaching (which is the equivalent of working full time plus taking a class) I have no time to whine! I have not worked full time in >5 years and just dealing with being out of the house all day and still getting all the house stuff done is kicking me in the behind. Plus teaching high school is hard work--it took me about a week to figure out how to manage bathroom breaks with only 4 minutes between periods. Some things can't wait for a free period...

Sort of antiwhine: I've lost a few pounds because sometimes, I don't have time to eat. But--I only have a few pair of suitable pants and I don't have time/$$$ to go replace them. Plus, the weight will come back as soon as I'm done.

Hugs to all, cluesticks as needed.

See you in December!

kathy a. said...

oh, emily. 4 minutes between classes??? and high school. and still everything on the home front. plus pants?? /faint/

liz said...

Glee is doing an episode on Rocky Horror Picture Show.

In their version, Eddie is thin. Rocky is wearing a shirt. The words "transexual" and "transvestite" are not used. And...Frank is a woman.

I am...appalled.

I admit I played Frank once in the Pgh floorshow, but it was just to cover for the regular guy who was sick. We probably had a boy playing Columbia that night (he really looked the part).

kathy a. said...

bleah, this upcoming family thing has me in such a funk. there is one person who will try to dominate everything, and every encounter for the past 15-20 years has featured personal criticism, unwanted advice, ugly commentary, and/or "hilarious" fictional tales of the past. this person should not own so much real estate in my brain.

Madeleine said...

Ugh, kathy. Sending some magic sparkly powder that banishes that person from your head. And also maybe a banana peel to be be remotely inserted under their shoe the day before, for a minor event-missing injury.

liz said...

Madeleine, thank you for that link.

I feel much better now.

Though still fuming about Glee.

kathy a. said...

oooh, sparkly powder! passing a little to liz and emily.

Frustrated on Facebook said...

I'm staying under cover for this whine. I hope you'll understand.

In essence, it's a FB whine. One of my mother's ex-husbands has sent me a friend request. I have ignored it, but I just had to tell my mom why, and I'm waiting for the fallout.

This is my mom's first husband, with whom she had a son. Ex-husband was a serial cheater, so my mom divorced him and got shared custody of my brother. Ex married one of his mistresses, and on weekends when he had my brother, he let his new wife abuse my brother -- a toddler at this time.

My mom eventually got custody taken away, met my dad, married him and had me. As soon as Ex no longer had custody, he disappeared from my brother's life. My brother was always scarred by this. Although my dad adopted him, my brother longed for his bio father to come back into his life.

When my brother graduated high school, he managed to track Ex down and plan an afternoon get together. At this get together, my brother discovered that Ex had 7 or 8 kids with his wife and never ever told any of them about my brother. Ex went on to basically break up with my brother. This broke his heart.

Five years later, my brother died in an accident that was all over the news. Ex heard about it, and managed to sneak away from his family to come to the funeral. Even after this, he still didn't tell his kids about my brother.

Now he shows up on FB, finds my mom, and asks her to suggest a bunch of friends because he's interested to learn more about my brother's life before the accident. She's cooperating. All I want to do is tell him to fireplace off, and my mom too, for helping him.

I see that 8 of my mom's friends have added him, and it is taking far too much willpower to stop myself from messaging them to tell them that this man doesn't list my brother on his long list of kids -- why should he get to have a piece of my brother's life?

That banging sound? It's my head repeatedly hitting the keyboard.

amy said...

Stomach flu. Four people in this house, and I am the only one who remains unaffected. This is temporary, of course, because when you have a 2 year old whose favorite place to bark is your lap, you are doomed. Doomed, I tells ya.

Only good news is that it appears to be short-lived. One day incubation, one intense sick day, and done.

liz said...

Sending hugs and love to you Frustrated.

Sending hugs, a surgical mask, gloves, and a big ol' bottle of bleach to you, Amy.

kathy a. said...

(((( frustrated on facebook ))) how utterly awful. really awful. i am so sorry for the loss of your brother, and know that a huge amount of the angst you are feeling is that he died with that broken heart, on top of the abandonment earlier.

i think your mom is going to need to come to terms with why you do NOT want to "friend" this ex.

but under the circumstances -- do you think your mom's friends are going to be very generous toward the ex? they must know he decided not to be part of his son's life, and only bothered looking for information after his son was dead. i obviously don't know your mom's friends, but they may all be perfectly willing to point out the void in your brother's life caused by his first father's abandonment.


kathy a. said...

on the other hand, FoF, i wonder if your mom and her friends realize that everything they put up is now open to this person?

Sue said...

emily - highschool *shudders* - you have my ultimate respect. Anyone who can take that on - my hero!!!

Kathy a. - totally 911 worthy - bow and arrow??? Seriously. That's off the charts freaky.

Liz - I'm torn. I'm glad Glee is at least trying to do Rocky Horror. On the other hand, I wish it were a Canadian show, so they could make it real. We can say transvestite on CBC and no one blinks. We're different up here.

((((FoF)))) I don't know what to say except I'm sorry.

Sending anti-barf vibes for amy. Blech.

Whine: Work crisis. As in "Do I Still Like This Job?" crisis. We received notice (for the fourth time in four years) that as of Jan 1, 2012, our building MUST meet govt accessibility codes. It presently does not. My husband, and about 12 members of our church - that I know about, there are probably more - haven't been in the building for ages because we are only partially accessible.

At a meeting yesterday, about 20 of time was devoted to how "we" can work the process to buy some more time. In other words, let's find some loopholes and get out of it.

I said, with a very calm, very unagitated voice: "I don't this is a good time to be looking for loopholes."


"This church has been *talking* about an elevator for over 15 years now. Is it really going to take a phone call to a govt agency to get it done? Because I promise you, after Jan 1, 2012 - I will make that call myself."

*more crickets*

I am dead serious. I will do it. If I'm still around at that time and the problem is not resolved, I can no longer justify working in a building that does not welcome my own husband.


Trying to decide where to send a resume.....

Sue said...

That's 20 minutes of time...

Anti-whine: My niece is coming to visit this weekend!!!!! She goes back to Afghanistan a week after that, which is kind of a whine, but not for her. She's ready to go back, she says.

esperanza said...

Oh Sue, the fireplacing church. Good thing God loves them, because they sure make it hard for the rest of us.

Emily, good to hear from you! Sorry you are toooo busy.

W: my phone got dunked in ice water a couple of months ago. After a trip to the white rice spa, it seemed fine. Till this week. It was acting all wacky, such that I had to get a new one today. Cute salesboy said it can take a while for water damage to show up. (Was I swayed by his cuteness? Perhaps. The phone is also cute).

W: Feeling overwhelmed. A million errands, only a thousand of which can be done in our little town. Tired of road trips for shopping which I don't like anyway. Especially with baboos in tow. But it's hard to shoe shop for said baboo without her along for the ride.

W: So since I don't have anything to do, I offered to be on call for this coming Sunday at not-hubby's church here in town. The pastor's mother is in her last days on earth. Felt like I needed to offer. We'll see what happens.

W: I am whiny

AW: All four of us went to the pumpkin patch on Saturday. Like a family outing! And it was fun! And we got super cute pictures!

Madeleine said...

SG is coming down with something. I predict a cozy day on the couch for both of us tomorrow, except that one of us has three meetings and two overdue documents. No, three overdue documents.

Good thing I picked up a pile of library books for her on Friday.

Madeleine said...

Actually, four meetings and four overdue docs. But I got up and drafted one of the them this morning and SG is still sleeping.

liz said...

(paraphrasing my comment elsewhere)

Sue, stick to your guns and keep pushing. It is due to you and Dave Hingsburger that my county's democratic committee is now in an elevator building with a wheelchair-accessible bathroom.

When faced with objections such as "but we don't have any members who need our offices to be accessible", I thought of you and Dave and said, "Perhaps that's because our inaccessible offices make them feel unwelcome."

Your words, your posts, your advocacy brought this change to my county.

You can bring it to your church as well.

Sarah at ratatat said...

Wow KathyA -that's a creepy guy on the hillside. Hope it doesn't come to the police, but maybe an Office Friendly type could get him to clear out?

Sue - keep fighting the good fight. And good luck on the resume front - the goods and bads in balance in all. maybe it is time for new people.

Esperanza - hugs. The errands that never end. Ugh. Hope there is a break on the whine front.

Madeleine - hope SG recovers in record time. Or sleeps it off. We have a cold circulating right now. I hate it. But really want it to be "just" a cold and not the start of ear infections, sinus infections and the life.

Whine: parents can come to recess today. And I am volunteering right before recess. Quick - what's reasonable excuse other than I finished school so I wouldn't have to go to recess again?

liz said...

Sarah, how about the seasonally appropriate, "The high-pitched shrieking of children at recess messes with my bat-sense of direction"

kathy a. said...

go, sue! how DARE they blither about how to evade the law when they KNOW this issues affects not only others, but YOUR own family? grr.

cape for esperanza, to provide her with superpowers for the land of the million errands.

madelaine, amy, and sarah -- best with overcoming the bugs!

sarah, it is probably too late, but i find "pre-existing obligations" to be a nice all-purpose excuse.

purple_kangaroo said...

Taking care of a friend's pets twice daily while they're out of town. Was over there today and my youngest started screaming about a bug on her leg. I looked down and we all had numerous fleas jumping on our legs.

I really, really hope we can get through the week without bringing fleas home to our animals. We do not need a flea infestation here.

purple_kangaroo said...

I nominate Sue's church for the cluestick visit.

Miranda said...

Whine: I have an overdue project that cannot go forward without approval. The approval requires a decision that only this person is qualified to render although I provided input that was summarily rejected. Months ago. I work a flexible schedule so I can go to work early, early while The (in)Deciderer works a late shift. The only way I have ever been able influence The (in)Deciderer into an active role, is by stalking this person after everyone else in the office leaves whereupon, The (in)Deciderer's brain becomes functional. It is a very narrow window of opportunity.

So, I agreed to take the last bus out to the suburbs so I could improve my chances of benefiting from this crucial, yet rare, neural functioning.

One hour past scheduled departure, "Oh, why are you here? Project? I haven't had time to think about Project."

I have to cover for this turkey in front of customers. Spoke with the manager of the (in)Deciderer today but I lack faith in anything being accomplished other than I felt better for about sixty seconds. "You know, Project is going to resolve itself!"

Anti-Whine: I have an offsite meeting to view the progress of another project. It will take up most of the day tomorrow. Praise the Whiny Spirits.

Miranda said...

Gosh, we have plenty of plagues covered this week! We have bugs of all varieties along with the pestilence of ablist bigotry in the form of Sue's nasty parishioners.

FoF, there are no rules saying you *have* to connect with *anyone* at that faceplace. Your mom can't (and shouldn't) try to manage your social connections any more now than she did when you were a Wee One.

Kathy A, my workplace is across from the bus terminal and there is a large population of junkies/beggars in the surrounding area. After two years, it barely registers so I recommend trusting your instincts.

Esperanza, I remember, and not at all fondly, trying to run errands with my Baboos (who not sweet) in tow.

Thinking of all of you.

liz said...

Yikes, PK!!! Flea collars for your home animals STAT.

Miranda, I am so sorry. I hate that kind of work-related whine, because there's just so little you can do.

W/AW on that front. That 3.5 hour meeting last week? Has resulted in a letter to HR from my whole team formally drawing attention to the fact that my boss used abusive language, and is generally failing at keeping within the very liberal confines of our company's code of conduct.

And I've sent out my resume.

kathy a. said...

my goodness, there are some resumes fluttering in the wind this week. for good reasons.

PK, fleas don't do well with a nice wash with gentle soap. that place you've been visting has a problem, though.

thanks for everyone's comments on the weird guy. i spent many years in cities with people like miranda described -- the bow and arrow report made me nervous, though. so, i'm passing the word to neighbors, and waiting and seeing.

esperanza said...

W: Shoe shopping was every bit as painful as I anticipated. Sweet Baboo was not. Mini wanted out! of! the! stroller!

AW: Got some new preaching shoes for $25. (My feet grew while pregnant with Mini and my old ones, though in very good shape, HURT).

esperanza said...

Oh, and some women were at the outlet mall shopping with their small children. To all outward appearances, they were enjoying themselves. Were they on drugs? If so, where can I get some?

Jenevieve said...

Hi guys!

Kathy A., creepy guy is giving me the shudders and I don't even live nearby. I think a police call is a good idea. If he's legit, at least it will let him know that he's very close to crossing the line.

W of outrage: Terrible euthanasia call on Friday. I was in way over my head (dangerous animal), so after an hour of fighting with the beast I called the vet on call (it was actually a night off for me, I was just doing the call as a favor) weeping and asking for help. His reply: "Oh, right, well, I'm really busy and I need to go to the bank, so it'll be about an hour before I can swing by."
**WHAT?!** I'm not doing this slave labor, poorly paid, exhausting job so I can have no help and no backup. It's an INTERNSHIP.
Anyway, he never even came out. I finished the call in a veerrrry unsatisfactory way, and went home. And cried. Gahhhhh.

AW/W: Um, the euth I did the next day went much more smoothly?

Main whiny whine: I'm so tired. I hate being treated like poo. I'm made to work 36 hours straight, then shouted at for making mistakes. I never see Matt and H.

Further W: aaaand we're broke.

AW: got to spend the whole day with H. He's so funny and adorable. <3

AW: Dulce de Leche ice cream. In a waffle cone.

Sue said...

Oh Jenevieve, how awful!!! Internships in general include being treated like pook and making no money, but yours is an extreme case. Cluesticks all around for your supervisor. I'm about the right height to take him down at the kneecaps. I'll let the others take it from there.

Whine: No. Sleep. Ugh. I could NOT get to sleep last night. Finally around 3:00, I woke up hubby as I was in tears and not breathing so well. Paper bag trick works every time. Hyperventilating at 3:00 am is not so much a romantic way to wake up one's beloved. Or so it seems.

Whine: "Just relax" doesn't work as well as the paper bag. It just makes me feel inadequate and stooopid.

Whine: Three people in our church died on Monday. That may have contributed to said wake-up and panic in the middle of the night. Possibly, yes?

This is going to be a loooooong day.

liz said...


Jenevieve said...

Oh, Sue. Hugs.

Thanks, Sue and Liz.

kathy a. said...

oh, jenevieve -- that's just awful. there are safety issues as well as the fact they need to be there when something goes so wrong, not just for support but because you are training and need to learn any tricks they have.

((( sue )))

purple_kangaroo said...

Jenevieve, that's awful.

And regarding the fleas: I treated the dog with Advantage. She did get bitten a few times before I got on top of it, judging from her scratching. We were a little overdue for her dose.

It's the rabbits I'm especially worried about. I can't give them baths or put flea collars on them. And treating an entire rabbitry full with something like Revolution would be problematic in several ways.

Plus, I'm getting bitten up. Ugh.

kathy a. said...

PK, poor buns and poor you. advantage is safe for rabbits, but so darned expensive. maybe cooler weather will slow the fleas?

kathy a. said...

wedding gift ideas? the person of whom i whined earlier just advised via email that she got married this morning.

who needs fiction when life is so, um, unusual?

liz said...

Nice note cards and stamps?

Madeleine said...

Send her new spouse some sparkly powder. They'll need it.

Anonymous said...

Kathy a.--does the wedding mean that the family forced-march occasion can now be canceled? Or postponed? (You know, on the order of---hey, why don't we wait and convene at later unspecified date so we can all celebrate the wedding--and then hope it falls by the wayside?)
Fingers crossed......
As for presents, I like the sparkly powder idea, but otherwise maybe a gift certificate?

--Neighbor Lady

Sue said...

Late whine: Favourite-Niece-Who-Doesn't-Know-She's-In-Our-Will arrives tomorrow morning, is staying with us, and I STILL won't really get to see her until Saturday.

Ah, life....

Anti-whine: She's here for a week!!!!

liz said...


Sarah at ratatat said...

Oh Jenevieve, that's heartbreaking. One day at a time and it will soon be over, I hope? Hang in there.

Wow, Liz. Hope someone snaps up your resume quickly!

Sue - being told to relax is so often counterproductive. (which my daughter reminds me frequently is true, but I still slip and suggest it.)

PK -an end to the itching soon.

KathyA - gift ideas - my slightly passive-aggressive reaction was board games - something like Scruples or Monopoly :)

AW: Solar lights were 75% off at Target today. Will finally get some for the driveway and maybe around the flower beds.

Days said...

And hugs to anyone with illness, fleas, creepy guys with bows, misguided committee members, job woes and fb frustrations.

As if I needed proof that I haven't done nearly enough of any kind of exercise in the last two months, I just charley horse-d my abs while trying to sit up.

Recall, if you will, the saga of the dental crown which did not fit and had to be remade again and again and again.) Either the crown or tooth has shifted, giving that odd feeling of things just not fitting together properly every time I close my jaw.

AW: I have actually accomplished a few things this week. My kids will not be costume-less at the end of the month and the emergency supply of chocolate has been replenished.

Sue said...

Oh Liz, I think we're living in parallel universes. I seriously hope that someone is smart enough to spot your resume and act on it - fast!

PK - the apartment I rented for a year in seminary had fleas in the carpet from the previous owner. Itchy ick!!! They ended up bringing in a pro. The fellow said he had never seen such a bad carpet infestation. No kidding!!
Hope your itchies go away soon.

Nice work on the costumes Days! And on the emergency chocolate. I have some too. The only difference is that our condo doesn't do trick or treats, so I guess I'll have to eat them (hubby is diabetic). I would hate to see it go to waste.