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Thursday, August 14, 2008

Awards!


This ceremony brought to you by Tums dipped in Nutella, a creative parenting solution used by Madeleine before Snuggly Girl’s recent graduation to pills.

Old Skool Award to Amy, whose beloved just cannot manage the hard, hard task of putting condiments and cheese away. No, my friend, that’s not just the pregnancy hormones kvetching.

Elevated Risk of Mullet Award to Liz for suggesting the solution to Amy’s problem: Any condiments (or expensive cheese) left out that he should have put away, he has to use instead of shampoo. That way they won't go to waste."

Dr. Mengele Award to Sue’s doctor, who is withholding all pain meds for another 30 days, and as a bonus, planning to fireplacing drug test her.

Precision Cluestick Drill Team Awards to Liz, who offered to take a shot at Dr. Rotten’s kneecaps, Esperanza, who is "not sure that I’m aiming for the kneecaps," and Sue, who thanked them "especially for the aim, which we all know is vital."

Parenting Adventures Award, College Division to Name Under Development, with her chilling tale of her daughter’s semester abroad: actual costs running $500/month over projections, financial aid form sent to the wrong place. Yikes.

Shocking Loss of Liberty Award to Diane, whose work is restricting internet access to blogs. "I am definitely not an addict or anything," she notes, but "WAAAAAA."

Naptime Awards to all the tired parents, including Jenevieve (who returns from work to take up a second shift of baby care), Sarah (whose kids have no camp the last 2 weeks before school), and Esperanza (whose Sweet Baboo likes to party all night before Mama’s pastoring Sunday).

Dazzle ‘Em With Teh Cuteness Award to Esperanza, who has no idea what she said on Sunday, but discloses that when the babe goes to church, "Her cuteness blinds and deafens the sweet elderly parishioners to anything silly you yourself may be saying."

Hugs and a quick recovery to Liz, who banged her own knee but good.

Much sympathy to Madeleine’s girl, who is entering the wonderful world of orthodontics with a palette stretcher. Makes me cringe just to hear that term. Ugh.

Countdown Awards to expectant Pixies Sarah, Amy, and Diane!
Thanks for playing this week! See you next time!

5 comments:

liz said...

Amy, virtual kisses and/or chocolate gratefully accepted.

Let me know how the husband likes his new shampoo.

Madeleine said...

Great awards, and thanks for the sympathy!

In the Credit Where Credit is Due Department, I think My Love was the one who thought of the Nutella solution. Everything tastes better with Nutella.

Sue said...

Great awards! Thanks Kathy a.

kathy a. said...

Heh -- looking forward to a shampoo update, too, Amy. :)

Mads, Nutella is brilliant! But you get hard-time credit for administering the brilliance.

Sue -- I picture the Cluestick Precision Drill Team as the mutant love-child of http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y90UPLLo6nY [the USMC Silent Drill Team] and http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RFtjnxm_wiQ&feature=related [one of many Library Book Cart drill teams -- there appears to be a hilarious and fierce competition amongst librarians].

BlackenedBoy said...

So, wait, is this like, a blog about complaining or making fun of complaining or something like that?

I saw your comment on my blog and wanted to check yours out.