Tuesday, December 23, 2008

WW: The Holiday Edition

...or otherwise known as "Holiday Hell." I have opened the thread not exactly early, but it will stay open until Friday. On Friday, I'll post the awards, so don't be alarmed that they're late. This will give everyone a chance to get their holiday-related whines in.

Normal prizes are up for grabs as usual, but also ones for the best holiday story, worst holiday experience, and the newly patented "Christmas-Themed Slice of Hell" which goes to the best (worst?) or funniest holiday story.

To all of the WWers out there, I hope that your holidays, no matter what you celebrate, are full of love and joy, and that you find fulfillment in whatever you are searching for. May your bank accounts be full, may your sorrows be few, and may you have peace and prosperity in the coming new year.


Sue said...

I'm first???

Holiday-themed Slice of Hell Whine: Fireplacing UPS lost our son's christmas gift parcel. Fireplacers.

I know he's a grown man, but the thought of him sitting at home alone on Xmas morning without anything to open just sent into fits of tears all day yesterday.

We arranged for a local Edmonton company to deliver a basket of nice things for him at his workplace today, and we ordered a nice gift that his co-manager will wrap up and give to him today. So at least he'll have Something - but Fireplace those UPS bastards anyway.

Whine the Second: I went in to the church this morning to make sure everything was set up for tomorrow night and the place was a mess. I decided - without question - that my first order of business in the new year is to fire the cleaning staff that we contract out to clean the place. They've had at least four warnings, and it's DONE. They are so fireplacing fired. For $50 every time they come in and DON'T clean up, I'd rather do it myself.

Anyway, it looks good now.

Anti-whine: A bunch of people at the church didn't mind that I was cranky and miserable - they love me and understand.

I just want this whole Christmas schtick to be over. My guess - every Christian minister I know is thinking the same thing whether they're willing to say it or not.

liz said...

Whining in advance that on Christmas Day we will be opening presents at home in the morning, then hurrying to Union Station to get on a train to travel to NYC to eat dinner with my Dad and Stepmom, then heading into B'klyn to sleep at my Mom's house.

All this is in aid of actually seeing my dad who will be out of town starting the 26th, when we had originally planned to go up for my grandmother's 90th.

kathy a. said...

What, a "mullet" is a "normal" prize? LOL Good wishes and much love to all teh whiners, even if we do tell inappropriate tales and laugh too much about most of them!

Nominate Sue for a "parenting means backup plans" award. The fireplacing UPS might mess things up, but long-distance son is covered via *two* special interventions. Yay!

Liz takes an early lead in amazing holiday travels to see everyone!

Big holiday antiwhines:
1. My beloved MIL and her dog came to visit and bring gifts, and all was well despite the lack of notice.
2. My kids have both consulted me about gifts for each other, and then surprised themselves by coming up with good ideas for each other.
3. Food is laid in; stocking stuffers and presents have appeared; surface cleaning is under control; we're ready, more or less. Mostly less, but it'll work out.

Whine: Fireplacety fireplace fudge. My sister's breast cancer has spread at least to her lymph nodes. This scares me. Her disinterest in finding out more until her MD appointment 12/29 scares me. So does some magical thinking about her situation: she is likely to freak the hell out when she learns about what comes next. Breathe. Breathe.

I've made an executive decision that all the behindness in work and other commitments is suspended, and that I should concentrate on baking, wrapping, finding some music to blast, spoiling the amusing cats, doing a silly thing or 2, etc.

Sara said...

Whine: Spent the afternoon trying not to scar my oldest by shouting "Would you stop being a whiny ungrateful little fireplacer!"

Antiwhine: Succeeded. Because I am Teh Adult.

Whine: We have lots of snow now, but it is likely to melt and get washed away tomorrow. No white Chrismas.

Whine: Fireplacing Uberboss wants a certain piece of writing for a grant proposal "before the holidays" but then took of for her own holidays early, without getting me neccesary feedback. Or even abstract of said grant proposal. Such that I just spent two days taking this in the entirely wrong direction. Because I am just the Research Support, guys. I am neither Pyschic nor expert in this particular field. Tell me what point I'm writing to support and I can find the literature and craft you a linguistic jockstrap of an argument, but don't ask for a jockstrap and then tell me you *meant* for me to write you a bra.

liz said...

Sara taking the early lead for Mullet!

margalit said...

Having the worst Hanukkah of my entire life and that's saying something considering my mother was totally nuts and my father vicious. But anyhow, daughter ruined first night of hanukkah by not showing up for candlelighting, but was actually two f'placing hours late, then proceeded to start a HUGE fight over her F'placing itunes gift card, which then moved to the lost shredder disk for the cuisinart which meant no latkes, and then moved onto her threatening me and being a total and complete ass, so I called off Hanukah and sat on sofa in the dark sobbing all night.

Second night, girl is working and her brother is off the wall, so no hanukkah continues.

Tonight, night 3. Both kids are gone leaving me alone with no matches to light the candles, no food to eat, no help, and feeling horribly sorry for myself. I've been in tears for 3 days now, people. I think I've moved beyond a pity party and into real clinical depression. Can't stop crying.

Meanwhile, weather went beserk in Boston last weekend, we were snowed in for 3 f'placing days until snowplow showed up Sunday night at 10:30 pm. Being snowed in with ungrateful nasty teenagers rocks. Additionally, car got stuck on driveway and I needed to ask neighbor to help. Which was humbling.

The kids have no Chanukah presents. Not one. I just didn't have the $$, the inclination, or the motivation, and then the weather arrived. They are pissed at me, but I can't do anything about it. I just don't have the resources, I still owe 1/3 of my rent for this month, I'm behind on every bill... presents are way down the list and they just aren't coming this year. Of course my family is useless and forget we exist and my one friend that does get them something is so freaking cheap that she spent (and I am not kidding, she left on the tags) $2.99 on wooden puzzles for them. They are SIXTEEN years old. Wooden puzzles? WTF? I told her not to buy them anything ever again because they blame ME for her insanity.

I am patently miserable, sad, and bereft. I usually do better this time of year, but this year... it totally sucks.

margalit said...

Oh, and Sue. My good cleaning person was summarily fired for having a bad back, they sent me a backup person that stirred the dirt around, didn't dust, and left the house filthy, and then didn't show up last week. I called on Monday asking if I'm getting a replacement and company never returned my phone call. My house is SO dirty it will take a team of blasting specialists to get it back to rights. And of course, today is Day 1 of a 2 week school holiday. Just hang me. Shoot me. Poison me. Do SOMETHING to end this nightmare.

Sue said...

(((margalit))) so sorry. It all sounds so blech. Just blech.

Sara for mullet - definitely. And phooey on UberBoss - fireplacer.

Best of the Holidays to all the pixies. I don't know what I would do without my pixie crankyness release valve here every Brigadoon Wednesday. You folks are awesome. So thanks.

kathy a. said...

Sara for mullet! "...don't ask for a jockstrap and then tell me you *meant* for me to write you a bra" is the best thing I've read all week.

((((( margalit ))))))

KLee said...

A whine on behalf of my husband: The Weather People say it's going to be 76 degrees here on Thursday. I mean, I know we live in the tropics, but come on! Can't we at least have the 45 degrees that we had yesterday?

esperanza said...

Definitely Sara for Mullett.

Assorted Christmas Whines:
* our across-the-street neighbors have quite a collection of Christmas yard "art." One of their pieces is a Christmas tree with various colored lights. Next to the Christmas tree is a stack of presents that is a plainclothes set of speakers. That play fake handbell Christmas carols. The neighbors are exceedingly faithful about turning it on nightly. I did mention they are across the street? And the speakers are pointed at our house? Sigh.
* Tomorrow is Christmas Eve. I have to wear hose and heels. That should not happen more than once a week. This is a petty whine, but I'm whining it anyway.
* Hubby has ANOTHER cold. We are quarantining him, because I do NOT want to suck any more snot.

Boobs seem to be cooperating, more or less, with the breakup plan. This is lasting a long time, no? I'm down to two sessions per day, FYI.

Sue said...

Glad the girls are cooperating esperanza.

You are SO right about hose and heels. Twice in a week is just wrong on so many levels.

How unfortunate that you live across the street from The Griswalds. That's rough.

Madeleine said...

Laughing in horror at esperanza's neighbors. We made a detour last weekend to see a house with a humungous light show choreographed to music -- but this place had a sign telling you what FM channel to tune to. Yes, they were broadcasting their accompanying music on a private FM band. Cars were lined up all around the little circular street gawking. My first thought was "Their neighbors must hate them."

Hannukah anti-whine: If you miss a night once in a while, after three years you will have enough spare candles in the drawer to totally cover for the fact that you forgot to buy a box of candles. This can be sold to the eight year old as "look what a great combination of different kinds of candles!" So far she has picked all of one kind each night, though.

Hannukah whine: No two people or spell checkers can agree on that darn transliteration and I'm sick of editing it. I just leave it how ever it comes out, these days.

Hugs to Margalit. You can make latkes in the blender, if you have one. They don't have the little shreds but they are still really tasty.

Here's one recipe -- looks about right:

But! My mom's recipe doesn't just toss it all in. Put a half cup of potatoes (out of 3 cups in my recipe) in with the egg and all other ingredients, whir a bit on fairly high, then add the rest of the potatoes and chop (low speed) for only as long as you need to. I stopped after a moment and stirred the potatoes down to avoid over-blending them. Makes thin, crispy latkes.

redzils said...

I've been drowning in dissertation woes, since my late feedback means the paper is eating my holiday break rather than being a thing of the past, but I dont want to whine about that tonight.

Instead I want to celebrate here that I have triumphed! I figured out the statistical analysis that has been plaguing me for weeks, and am now high on that victory as I go into the final stretch. Maybe I can get the paper out before Christmas...

And being in the Frozen North with my family and lots of pretty snow is also good for morale.

Happy Winter Holiday(s) of Choice, Everyone! May your day be filled with latkes, and not require pantyhose!

amy said...

I nominate Sue for an award for the comfort she offers esperanza: "How unfortunate that you live across the street from The Griswalds." I LOLed.

I'm not sure we've had a Whine of Substance award in while, but margalit has a solid, early lead. margalit, I'm hoping your Chanukah finishes better than it began.

esperanza, I'm glad the gals are on board with your plans. I don't remember how long it took me to wean the robot baby, but it's wise to follow your body and go slowly. The last thing you need now is a plugged duct or mastitis.

esperanza said...

If I may, another milk related whine: We have a stockpile of milk in the freezer. The stockpile is frozen in plastic bags especially designed for such a purpose. This is all good. What is NOT good is that, as we are thawing them, almost every single bag is leaking. Argh. Did I fill them beyond recommended level? Of course. Am I regretting that now? Um...maybe. But I'm still whining about it.

amy said...

What a heartbreaker, esperanza. You worked hard to make that milk.

If my experience with milk storage bags is typical, the bags are delicate once frozen, more so if overfilled. (I did it too because was stingy with the bags.) The water in the milk freezes into sharp crystals, so if the milk brick gets bumped or dented, the ice crystals can pierce the plastic.

LLL says that if the bag is leaky when you thaw it, you should pitch it. I always did, if for no other reason than the milk from those bags smelled too much of freezer-ness. Of course, there's the contamination issue as well.

Keep thawing them. If your experience is like mine, you'll hit some that are fine. It's kind of like the lottery.

Sue said...

Anti-whine: The package arrived for my son. With hours to spare. It's a good thing I sent it so early.

UPS is still getting a letter, or what is known in our home as a sh*t-gram.

Happy Holidays pixies.

kathy a. said...

ack, ack, ack! present-wrapping is finally underway. maybe i should have planned better? or planned at all? this is a lean christmas, but i have no idea if things will work out semi-fair, much less cheerful enough. holiday sox even things out, don't they? or do they just mark me as hopeless? why did i go for so many healthy veggies on a holiday that cries out for excess? must make bows, big fat ones. the stocking stuffers will even things out, don't you think? OK, the 4 lbs of chocolate plus the butt-load of desserts my sister is bringing will cheer everyone up. must have beloved put on holiday music the second he gets home, and keep it going until everything is done and/or it is time for peace and quiet.

what's a big old family holiday without a freakout, eh?

KLee said...

A small whine on behalf of my stepfather (well, my whole family, really...) -- my mother has started smoking again. After being off the coffin nails for about eight years, she started back up. I fussed at her, and so did Offspring, but she smoked like a chimney any damn way.

liz said...

Whine: MM is in "I don't have to" mode and so he lost snuggles on Christmas Eve.

I am a mean mean mommy.

Yes I am.

But he's got good prezzies under the tree.

esperanza said...

Now my feet hurt.

And my husband is watching "A Christmas Story" on tv. I HATE that movie. And it's tomorrow. It was on "repeat" on the dvd player the horrible night we spent in the hospital with the Sweet Baboo before she came home last year. That didn't make me like it any more.

I am cranky this week, no?

Sue said...

KLee - that's rough about the coffin nails. Blech.

Liz - you are a lot of things, but a mean mommy you are not.

esperanza - I thought I was the ONLY person in the world who hates that stooopid movie. Can't stand it. Thankfully, no one else in my house likes it either. Sorry about the repeat button on yours.

Elizabeth said...


whine: kids don't want to play on the beach

antiwhine: can get wifi from the neighbors

whine: huge 50 piece slot racing set for the boys from their aunt that takes half an hour to set up and consumes all of the walking space in the living room.

Sara said...

Antiwhine: USPS actually delivers packages and only packages on Christmas!!!

This means that me cheaping out and not sending the in-laws present box express-overnight did not Officially Spoil Christmas!!

(almost-irrelevant whine: I was mailing package to my in-laws on Monday and choosing between Priority and Express because my husband, their actual blood relation, did not take care of shopping for them nor wrapping for them nor shipping it to them, despite my repeated prompts "What are you getting your brother?" is apparently not specific enough. Nor is "These need to go in the mail this week," nor even "The university postmart is down the hall from me. If you wrap and pack them, I'll take them in and mail them for you."

amy said...

I worried that I was somehow breaking some kind of Christmas rule because I did not get my daughter (4.5) a single thing she specifically asked for, but it was all for naught. She loves the things that her grandmas and I thought she would love and she even likes the baby toys we got for the 3 month old. And the one thing she wanted desperately and got from a grandma isn't even unpacked from the grandma's-house bounty. Instead, she's been playing happily with a popping ball baby toy I got for her brother (3 months). Bonus: it's a loud-ish toy and for now she prefers to play with it turned off rather than on. How's that for a Christmas miracle?

amy said...

It's late in the whining, but I just have to get this off my chest. My daughter has been having pee accidents again for the last couple of weeks. My husband and I have been watching her carefully and sending her to the potty periodically in order to avoid accidents, but we were so caught up in the fun of Christmas and watching the chil'ren enjoy teh Christmas that we missed several very important potty dance clues. You know how this ends. She totally peed herself and the floor of her giant, new princess tent, and because the tent is nylon, it went straight through to my carpet.

I guess there's some truth to the saying that moms never get a day off.