Thursday, October 16, 2008

Prizes: Excuse The Delay -- I'm Old, Don'tcha Know?!

Sorry for the lateness in posting awards, but the fam and I went out for a birthday dinner, and then I came home and spent all my birthday money online, ordering crafting stuff.

Many thanks to all for the warm birthday wishes. Y'all make me feel better just by being here.

Now, on to what you all came for -- the spectacular floor show! Uh.... I mean the awards!

In our Whine of Substance category, our winner is Uccellina, whose precious progeny scared entire *decades* off Daddy's lifespan by appearing not to breathe. As if having a poor, sick little one isn't enough, now your husband's a quivering pile of Jell-o. Well, at least he's a parent who cares -- you could have the other end of the spectrum, God forbid.

In our Elevated Risk of Mullet award for best use of beverage-spewing wordsmithery, the award goes to the ever-hilarious Gary (otherwise known as Dr. Corndog) for the following: "Anti-whine: the boys have actually been behaving semi-respectably. My last nerve remains remarkably unjumped upon at this point." May I borrow those boys to demonstrate proper behavior to my boys in my class? Because my last nerve was jumped on, kicked down the hall, put in time out, severed and the shreds thrown to the four corners of the globe about a week ago. Sorry you're flying solo for the interim, Gary, but I know you're a great dad, so you'll do fine.

In the Old Skool category, Margalit wins for bringing the bodily fluids, even though the fluid is animal instead of human. The cat is insistent that its litter box is beneath Margalit's bed, necessitating the sleeping on the couch. Niiiice. Add in the verbally abusive son, and I'm sure tears are in there somewhere.

In a double-whammy decision, margalit also racks up another WW statuette in the "Friends? Who Needs 'Em?" category for friends who know that her family was running low on groceries and money, but still got a case of the ass-chap when they declined the invitation to the "bring your own sushi" party. Sorry that things are so tight right now, and sorry your friend's an asshat.

In my patented "Morton's Salt" award, the winner is Purple Kangaroo, whose tale of the doctor who desperately needs some bedside manner is angry-making in the extreme. You'd think, with your history, she'd have a little more of a clue by now. I hope you get your appointment, and the referral you need. I also hope good days are headed your way, and soon.

Honorable mentions go out to Kathy A., whose daughter lost her ATM card and needs mom to bail her out, and to Sue for back-to-work woes, moving woes, and a bouquet of flowers to her lovely husband, Pillar, for putting up with the crankiness.

Thanks to all who whined this week, and hope all your fall days are blustery in a good way!


purple_kangaroo said...

Why thank you, thank you.

Hugs and congrats to all.

And, Klee, I'm glad you had a pleasant birthday. May this year be a great one for you.

liz said...

Can we give you an award for your awards ceremony?

kathy a. said...

lovely ceremony! and, HAPPY BIRTHDAY, you young person!

Uccellina said...

Oh, thank you, but I really don't think I deserve the Whine of Substance award. The baby's fine, really. Just very snotty and boogery and unhappy.

kathy a. said...

snots, boogers, and unhappiness are not to be underestimated, uccellina.

by good fortune, daughter figured out she could [this is stunning, take notes] go to her local bank branch today and get a temp ATM card. also, she found her old card under a book on her desk, but it was disabled when she called in her lost card. no fed-x envelopes were killed, after all.

Madeleine said...

kathy a., there's a local bank branch?!? I know I'm old fashioned (ok, ok, I'm older than KLee probably) but isn't there this arcane custom where you go in to the bank branch during daylight hours and the teller gives you money from your account? Oh, wait, they probably laid off all the tellers last week when the market crashed.

esperanza said...

I'm still trying to get my head around margalit's "bring your own sushi" party. If it's "bring your own," who cares what you bring??? Why can't it be a "bring your own Ramen noodle" party? That's ridiculous.

Oh, and lovely awards ceremony. I like the Morton's salt addition.

Sue said...

Pillar said thanks for the flowers. I told him I would try to crank down the volume on the bitching, but I can't make any promises.

margalit said...

I've declined to attend the Sushi in the Sukkah party on Sat night, and now said friend is annoyed that I'm not coming because it means she actually might have to talk to her husband, who is the meanest man alive(tm). This is also the person who thought it might be a good idea to invite the masses to Thanksgiving and charge $30/head. Can you say socially clueless and cheaper than a Scottsman? I almost bit her head off on that one. This is also the friend that asks me to cook entire meals for Thanksgiving and Passover. And I mean ENTIRE meals. She is the world's worst cook, has no clue of what goes with what, and is so cheap she won't buy anything of good quality. So I cook (I love to cook) because I know the food will be edible. Last time she cooked for a holiday she made beef stew for Passover. Nobody ate it, but she didn't get why. Sigh. She's such a nice person otherwise. But between cheap and socially pathetic (aspergers is my guess... and her husband for sure, plus a PDD-NOS son), she doesn't have a clue.

Anonymous said...
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kathy a. said...

what is it with the spam in asian characters?