Thursday, November 20, 2008


First of all, this is a week deserving of more than chocolate. Yes, it is a donut week -- so enjoy! And thanks, Dr. Corndog, for your timeless masterpiece on donuts.

Group Hug Award to Purple Kangaroo, who is struggling with a big long list of lousy stuff, including (but not limited to) not driving and not having enough help. PK, the Pixies love you, and we’re all here for you.

"Fireplace That" Award to Sue, who had to see Dr. Grumpy, because her headache decided to make an encore appearance, and she cannot blog about it because it is insufficiently cheerful news for the self-appointed blog monitor at her church. Cluesticks, again, for the buttinsky parishioner.

By overwhelming popular vote, the Style Award goes this week to Liz, for her song, "Lost that busy feeling." Esperanza was the first to generously offer send some of her busy-ness right over.

Elevated Risk of Mullet Awards to Margalit, for "Lysistrata Home Game" (thanks, Amy, for the nomination); and to Redzils, whose careful research led her to realize her home is actually a "garret."

The Old Skool Award to Esperanza, whose ECI person managed to make her feel incompetent, when we are certain she meant just the opposite and was struggling for any suggestions to make. The parents among us are nodding and recalling when that happened to us, one setting or another.

Happy Dance Award to Klee, whose demon child was moved to another classroom.

Spousal Angst Award to CCW, with a complimentary visit from the Cluestick Posse. Also, scritches to cute little Lefty, the new member of the family.

"Baby Get Well" Award to JenR, whose little one has hand/foot/mouth illness – the name of which is enough to make a Pixie shudder in horror, as if the sickness and ER visit were not enough already.

"Thanks, Mom" Award to Amy, whose parental unit is flipping out and thinks Amy should abandon her own family and cook for Mom. This award comes with a special Early-Bird Ribbon for Amy’s Mom, who is starting the holiday family guilt-fest at a stunning pace.

Lifetime Achievement Award (fluid division) to Margalit’s darned cat.

Congratulations to Pixies with substantial anti-whines, including: getting Blogger to post; having someone pick up the phone and answer questions; good baby checkups; not having to shovel even though there is snow; approval of partial disability; writing and delivering something that rocks the place!; children back on the straight and narrow; kittens!; that feeling of solidarity that comes from everyone else being broke, too; good sleep; babies learning to sleep themselves!; wheelchair shopping carts; remembering whines past, and reveling in the fact they are in the past; dedicated hardworking kids; leaves getting raked; sick clouds eventually going away; falling in love with the wee one; and, a personal favorite of ours, getting past the double-barreled complaints from the grandparents about major baby decisions. Yay!

Condolences to Pixies with whines ranging from the medical to the emotional to the family to inadequate public accommodations. Thanks for playing, and see you next week!


Anonymous said...

wow, i didn't even realize it was early for family-holiday grief. i suppose i should feel lucky that the grief - albeit early - was not preceded by several days of waiting for it to begin. 'cuz that's just an extra kick in the pants.

lovely awards, by the way, as always.

Madeleine said...

Marvelous awards, as ever, kathy.

In my experience family holiday guilting can begin 6 to 8 weeks in advance, when we begin negotiations over whether the paranoid delusional cousin in poor health will come or not. It's looking like not, at this point, despite the offer of a ride. But sometimes that changes at the last minute!

Gary said...

Wonderful ceremony, Kathy A! As part of my ongoing mid-life crisis, I've been wondering what my obituary will look like. If the phrase "timeless masterpiece" makes it in there somewhere, that will make me a happy dead man. Thank you for that, and pass me a maple-frosted.

I didn't make it over for the whining yesterday, but, speaking of masterpieces, I totally concur with the Style Award for Liz's righteous ode to workplace boredom. If she were any more stylish, she'd need to have a Fall show in Milan.

kathy a. said...

Well, see, nobody *whined* earlier about the holiday guilting, so Amy's mom gets the early-bird prize. However, the overall family guilt prize could, by the end of the festive holiday season, be a 97-family tie, forcing the host to resort to sub-categories: originality; dog-related; menu-specific; bad presents; etc. One never knows.

Gary, I'll see your maple-frosted and raise you a chocolate-iced old fashioned, the traditional cure for dental procedures. OK, it's just my cure. Here is my life philosophy: When, in the course of human events, somebody pokes sharp things into one's gums, there must be an adequate protest, even if it is private, or simply shared with a lot of semi-anonymous people on the blessed internets. Are we not human? Thus, the donut.

Liz Miller said...

Thank you for the style award, and thank you, Gary, for "If she were any more stylish, she'd need to have a Fall show in Milan." which has just boosted my LLBean-flannel-lined-jeans-wearing ego.

Sue said...

mmmmm.....maple-frosted. *drools*

Great awards Kathy a. as always.

Unknown said...

LOVE the award for the Worthless Pet. Made me laugh out loud so loudly that my son had to come and see what was so funny. It's kinda hard to explain. Um, yeah!

purple_kangaroo said...

Mmm, now I want a donut.

Thanks for doing a great job hosting, Kathy A.

And more hugs to all the pixies, and more thank-yous.

I saw the rheumatologist today. It was a good appointment I think, and he is willing to take me on as a long-term patient. He won't be my PCP, but he'll be my rheumatologist. So I have a rheumatologst now--yay!

And, the lady who is going to work for me 5 hours a week providing household help came over today. She likes the kids and the dog, and vice versa. So that's good. And I think she'll be a big help. And, I can already tell she's going to mother me. Which probably isn't a bad thing. :)

But, she said that she thinks I really need someone to live in and be available a lot more of the time, not just someone to come in for a few hours a week. So she will help me out until I find someone who can do that.

Also, my wonderful neighbor reminded me that she and her two little girls would be happy to have my girls over to play any time I need a few hours' break. I don't want to overuse that, but it's so nice to have it available. She's someone I trust to have my kids over, so I need to somehow make myself remember that it's an option on days like yesterday.

And, several people in our homeschool group have asked if they can have my kids over to play and give me a break, too. And several of them are passing along the word that I'm looking for live-in help.

So this is good.