Friday, December 26, 2008

Holly Jolly Awards

Happy Holidays to all, and wishes that you all survived mostly unscathed.

Awards this week are as follows:

Whine of Substance: Margalit sweeps the category with a headache-inducing (and well deserved) rant about her lovely daughter and the ruining of Hanukkah. Margalit, I'm so sorry. Having a child behave badly is bad enough, but during the holidays, it seems especially bad. Please don't cry anymore. All of us at WW love you, and wish you the best. And some rest from the bad attitudes.

Old Skool: Amy wins with her late-breaking whine about all the Christmas excitement turning the obvious potty clues into just another festive dance. Poor Mommy -- no rest for the wicked, right? I'm sorry that the Tot's brand new princess tent is all ... um ... soiled. Along with the carpet.

The Bodily Fluids Award goes to: Esperanza, and her woes about the leaky pouches of precious breast milk. You know, this is just Murphy's Law at work, right? If you had never decided to stop breastfeeding, those bags would never have leaked and had you continued to breastfeed, those bags would have been harder to get into than Fort Knox. Can you maybe rip open the bag and thaw it in a bowl or some other container? I hope you're able to save them -- that's a lot of effort down the drain....

The "What Brown *Isn't* Doing For Me" Award goes out to Sue, for her whine about the fireplacing UPS people who LOST her son's Christmas gift. Sue, I'm SO sorry! And, it doesn't matter that he's an adult -- he's STILL your son, and you still went to the effort to find him a great gift and ship it so that it would arrive in time for the holidays. I have to say that if UPS lost one of my packages, I'd be scorchingly mad, so this is a whine that hits close to home with me. Also, I second the firing of the cleaners who don't actually clean.

The Coveted "Elevated Risk of Mullet" Award goes, by popular acclaim, to Sara for her snort-inducing comment about her Uberboss: "Tell me what point I'm writing to support and I can find the literature and craft you a linguistic jockstrap of an argument, but don't ask for a jockstrap and then tell me you *meant* for me to write you a bra." Fireplacing bosses! Next time, warn us that you're about to be hilarious -- cookies in the sinus cavities hurt an awful lot.

Esperanza wins the newly-minted "Holiday Hell" award for having the Griswalds as neighbors. Neighbors who like to decorate their yard with miles of plastic crap *and* blare badly done handbell carols into the wee hours. Boy, I'll bet that makes life SO much fun! And that's not even *mentioning* the sick hubby or the having to wear hose and heels for Christmas!

Liz gets a special Christmas-themed "Mean Mommy" award for still trying to instill values into her son during the holidays. You are a TERRIBLE person, Liz! How DARE you not let your son act up during the holidays?! What's wrong with you? I hope MM got over his major case of the grumps without further incident. And -- you know you're a great mom, right?

I hope that everyone had a good holiday, and that our WW community continues to flourish and grow here. Our ministers in the crowd know the value of fellowship, and that's what WW means to me, at least. I hope that we can keep it going for a long, long time. That being said -- there's no host yet for next week's awards. Is there anyone out there willing (or champing at the bit) to moderate?


esperanza said...

Man, you know you've been whiny when you win more than one award.

I am saving the milk, don't fear. Putting the leaky bags into a big ziploc bag, sitting in a bowl. Ha! The last two haven't leaked...the others might have had a few too many slippery falls out of the freezer onto the kitchen floor at some point in their career.

And it was a false alarm on hubby's part. Early whining,sorry.

Hope everyone's New Year's week is less whine-inducing.

kathy a. said...

lovely ceremony, klee!

purple_kangaroo said...

Wow, I wish I'd known whining was open until today. I didn get a chance to pop in on Wednesday, and then I thought I'd missed it. I guess I'll just have to save the whines for next week.

Lovely awards, and hugs to all the pixies.

liz said...

Lovely ceremony, KLee!!

I am no longer a mean mommy. MM loved his presents and he's been an angel since Thursday.