Thursday, July 31, 2008

Awards: The "How Can I be Planning for Fall when the Heat Index is 95ยบ" Edition

I am so sorry these are so late. See title and last bit of whining for insight into my day.   But let us all remember what it is all about and award some prizes.  

A great big Mazel Tov to Liz for finding her own Shiny! New! Job!!  

Plenty of hugs and tissues to Kathy A for surviving her mother's funeral.  

Margalit came round to say that the Cluestick Brigade has made progress with respect to her daughter's education.  

Redzils gets lots of wine as she works to establish a workable relationship with her boyfriend and to supplicate the Gods of The IRB with.  

KLee gets lots of yogurt because with any luck, her doc has her on some good antibiotics for that awful earache.  

Sarah at Ratatat and Diane get time machines to speed/slow their baboos' impending arrivals as needed.   Best wishes on the rest of your pregnancies!

Sue gets her own personal masseuse fairy because if she can't have opiates for her head pain, she ought to be getting lots and lots of body work.  I hope this time passes quickly for you.

Uccellina also gets use of the Time/Space Vortex machine so she can both earn the bacon for her family and still have time to help care for her twins when Papa needs a break.

JenR is this weeks recipient of the Cluestick Brigade's services.  We are here to whack any and everyone who feels the need to tell you that you don't "need" to work.   Like your financial system is up for a vote or something...sheesh!

Hugs and chocolate for everyone else as this week's brigadoon sails into the ether.   The marvelous Madeleine will return next week to host the Whiner's Ball.  Have a lovely week!

Tuesday, July 29, 2008

WW: Deer-in-Headlights Edition

Hi, Pixies. I feel like it's been ages but it has only been two weeks. You see, I finally have a firm offer of employment for Dream Job and I am now trying to juggle school schedules, after-school enrichment schedules, transit schedules, and, oh yeah, employment schedules. I have not a doubt in the world that I will do very well in my new job given that it seems tailor made for my strengths and abilities but I am seriously confused by the array of lifestyle choices I need to make.

Do I work a regular work schedule or take the alternative work schedule where I could have one day off in ten?

How do I transport my children to school, who do not have a bus or before school care at their school, and still make the transit stop that will get me to work?

How dumb would I have to be to drive to work when I would have to pay for parking and gas when work will subsidize transit?

When do I plan on buying groceries and cleaning the house? With my children's health issues, this is a must.

What about some me time? Will I ever get to exercise again?

I'm going to sit over here, with a vat of coffee ice cream, in total paralysis while you share your worthy (and not so worthy) whines this week. As always, prizes for creative whines, substantive whines, and egregious minor whines.

Thursday, July 24, 2008


Somehow Kathy's mother dying and her sister being utterly clueless that hospice = impending bad news didn't leave her in the mood to be clever and witty. So I'm pinch hitting on the awards. I'm afraid they're not going to be very witty in any case. Kathy, I'm so sorry. Please know that you're in all of our thoughts, and prayers for those who pray. And wishing you an easy time as you deal with the aftermath...

Old skool whine award for Miranda and her mosquito bites.

Mullet award for Liz and "the best thing about the amount of public nudity involved in childbirth is that it totally destroys any qualms you might have had about people walking in on you while you're pumping at work." (Although I'm not sure it's true -- there's something different about being seen with bits hanging out by someone you work with every day vs. someone you're never going to see again).

Hugs and a flyswatter for Margalit, who is still dealing with illness, lying school administrators, slothful kids, lack of money and *shudder* maggots.

A cluestick and their missing sense of perspective to Jenevieve's parents for kicking her (and her 10 month old!) out without any notice. Good luck sorting things out.

Wishes of no needles for Amy, and of cool days to all who are big with child this summer.

Yay for klee and her anti-whines, and congrats to sue for selling her house, and the possibility of having her head not hurt.

And the "funnier when you read it without enough sleep award" to Diane, whose "I still don't think my first or last choice for a job would be to stick a catheter in but hey - everyone is different, right?" I read as "I still don't think my first or last choice for a job would be to stick a catheter in butts."

Have a good week, stay cool, stay dry and we'll be back next week.

Wednesday, July 23, 2008

Midsummer Whine-O-Rama

My cats say this is Not Funny, but I can see them snickering behind their
little whiskers and paws.

So, here we are, weeks past the fireworks and weeks before school starts again. Let's rock and roll. I'm sure there are worthy whines on all fronts: domestic, vacationary, professional, neighborly, cluestick-ish, fluid-esque, weather-wise, big fat whines and lovely bitsy ones.
Special credit will be given for Style, Mullets, Dan Ratherisms, and Old Skool, or any category of your invention. Your host is humor-deprived this week, so please pass extra helpings of the goofiness.

Thursday, July 17, 2008

Some Awards for Some Doggone Worthy Whines

This will be brief because I also need to cook for four days of the wilderness after spending all afternoon at the community festival held outdoors with shade. Did I mention that thunderstorms are predicted for the entire weekend? The saving grace is that the kids agreed to the following rule: After we help Mom set up, we are to not bug her until it is time to tear down the campsite. Quarreling and/or unruly children will be left on the interstate.

Gary, in true Old Skewl fashion, laments to presence of the fireplacing Pokemon cards in his house. Gary, you have my sympathies as my oldest was part of the original craze ten years ago.

The Aegean Stable Award (thanks, Gary!) goes to KLee for the 27 trash bags removed from her daughter's room, Kathy A and her tower of tissues, and Margalit for her whole house needing help on account of her home health aide's absence.

The Cluestick Posse has been assembled to deal with Sue's Headache Monster since her medical team hasn't been much help, Purple_Kangaroo's inappropriate neighbor, Amy's humorless OB, Elizabeth's naughty iTunes program, and JenR's dad for keeping her hanging with respect to day care arrangements this fall.

Special honorable mentions go to Madeleine and the terrible, horrible, no good, very bad experience with her mother in law's toilet, Liz and her continuing job search, and to Kathy A's family dealing with her mother's failing health.

That's it for this week. Come play next week when crowd-favorite Kathy A takes the whiny helm.

Tuesday, July 15, 2008

Bring Out Your Whines: Dog Days of Summer Edition

Good afternoon, Pixies! How is life treating you? While you tally up this weeks whines and anti-whines, I would like to pose a question. Given that we are comfortably ensconced in first world comfort, how is that our idea of a family get away includes leaving behind every thing that makes life less miserable? For four days, the Miranda clan and Friends Galore will be sleeping in tents and sharing a restroom/shower with hundreds of new people. There will be no air conditioner and light will be by fire pit. We will be eaten alive by this year's crop of killer mosquitos.

And we are excited and eager to embrace this experience. (?!?!?!?!?!)

I blame the heat. Place your blames in the comments below and please remember to vote for worthy whines of substance, wit, and hilarity.

Thursday, July 10, 2008

Awards! Racing to pack for Vermont Edition

MM and I are taking Amtrak tomorrow morning to see my sister! 10 hours on the train each way! But for only $270 total roundtrip for the two of us! Woot!

So...onto the awards, Speedy Gonzales fashion

Old Skool: Goes to Magpie whose husband is losing his shit over dust. Dust!

The Whining Works Award: Goes to Esperanza who whined about referrallessness (sp?) and got a referral!

Bringing the Bodily Fluids: Madeleine's daughter gifted her with "two duffles full of damp, sandy, urine-scented clothes and bedding. Even the stuff that was folded-unworn was wet, sandy, and smelly." It doesn't get much more fluidy than that.

Runner up in this category: KLee! Whose baby daughter just started her period! Yipes!

The Dear Universe: WTF Award: with oakleaf clusters (named, naturally, by Gary) goes to Sue. Bad reactions to medications leading to hospitalization leading to lack of birthday-gift shopping opportunities and a GP who has decided his ego is more important than his patient's pain management. Oh! And a troll. I'm glad that you are going to see your 26 year old baby boy. We are all sending love and pain-free wishes to you.

The Inigo Montoya Award for Best Summation of a Whine: Goes to Andy. "My cat has been discovered. I've got until the end of the month to move or get rid of him. Gyah."

This week we have a tie for Elevated Risk of Mullet:

Kathy A. for "mom's docs are hopeful they can avoid surgery with the judicious use of nuclear laxatives. (wonder if they would consider off-label use for sue's bunch?)"

Madeleine: re: Sue's GP "And shouldn't your two doctors be out back with a ruler deciding who wins, instead of putting you through agonizing experiments? Or could they at least talk on the phone?)"

The They Didn't Cover that Commandment in Sunday School Award: Goes to Madeleine for "Thou Shalt Not Cook with Red Sauce Immediately After Paying Someone to Clean the House."

We need to bring out the Cluestick Posse for Amy, whose husband still doesn't know where the four-year-old's dishes go; for Sarah at Ratatat whose son's daycamp counselor is a flake of titanic proportions; and for Margalit's client who will get a visit from DSS if she doesn't cut the shit. Margalit's son could use a clue-by-four upside the head too.

And that's it for this week! Tune in next time when our host will be....Kathy A.!

Tuesday, July 8, 2008

Wednesday Whining: Happy Anniversary to Us Edition

A year ago, a group of whiners raged raged against the dying of the light. We did not go gentle into that good night and thus this incarnation of Wednesday Whining was born.

We intended to keep it simple:

Each week, a volunteer moderator will be the primary host of the
celebration, in charge of setup and cleanup. A Wednesday Whining thread will be
posted on Tuesday night. Whining will end Thursday morning and comments will be
closed. There will be a brief concluding post on Thursday, awarding limited
prizes only: [1] Style; [2] Old School; and [3] "Elevated Risk of Mullet."

but somehow, we just couldn't.

Phantom, I know I speak for all of us here when I say that the first award is still yours. We are lonely for dat. I miss you enormously and I think of you all the fireplacing time. I am grateful that you allowed us to continue in this space and I, for one, have had a wonderful time* as occasional host and have the greatest respect for you for having done it Every! Week! for so long.
Let the whining commence!

*edited to put the link I had intended to put here instead of the one I had already put elsewhere.

Thursday, July 3, 2008

A Firecracker of Prizes!

In honor of our three-day weekend, and for all of the mental and mood-inducing fireworks we see each week, I give you this week's prizes!

This week, In the "Whine of Substance" category, our winner is Uccellina! Going back to work is hard, hard, hard. I'm sorry that you had a little meltdown in the process, but it was completely understandable! However, any pediatrician worth his/her salt would know how wrenching it is for a mommy to go back to work, and would not have added insult to injury by telling you your child looks "malnourished"! Well, let's just say that we've fired up the cudgels, cluesticks, and nunchucks should you need us to form a Cluestick Brigade.

"Style Award" goes to kathy a. and her melodious rendition of "Ants!" As if the ants weren't bad enough, she apparently has them in her pants! That could be fodder for next week's Anniversary edition! Honorable mentions in this category also go out to: Miranda, Margalit, and Sue for each bravely battling the ant hordes. (As an aside, I don't know whether it works, but I have a friend who swears by a line of cinnamon -- sprinkle it in their paths, and it sends them scurrying. And, if it doesn't work, the worst that happens is that your house smells like pie.)

The HUGE Anti-whine "Official Free Breather!" Award goes out to the Sweet Baboo, who is now off the oxygen! We're all so happy for Baboo and Esperanza!

The coveted "Elevated Risk of Mullet" award this week is awarded to the slightly damp Liz for her succinct sum-up: "I have a lot of buckets." Sorry about the rain and the leaks. Hopefully the rain in your area will end soon, giving you time to get that fixed. We'll all pray for dry weather for you.

In a category close to my own heart, I hereby award the "Morton's Salt" prizes for the whines that just keep coming. Recipients are:

Sue, for the Headache Pain Of Doom, now with Mood-Screwing Action! We need a doctor that's willing to see Sue, get her some help for these blasted headaches, and STAT! Sue, I don't see how you've hung on as long as you have. We all love you, very much, and hope to see you pain-free in the immediate future.


Margalit, who is also dealing with headaches on top of power outages, no telephone, and the asshats in her school district. I have never heard of people who want to keep kids *out* of school so badly! What the hell is wrong with them? Gather all that information, and contact an attorney. Hopefully, one that's a bloodthirsty shark (apologies to any JD's out there in our crowd) who will attack without mercy. May they also have repeated blessings on the noggin from the All-Mighty Cluestick!

Honorable mentions:

Purple-Kangaroo and her flare-up. Many hugs, and lots of rest for you. Hopefully, you will be able to find someone to spell you for a while. Here's hoping that Neighbor Girl *does* show, and that the kids are occupied, happy, and quiet.


Sarah at ratatat for reliving middle school and feeling socially fragile. I can certainly understand how you can talk yourself into feeling bad about certain situations, but I wouldn't worry about it right now. You probably *do* need a break after having been overextended with family obligations. And, if you have family like mine, you should be given a medal for attendance at said family functions. Not to mention that you're pregnant! I say to heck with them all!

Thanks to all who whined this week, from sunburns to weight gain, sleeplessness and storms, sore throats and missing spouses. May you all have extra days off, and may your skies instead be full of fireworks rather than your lives. Tune in next week when we celebrate WW's anniversary. I hope by that time there's a host!

Tuesday, July 1, 2008

The Pixie Party, Independence Edition

Hail, Pixies! It's time, once again, to partake in that most patriotic of institutions: Wednesday Whining! We, as (mostly) Americans are free to shake off the oppressive mantle and bewail our burdensome baggage to all and sundry. Our friends in other lands who are lucky enough to enjoy the most sacred right of free speech are welcome to join in.

Disregarding the politico-speak, what that really means is: Hey, ya'll! You got any whines you wanna share?