Thursday, July 3, 2008

A Firecracker of Prizes!

In honor of our three-day weekend, and for all of the mental and mood-inducing fireworks we see each week, I give you this week's prizes!

This week, In the "Whine of Substance" category, our winner is Uccellina! Going back to work is hard, hard, hard. I'm sorry that you had a little meltdown in the process, but it was completely understandable! However, any pediatrician worth his/her salt would know how wrenching it is for a mommy to go back to work, and would not have added insult to injury by telling you your child looks "malnourished"! Well, let's just say that we've fired up the cudgels, cluesticks, and nunchucks should you need us to form a Cluestick Brigade.

"Style Award" goes to kathy a. and her melodious rendition of "Ants!" As if the ants weren't bad enough, she apparently has them in her pants! That could be fodder for next week's Anniversary edition! Honorable mentions in this category also go out to: Miranda, Margalit, and Sue for each bravely battling the ant hordes. (As an aside, I don't know whether it works, but I have a friend who swears by a line of cinnamon -- sprinkle it in their paths, and it sends them scurrying. And, if it doesn't work, the worst that happens is that your house smells like pie.)

The HUGE Anti-whine "Official Free Breather!" Award goes out to the Sweet Baboo, who is now off the oxygen! We're all so happy for Baboo and Esperanza!

The coveted "Elevated Risk of Mullet" award this week is awarded to the slightly damp Liz for her succinct sum-up: "I have a lot of buckets." Sorry about the rain and the leaks. Hopefully the rain in your area will end soon, giving you time to get that fixed. We'll all pray for dry weather for you.

In a category close to my own heart, I hereby award the "Morton's Salt" prizes for the whines that just keep coming. Recipients are:

Sue, for the Headache Pain Of Doom, now with Mood-Screwing Action! We need a doctor that's willing to see Sue, get her some help for these blasted headaches, and STAT! Sue, I don't see how you've hung on as long as you have. We all love you, very much, and hope to see you pain-free in the immediate future.


Margalit, who is also dealing with headaches on top of power outages, no telephone, and the asshats in her school district. I have never heard of people who want to keep kids *out* of school so badly! What the hell is wrong with them? Gather all that information, and contact an attorney. Hopefully, one that's a bloodthirsty shark (apologies to any JD's out there in our crowd) who will attack without mercy. May they also have repeated blessings on the noggin from the All-Mighty Cluestick!

Honorable mentions:

Purple-Kangaroo and her flare-up. Many hugs, and lots of rest for you. Hopefully, you will be able to find someone to spell you for a while. Here's hoping that Neighbor Girl *does* show, and that the kids are occupied, happy, and quiet.


Sarah at ratatat for reliving middle school and feeling socially fragile. I can certainly understand how you can talk yourself into feeling bad about certain situations, but I wouldn't worry about it right now. You probably *do* need a break after having been overextended with family obligations. And, if you have family like mine, you should be given a medal for attendance at said family functions. Not to mention that you're pregnant! I say to heck with them all!

Thanks to all who whined this week, from sunburns to weight gain, sleeplessness and storms, sore throats and missing spouses. May you all have extra days off, and may your skies instead be full of fireworks rather than your lives. Tune in next week when we celebrate WW's anniversary. I hope by that time there's a host!


kathy a. said...

lovely ceremony, klee! and thanks to all for suggestions on the ant invasion. they seem to have gone away today. it took 2 days of swiping the army up with formula 409 [on the kitchen floor] and murphy's wood soap [on the wooden dining room floor], plus hot pepper pressed into the crack they found for entry.

esperanza said...

The Baboo and I thank you. We also would like to celebrate that we have just had some strange wet stuff falling from the sky.

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