Thursday, December 20, 2007

Awards! Guest Presenter Edition!

Good evening, folks! Welcome to the Umteenth Hepdominal Whining Awards!

Tonight, we are presenting a special award to a woman who is not only stylish, but seasonal!

Here to present that award is our good friend - humorist, music critic, songwriter - Gary Oxford!

Gary: "Back when I started reading blogs, I never once imagined that the funniest thing I would ever read on a blog was an ode to how menstruation was interfering with the amorous activities of a couple of middle-aged lesbians, set as a parody of a holiday song."

Liz: "Let's take another look at the song, Gary."

Yankee T:

Oh, the periods they are frightful,
Menopause would be delightful,
But 'til you hit the big five-oh,
Let it flow, let it flow, let it flow.

It doesn't show signs of stopping,
So we might as well go shopping,
No need to turn lights down low,
Let it flow, let it flow, let it flow.

When we finally kiss goodnight,
We'll pretend that no sex is the norm,
And if you really hold me tight,
I'll try to ignore the red storm.

Your desire is slowly dying,
And the sheets, they are not flying
But since I still love you so,
Let it flow, let it flow, let it flow.

(There's always next week, right?)"

Gary: "Yankee T - you're my hero and deserving of the grand bull moose award of Lifetime Achievement in Stylish Whines."

Liz: "And Gary, here's your award - an extra-absorbant towel with which to remove nasal-blasted Chai tea from your iBook keyboard."

Liz: "And here's Kathy A. with some more awards."

Kathy A: "'Ain't work grand'...for Susan and Sara! [And] DMD! A Woman of the Year virtual trophy and a very sturdy lock for your office door!"

Liz: "And a year's supply of Bag Balm."

Liz: "And now, for Sue's doctor, we have the Advanced Medical Clue Stick. For Margalit, the WTF award, and for S. the coveted boomerang award for the fastest whine to anti-whine turnaround. Many hugs for you all dealing with toothaches, heartaches, and headaches (both literal and figurative). That's it for this week. See you at our special time next week when Kathy A brings Brigadoon early for Christmas Eve!


Miranda said...

Brava! A truly original awards ceremony, Liz!

Yankee T said...

Blowing Kisses At The Masses:

Thank you! Thank you!

margalit said...

Congrats to Yankee T. She also gets my Spitting out my Coffee on the Keyboard award.

First prize is a nice box of Always pads.

Gary Oxford said...

I'm honored to participate in such an august ceremony. Now where's my goodie bag?

Gary Oxford said...

What I meant to say is, "Where's the rest of my goodie bag?" because I love my award and I am one hoopy frood who knows where his towel is.

And Liz, writers' strike or not, I think you're ready to host the Oscars.

Lisa V said...

Yeah, I was just gonna say that Jon Stewart & Colbert are going to be asking you guys to pitch in until the writer's strike is over.

Yankee I love you.

kathy a. said...

brilliant award ceremony! gary, i'm throwing virtual confetti for the most masterful comment recognizing style!

liz said...

We all should totally storm the Oscars.

Uhhhh...except I've only seen Ratatouille, Shrek the Third, and Bee Movie this year. Are there any categories outside Animated Feature Film?