Tuesday, July 15, 2008

Bring Out Your Whines: Dog Days of Summer Edition

Good afternoon, Pixies! How is life treating you? While you tally up this weeks whines and anti-whines, I would like to pose a question. Given that we are comfortably ensconced in first world comfort, how is that our idea of a family get away includes leaving behind every thing that makes life less miserable? For four days, the Miranda clan and Friends Galore will be sleeping in tents and sharing a restroom/shower with hundreds of new people. There will be no air conditioner and light will be by fire pit. We will be eaten alive by this year's crop of killer mosquitos.

And we are excited and eager to embrace this experience. (?!?!?!?!?!)

I blame the heat. Place your blames in the comments below and please remember to vote for worthy whines of substance, wit, and hilarity.


kathy a. said...

Thanks, Miranda, for taking over this week. Hope you have a great trip!

Old Skool: just shoot my head off, this cold is winning the battle.

AW: kleenex and stupid comedies on DVD.

Big fat whine: Mom is still in the hospital. Tensions running high. My husband stopped me at "colonoscopy" yesterday, so I'll spare the gory details, but the possibility of comfort care has already been raised.

I'm sure there are some more anti-whines around here. They must have gotten lost in the kleenex blizzard.

Miranda said...


I hope for the best for your mom. Anything I could do to help, I will.

KLee said...

Ouch, Miranda. Skeeters *and* broiling in the heat with no hope of air-conditioned comfort for bedtime? You get the Glutton For Punishment award! :)

I'd like to nominate myself for second runner up for that award, because I, like a dumbass, decided it was high time that my daughter's room didn't look like hordes of shopping cart hobos were running a round of demolition derby in there. So, twenty-seven trash bags later, I'm hurting, but dammit, her room is clean. I told her I'm not helping her muck out if it gets like that again.

Kathy a., so sorry about your mom. I will pray for her, and for you.

Madeleine said...

I've told y'all about my propensity to clog toilets, right? Well, we're at my MIL's this week. I broke her house. My Love helped a bit -- he did the last flush, and then walked away from a full toilet and forgot that it is also incessantly running because the floater doesn't quite float all the way up.

We'll be paying for installation of a square of drywall for the basement bathroom's ceiling. It was badly patched by a friend after some previous mishap (not my fault!) but we are going to insist she have a professional do it this time, because it looked pretty bad even before we poked holes to let the water out.

And, out of three adults in the house, I seem to be the only one who cares that the toilet is running incessantly. Every time I pee I stand around waiting for the tank to refill so I can lift the floater back up . . . .

Miranda said...

KLee - TWENTY SEVEN TRASH BAGS?!?!?!?!!!!!! You deserve Mom of the Year for that.

I've cleaned Zilla's room many times. He explained to his sister (my step-daughter), who asked why his room was so messy, that he hates when people clean up, he can't find his stuff.

liz said...

Can I start with the anti-whines?

AW1: Spent the weekend with my sister and her family. Had the world's best time. EVER.

AW2: BIL took MM and my niece fishing and MM caught a fish!! First time out! Woot! It was a baby and they threw it back, but still! A fish!

AW3: My sister has two cats and a dog and doesn't vacuum much and I did not wheeze once all weekend. Nor did my eyes swell shut. Nor did my tongue itch at all. Miracle of Zyrtec? Allergies all gone? I don't know. I'm just thankful. Very very thankful.

AW4: Amtrak. I loves me some Amtrak. As God is my witness, I will never fly to Vermont again.

liz said...

And many many many hugs for Kathy A and family.

margalit said...

((((((((Kathy A)))))))))

Klee, I'm STILL tossing out the huge pile of trash bags I got from my kid's rooms. The garbage company only takes a certain amount of trash per week. Mountain was almost to the ceiling. But it was for two kids. Sigh.

Whine: My house has never ever been dirtier. Home Health Aide not here this week due to funeral, son has left such a mess it's just not worth arguing over any more. I'm just going to move. Anyone need a nice border who can cook?

Whine: Money. Lack of it. Behind in rent. Food sorely lacking. Kid wants tickets to some concert. I'm thinking milk might be more useful.

Whine: Nobody ever gets back to me. They say they will, but they don't. Then I have to call them and I'm phone phobic. When I call they are never there. Then they leave messages on MY phone which my daughter picks up and forgets to give me.

Whine: Daughter locked herself on the porch roof yesterday because she's a moron. Really, she is. She had both house and cell phone with her, so couldn't call me. So she called a friend who then emailed me. Of course I wasn't reading my email and kid was broiling on roof for about an hour before I finally found her.

AntiWhine: Had a perfect day in Maine. Yummies, new shoes 70% off at Bass outlet, beach, clams.

Whine: Son appears to have an intolerance to sea food. Lobster especially. Every time he eats it he throws up. And announces his regurgitation with blow by blow commentary. Because after all, who is not fascinated by the kid's barf?

Whine: Although my birthday was lovely, my friend DID NOT bring a cake. She brought cupcakes. I am still steamed. Who doesn't bring a cake? How cheap can you get?

AntiWhine: Said friend's husband signed the divorce papers. But ONLY after she threatened him with a process server that he would have to pay for. They are, bar none, the cheapest people on the planet. You need a crowbar to get bus fare out of their hands. OY!

Whine: Pediatrician's office has new voicemail from hell system. You can no longer reach a real human being. Or if you can, I can't figure out how. Plus, they DO NOT call you back. I need to make appts for kids echocardiograms. I've filled in the online forms twice, I've left phone messages. Into the void. I think it's time to see adult doctors anyhow.

Whine: We are looking for a kitty. One to keep our current cat company in his dotage. Average price for shelter cat of no known breed? $135. For a CAT? I think not. More for a kitten. Dogs are $350. Why get a rescue animal if you have to pay that much money? WTF?

AntiWhine: Daughter is whizzing through her summer school math class and hopefully will be getting an A.

Whine: School, although they promised in front of a large group of people, is refusing to pay for said summer school class. They are SUCH LIARS.

AntiWhine: Found a source of some AMAZING retro backgrounds for blogs. I'm going to make up a bunch of fall and holiday templates. I need to SELL THEM to make money. Anyone need a blog redesign for fall? Or the 'holiday season'? I've got some wicked Hanukkah designs. Plenty to choose from. Reasonable rates. Can do both Typepad and Blogger. I'm learning WordPress now. I've got all kinds of backgrounds. Hundreds to choose from in all sorts of themes, from travel to pets to girly stuff to florals to polka dots to cowboys and sports. And everything in-between. You name it, I've got a selection of backgrounds to choose from and will make a matching banner for your blog.

AntiWhine: Big Brother has started up again. It's pretty much the only reality TV I watch and I'm hooked. HOOKED, I say.

AntiWhine: Garden is spectacular. Lots of little green tomatoes, herbs are flourishing, and the only plants I'm concerned about are my zucchini, which are blooming like mad, but not setting fruit. Why? Do they hate me? Who isn't successful with zucchini? I feel like such a dummy.

And that's all there is. Love you guys!

kathy a. said...

cheers to everyone tossing trash bags! hey, it's not glamorous, but progress is progress.

i cannot say how many ways i love madeliene's prize-worthy story!

yay, liz, for a wonderful trip! i lurve amtrak, too. even on commute for work type trips.

margalit, so with you on the waiting for calls back. ugh.

um, my cat decided to bring the bodily fluids and etc. at about 4:00 a.m., in the form of hacking up a furball right next to my head. i believe my husband is losing patience with this cat, for some reason.

liz said...

Whine: I went for a job interview today for a job I think I would have enjoyed and just heard that they do not think I am a good match.

Anti-whine: The job was inaccessible to mass transit and on a road that is often jammed tight. So at least I won't have a horrible commute, right?

Sue said...

Hope you're feeling better soon Kathy. Summer colds *shudders*

margalit - *sigh* wish i could fix it all for you.

Klee - that's a lotta trash.

Anti-whine: visiting my son out west this week. Good for my soul.

Whine; Not so much good for my head, but I've done everything in my power not to whine or even mention it. except here, of course. So this is kind of subservice whining.

I F-ing HURT!

Home tomorrow. Until then, trying to breath deeply and stay in the moment.

At least I don't have any trash to take out...

Sue said...

Votes for madeleine for bringing the toilet woes and to kathy for pet body fluids.

Cat fur balls on the pillow - and your beloved is losing patience? I am puzzled. :)

margalit - I too am hooked on Big Brother. I try not to watch, but there is something appealing about knowing that some people are more fireplaced-up than I am.

purple_kangaroo said...

My neighbor came weaving across the cul-de-sac drunk at 10:30 in the morning yesterday, and proceeded to ramble without making much sense for a while about my daughters having--horrors--FALLEN DOWN riding their bikes yesterday (they were wearing helmets, and nobody got more than mild scrapes).

He then began hovering over my toddler, who was attempting to ride her tricycle, told her that she couldn't fall down on her bike, and then squeezed her thigh and said, "your bottom is too fat". Then he got all offended and upset when she cried and pulled away from him and his distillery-breath, and I told him that she didn't like his squeezing her leg and that we do NOT like to be so touchy-feely with people who aren't family.

I have asked him not to hug and touch my children before. Yes, this is the same neighbor I was whining about last summer.

purple_kangaroo said...

Margalit, I need a live-in nanny/housekeeper. We can't afford to pay much, but we'd give you room and board. ;-)

Sue said...

(((Liz)) sorry about the job. Way to look on the bright side though re: the commute situation. You definitely get the "Always Look On The Bright Side Of Life" award this week.

Aw rats, now I'll be whistling that tune all night.

Sue said...

My wonderful son just dropped me off at the airport hotel. I miss him already. My flight leaves at O Stupid O'Clock in the morning, so it makes more sense for me to stay out here and take the free shuttle in the wee hours of the a.m.

The trip has been great, but OMG does my head hurt. I'm off to lie down with some ice and gravol.

The trip has drained me completely, but I didn't want to miss a minute of it - I knew I would pay for it later in pain. Later appears to be now.

Catcha later pixies. Keep tossing those garbage bags!

Gary said...

Whine: My older son today traded a bunch of NBA basketball cards for Pokemon cards. I was hoping to go my entire life knowing nothing of Pickachu and the rest of those annoying fireplacers.

Anti-whine: I just cut my toenails and lost 5 pounds and half a shoe size.

I'd like to nominate KLee for the Augean Stables award, which consists of a #10 can filled with either ibuprofen or Jose Cuervo. Her choice.

amy said...

Request: cluestick for my OB, please.

This is, of course, nowhere near the cluestick-need some of us have had with regards to doctors, especially lately, but I still think she needs one. She has no sense of humor.

Background: Every time an ultrasound wand or doppler microphone touches my belly, my in-belly baby punches or kicks it. My favorite OB in the office laughs every time - Every Time. But not Dr. Serious.

I just went for a check up and, because I'm helpful, I told the doc where the boy had been kicking all morning so that finding the heartbeat with the doppler would be easier. So she put the goo on the other side of my belly. She no sooner touched my belly with the microphone than the boy punched it dead on, hard enough to make it move.

I laughed; Dr. Serious did not. But, how is that not at least kinda funny?

Maybe she's been in the business too long. Too bad for her.

Elizabeth said...

Whine: iTunes nearly ate my computer -- took much of the weekend to get it working again.

Anti-whine: Now have cool games on my iPod.

Whine: Trism is *dangerously* addictive.

Miranda said...

I just wanted to let everyone know that awards will either go up really early or will be done really late. It's one of *those* days tomorrow.

purple_kangaroo said...

Votes for Kathy A and Margalit. Sympathy to Klee and the other looking-for-punishment people, and everyone else.

JenR said...

It is a day late, but the post is still open, so I am going to whine...

My mom thought she might be able to watch my baby this fall so we wouldn't have to send him to day care. Or at least for part of the week. But my dad doesn't want her to because he might want to travel. She thinks dad will give in eventually, but for now she can't watch him. That is maybe why I am having a hard day. But it is what I expected, so I don't know why it's so hard. I keep wanting to cry. Or crying. It is hard because I want to be with him - I don't want to work. But I don't have that option, and I know that.

And... I can't even seem to do a good job at work, which sucks... not that anyone has noticed. So I feel crappy about that too. And I feel fat and tired and like I can't even keep my own stupid house clean, and it's not that big. I feel like we never have enough money even though I am trying so so hard to be good at getting the things we need for cheap and not buying other things. And now we will have to pay for day care too.

It is beat up on Jen day and I can't snap out of it.

Hugs to everybody who has real whines this week.

amy said...

I don't think that's a paltry whine. You're really having a tough time, and that stinks.

I remember when my daughter was born and my mom made me a promise that she'd come three mornings a week to take care of my chronically non-sleeping baby so that I could grab a nap/shower/etc. She came all of twice, not even in the same week. Each time she was supposed to come, she bailed at the last minute, so I was really left in the lurch - needing and expecting help and not getting it.

I didn't have it anywhere near as complicated and yucky as you do with this situation (now having to research daycare and possibly not needing it, feeling sad because so much about this situation is out of your control and it's going the wrong way, feeling like stuff just isn't working no matter how hard you try), and I remember crying every time. My husband even pointed out that this promise-bailing is completely within my mother's pattern of behavior, and I still cried every time.

You need a hug and a break. Hang in there - you are doing a great job, in spite of obstacles in front of you.

Madeleine said...

Ditto what Amy said, JenR. That is sucky, and the not knowing probably makes it worse, and then when he gives in you'll still be mad because he put you through all that trouble for nothing.

But, at least for the money side, I hope your mom does come through eventually.

Madeleine said...

Old Skool vote for Gary and teh Pokemon cards.