Monday, March 18, 2013

Spring Whining--Just Like Spring Cleaning, but More Fun

Amount of spring cleaning accomplished: 0
Amount of spring cleaning remaining: (how do you make that infinity sign?)

Insurance issues resolved: 5 or so
Insurance issues still outstanding: 1

School decisions made: 1 (for Mini)
School decisions yet to make: 1 (for Sweet)
School possibilities eliminated: 1
School possibilities remaining: 2

Errands run today, in just under 3 hours (including a lunch break): 6 (this is when I like the small town)

What's happening with you, pixies? I hear rumors that it is not spring everywhere. But we have already started searching out shady parking places, wearing sandals, and getting sunburned: sure signs that summer is coming.

P.S. Don't forget the discussion of Beekeeper's Apprentice has started over at the Book Club page.


Sue said...

Spring cleaning? Waaaay too soon for me to go there.

Also, can't get into anything relating to "spring" just yet. Yesterday morning the temperature was -23C with a windchill temp of -33C. That's equal to Fireplacing Cold on the Fahrenheit scale.

AW: feeling much better! The Leg of Doom is better but still numb and tingly.

AW: called my Dad because today is his birthday - we had a lovely time catching up on news. He sounds great!

W: hearing has not returned to my right ear yet.

W: friend passed away on Friday from the Fireplacing cancer. Damn. She was an actress and director and so full of creativity and life. She asked me to preside at a (non-religious but spiritual) gathering to celebrate her life. It is a honour to do so - will take place on Saturday.

kathy a. said...

Hey, Esperanza! Good numbers. Who cares about spring cleaning, anyway?

Sue -- glad you are feeling better, and that the Leg of Doom has improved. Hippo Birdie to dad! xoxo about the rest.

AW: All the things that absolutely positively had to be done today, they were. Extra info to someone I hope will be shielding me from Death Rays, also. And so forth.

W/AW: OMFG, had a long talk with the ex of SIL, and am trying not to collapse from ze sheer amount of clueless-osity. So, yes, there was some training involved. And I have given him a small but significant task, something only he can do right now.

AW: I did not use the fireplace word even once. W: head explode.

Major AW: Wednesday Book Club!

kathy a. said...

Also -- HIPPO BIRDIE to Liz! and many more, our friend. xoxo

Sue said...

Yes, Happy Birthday Liz!!!

Anonymous said...

Happy Birthday Liz!!!!!
Neighbor Lady

w/aw: another snow day here. Haven't decided yet whether that is a whine or an antiwhine. Ask me at the end of the day! ;)

JenR said...

Sad because I thought I had already read this month's book, but I was thinking of a different one.

kathy a. said...

JenR -- ok to weigh in, anyway! Also, it's a great book, and discussion will be up for 3 weeks or so.

AW: pride colors painted on a house across the street from those hateful Westboro people, on the Equality House.

Sue said...

By all means JenR - join us!

Woohoo for pride colours kathy a! Especially when it involves those hateful people.

esperanza said...

Sorry for exploding heads and death of friends.

It has been a horrible, terrible, no good day here for no pinpointable reason.

AW: Thanks to kathy a, I think, for the Sotomayor memoir recommendation. I can't put it down.

Sarah said...

Whine: my older daughter had a bump in the groin area develop over the weekend. She thought it interfered with walking. So to the pediatrician, who got all freaked out that it was on the labia and wanted a adolescent-specialist gyno to look at it. Except those people don't exist for today appointments and it probably was an abscess and it needed to be drained today. Maybe.

Pediatrician insisted we go to the local children's hospital ER. And while the hispital is great, I HATE THAT FIREPLACING ER with a PASSION. It's all the worst things of an ER plus rudeness. ARGH! 5 hours later she had a 15 min surgery and 2 hours after that, she could finally eat.

Lessons of whining: I don't really care if the pediatrician says I have to go there. I'm just going to my regular hospital. If they can get me an appointment I'll go, but not the ER.

W of my child: She didn't get to eat from 6:30am until 7 pm. And that's rotten. I think she should have eaten lunch, then gone to an appointment, then had day surgery the next day. This wasn't something we wanted to wait for a week, but an extra 12 hours...yes. I say yes.

Sorry probably not enough and too much detail. So tired.

Sarah said...

And Esperanza - hugs for the unbloggable. Or a good stuff drink, but maybe that's more for me.

Happy Birthday Liz.

KathyA - hope the talk with the clueless gave him a clue.

Sue - sorry about the gloom and cold, the loss of good friends, and the leg of doom. It seems almost too much with the "spring" that won't start tomorrow.

kathy a. said...

oh, sarah! well, i've got my cluesticks all warmed up for that ped ER. wtf? they are supposed to do better at a ped ER.

and your poor daughter. i venture to say that such a thing would be Not Happy Times for any of us; but at a younger age? aargh.

Sue said...

Sarah, how awful! I'm so sorry for you and your daughter. Sending relaxing and healing energy your way.

kathy a. said...

the big teaching U hospital says SIL's symptoms look just like huntington disease. (she does not have the family history -- it is genetic -- but her symptoms are the same.) my beloved hired a lawyer to do a conservatorship. still looking for appropriate placement.

kathy a. said...

i have complained long and hard about my SIL over the years. please know how very much i appreciate having a place to do so. please accept my apology for taking so much space and energy -- yeah, it has taken from all of you.

the "fH" part of the moniker is retired now. i've always believed she had problems, that at least some of her stuff was driven by illness. believng that someone is ill doesn't necessarily make dealing with a belligerent &/or plain difficult ill person a lot easier -- especially when they want you to do stuff for them because of some weirdness in their head.

but she really is very ill. and lately, she has become way more debilitated. there are some signs that i didn't really pay attention to, because all i was seeing was her disruptive behavior, and how that kept intruding on my own family. once that diagnosis came in, i went and looked at a bunch of information, even videos of characteristic movements that are part of what's going on -- and that has been there the last 6-8 years at least, and getting worse.

so, i kinda fireplaced up, not putting some things in the "what's going wrong" bin. on the other hand, i've wanted a full evaluation for freakin' ever, because i am not a doctor -- it just was not my choice to make. and the doctors she saw several years ago, when she was diagnosed with dementia -- they did not see it then, either. maybe they would have, if someone had noticed things like how she became uncoordinated, started falling, or the odd twitchy movements.

can't go back; can only go forward. it is a huge relief to have something like a diagnosis; some set of expectations and idea of what she really needs. also, among her losses is that she is no longer able to muster the fight against whatever -- people or things that piss her off.

esperanza said...

You did NOT fireplace it up. As I see it, you've been advocating tirelessly for her to get whatever help it is she needs. As you say, you are not a medical professional, and it's hard to notice/remember/report every little detail when some particular symptoms are so noticeable and problematic.

W: sunburn. Oops.

Sue said...

kathy a - hugs to you and your family - lots of hugs.

You most definitely did NOT fireplace up. Quite the opposite. You have advocated for SIL for years. You have no need to apologize about whines here - we understand.

Also, despite the difficulties, your SIL whines have always included the primary frustration of "Why can't someone help her???" You and hubby have been working for years toward what is best for SIL.

I'm just so glad that you have a diagnosis and a direction, albeit a challenging one.

Be kind to yourself.

liz said...

What they both said. Don't feel guilty for not doing the impossible. You've always done 100% of what you could do.

Thanks for the bday greetings everybody!!

Anonymous said...

Kathy a.--echoing everyone else.
She is so lucky to have you and your husband. And you have been tireless, even when it was not the easy thing to do, and even when it taxed your own resources. That is generosity personified.
It is largely because of you that she has a diagnosis and a path ahead now....
Well done, friend.

--Neighbor Lady

kathy a. said...

I heart Pixies. xoxoxo

Old Skool: forms! Apparently a brand new med exam with TB test is required for any placement. Also about 1/2" of legal forms. We're havin' some fun now.

AW: of all people, my ex-boss gave me a hot tip on someone to help us find a board + care in our area. I'm really grateful (again) for not burning bridges.

Sarah said...

KathyA - hugs and joining the chorus to say you've tried so hard. The diagnosis sounds like it will help going forward. And wow, the placement sounds like it will be a bear. Best wishes.

W/AW: Lots of fighting with the new boyfriend that I think we're done with. I think we're both scared and nervous and we just talk about it in such different ways we freak out the other person. It's mostly exhausting. I'm not even sure how to whine about it, except probably that I need some time in my head.

Anonymous said...

--Neighbor Lady

Sue said...


Sue said...

Aaaaaannnd there it is - the Trifecta of Misery. Lingering cough from flu, Leg of Doom, and (of course) Migraine last night.

Ugh. Head pain reduced enough to eat something this morning.

AW: My friend who passed away last Friday asked me to be the "Mistress of Ceremonies" at a gathering to celebrate her life. I am so honoured to do this for her.

It is my first "Not a Funeral" gathering and I'm really enjoying putting it together with her family and the creative community of which she was a part. It's going to be lovely.

W: She requested that guests wear bright colours. I'm assuming that black, navy and grey don't count. I need esperanza here for on-the-spot clothes hunting!!! (bargain prices appreciated!)

liz said...

Red. You need red. A nice red delicious apple red.

kathy a. said...


Sarah said...

Red and purple are winners (and quite an honor, you'll do great! :) but if you look great in green, it is so very springlike and that seems welcome in our northern climes.

kathy a. said...

((( sarah ))) Exhausting doesn't sound like a feature.

Go, us! This one consultant gave us 17 care home possibilities, and I have visited one and lined up 5 more for tomorrow. Plus, an old friend gave me the info about a place her dad stayed -- a place I visited already and love -- and pixie dust must be flying, because they have an opening, so add that to the list. Tomorrow I will be training my beloved and possibly also the ex in the fine art of vetting care homes, because I do not want to hear any bitching about this next decision.

liz said...

Here's a nice bright red suit

And here's another one.

kathy a. said...

toured 5 board and care homes, 4 of them with SIL's bothersome ex. W: the ex is somewhat delusional about goals. which part of "gravely disabled" and "severe dementia" and "in need of supervised care" is confusing? no, these placements will not just let her walk around the neighborhood alone. AW: some good placement possibilities!

big fat AW to balance the W's of the week: my good friend's retirement party is tonight!!! i really need to see a bunch of good old friends and celebrate.

Miranda said...

I used to really hate church. I mean, it offended me. I started going to church and most of my "cool" friends were incredulous that I could be a practicing church person. Fast forward 11 and a half years later, I am a very proud member of my church although I'm hesitant to tell other people about that for fear of the judgmentalness that often comes with those who think all Christians are what they see on tv.

I don't know why that is because whenever I tell someone of my church home, people always have positive stories about the ministers, the members, the building, the programs and the outreach we do.

AW: It feels really nice to belong to an organization that I can be proud of of without reservation.

The whines are the same as before so I don't want to repeat them for fear of boring everyone. Actually, I am kind of waiting for movement on those fronts so it seems silly to whine about it since I have done what I can and many of the issues are out of my hands at the moment.

Kathy, I am so glad SIL has some resources in her corner now. You and Beloved have worked so hard to get to this point. You never lost faith in a solution for her. You are amazing! And you even quit smoking during this! You are made of bedrock!