This week's edition of the Brigadoon is brought to you by the multiple overflowing bins of recycling out in the garage, an impressive collection made possible by missing the last two weekly pickups, plus spring break and kids home, plus a big family deal. Last Friday, I actually hauled the then-current collection out to the curb, not realizing the truck had already come and gone. Such is the wonderousness of my planning.
In additional whines: Daughter's saxophone was declared beyond hope by the fix-it guy, who thinks we're better off buying another one. Yeah, not happening right now; it's still playable, anyway. Daughter returned to college Monday, arising in a supreme state of grumpiness at 3:30 a.m. to finish packing and catch her shuttle. And, I got that stupid hideous cold that's going around, leading me to give up and go to bed at 3:00 p.m. the same day. Today's not much better. Please send tissues. Or shoot me.
Antiwhines: Son may have a new job, in bicycle distance of his house! Also, the fever from my cold attracted one of the big cats and both feral kittens to sleep on me for a while during the night. One of the kittens has actually let me pet him lately. Progress, baby.
What's the news with you this week, Pixies? Perhaps you have a true story worthy of The Hat, or one of the many other valuable prizes available this week.
32 comments:
W: I have a paper due Thursday which I haven't really started.
AW: It's on something I've already written about before so I am adapting and adding a whole bunch to.
AW: I've written a speech for commencement and submitted it to the committee. Maybe they'll pick me!!!
Sending tissues to Kathy.
Oy. Bad situation at work. Friend in crisis. Still fat.
That pretty much sums it up so far for me.
Daughter went back to school part time this week but they are treating her like a criminal. They do not allow her to be alone in the building, she can only come for classes but not lunch, she has to leave as soon as the classes are done, and may not be on the school grounds at all. One teacher followed her half way home to make sure she got there. She's been walking to school since 3rd grade. She can get there and back by herself. This is totally pissing her off, so she yells at me because of course, it is MY fault.
Son is starting to get his spring mania. He is SOOOO annoying. I am watching him closely and have a call into his shrink and his therapist. Excellent!
Weather here continues to boggle the mind. Hot, cold, rain, sleet, snow, hot, cold, rain... I cannot take much more of this. Will there ever be a spring?
Still in battle of my life with city hall. They are asshats. This weeks installment is when they told me that even though they gave me an abatement for several years of excise (extortion) tax, I still have to pay $400. OK, I write them a rubber check and they tell me that they hold all checks for 2 weeks, which is illegal in MA. They can only legally hold a check for 3 days. Because they hold check, which would have cleared today, I can't get my drivers license.
Went to RMV and got a legal MA ID anyhow. I can't drive on it (ahem) but since I am going on Friday morning to Washington DC to pick up the old/new car and I'm driving it back with a friend, I don't give a darn. I'm doing it. I need the freaking car and I can deal with a 2-week wait if it's in my driveway.
Son has a place to stay for the entire time I'm gone. Daughter has a place thru the weekend but not Sunday night. I'll be home Monday. She wants to stay alone. Every bone in my body says NO WAY, but I don't know what else we can pull off. Advice welcome. She's 15.5 and not particularly trustworthy.
Blogher ads are totally pissing me off. They pay nothing anymore. I need the extra $ to pay for blog hosting. I'm not happy.
*hugs* to Klee. I hope it gets better soon.
It's spring here, which would be lovely if I had time to go outside.
My pass/fail, stop/go paper is due in less than three weeks, I'm nowhere on the project. I can't work on it today because I have to go have an uncomfortable medical procedure, then teach a class... Shouldn't there be a rule where if they advise six advil before coming in, they are then required to prescribe the good drugs?
AW: I have a place to live next year (if I pass the prelims).
Where are all the pixies?
Well, I'm doing a W/AW combo on an issue I keep bringing up.
Spouse has a move date. It should make me happy since it is the best possible outcome.
But I'm not happy and I think that has to do with the fact that I am trying to accept that my entire life is changing.
Into what? I have no clue. I think it will be much better, once I get used to it.
Oh, the whine, the nipple-based whine:
I shouldn't complain, my babies are fine,
but woe! for these oversucked nipples of mine!
They're red and they're aching and ouchy times nine.
margalit, can you take your daughter with you on the car trip?
If not, can you ask a neighbor to check in?
Whine: we've been passing around the stomach bug. N's the only one who has reached pukage, but the rest of us have been feeling queasy on and off.
Anti-whine: We have power back to the washer and dryer, and are making progress in the kitchen.
Hugs to KLee and Margalit, and supreme style votes to uccelina for remembering what it's all about - with style!
W: It's only wednesday. I'm over this week already.
AW: Son is interviewing for an excellent job today and has a really good chance of getting it.
hugs to everyone. uccellina, so stylish!
margalit, we never once let our teens stay home alone overnight. as my old boss said, "Bad Things Happen." (not necessarily their fault -- accidents, plumbing emergency, power failure, people wanting to crash at a parentless house...) can you beg, grovel, trade favors with a friend or parent of one of her friends?
I am in awe of Uccellina's brain power, as well as her whine. Double votes. My dear and I were watching the "news" the other day, when the announcer meant to say that HC was on a "six city tour of Indiana," but what she actually said was "six titty tour." He DVR'ed it and it keeps cracking us up. Pathetic, no? Maybe that would help, Uccellina?
Whine...unable to keep pushing to the back of my mind the "possible genetic disorder" the baboo's NICU doctors were talking about. We go to the geneticist on May 1, and I'm starting to obsess. Being a teeny bit behind developmentally in some areas isn't helping me, either.
AW: I'm the only one that's worried...the rest of her doctors/therapists are quite happy with her progress.
AW: the return of sleep-through-the-night-baby has helped my life immensely.
esperanza, I hope everything goes well with the geneticist.
Six titty tour - hee hee.
Huge Anti-Whine: Our son got the job!! He just called to let me know (sweet boy!). I'm so very proud of him.
It is a full-time permanent position with our local university as the coordinator of the Gender Issues Center. The pay is fairly good and he gets the full benefit package. But most of all, he's doing work that he loves.
Yay!
It's been Wednesday all week here.
The highlight:
My new doctor told me that it's bad for my kids to spend a lot of time around me, because I've bascially been sick all their lives, and if children spend a lot of time around a sick person then illness will become their reality.
Whine of the work woes: I teach a movement/fitness class that addresses the health of not only the body but mind, spirit, emotions too. (It's called Nia, in case anyone is interested). It takes a very holistic approach to fitness and wellness and health. Like many mind-body classes, it is not especially cheap ($12/class on average). I happen to believe it's worth it. But today I got an email from one of my most dedicated students saying that she has joined L*fet*me Fitness for a mere $33/month, allowing 12 workouts/month and so she is not coming to Nia classes anymore. I'm supposed to compete with this? With impersonal treadmills and stairmasters and weight machines and with badly paid instructors (I know these places pay group fitness instructors shockingly *shockingly* little)?! Bah.
Sue-- what a cool job for your son! You must be very proud.
Margalit-- I'd go with your gut on this one and not let her stay on her own...one night, seems like a lot could go wrong. But I acknowledge it's hard to deny her, given that the school/teachers are not trusting her at all (following her home? seems excessive to me!).
Uccellina-- I must say, terribly terribly stylish for such a hurty phenomena!
(((( esperanza )))) who could not worry? but i hope the consult turns out ok. please do not fret too much about developmental variations in infants, especially a baboo who has had some medical issues. xoxo
(((( purple kangaroo )))) well. that's not very encouraging or helpful, for you or the kids. you are a good mom, and have some great kids -- did the doc have any positive suggestions? xoxoxo
sheesh, turtlebella -- hope she finds out the treadmills are not the same.
yay, sue [and sue's boy]!
Kathy A, the doc was rather insistent that I need to put my kids in school. Although she's never met them. When I explained how far ahead they are academically and that we have lots of social activiteis, she said they need to be in school so that they're spending most of their time around healthy people, instead of around someone sick.
She also initially refused to refer me to a rheumatologist (the area of specialty FMS falls under) because "There would be no point, because there's no cure, and a specialist isn't going to be able to do anything to make you feel better either."
She did finally agree to refer me for a "second opinion" when I told her I needed a confirmation of the diagnosis from a specialist in case I decide to file for disability. Sigh.
Oh, and she suggested I might consider trying an addictive, side-effect-ridden medication that's actually used to treat a completely different condition, soleley because she once saw it be helpful for a patient who had fatigue and malaise for a few months (sounded like the typical stuff that goes along with depression, which is probably why an anti-anxiety/anti-depressant helped the girl).
And, as doctors always do, she told me that she was impressed with my attitude and the way I'm managing my illness, and that it's pointless for me to see a doctor (because I'm doing more for myself than they can do for me, anyway) except to get stuff like kidney function monitored once a year or so. The normal stuff.
Sorry . . . I'm trying to correct the typos as they happen, but apparently missing some.
eh, PK. no worries about the typos. a good friend of mine has firbromyalgia and some other auto-immune stuff, and it is terrible to work through. i'm glad the doc recognized that you are doing a great job managing this thing!
i never had the patience or felt i had the ability to home-school, and had other things going on. i know that home schooling means a lot to you. we also never thought regular school covered what our kids needed, so basically all our spare time went to the extras.
you definitely need to make choices that you feel are right for you and your family. but i wouldn't count it as a failure if you tried regular school plus all the extras you give your kids -- not in the least. especially if it gave you the oomph to do the extras you want to do. just a thought. xoxox
We're definitely considering all the options at this point, including regular school. But if we decide to do it I certainly hope it won't be because it's bad for the kids to spend too much time around a mother who isn't in the greatest health, KWIM?
ugh, p_k...that doctor sounds uber-not-constructive/helpful! I say second opinion cos hers doesn't sound really great, in my not-at-all-knowledgable opinion. But saying that NO ONE is going to be able to help you and that you are damaging your children by having them around you?! That's crappy advice, I think. You are smarter than she is, it sounds like, not least of which you said no to that drug. At least she gives you credit for knowing your own body. But offering this quasi-psychiatric advice about your kids, without having met them, etc etc - a bit outside of her realm (okay, I'm worked up about this, sorry, but it seems wrong for her to know what is best for YOUR children!).
PK, I'm not sure if you've ever read the blog, fat health but I've learned from that site that doctors can be just as biased as anyone else and often don't know what they're talking about.
It sounds to me like your doctor is anti-home-schooling and ignorant about your condition. Get a second opinion about both.
You are doing a wonderful job with your girls. If you decide to send them to school, so be it, but don't let that idiot doctor guilt you into it.
what liz said.
Oh, thanks everyone. It's one of my head/heart dilemmas...brain says, "don't worry, she's a preemie, she'll get it, she's doing well in other areas." Heart says, "but what if something's really wrong with my baby?" Heart + not enough sleep + extra stress beats out brain every time.
Replying to everyone. Daughter is NOT staying home alone. OMG, no way. She's staying with friends. She'll miss a day of school. It will be fine.
PK, I hate to be so blunt but your doctor is an idjit. I'm home with chronic illness raising 2 kids and part time homeschooling 1 of them. If my doctors (I have legions of them) every said anything like that to me, I would raise the roof. It's just plain ignorant. Time for a new doc, me thinks. And after you leave the practice, a letter to old doc telling him why you left would be welcome.
Esperanza: did this as well, and my daughter ended up not having any genetic problems (but I do). Her problems turned out to be birth related, and she was behind the first year and then caught up and surpassed other kids. Preemies take time to catch up. Give her tme and she'll be fine.
If something IS wrong, you'll deal with it. You'll deal with it the best way you know how, and you'll be fine. Having kids who aren't 'normal' doesn't mean that you miss anything on the mothering cycle. You get it all...but sometimes it just different. It will be fine. The doctors tend to give you worst case scenarios. Just trust your baby to overcome, and get yourselves to Early Intervention if you haven't already. Being a preemie, she automatically qualifies. Hugs.
for what it's worth, esperanza -- my baby sis was born at 2.5 lbs. in 1965. she wasn't supposed to live back then, but she fooled them. now she is 42, has college and grad degrees, is a terrific aunt to my kids, and i love her as much as i did back when she first came home. still remember bottle-feeding her and changing diapers.
Major hugs for you Esperanza.
whine: being unappreciated at work sucks. having a boss that is a complete moron sucks. having a boss that you bust your butt for but who has no idea because he is such a moron that he thinks that when he asks for the moon on a silver platter you just call the moon store and order one up sucks.
antiwhine - he is only one boss of many and the rest are pretty okay (even if they never get me anything for admin asst day!)
major positive thoughts for all of you - it sounds like March didn't leave like such a lamb afterall!
PK - after all the wonderful advice you gave me last week I feel obligated to give you some (no matter how unqualified I am)Without knowing any of the facts I could see your dr's point of view. BUT - let me repeat that BUT - we all know there is more to the story. You don't sit around and moan, "woah is me" all day - you don't keep the girls inside every day with excuses of "sorry girls, mommy is just too sick to let you play outside" Yes - you have to make some sacrifices - but who doesn't? You are a great mom doing the best you can (and better than a lot I'm sure - I heard someone here actually had their 2 year old licking the fridge the other week! sheesh! you could be her!) and the girls are most certainly not going to be scarred any more than that doctor's kids in public school! :) What about asking some of your local fellow home schoolers for any recommendations for a primary care dr? I would think the more homeschooling families they see the more accepting of it they probably are. Okay, that's enough of my soap box for one day.
Oh PK, that just sucks. Your doc is stepping way outside of her realm of expertise with those comments about your children being at home with you. Did she stop to think about how your children will be inspired by their mother who put so much of her limited energy into their schooling and nurturing?
I'm ready to form a posse and show that doc the clue stick.
My stepmother's sister's late husband had MS. They had 4 kids together and she home-schooled the youngest two. They were around my uncle all the time during his sickest period and are all very grateful to have had that concentrated time with him. The oldest of the four is my age, the youngest is 20. Any mishigas that they exhibit comes from my aunt who is eccentric, not from the fact that my uncle was so ill.
Not really a whine, more of a heavy sigh as I resign myself to debt-bondage in order to pay for various aspects of parenting special needs children and likewise resigned to never sleeping through the night again.
(((esperanza))) FWIW, with a 27 weeker and a 25 weeker of our own, we have found that the medical professionals have been wrong more often than they have been right. Good luck at the geneticist.
(((( that mommy ))))
Hugs to all and thanks to everyone for your sweet and encouraging comments. The medical establishment can be so frustrating . . . I'm glad to have the Virtual Pixie Posse around to share the ire. :) I read and re-read everyone's comments several times, but don't have the time/energy to reply to all individually at the moment.
Extra hugs to esperanza and that mommy.
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