Wednesday, January 23, 2008

Wednesday Whining: Mid-Winter Blahs Edition

Today was going pretty well, actually. I had a few work meetings, sent an email to a good friend. I was moving through the day smoothly. Then came the meltdown.

Take one wet, cold, tired, hungry seven year old and one tired, hungry Mama. Mix together in a change room full of other mothers and kids. What do you get? Tantrums, one for each.

Oh, and by the way, I heard on the news that this is the most depressing week of the year.

Why? You tell me.


Sue said...

Oooooo....I'm first!!!

Whine: Fireplacing pain so bad that I'm barely conscious at the moment. Took two Percocet and I'm off to bed. So fireplacing tired of this crap.

Anti-whine: My family doc finally gets it! He called today to say that he contacted the Headache Clinic that he referred me to (only after I used every assertive cell in my body and insisted on the referral) and asked them to move me onto the "Urgent" list. So, if they get a cancellation between now and June 30th, I'll be off to Headache Camp where they might actually do something to get this hot poker out of the side of my fireplacing head.



Madeleine said...

Sue, I hope the percocet kicked in eventually and you feel a bit better this morning.

I also hope that the person with the Headache Camp reservation at the soonest convenient time for you suddenly gets a miracle cure, so you get their slot.

I'd love a miracle cure for you, also, but quite a few pixies have been hopin' and prayin' for quite a while now, so I think Headache Camp might be a better option.

JenR said...

Full term as of yesterday. Tired, sore, swollen, crabby... and no signs of impending labor. But hey, at least I remembered to whine on a Wednesday...

Sue said...

Oh jenr, I hope those twinges start very very soon!!

kathy a. said...

sue, hope the headache camp happens soon! and jenr, sending happy-baby, get-born-soon vibes out to you and the sweet baboo!

whine: flu. barf. clean-up. the cats thought it was a fine show. there is no such thing as TMI in the feline world.

antiwhines: assuming this is a 24 hour thing, my sister and i are going to visit daughter this weekend!

family drama: my cousin and his sweetie are getting married! on one side of the aisle, the future MIL is getting frantic about the need for a professional wedding planner, and wanting to explore options costing as much as a good down payment on a house.

her own daughter is thrilled that she found the perfect dress for $150, and my cousin is waxing nostalgic about the country/western BBQ reception his sister had. his sister is lined up to do their wedding cake. my own wedding was cheap [and the best party ever], because my sisters and i did everything but the cake ourselves. anyway, it's starting to look like we have a cousinly bonding opportunity, helping them plan a great wedding for less!

Anonymous said...

I gotta do this with no name (for reasons that will become apparent). But I am a regular 'round these parts. I promise.

My husband is wallowing through some anxiety/depression crap. It is largely related to his job, but who knows what else is buried under all the muck?

He is seeing a psychiatrist, who is also a friend of ours (but 20 yrs older, so we don't regularly socialize or anything). I have no idea what goes on in these sessions (not my business), but I was alarmed that hubby was allowed to "decide" several weeks ago that he only needed to see the dr. every other week. I think it is/was a huge mistake to start in therapy and immediately cut back. Especially since while one of the meds (for short term anxiety) seems to be working, the other seems to be doing nothing to mitigate the crushing depression and inability to get out of bed every day.

Every single morning, I have to put on the bitch face and cajole him out of bed. Every single morning, he has a breakdown at the prospect of going to work. Oh? and at the same time as this showdown (7-8:30) I am trying to juggle the morning routine for 2 kids not nearly old enough to handle it themselves (the toddler who purposely spills breakfast on the floor; the preschooler who has decided that weather appropriate clothes are so last year).

At the same time, he won't take a day off because "it won't make a difference; the work will still be waiting for me, except there will be more of it." He's in a Sisyphean situation, but yet I had to practically hold a gun to his head to revamp his CV to send it to someone...WHO ASKED HIM FOR IT! OUT OF THE BLUE! But he has yet to think about sending it to anyplace else.

I know I should be more sensitive about this, but I have no idea what to do. He is a zombie. I am out of ideas and out of patience. Oh, and also? Freaking the hell out. Changing jobs is something I fully support, but losing a job would be bad bad bad with 2 kids, no second income, and a mortgage.

Tell me it will be ok? Practical assvice would be nice too.

kathy a. said...

(((( anonymous )))) that totally fireplacingly stinks. you've got to put the babies and your own sanity first.

here is my assvice, for whatever it is worth:

[1] it will not be the end of the earth if you just didn't do the bitch-face wakeup for hubby one day. let him get his own ass out of bed whenever he does, and let him deal with it. he may blame you for not getting him up, but maybe he'll invest a little something in getting his own self up the next day. [it is also fine to have errands to run until after he wakes up, freaks out, and dashes off to work.]

[2] the psychiatrist needs to know what is really going on. hubs sounds like he is good at looking good. the privacy laws don't let the psych tell you what is happening on that end, but there is no law against you letting him know how bad it is. the shrink then will have the obligation to work harder at helping hubs function.


Sue said...


What kathy a. said. She's right. Talk to the psych doc - he needs to know what is really happening every day.

amy said...

This morning, I thought I would be bringing the most petty, pointless, common whine ever: the My-Husband-Doesn't-Help-Out-Enough Whine. I still have it (his version of vacuuming is to put all the toys that were on the floor onto the sofa or a tiled surface, vacuum, and leave everything exactly where he put it when he turned the vacuum off. including the vacuum and the outlet safety plug - also on the floor), but I just got crappy crappy news.

Last summer, my mother bought my daughter a pony for her birthday*. (we have horses, my mom lives on a farm up the road.) My mom just called me to tell me the pony foundered, which is to say he's got an incurable condition called Laminitis that causes lameness and excruciating pain, and will ultimately mean I'll have to decide when, where, and how to euthanize the pony. Worse: we know what we're in for because we've been through this before with my mom's beloved horse.

G*ddam pony. Cutest fireplacing pony IN THE WORLD, and the worst is knowing I'll have to break it to my daughter. Not right away, but eventually. Ack, this sucks.

*yes, everyone who ever wanted a pony when they were eight wants to shoot us. it's okay, go ahead. we're used to it. it IS a big deal and she IS a very lucky grandchild, blah blah blah.

kathy a. said...

i nominate amy for old skool, for her very classic housekeeping whine!

the poor pony -- that truly does suck, for everyone. amy, i can't remember how old your daughter is. grief is hard at any age. one book i remember for younger people is "the tenth good thing about barney," by judith viorst.

needing to euthanize a beloved pet is especially hard. my kids are legal adults, and they knew our old cat was extremely sick, but they had strong initial reactions to putting him down. but, don't we all. xoxox

Diane said...

whine: I just had to look up Sisyphean.

KLee said...

Votes for amy and the pony. That sucks a whole lot.

Prayers that Sue gets a slot in the headache camp, or better yet no longer NEEDS a slot in the headache camp because the headaches disappear!

Hugs to anonymous. I'm sorry that things are this difficult -- but I think kathy a. has the right idea that you should let the doc know that hubby's "home" self may not be as put together as his "on show" self. Good luck, no matter what you choose to do.

Pitocin wishes to jenr! Let's get that labor going!

Get better vibes to kathy a!

I'm feeling very bitchy today. My kids, for the most part were great, but I have one or two who just have to push every single boundary occasionally, and apparently today was the day.

I feel like I could get a headache if I didn't watch myself closely, and for some strange reason, my FEET are killing me. Wah! Make it all stop!

That Mommy said...

Can't focus to read whines. Kid2 has slept 2.5 hours since 8 am yesterday. That Mommy has slept even less. Can't remember blogger password. Send Valium.

kathy a. said...

valium to That Mommy, STAT!

esperanza said...

Valium to That Mommy, who just made me feel immensely better. And my weekly vote to Sue.

Whine: um. How am I supposed to work the very part-time job while taking care of sweet baboo? I have grandparental reinforcements this week and am still not getting a thing done. Of course, said reinforcements require some reinforcing every so often, which takes time/concentration. But still. It is also a no-doctor-appointment week (huge antiwhine) so I'm not sure how we're going to manage in a more-regular week. Look for similar whines from me on upcoming Wednesdays!

Sue said...

(((amy))) that just sucks. I'm so sorry.

valium to That Mommy, and make it quick. Holy moly!


I'm heading off to a meeting tonight. I hate evening meetings. My headaches are at their worst after 6:00 pm (which is, like, now) - ick. However, this is not a meeting I can get out of. *sigh*

I have an MRI on my head tomorrow afternoon. I'm a little nervous about it, but I've waited a looooong time for the appointment, so I'm trying not to whine about it. But still - they're going to stick me in a straw and make loud noises for a half hour. Ya. Fun.

kathy a. said...

sue, we need dr. corndog to send you a little music, to get you through the fireplacing MRI. maybe yankee can take the lead on an inspirational piece. if you squint real hard, you will see the cluestick chorus off in the corner of the room.

Miranda said...

Sue, I hope the MRI is productive tomorrow and that Teh Head Pain of DOOM has a definite cause with a definite treatment.

That Mommy, if you happen to get too much Valium, could you send some my way? I've been hacking through the night for the last three nights. I am exhausted.

KLee, I think that it is the time of year. My IrlGay CoutSays are so rotten that I told my partner she could work with them.

Anonymous, my spouse was a lot like yours is right now. The only way he started to get better was when I no longer appeared to care what he did with himself. It was scary as hell but as long as I was involved, he would transfer responsibility for his well-being onto me. And promptly rebel. He actually had his shrink call me in the hope that she would yell at me. She was, uh, surprised when I explained why I did what I did. Then she applauded me for my insight and said that if I ever needed to talk to feel free to call her.

My whines are the usual assortment of too little sleep, too much homework, and days too packed. In addition, Dancing Girl has strep throat and will end up missing the entire week of school. Also, Teh Hubs found out that his local office was going to close and he will be transferred to an office out of state by the end of April. The kids and I are staying in MI.

I also nominate myself for the Village Idiot award because I am suddenly feeling like a PhD is really good idea and ought to be in my near future. Feel free to dissuade me. However, I have been beguiled by the promise of funding and the specter of flexibility for a few more years. Plus, I am properly spooked by the employment marker prospects in my area.

Anti-whines: I have options. I will be free of Teh Hubs very soon. My girls invited me out tonight for dinner and drinks. I love my courses this semester. I love my job this semester.

Madeleine said...

Hi everyone,
I'm sorry to see so many worthy whines piling up today. Hugs to everyone, especially . . . everyone. Yep. Except maybe Diane, since Learning a New Word Is Good For You. (wink)

Redzils said...

Hugs to everyone.

I fear the deluge that will start if I actually start whining, but will ask for a few crossed fingers that the weekend invasion, I mean, visit, by my landladies goes well. I am sort of long term house-sitting, but pay rent too, and they have one bedroom they can come stay in.

This will be our first simultaneous occupancy since I moved in.

They were here over Thanksgiving. And threw away most of my dry goods to "get rid of bugs." Having driven the roaches out of my last place with my pristine kitchen (which I kept that way to drive the bugs away), I found it hard to believe and was annoyed at the food loss.

They were here over New Years. No food disappeared, but there was a note telling me we Had! Mice! and a series of peanut-butter baited traps left in their wake. In the two weeks between trap setting and my return, they caught zero mice.

So far we are operating on the idea that these are imaginary plagues. I am a little afraid of what plague I will get to hear about this weekend - locusts, maybe? Perhaps frogs?

I think it is actually all a way to complain about my (adequate but not stellar) house-keeping, so three days with them should be great fun...

Camera Obscura said...

Teeny weenie whine (oh hai, guys, I'm still around):

The kids brought home a cold in mid-December. I managed to avoid catching it until the weekend before Christmas. The upper respiratory part lasted until about New Years, and I thought I was over it.

Then day-by-day, my chest started to hurt worse and worse. Like somebody was inside, trying to break out by sticking rocks and sticks through my chest wall. So I took expectorants but got nothing up. I even went to the doc last when the glands in my neck started to swell, got a Z-pack which took care of the neck but not the chest.

Finally, a full calendar month after all this nonsense started, yesterday I didn't hurt. Yays!

Howsomever, #2-Son, the autistic for whom I perform many personal grooming procedures? Came down w/ the sniffles on Monday.


Sarah at ratatat said...

Hugs to Anonymous...good luck finding a balance you can live with and that your husband realizes he can't wish depression away.
And many hugs to JenR--I have to laugh because with my two, my OBs just pushed due dates, not full term date. So when they came at term (2 weeks before the due date) I was shocked. Both times.

My whines are the confusing maze of trying to have addition put on my house. The terrible math that the appraiser thinks the house won't be worth as much as we're putting into the addition...and the contractors seem to think they are modest in their pricing. And trying to fit a new septic system in as well--unless we decommission a bedroom and stay with the same number of net bedrooms after the addition. But then we have to not build within 5 feet of the current septic tank. I think I need a flow chart.

Why don't I think February is going to be an improvement?

And on the plus side, I did remember Wed Whining on Wednesday!

margalit said...

Huge hugs to anon. Depression is horrible. Every freaking day it's another battle. If hubs isn't on meds, get him on some soon.

Sue: hope the MRI tells you something about this headache thing. I'm thinking of you as I down even more tylenol for my own headache. BLECH!

Amy... ponies. Poor pony. I grew up with horses and putting a pony down is HARD.

Now onto my special week from hell.

Daughter broke down again. She isn't making it back at school so we had big pow wow where it was 'decided' to send her to a day program. Except the booked the freaking day program without even asking me and we've been looking at our own day program choices. The ride came to take her to the day program today and I was like "What you talking bout, willis?" I knew NOTHING.

Daughter spent 4 full days not talking to me. She is now talking to me and liking staying home and watching TV with me in bed. Yeah, much better than school except I can't get a damn thing done.

We still have one more program to look at tomorrow morning before we decide. I like one, she likes another one that I hate. Oy!

Son went back to school and is doing great. He made up 2 terms of school work in around 8 hours. He is very smart but very lazy.

I am STILL sick. I thought I was better but now I'm coughing up bloody mucus. I just can't get rid of this damn cough and mucus party and my chest sounds like someone is holding a bubble party in there. Pop pop pop.

Best news: going to Washington DC without kids in early March for 4 days to pick up our new OLD but free car. I repeat, no kids. First time in 14 years I'll be away from them.

Sue said...

Hugs and votes for camera obscura (oh hai!) and margalit and anyone with stubborn cold symptoms. ick.

Anti-whine: Someone just called my office to say they will be praying while I'm in the MRI tube. It made me a little teary to think of such thoughtfulness.

thanks to all of you.

kathy a. said...

oh, sue -- that's sweet.

hugs to redzils, sarah, camera obscura, and margalit. CO, hoping the sniffles stay at the kleenex level for son. margalit -- sending some valium your way, too, and crossed fingers for some domestic tranquility, already.