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Thursday, January 10, 2008

Awards: The "As Time Goes By" Edition

Ah, pixies! Awards time again! As I said in the whining post, I have too little time, and all at the same time, too MUCH time. I can't believe that I'm almost freaking FORTY years old. Where did all that time go?!? Who allowed this travesty to happen? Who in the world authorized me to have a twelve year old child? Someone, somewhere, has seriously screwed up on this one, and I ain't takin' the blame, no sirree, Bob.

Still, somehow, it'll be all my fault. It usually is.

My sympathies go out to all of our participants this week, including those deal with family woes, sick or colicky kids, vision trouble, hurty skin, slobariffic progeny, or kids who blow chunks all over them.


This week, In the "Whine of Substance" category:

Sue, with her ongoing (and neverending, poor Sue) migraine pain. This is also compounded by the fact that she waited 9 months for an appointment with a neurologist, only to have him give her a prescription that may have side effects that would affect her job performance AND not real end in sight for Sue long-term. Sweetie, I think they should nominate you for sainthood, because I would have long since gone postal on everyone.


Margalit, who apparently won the germ lottery for this go-round: sinus infection, bronchitis, and thrush. We love you, honey, but don't get mad if we slap a biohazard sticker on you as you walk by. Look on the bright side -- maybe you gave the utterly clueless SpEd teacher some nasty and virulent strain of disease! And, lose your shizzle as often as you need to, girlfriend. No one but you is going to advocate as hard for your kids! You have got to stand up and make your voice heard. Now that they've heard you, let's hope they take your concerns to heart and get *their* shizzle together.

and

Thatmommy for everything sucking. I'm so sorry it's all so hard right now. Just know that we're here, should you need a friendly ear. I hope things get better soon.


And in the "They Say It's Your Birthday" category:

A nod to kathy a's youngest, who turned 19 on January 8th; and to my own Offspring, who turned 12 on January 9th.

Hugs and virtual presents for Madeleine, who celebrates her (mumble, mumble)th birthday on 10 January! May your day be as special as you yourself are!


The "Mamas Is The Craziest Peoples" Awards go out to:

amy. Amy's Unbloggable of last week has escalated into a WTF?!? answer from the doctor, but is only slightly tempered by the fact that her oh-so-delicate little flower of girlhood specimen, the Tot, has finally learned to pick her own nose. Only another mother could appreciate this one, because that means that *amy* no longer has to pick the Tot's nose FOR HER. This, pixies, is indeed a milestone! Just please, amy -- instruct her that anything after the second knuckle is no longer considered "picking", but has moved on into "brain surgery."

and

Liz, who has had to ground the misbehaving Muffin Man, and now has to deal with her own slice of parental hell -- the feeding of the virtual pet panda. Well, console yourself with this one thought, Liz... if the panda dies, at least you won't have to go out into the cold backyard to dig the grave for him. See? There's a silver lining if you only apply yourself hard enough!


The "Mazel Tov!" Award goes out to :

Diane, who is expecting! Hooray! We're all verklempt for you! We can't wait to hear more!


By popular vote, Uccellina wins the coveted "Elevated Risk of Mullet" award this week with her "Crotchal Pain of Doom." The joys of pregnancy, no? I'm sorry that you can't sleep. May Mr. Sandman dump an entire sack of sleepy sand over you and your crotch. Wait... that sounds wrong... Oh, well.

Love and hugs to all. May you all have your whines lessen over the course of the week, and thank you all again for coming and participating in this online version of the stitch-and-bitch. Stay tuned for next week's installment, when our fearless leader will be kathy a.

8 comments:

Madeleine said...

Thank you for the birthday wishes. So far, so good. But now I must get to work, sadly.

Diane said...

Can we not mention Crotchal Pain of Doom for 9 more months?
It's giving me the cold sweats.

and Thanks!

kathy a. said...

grand ceremony, klee!

Sue said...

Thank you KLee for the WoS. It helps in the midst of the pain and tough decisions.

Uccellina said...

Diane, I am truly thrilled for you that you are pregnant, but I cannot promise not to mention the CPoD ever again. This is, after all, where I come to whine. But please be reassured that my pain is the result of several factors, including 1) having a messed up back and hips to begin with, and 2) carrying twins. You will probably escape without the CPoD.

Also, I've only got 2-3 months of Teh Pregnant left. Then I'll move on to newborn twins whines :-)

And thanks for the award! Woo hoo!

amy said...

KLee, excellent work, and thanks for saying the unsayable: that I have, in fact, picked my daughter's nose on more than one occasion. I mean, who else is going to teach her how? ;)

Thanks also for the reminder about the second knuckle. How could I have forgotten that?

margalit said...

Excellent awards ceremony, Klee. I mean, how many people get awards for their kid learning how to pick their own nose? Only the Pixies!

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