Tuesday, October 2, 2012

Sanity SWOT* Analysis - WW Style

Strength: I have the wisdom to know that lashing out during high pressure times is neither helpful nor productive.  Come on, let's look at your project file.  What can we do here?  (ie This was supposed to be done a month ago, you miserable abuser of oxygen, and I hate that I had to hear about the impending disaster from the old bad axe who keeps the rumor mill afloat.  I will deny your request for Christmas Eve off MWAH HAHAHAHA)

Weakness: That is still my first inclination.   (Serenity now?)

Opportunity: Countless opportunities to practice good leadership/parenting/data-entry/coaching skills.

Threat:  So little time. 

I would like to head up a project where I can harness the power of the collective Cluesticking Posse to address: lying campaign ads, politicians in general for allowing sequestration to most likely occur, children who eschew teethbrushing, showering, firm bed times and homework, coaches who 3/4 through a a season decide that the team must sell crap or pay a buyout to avoid selling crap (I didn't sign an agreement to pay it so I WON'T!!!), terrible exes, voice mail, and the evil/clueless/sub-optimally medicated for severely personality disordered individuals that inhabit the professional world.

How are all of you?

*For those of you in neither the corporate world nor the quasi-corporate wanna-be world, SWOT is a kind of risk assessment tool that is basically useless, in my opinion, but kind of funny when used to diagram whines.

ETA: While less intense in its fury, I hope you don't mind seeing it a second time.  Ahem.  Bring on fall!!!


kathy a. said...

oy, miranda! the work nightmares!

will be back in the morning to whine more. night-night is coming early for me. think i have that thing going around.

liz said...

AW: I love taking the bus to my new job

W: It is, however, raining.

AW: But I don't need to drive in the rain because I'm taking the bus

W: But I do need to stand/walk in the rain.

AW: I have an umbrella

W: But no rainboots

AW: There is a DSW across the street from my office.

W: "Across the street" means across 8 lanes of traffic, both my office and the DSW are smack dab in the middle of the block, and there is no fireplacing way I'm not crossing at the corner with the light. And see above, re: rain and no boots.

AW: There is ALSO a DSW near my house next door to a Moby Dick's House of Kabob.

Result: Guess what we're having for dinner tonight.

Sarah said...

Oh Miranda - those are very clear whines, so bravo on communicating well. And I hope you get your groove against the onslaught.

Liz - no walking in the rain. Stay dry.

Whine: my grandfather passed away on Saturday night. He's been dying for 5 months. I am finding it hard to let go enough to cry. That'll come. Probably as an AW.
The small whines:
1. Kids are being kids and mostly atrocious
2. My ex knew and loved my grandfather and wants to come to the funeral. And asked to stay with us.
3. Family - it's just going to be grumpy
the anti-whines
1. The kids will be OK.
2. Me ex offered a hotel and I am actually off loading the kids to him to play in the swimming pool when they get bored.
3. We're a very passive family. There may be hurt feelings or unhappiness, but no one will confront anybody.

Whine/Anti-whine of the future: My grandmother is moving in with us, probably tomorrow. So a wall to have built and a bed to buy and some settling in as she adjusts to the noise.

Whine that I feel guilty about: I will never have time alone in my house again. (melodramatic sigh and even not true, I hope)...and that cramps my dating aspirations.

Take care Pixies - returning to the land of no internet shortly. But I may connect at the hotel where my ex is staying. Did you hear me say he's probably going to have all 3 kids for the night. Mwa ha ha ha

liz said...


Staying dry is not really an option, but walking in regular shoes to go to the store to buy rain boots feels ultra stupid, so I'm taking your advice.

kathy a. said...

((( sarah ))) i'm' so sorry about the loss of your grandfather.

so, you'll be a 4 generation / one roof household? that's so amazing. xoxo

liz -- what kind of boots? daughter got these really cute ones with flowers.

liz said...

Preferably something in a black, or a BRIGHT yellow. I think I'll get a rain slicker, too.

kathy a. said...

i used to have this wonderful rain poncho -- reversible, with a dignified navy on on side and bright yellow on the other. was very sad when it disintegrated. the poncho was great, because it covered my purse and i could carry things under it, too -- no need for that umbrella that i would invariably lose someplace.

kathy a. said...

miranda -- finally a good use for one of those ideas that management consultants get paid the big bucks to spout! diagramming whines. heh.

W: can we just fast-forward a month and get this election over? related: the word "horserace" now gives me hives.

AW: think i will get an absentee ballot so at least i can get my civic duty done before full head explosion.

Sue said...


((((((Sarah))))) so sorry for your loss. You are wise to know that you will grieve in your own way in your own time.

Liz, yellow boots! Yay!

Kathy, sorry about the hives. It will be good when its all done.

Back later for whine (because you know I have one. Or two).

esperanza said...

((Sarah)) I think I'll be there with you (except not with the moving-in grandparent) in the not-too distant future.

W: Introvert Esperanza is exhausted after dinner guests Friday night and Sweet's birthday party Sunday afternoon. Way too much cooking and cleaning and preparing. There is another whine in there between the lines which is probably better not to spell out.

AW: Sweet (similarly introverted) coped very well with her birthday guests. Only a couple of touchy moments.

AW: 13 year old BFF is worth her weight in gold.

AW: I think I just had a brilliant idea today about Mini's coping with Sweet's therapy schedule. It is, in a word, BORING, for Mini, to ride along in car and sit in waiting rooms. There is a preschool program possibility in our little pueblo that I need to explore.

Miranda said...


Liz - Congrats on the new job! Hopefully you stayed dry.

New Whine: My mama has shingles.

liz said...

Oh no! Shingles is terrible. But if she can get on meds RIGHTAWAY it can go away in as little as two weeks.

Alas, my step-father is still dealing with his from February.

liz said...

W: The tooth-fairy forgot to come last night.

AW: First time ever. This is at least the 12th tooth.

amy said...

Tater is four today! FOUR!

Passing "chock-watt cupcakes wiff sprinkles" to all the pixies! They are rain-proof, so you can have one too, Liz. ;^)

liz said...


And Happy B-day Tater!

kathy a. said...

happy birthday, tater!

miranda, hope your mom feels better soon. ouch!

Non A. Mouse said...

Hi. I'm Non, and I'm a closet smoker. Eww, right? Went to my doctor, and came home with (no exaggeration) an entire bag full of stop smoking products. I was supposed to set a "quit" date, but instead I ran out of cigarettes and slapped on a patch.

The first day went great! Now it is day 4, and I am appreciating that the meds have kept me from twitching too much and/or tearing people's eyeballs out. But I really want to slink off and have a cigarette anyway. (I guess that's why they gave me the gum, for "breakthrough urge to smoke while using patch." Chomp, chomp, chomp.)

amy said...

Tater thanks you for the birthday wishes! He has had an incredibly lovely day. I mean, this kid could not be any sweeter. F'reals.

Non A, I have never smoked, so I don't know what you're going through, but I have watched so many family members and friends try to quit. It is tough, but you are tougher. I'm proud of you for trying to quit. <3

esperanza said...

Happy Birthday, Tater. Choc-watt cupcakes are the only way to go.

Non, good luck. Can the cluestick posse help?

AW: spent the morning with a friend. Just talking. So nice.

Miranda said...

My mom complained of feeling really odd with a rash that tingled so I told her to get in to her GP ASAP which for once she did and he has on the antivirals. She has a pretty mild case pain wise but the rash is pretty extensive. She feels pretty lucky compared to others we have known.

Happy Birthday, Tater! I feel like he was born only yesterday.

Esperanza, I am glad you are getting some quality time with a friend. If you lived closer, I would take Sweet and Mini for the afternoon so you could take more quality time.

Non A: You can do it! Come talk to us and we will swarm you with love or assemble the Cluesticks for the cravings.

Liz, tell your son that the tooth fairy experienced a rain delay. ;)

Awards will likely not go up until Saturday. IEP meeting, cheer team dinner to run, home game, "pink out" fundraising, a work at home day .... and this is just tomorrow. Friday is fill in for the world because they are all off while analyzing data and writing reviews.

esperanza said...

oh, Miranda, that is too sweet. As if you have time for running after Sweet & Mini. Your Thursday lists exhausts me. Hope you have someone to give you a break, too.

debangel said...

Whine: There are wet, overworked Pixies out there and none of them live close enough for me to make it better with a fuzzy blanket, homemade oatmeal cherry chocolate chip cookies and a hug. MOVE CLOSER. ;-)

Antiwhine: MY SWEETIE IS COMING HOME TOMORROW!! Man, it's been a long three weeks, especially being newlyweds and all, AHEM :-) Plus I live on the third floor, and with him gone, I need to schedule all my grocery runs and garbage hauls for the brief part of the week when I don't have Squishies here. (Living on the 3rd floor means I NEVER buy cat litter and a gallon of milk on the same trip. Add a toddler on your hip, and that's a recipe for a hernia! Or, you know, triceps like Michelle Obama.)

More anti-whine: took my SIL out for sushi for her birthday. Sooo grateful to have my bestest buddy to celebrate with. Also, v. good sushi place is less than two blocks away. ::delicateburp::

Even more anti whine: I'm always complaining about the ShowerSac (TM) Ex, but my Good Ex and I had a great Creative Cooperative Co-Parenting FTW moment this week. Our 7 year-old lost a tooth..well, after he pulled the dangling dente for her. Well, when she lost her first tooth last year, while we were out of town, she declared that the Tooth Fairy would find her with a big GPS. So then he sent me the website to plug in my address coordinates, and set out a Euro coin for me to give to her. I then wrote the note in French from "La Petit Souris" (The Little Mouse), and made tiny glitter footprints on the sink, next to her toothbrush. Dave and I are going to be high-fiving each other for years for this :-) And yes, this is the same ex that's become best friends with my new husband. Life is good.

Especially when Moose comes home and has a little convo with Señor ShowerSac, who has delighted in being a total jerk since he knew I was all alone. SS is very cordial and actually likes James (but then, everyone loves him), but is also quite terrified of him. I hate to enjoy the thought of SS shaking in his little shoes, but, ehh, I'm only human ;)

Happy Week, Pixies!

Sue said...

Chiming in late pixies and on the run.

W: Mandatory training workshop held out of town. Waaaay out of town, though still the same province. Flew to The Big Smoke at O'Stoopid Thirty yesterday morning, arrived back in the (local) holy land at midnight.

That's a 19 HOUR WORK DAY pixies.

Double Whine on Steroids: The National organizing body of our denomination saw fit to make the training mandatory, but did not consider that it might COST some of its clergy to get to the training sites.


Oh, it was only $350 or so. Pish tosh, no problem (sarcasm alert).

AW: The training is out of the way and I no longer have to stress about it. Many of my colleagues have not done it and are living with the threat of "losing their official standing within the denomination."

W: Does anyone remember when I was all mellow and happy and none of this was going to bother me? Ya, me neither.


Sarah said...

Oh Sue - glad the training is over. But the denomination not remembering that the clergy has limited budgets - WHA?? I hop you find your way to even again, maybe even happy.

Debangel - coparenting for the win! And hope Moose arrives home soon.

Miranda - hope your mom gets well soon. Shingles are scary...

Esperanza - hugs and deep breaths and I hope preschool works at the times you need.

The funeral is done. It was OK. The priest was the kind of clergyman that gives all people of the cloth a good name. Kind and good at listening and catching on to the nuances of the family. We're fairly lax religiously as a whole, so I don't think he did much praying with us, but the ministering was excellent.

My grandmother is not hemming and hawing on when she'll move i with us. She might visit as early as next week. Maybe not for a few weeks. And yes, 4 generations in the house will be awesome and overwhelming.

Whine: my mom stayed one more night with my Grandma. So I am not at work yet. And I need to be.

Whine: the kids are clingy, whiny, tired, worried...there have been so many tears. So many. I am worn out (see desire to escape to work)

liz said...

What is so hard about providing links to actual hard news stories and not opinion pieces?

Oh. I'm guessing that THERE AREN'T ANY.

liz said...

Did anyone here know that the Green Party was running someone for President?

Yeah, me neither.

Her name's Dr. Jill Stein and I heard about her for the first time this past Monday.

kathy a. said...

happy homecoming, debangel! you crazy newlyweds.... ;) it is really wonderful that your daughter's dad and you have the co-parenting thing down so very well.

jerkface does not yet understand that there is a good way and he is pursuing the bad way; and also, the law wouldn't seem to be much in favor of "let's do it myyyyyy way" in this circumstance.

sue -- the posse definitely has an interest in 19 hour workdays PLUS no reimbursement for significant out of pocket costs to attend something mandatory. i meeeeaaaannnn, really?

i volunteer for the posse visiting miranda's workplace, too.

((( sarah ))) so much going on. a loss and a funeral are plenty; kid stress is that much more. and changes like moving grandma would be stressy, even if she was not moving to your very house. breathe! xoxoxoxoxo

also passing the chocolate for everyone.

AW: i kind of got in this "commit to nothing; go nowhere; see nobody" place during the giant project. last night, beloved and i went to a pub nearby and heard some friends perform with their band; saw a couple more friends, too, and met one family's very sweet newly adopted gorgeous dog! so, that was good!

Miranda said...

Awards tomorrow.