Monday, May 23, 2011

Wolf! Wolf! Wolf! Whining

Yes, pixies, it's that old fable, The Boy Who Cried Wolf.
Well, if you replace The Boy with The Sweet Baboo.
And Wolf with one or more of the following: Tummy Hurts; I Need to Go Potty; Frow Up.

Tummy Hurts is useful when one wants the pink tub that one used to Frow Up about a month ago. It would be such a great container for toting toys around. Better than a direct request, which is likely to get denied, Tummy Hurts is the best in toddler strategy and manipulation. Bonus: gets Mama excited. When Tummy Hurts does not work as desired, try Frow Up.

I Need to Go Potty is used when in the carseat for extended periods of time. Boredom sets in, and I Need to Go Potty results in a trip to a convenience store, restaurant, or other exciting location. Best of all, it also results in removal from carseat. Bonus: grateful little sister also benefits from carseat removal. Alternate setting: in bed, while not falling asleep at the parent-defined desirable time.

Will the potty training whines never end?

AW: She's talking enough to play these little games. I'm grateful for that. Remind me of that, please?


liz said...

Hooray for her talking enough to play verbal games!


And on the other stuff...this, too, shall pass.

Ideas: A small bag or basket to carry toys in that resembles in some way the pink Frow Up bucket.

A Bag O Tricks for the car. Rotate in unfamiliar toys every so often.

I'm still working on the bedtime thing.

kathy a. said...

sweet's on a roll, verbally! i second liz's suggestion of a bag of tricks for the car. but on the theory of picking the important battles, i'd consider just giving her the pink tub -- lots of other things work for bark containment, in a pinch.

oy, bedtime. sweet may be a little young for this, but with my daughter we reached a compromise: if she wasn't sleepy, she could play quietly in bed with x or y toy, but it was "quiet time" now.

kathy a. said...

W: so distracted today. getting nothing done.

W: my friend's wife has a terrible surgery this week -- best case is 8 hours surgery, 8-10 days in hospital; worst case is unmentionable. AW: practiced quilt therapy this weekend -- it's therapeutic for me, anyway.

AW: daughter is applying for internships for the fall! yay! crossing fingers she gets one someplace.

followup to last week's vehicular whine -- oh, pixies, the stupidity of criminals never fails to astound! our personal criminal slid down a cliff escaping the police; then he stole our worthless car; and -- this is the best part -- he waved to a police car while making his getaway, and the officer recognized him from the earlier chase.

Sue said...

Wah. Blogger ate my whine.

Double Super-Power-I-Know-I'm-Fortunate-To-Have-A-Job-Whine:


That's two strikes, church. One more and you shall feel my wrath. You don't want to feel my wrath. Just sayin'...

I have a colleague taking "crisis calls" for me while I'm off.

No. This was not a crisis. At. All.


AW: Phone ringer off until further notice. Hubby will check messages and not tell me who called. I totally love him.

Until then, *deep breath* I AM OFF!!!!! DON'T BUG ME UNTIL WEDNESDAY!!!!!

KLee said...

Oh, pixies. I hate to come back to only dump my baggage, but it feels like the world hates me and mine lately.

Husband got laid off on Thursday. He feels awful about it, and keeps saying things like, "I'm sorry I let you down", and "I'll find a way to make it work, even if I have to flip burgers to do it." So, now I feel both angsty AND tremendously guilty. I hurt for him, and I'm just plain damn mad at his former employers for being such assholes. He says not to worry, but that's what I do.

Plus, while my job is secure for the next school year, it comes with a 10% pay cut.

The hits just keep comin'.

esperanza said...

Oh, crap and double crap, KLee. Dump all the baggage and whines you need to. We'll start firing up the cluesticks.

esperanza said...

Thanks for the ideas. I just don't want to reward the lying to get what you want behavior. As for bedtime, it's mostly at naptime that she tries it. I'm susceptible to it because she has been using a diaper at naptime and we're trying to stop that (mostly so she can have accident-free naps at school). She wears a diaper at night (nighttime potty training is far, far in the distance) and generally falls right to sleep. She's also not always taking a nap, but desperately needs the time alone (as do I).

esperanza said...

Pardon the THIRD comment in a row.

Sue, that is so aggravating. I may try that tactic when Mr. E is supposed to have a day "off." Enjoy your study leave, and hooray for your hubby.

kathy a. said...

sue, sounds like you have a well-equipped posse right at home!

(((( klee )))) that really sucks. whine away, sister. warming my cluestick up.

liz said...

(((KLee))) Please let us know if there's anything we can do to help, k?

Esperanza, I think that it's not rewarding the behavior if, at a time when she's NOT lying about being sick, you go with her to pick out a lovely carry-sack for her toys.

And change nap-time to "quiet time", put a potty chair in her room and tell her that she can play quietly in her room for an hour, that the potty is in there if she needs it and that her body needs the quiet time, even if she's not sleeping....

That worked pretty well for MM.

Days said...

I prescribe quilts for everyone. They're good for what ails ya.

We are all too tired to cope with the vagaries of life tonight so everyone has been sent to their rooms for quiet time/bedtime.

(KLee and family)

(Kathy A. and friend)

esperanza said...

Of course, Liz. I didn't mention (and this is part of a much larger weight on my mind) that she has MULTIPLE vessels for collecting and carrying toys. Which she can and will do alllll daaayyy long.

And, I'll admit that the Bag O Tricks in our latest car journey was insufficient for two Baboos. I was counting on one of them to take a nap, which she did not. Lesson learned.

Sarah at ratatat said...

Klee - oh, that's terrible. Hugs and cookies and I hope the job market is improving near you.

Esperanza - yay for the bright side on the talking. Sympathy for the rest. We are in potty training heck. I had such hopes for May. Darn individual kids.

Sue - if ever there were a case for ALL CAPS. Thank goodness for your husband and call screening.

KathyA - as your car robber did not threaten your personally, I feel better giggling at the story of waving at the cop.

Antiwhine: the ladies night event went splendidly last week. There wasn't even rain.

Whine: I need to figure out 20-30 minutes a day for exercise - I even think it would feel good, which is sort of crazy for me. And I just don't see how. Ugh.

Sue said...

(((((KLee)))))) I am so sorry. I will join the others with the biggest cluestick I can find, and hope that things turn around soon.

Thanks pixies for understanding my rant. A small breach in the wall of hubby's "Wall of Protection" was unfortunate, but a good learning experience.

We're thinking the new phone message should say "First you must answer these questions three....." heh.

kathy a. said...

hi, days! hope the remainder of the evening was peaceful.

sarah, glad your event went well! i'm totally not the person to ask about exercize-related matters, but would it be easier to shoehorn in 2-3 shorter sessions during the day?

klee, your poor husband. mine had a miserable time when he was between jobs a few years ago -- a terrible combination of feeling like a failure and feeling angry. many hugs to all of you.

if he's eligible for unemployment benefits, that could ease the financial burden a bit. it might feel shameful or like freeloading, but it shouldn't -- employers pay into the fund so workers and their families are not totally left in the cold while they look for new work.

esperanza said...

sarah, sorry about the potty training hell. My absolute least favorite part of parenting so far.

AW: Mini turns 16 months old tomorrow. And she just busted out a two word sentence. I'm thinking expressive speech will not be her challenge. Talking in class? probably so.

kathy a. said...

how can mini be 16 months already??? we remember when she was just a twinkle in her parents' eyes. :)

any sign of mama's day off yet? 16 months goes a lot slower to the 24/7 mama on the scene...

esperanza said...

Mama's Day Off is this Friday, barring someone dying or having a heart attack.

KLee said...

Thanks for all of the well-wishes and prayers sent heavenward. I hope all prayers go from Pixie Lips to God's Ears.

JF has put in several applications, and has enough vacation time that he will get paid for that it will be like he will be getting a regular salary through mid-August, and will additionally get unemployment -- so things aren't to the MUST PANIC! stage yet, but it's still worrisome. The thing, however, that worries me most is not that I don't think he's capable, but that the job market SUCKS and that no one will be hiring. However, he has 20 years experience at what he does (in addition to being good at it), so if he can get an interview, I think the prospects are good.

He's apologizing to me every other sentence, and I hate that for him. He feels like he's really screwed up, and I just can't make him understand that we will get through this. Together. And, I hate that I can't make him feel like he DIDN'T screw up, no matter what I say.

I just hate this whole thing. I think I want to Frow Up myself.

kathy a. said...

fingers crossed, klee. even in tight economic times, people leave jobs for various reasons, and JF's extensive experience is a plus. so glad there is a financial cushion.

wish i had a magic wand about the emotional part. nothing i could say to my beloved made a difference, either. (it got marginally more tolerable when i stopped trying to talk him into quitting the self-blame already -- he took that as not respecting his feelings, adding even more joy to the proceedings...)

crossing fingers for the health of the congregation, esperanza!

kathy a. said...

my sister was telling me yesterday about the challenges of parenting a HS freshman who suddenly thinks she is incredibly stupid, about everything. it is such a shocker when the kid who used to think you walked on water hits puberty.

big AW: my young adult kids now believe i'm not so stupid as once thought. mostly.

Sue said...

W: youngest son's friend died in a helicopter crash while working as a camera man on a movie set. It's all very sad. He was a young man who finally had his dream job.....

AW: Sat down for a coffee break at work today and called a much-loved friend. She got her own coffee and we chatted for half an hour or so.

I want to patent "phone coffee" but I may need to come up with a name that doesn't sound so close to "phone-you-know-what".

Sue said...

W: ok, I'll admit it. I'm going to miss Oprah.

liz said...

Sue: I'm so sorry about your son's friend.

I just wrote a letter that more or less says this:

Dear [name redacted]

I received an email today that was forwarded to me that made me feel like a friend had died. Actually, the friend hadn't died, but it turns out that he had been lying to me for months.

I really wish you had told me you were [participating in redacted thing]. I'm assuming you're going to say that you were there to make sure cooler heads prevailed, but I'm not sure I can buy that given that you didn't tell me about it.

People have been telling me for months that you are not a friend to me, and I've been defending you to them all. I really bought that what you're trying to do is keep [redacted thing] together. In keeping [redacted], you've lost a friend. You could have had both.

I am just so sad.

Anonymous said...

Neighbor Lady

esperanza said...

Oh, Liz. Very sad.

*snicker* for phone coffee, Sue.

Sarah at ratatat said...

Oh Liz, what a mess.

And Sue - phone coffee is awesome. And I don't even drink coffee. And so sorry to hear about the young man in the crash, somehow especially sad that it was his dream job.

KathyA - I feel for your sister. I think the teen years are going to be rough. Don't know if I'll get a reduced sentence because their father is the one on the really high pedestal.

Antiwhine: I think I am going to take a nap or go to bed ridiculously early tonight. Thank god for my mom.

kathy a. said...

sue, i'm so sorry about your son's friend. how awful.

liz, got my cluestick. geesh, i hate when that happens.

sarah, that's a great AW.

Sue said...


AW: Tomorrow I'm going away for a meeting required by my role in the church. For almost six years I have dreaded these meetings. They were something I endured and never enjoyed for a minute. I feel so differently about this year's meeting. I think I have the energy to engage the weekend and actually "be" present.

Who woulda thunk it? :)

Have a great weekend pixies!

liz said...

My friend wrote back...such a patronizing email, though it starts with an actual apology.

"I am sorry that I hurt you. I believe I am, and remain, a friend to you and [Mr. Spock}. I understand that you do not believe that, but it is true.
I take confidences, of all kinds, seriously. As I did not tell you
about [redacted], neither did I tell [redacted] what you
and I have discussed..."

What he doesn't say is, [radacted] knew about his relationship with me, while I knew nothing about [redacted] or that he was involved.

Which meant he made choices for me that I might not have made for myself. He didn't give me the opportunity to make those choices.

And he doesn't think that that is wrong.

Sarah at ratatat said...

Liz - all I can think is grrrr.

And Sue - happy weekend - it sounds like it might be empowering?

Whine: oldest's teacher wants us to write a review of her teaching (for her own use, not the office's). I have been medium happy with this year, but every time I think deeply about it, I am very negative. All the woulda, coulda, shoulda's (e.g. expressing surprise at the last school conference that our daughter has been on medication for anxiety while both complaining to us about her anxious behavior and admitting she never read the note I sent at the beginning of the year on the topic.) I can't think of anything positive and it is bumming me out. The year was fine. Daughter is happy with school. Don't make me delve deeper!!!!

liz said...

Why don't you start with the positive?

"The year was fine, Daughter is happy with school and that is terrific! My one real concern was when you expressed surprise at the last school conference that our daughter has been on medication for anxiety while both complaining to us about her anxious behavior and admitting you never read the note I sent at the beginning of the year on the topic."

kathy a. said...

what liz said.

kathy a. said...

liz, that is really infuriating -- sounds like such a betrayal of trust. cluesticks.

sue, best with your meeting!

Anonymous said...

((Sue)) about your son's friend. Hope your meeting is good.

(((KLee))) Hoping that all works out well and quickly.

Vertigo is back. Not horrible horrible, but not just an annoyance either. Enough that I worry when the other shoe is going to drop and the room will do full spins, instead of just quarter shifts when I turn my head.

Antiwhine: driving makes it go away (and, no, I won't drive when it is really bad, but when it is only so-so it somehow seems to calm it down---weird).

whine: It was bad enough that I stayed home from work today, but now I am supposed to drive to an eye appointment where they might dilate my eyes (and which appointments are impossible to get less than five months in advance). Eye dilation, methinks, might not help....On the other hand, maybe they'll figure out what the fireplace is causing it???

--Neighbor Lady

kathy a. said...

NL -- can you cab it to [&/or from] the eye appointment? the combo of vertigo and eye dilation just doesn't sound good, but maybe it is related to the eyes.

Purple_Kangaroo said...

Remember my friend who was taken by cancer a few weeks ago, leaving a husband and two young sons? The boys woke up yesterday morning to discover that their dad had died in the night, it is thought from a heart attack. They are 11 and 14.

kathy a. said...

oh, PK. oh, that is beyond awful. many thoughts for the boys and their friends and family. xoxoxo

i really really hope someone close is able to step in for them.

esperanza said...

pk, what awful news. I don't even know what to say. Just awful.

Anonymous said...

Oh PK. I can't imagine.


They will be in my thoughts and prayers, as will you.

--Neighbor Lady

p.s. Kathy a.--I am home safely...driving home was ok though bright, and eyes check out fine. However now that I am home, the blurriness from the dilation drops is frustrating--I am sitting as far from my computer as I can and still reach!

amy said...

So many whines of substance this week. :( I'm so glad we have the Ball so we can offer each other hugs.

My antiwhine is that I'm having a lovely birthday. I wish I could bottle this contentment to share with others.

If I could, I'd like to nominate Sarah for a Mullet for this line: "Sue - if ever there were a case for ALL CAPS." I snorted my coffee.

amy said...

Oops, I forgot my whine to go with my antiwhine. I guess it's pretty insignificant if I would blank on that!

My whine is that my mom is stalling and not taking the microwave I got her for Mother's Day. It is STILL in my living room. I confronted her and said that if she didn't want it, that was fine -- I'd take it back while I could -- but she just keeps putting me off. I think I'll give her one more chance and then just take it back before I lose the receipt.

kathy a. said...

happy birthday, amy!!!

my vote is to just leave the microwave on mom's front step, with a big bow and balloons and stuff, and ring the doorbell. or barge in for a weekend breakfast with cinnamon rolls and a grandkid escort, and just install it on her counter. i think returning a gift she hasn't said she doesn't want earns more bad points than it's worth. [double negatives, but they fit the situation, so sue me.]

JenR said...


A week of financial whines. We are living in the land of crabby insurance companies and mean employers. My health insurance denied the claim for my hospital stay ("not medically necessary"). Our dental insurance declined to pay for my husband's wisdom tooth surgery (looks like missing paperwork). My company decided not to pay me for last week - pending a "better" doctors note than the watermarked one on hospital letterhead (they will pay when they get the new note - but due to doctor vacation and holiday weekends it might be a week or two late). My husband's new job is contract-to-hire, so he's hourly... and in a fit of less than perfect timing, the company is only open 36 hours this week and he won't get holiday pay next week because he's not a regular full time employee.

AW: We are not so strapped that this will be super painful, but it still sucks.

kathy a. said...

(( jenr))

we went through that "not medically necessary" thing once, and i think you should get everyone you can -- the doctors involved, the hospital, people in your family who saw symptoms -- to write why it was medically necessary. enclose it all in a stinging letter asking for review of that decision. if possible, get a lawyer to send a letter hinting at legal action unless this is fixed.

the rules differ in different states, but usually there is a requirement to go through an internal appeal process before legal action. is a source for these rules. (i'm not recommending a lawsuit; just get it together, and they'll usually settle.) poopyheads.

amy said...

I see your point, kathy, but there is some info I left out (for the sake of brevity).

My mom has gone for months on end with no ability to heat food (broken oven, stove, and microwave), right? Well, when I confronted her about when she'd be ready for the new one, she said she thinks she has a microwave in the basement(part of an inheritance from a friend who passed), so she wants to check first. She just won't do it. And if I leave it on her doorstep, she'll be mad because she can't lift it to get it off the porch.

I don't have a key; otherwise, I'd just go look for the other microwave myself or deliver the new one. My kids are not allowed at her house because it is dangerous and dirty, so... I dunno. It's just a mess because it's starting to irritate my husband. I will ask her again this weekend, but if she stalls, I'll take it back and give her the store credit slip. It probably won't come to that, though. I think I can use the fact that it's my birthday to coerce her into taking it (to make me happy).

kathy a. said...

oh, amy. yes, sounds very complicated. xoxo

esperanza said...

keep up the whining and commiserating, pixies. It's late and tomorrow is....*drum roll* Mama's Day Off! (AW). Whine: is it a bit pathetic that I'm so excited about this?

Sue said...

Happy Birthday Amy! And I'm sorry about the difficult and complicated home circumstances for your Mom.

(((Jen R)))

Major AW: We had an absolutely beautiful drive today to our Annual Meeting of the Conference of Manitoba & Northwestern Ontario. We only had to drive for a relatively short 6 hours this year!!!! (Canadians - we measure distances by hours - don't ask me to explain why, it's just what we do).

Saw a couple of deer, a bear and a silly dog who stopped highway traffic for a few minutes before deciding which farmer's field looked more appealing.

Heard an amazing speaker named Shane Claiborne talk about really great ways to to build the future church by looking at the past church. GREAT guy. Very charismatic and uber-dreads. The level of coolness in the room was highly elevated.

Best part: NO headache. Even after a long day like that.

Life is good.

Sue said...

Lame Whine: It's colder than I had planned on. We Canadians love us some Weather Network, so I checked it out this morning and packed accordingly.

Arrived to find out - oh, the shame of it - the Weather Network was wrong. It's fireplacing freezing here. Below freezing tonight. This is the third year in a row that I'm going to have to buy a sweatshirt. ~sigh~

Purple_Kangaroo said...

We kept a potty chair in our car for many years. I've wished we still had it in there at least a couple of times in the last few weeks. Not only does it cut down on the appeal of potty-trips-out-of-boredom, but it also comes in very handy when you're Out in the Middle of Nowhere when a child suddenly has "to go potty really BAD right NOW!!!"

Purple_Kangaroo said...

Speaking of cars, what do the Expert Pixie Team see as the most reliable criteria for deciding when a child is old/large enough to no longer need a booster seat? I ask this because I have two very petite children and DH and I need to get on the same page about whether they should still be in boosters or not.

Also, thank you for the thoughts for my friend's boys. I'm still just trying to wrap my head around it.

JenR said...

PK - check the law where you are - it probably will decide for you. Here it is this: "Age 4 to age 8, between 40-80 lbs., and no more than 4 ft. 9 ins. must be in a booster seat" So until 8, unless they are really tall, they need a booster. The state website even has a handy diagram to help you figure out what to do with your kid if they don't fit neatly within the guidelines.

liz said...

P_K, my heart breaks for those children.

There just are no words.

kathy a. said...

W: stoopid internet went out, possibly until tomorrow. coffee shop =/= good solution.

Anonymous said...

PK--also, even if your kids fit the criteria for getting out of booster seats, check that the seatbelt is hitting them in the right place on that seat in that car....(ie not the neck). That is what is keeping my 9 yr old in a booster seat in the middle section of our mini-van (much to her chagrin). In the way back and in Neighbor Guy's car, she's ok without. Just the way the seat and seatbelt are I guess....

That's my $.02.

--Neighbor Lady

kathy a. said...

whew -- internet back on. today's the surgery, so i didn't want to be disconnected. but -- hi, my name is kathy, and i'm an internet junkie...

PK, it's been a long time since booster seats, but i agree with NL's comment about where the seat belts hit. my kids were short for their ages, and at some point we got these buckle things that adjusted the shoulder belts so they would not hit in bad places -- think we used them both with and without booster seats. [they clipped over the shoulder + lap belts to reposition the shoulder belt.] no idea if this is still something people use.

Yankee, Transferred said...

Serious mothertrucking whine of more stubstance than should be allowed: my 19-year old great-nephew, my brother's first grandson, died in a car crash, leaving behind his bereft parents, sister, grandparents, and extended family. Not to mention the scores of weeping friends.
Anti-whine that was the result: my family, normally very close, became even closer and pulled together incredibly to support this young family. I hope nobody I know ever experiences this kind of tragedy, but if they do, I hope their family reacts as lovingly as mine did. I am sad and proud at once.

kathy a. said...

((((( YT )))))) omg. i am so very sorry -- there are not words for a loss so awful, but sending much love. so glad your family has pulled together with great support. xoxoxo

Sarah at ratatat said...

So so osrry YT. Glad for family togetherness, but at such a cost.

And PK - there are no words. How terrible for that family.

Booster seats until they are 8. Sweet and simple.

JenR - what a mess monetarily. Hope those in need of cluesticking are well thumped.

KathyA - internet outages make me nearly as panicky as power outages, silly as that seems.

Amy - Much ado over a microwave - how incredibly frustrating.

NL - ooh vertigo. Yuck. Get well soon.

Anonymous said...

--Neighbor Lady

esperanza said...

awards tomorrow night. So sorry for the sad news this week.

Purple_Kangaroo said...


On the car seat thing, DH did some research, talked to the kids, and decided that they would go back into the booster seats--a decision which will be reevaluated when they reach a height of 4' 9" and/or 80 lbs, or age 13, whichever comes (since my 10 and almost-9-year olds fit right in with my side of the family and are very small for their ages :) I am happy with this since I did not feel they were physically large enough to fit properly in a regular seatbelt even though legally they are over age 8 and not required to use boosters, and was not thrilled that DH had decided to let them stop using boosters. Communication is generally a good thing. :)

If you all can spare some more thoughts for my friends' boys, there is disagreement about who they should live with, since this was not something that had been arranged by the parents in case something ever happened to them. Both sets of grandparents and several other family members live here in the area. They are getting lots of support from family, friends and church.

kathy a. said...

PK, many thoughts for the boys, and that their family can resolve this amicably.

there will need to be legal arrangements for their guardianship. family courts look to the best interests of the child. social workers will do an investigation and make recommendations to the court if there is a dispute, and the children may even be appointed their own advocates (google CASA). many family courts also have tools like mediation, to help families work out differences of opinion.

kathy a. said...

AW: my friend's wife came through the surgery OK. it was more complicated than expected. she will need chemo. W: fireplacing cancer.

passing a selection of yummy salads, brie and sourdough bread, and a big fat chocolate cake for amy.

liz said...