Monday, April 25, 2011

Introverts Anonymous Whining Post

Whew, the marathon is over for preacher families. Grandparent visits, overflowing churches, new dresses, ouchy shoes, dinner invites, recovering from tummy bug, sniffles, oh my.

Sweet suffered from severe overload all weekend, I guess. She was overwhelmed by things that she usually takes in stride. It came out as silence and a chronic need to be held. Hopefully getting back into her normal routine will help this week.

Mini suffered from allergies, of the upper respiratory and skin rash variety and was generally miserable, night and day.

Mama suffered from the above maladies, plus way too much "face time" with the extended family and various churchy activities.

If you celebrated last weekend, I hope yours was more relaxing than ours. If you didn't celebrate, may I confess a teensy bit of jealousy.

Whichever is the case, let the whines flow...


kathy a. said...

Oh, Esperanza. Hope things get back to nermal again, soonest. ("Normal" is something somebody made up.)

Went to visit daughter at her U over the weekend, and it was lovely! Not exciting -- we ate, we visited the pet adoption place, we saw movies, we just hung out and talked and laughed.

And oy. When I got home, discovered that my son was banged on the head again at some stupid club, and he didn't see a doctor, and just oy. He's an adult. It was all I could do to just bite my damned tongue, tell him I'm sorry, say to call if he needs anything. Even he knows he should not have been in a situation where this could happen, and so I did not say it. But fireplacity fireplace fudge, when is he going to get a clue?

And yes, this is the same son who makes me proud by caring for his neighbor, who surprised us by starting this huge veg garden, who has mostly managed his own stuff for years. The same gentle soul who was so freaked out by death just over a week ago.

liz said...

But it's different when it's HIS head.

Maybe you could frame it as taking care of YOU when he takes care of himself? So you don't worry about him all the time?

Sarah at ratatat said...

Esperanza - I'm exhausted just reading that. We had a priest a bit off the rails and way off topic - but that's what I get for being out of town and choosing based on the time of the service.

Family Easter was fine - all of the little kids were sick on some level. So it isn't that surprising that the 2 year old has pneumonia. Or some other infection. She's sick - the doctor wanted to give her antibiotics, with which I agreed, and the strep test was negative, her ears are only a little pink - she has a cough and the chest x-ray had a shadow. I wish we lived in an era when the doctor didn't have to order all of those tests to justify her decision that the baby is sick...

KathyA - glad your weekend was fun and you didn't know about your foolish son until you got home. Serenity prayer and hugs for you. And I hope he feels better.

liz said...

Esperanza, glad your week is over.

Sarah, hope everybody is all better soon.

I am feeling a helpless rage. I will tell you about it later when the HULK SMASH feeling dies down.

kathy a. said...

uh, oh, liz....

oh, sarah -- the poor little one. hope she is feeling better. chest x-rays for toddlers are just torture.

sorry for jumping in with so much angst -- i am grateful to have a place to vent. son is feeling better. his girlfriend is monitoring. he was embarassed and said he knew i'd be upset. i have the impression that he's been slapping himself with things said in the past, the things i didn't say out loud this time.

Sue said...

esperanza - sorry for the overload and excess face time. I sooooooo get that. sorry too for velcro-Sweet (hey, if I'd been there, you would have been holding me too. Seriously. Easter is a rough weekend for introverts) and for Mini's allergy woes.

Sarah - I hope the ick goes away asap.

kathy a. - you can vent here anytime. A Mama never stops worrying - especially a good one like you.

((((liz)))) hope the need for hulk smash goes away, or at least that you look good in green.

The closest I have to a whine is Teh Tired. Right down to my last teeny bit of DNA. And don't even ask about The Headache. Argh. The new migraine-abortives from local doc worked about 40% of the time over the weekend.

Whine: Now I'm out of the "maybe/maybe not" headache meds. If I wait unti May 5th, my extended health care will pay for the refill (12 tablets at roughly $20 per pill). If I refill early, I pay for it myself. Yikes.

Anti-whine: It's only a week.

Anti-whine: I see the Toronto doc May 4th for another round of injections - same injection sites, this time with Botox which should last longer.

Super Anti-whine: It looks like my extended health plan will pay for the Botox because it is medically necessary. This, after all the docs said "No way. Nobody pays for Botox." HA!!!! A few well-placed and very polite phone calls can go a long way.

emily said...

kathy a.--if your son lectures himself then you have done your job as a mother:-).

big antiwhine--my daughter's damaged beyond repair (soda spilled into the innards) computer was replaced under warranty! They didn't *have* to do it, but they did. Made me an even more loyal owner.

liz said...

YAY for Extended Health Plan! Boo for having to wait a week tho.

W: Still in Hulk Smash Mode. Which I will now talk about.

A person who shall remain nameless has had a red spot near his lip for a while now, which I asked him to get looked at. A request he chose to ignore.

This morning, he sliced it off, shaving.

It bled copiously. To the point where he cancelled a billable meeting because it was still bleeding when he arrived at the meeting place, an hour and a half drive away.

It is now 2:30 in the afternoon and he still hasn't even fireplacing called the fireplacing doctor to get this looked at and it's still fireplacing bleeding.

I. Am. Angry.

But I am remaining calm in my interactions with him. My last email to him (in response to his, "still bleeding" email to me) was this:

"I'm actually kind of annoyed with you that you haven't gone to the doctor since you didn't go to the meeting. Go to the [fireplacing] doctor."

Sue said...

Yay emily for warranties and good customer service!!!!

Liz - that was a very composed response. I completely understand the Hulk response. Also, a new category of male maladies has been created. Along with the well-known Man Cold - we now have the Man Bleed (in which said male will talk a lot about said bleed, but do nothing).

Cluestick poised and ready, though I fear another Man Bleed may result.

Here's hoping it is something uncomplicated - shaving incident on a cold sore??????

liz said...

The red spot's been there for over a year. And considering how much it's bleeding, I'm guessing it had its own blood supply.

Sue said...

Oh no. Definitely time to see the doc. Sorry Liz.

esperanza said...

Oh, Liz, I totally get the Hulk response. Men + Illness = Big Whines all around.

Sue, yay for covered procedures that you need. And boo for headaches and tired.

Emily, yay for covered laptops. (I mean warranty-covered laptops; if said laptop had actually been covered with something, it wouldn't have had Teh Incident.

kathy a., hugs to you and son.

Sweet, with the exception of an hour, has been her best and happy self today. Unfortunately, that hour was during physical therapy, in which she would not even make eye contact with the therapist and in fact hid her eyes. I had to intervene and didn't make any progress either. Sigh. Wish I knew what was going on in that little head.

liz said...

Emily!! Yay for good customer service!

Days said...

Hooray for health coverage and technological warranties and not-too-bad holiday weekends. Fingers crossed for a quick recovery from the over-exposure to various family members.

Liz - eek! Why are men so blatantly stupid sometimes?

kathy a. - ((hugs)) to you and your son - sounds like a few rough weeks all around.

Highlight of the Easter gathering was my 6 y.o. daughter asking my SIL to remove her little dog from the table "because dogs are dirty." Bunnies, kitties and chicks on the other hand, are acceptable dinner guests, in case you require clarification.

Ingrown toenail - treated. Son - suitably chastised and sworn to inform Daddy of foot issues more promptly in the future.

Sarah at ratatat said...

Liz, wow. Wow. That's all I have. Good luck.

Sue - not sure if having the plan makes the headaches more bearable, but glad to hear you have one in any case.

KathyA - hang in there.

Emily - amazing customer service. yay!

Esperanza- I so echo wishing I understood what's going on inside their heads.

Aw: the antibiotics are helping. the 2 year old is more grumpy, less limp. The radiologist agreed with the doctor (who called today to check on the baby, which was very sweet) that is was probably pneumonia. So at least we are treating the right thing.

Whine: my older daughter's anxiety is flaring. It reminds me of how she acted before she started on the meds - and now I don't quite know what to do, because she is on the meds. I feel helpless and in my weak moments, annoyed.

esperanza said...


liz said...


It's the next day and I'm still pretty angry. His face finally stopped bleeding. It looks fine. But I'm still seething inwardly.

kathy a. said...

sue -- hope you are feeling better. yay for coverage!

emily -- it does seem like a good sign when he lectures himself. yay about the computer!

oy, liz. cluesticks.

esperanza, how frustrating.

days -- love the 6 year old's etiquette rules!

((( sarah )))

we got gifted last night with a dead squirrel, dragged in by a very proud junior dog. my beloved thinks that's "cute." ick.

Sue said...

Star-date: April 27th. Woke up to snow again. The team here is becoming increasingly discouraged. The only exception appears to be the small furry four legged creature whose primary task on the duty roster appears to be eating and sleeping. I am beginning to sense that this creature actually leads the team, delegating every task to those around her.

I leave this log in the interest of science, should the team fail to beam back up to the warmth and civilization of the Mother Ship.

liz said...

Sue for style!!

esperanza said...

We'll send a search party, Sue!

Perhaps I shouldn't mention that it's 90 degrees, clear and sunny, with a nice breeze here? *ducking* Of course, half the state is on fire, but it's lovely where we are.

Sue said...

Ha! No need to duck Esperanza, I choose to love here, so I shouldn't complain about the consequences. Even so - it's almost MAY people!!!

Small price to pay for the lack of poisonous snakes OR what the heck am I doing here!?!?

Y'all decide.

Sue said...
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kathy a. said...

snow? 90 degrees?
the pixie world is varied.
i'll take average.

purple_kangaroo said...

Fireplace fireplace fireplace. Lost a precious friend to cancer today.

The friend who died today was one of the most precious people in my life, but I was not in her inner circle enough to be allowed to visit her these last few months.

I'm so angry at myself that I didn't find the time and energy to spend time with her sooner, before it was too late. We saw each other only at church, and talked on the phone a few times. Neither of us had ever been in the others' home. I'm sure she had no idea how dear she was to me, though I tried to communicate it in small ways.

A mutual friend did tell me that she spoke of me recently--within the last couple of weeks, even as she was wracked with pain on her death bed. She made a comment about how going through cancer had given her so much sympathy for me, living with chronic pain and illness. Although her own pain was so much more, and was killing her (unlike mine) she was thinking of someone else instead of herself. She was like that.

Basically I have been letting friendships and even family relationships slip through my fingers for the last several years, because I've been living in survival mode without the energy to reach out and connect and be the driving force. I've allowed my health issues to take too much away from me.

There are exactly two people (outside of immediate family) in my life who have made the effort to reach out to me and maintain at least a casual, occasional relationship. And often I am unable to connect even with them, and with my own family, because the pain and fatigue and living in a fog are just too great. I'm not able to connect deeply when I'm in survival mode, or when all I can think about is going back to bed, when almost every spare moment is spent there by necessity.

It's a bit unsettling to realize how isolated I have become.

I feel like I'm watching my life and my relationships slip through my fingers, and I don't know how to stop it.

kathy a. said...

((( PK ))) i'm so sorry about the loss of your dear friend. she must have felt you special, too. it may be a comfort to her family to know how much she meant to you.

and i'm also so sorry about your own pain, and other stressy things. both are so draining. xoxoxox

Angela Congdon said...
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purple_kangaroo said...

Thanks, Kathy A. I do have people in my life through church groups, etc . . . just feeling disconnected right now. Some of the other stressy things are actually going pretty well, but life is still challenging in some ways, even though really life is pretty good for the most part.

I want to make connecting with people outside of scheduled activities happen more, and be more intentional about developing and maintaining friendships. Things like this always make me want to hold my loved ones close.

My friend left a beloved husband and two school-aged children behind. I can only imagine how much they are hurting right now.

Sue said...

(((((PK)))) I'm so very sorry for your loss.

Name Under Development said...

Our holiday weekend was an uneventful oasis in the middle of a whirlwind of activity. I have missed several Wednesdays of late- the wonderful new job is still indeed a good fit, but is also challenging enough that as the semester draws to a close I have given up the idea of a victory dance and will settle for staggering across the finish line.

Of course, if the fireplacing RAIN doesn’t stop, I’m going to be canoeing to the commencement ceremony –not the effect I was going for in my first commencement working at VeryRuralCollege. Yesterday morning on the way to work I had to make a 20-minute unscheduled detour because the road was flooded shut—that’s how rainy it’s been lately. Naturally, I had taken the GPS back out of my car and given it back to Bert, who needs it for an upcoming trip- so there was no way to make a quick check of possible options. The anti-whine is that the sun was out for long enough in the afternoon that no detour was necessary on the trip home.

Whine: It’s been pouring rain again since midafternoon today. Tomorrow is our end of the semester banquet for the students my department serves. I hope the roads don’t flood shut again.

Major significant antiwhine: Dancing Girl was offered a full-time job in her field on Friday, starting the Monday after graduation! All the $$$$ we paid in tuition appear to be paying off.

Hugs to pixies struggling with clueless loved ones and those who are grieving,


esperanza said...

NUD! Great to hear from you, and please send rain our way! Hooray for Dancing Girl and employment!

PK, many hugs. How well you express the regret so many of us feel when a friend dies.

Keep on whining, pixies. This week is not slowing down; awards later in the week.

kathy a. said...

NUD! yay for staggering across the finish line, and for DG's employment prospect! boo on the flooding -- what's with that?

sarah said...

This is Sarah at Ratatat - Blogger and I are fighting...

Hugs and sympathy for PK. I hope at some point the pain gets better and life gets more bearable and you will reconnect. So sorry for your loss.

NUD - swim across the finish line! The rain is a little overwhelming, and I am not even in one of the most terrible areas of the country for rain right now. And yay for the scholarship.

Sue - keep the snow. We don't want it. :) We've gone weeks without and I do remember May snow but I am blocking that out.

Antiwhine: one of the things my daughter has been worrying about is today - Take Your Child to Work. And she is joyful this morning. It is nice to see her lovely smile.

liz said...


Yay for NUD's daughter! Hope the weather stays merely damp instead of soaking wet for you.

Yay for Sarah's joyful daughter!

liz said...

W: Am anxious that the illness that put me in the hospital a few years ago may be back...Am experiencing worrying symptoms. However, other things in my life are also making me anxious, and for me, anxiety often manifests itself in ways that mimic that illness.

I, however, have no issues about visiting a doctor to discuss this. Unlike certain people with whom I'm still annoyed this week.

kathy a. said...

oh, liz. kudos for leading by example. hope this thing resolves, pronto, and that the anxiety monkeys go bother someone else.

(are we allowed to nominate alternate destinations for the anxiety monkeys? i have in mind a certain presidential wanna-be who is apparently running on the very popular clown-car platform.)

Sue said...

Hi NUD - the snow is actually melting today!!!!! Hooray for your daughter too!

Sorry about worrying symptoms Liz. I hope all is well.

kathy a. - LOL on the "clown-car" platform. I heard a comedian last night say that his slogan would be "We shall over-comb". Heh.

kathy a. said...

sue for mulltet! i'm dyin'. :)

purple_kangaroo said...

((Liz)) I hope it is nothing serious. Good for you for going to the doctor, and the cluestick posse should be coming to your house to visit certain other people, along with the trip to visit Kathy A's son.

((Sarah and girls))


purple_kangaroo said...

Also, DH and I have been filling out rather long and complicated forms because the therapist and the pediatrician decided that my 10-year-old needs more evaluations at the specialty child development clinic at the teaching/research hospital in the next state.

She's doing much, much better with the OCD and anxiety stuff, and the meltdowns, etc. She's ever so much more stable and doing well coping with things like her pencil not being sharp enough, dealing with transitions, things being different from what she expected, etc. without going into total meltdown.

But most 10-year-olds don't greet distant acquaintances that they run into while out shopping by climbing them like a tree, or attempt to literally crawl underneath dogs or people when they get stressed out/overstimulated/bored/cold/whatever, or have trouble understanding concepts such as that grabbing someone's head and yanking it around with no warning is uncomfortable and disliked by most people. Coaching and explaining isn't really doing the trick, although it does help some.

I think now that the other issues are so much better, we have the luxury to worry about the more "minor" stuff. But I do worry, and then I worry about whether I'm worrying too much and overreacting. :)

esperanza said...

I'll catch up with the whines later, for now, I'm posting this for amy, who is having arguments with Blogger:

I just went to whine at the Whiners' Ball, but Blogger will no longer let me post as just a name and URL or as anonymous. :( I don't want to log in, so I'm going to pass this week. Send my love to everyone, please? And also, I'd like to nominate Blogger for a cluesticking.


kathy a. said...

say, what? cluesticking to blogger for sure.

cluesticks also to the people who make people fill out giganto forms just to get something done that needs doing.

kathy a. said...

W: le pook. trip to vet. meds, subcutaneous fluids, special food x 2 days. (the special food part is currently causing an uprising among the unafflicted cats, who feel cheated.)

bonus estimate for $700 worth of tests for cat's chronic wheeziness, which they happened to notice while torturing him in other ways.

sarah at ratatat said...

Same fight I am having with Blogger, Amy! I think I lost.

PK - hang in there! Good luck. Scary stuff.

Jen Evieve said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Sue said...

Aw, kathy a - sorry about the pook. Hope things improve soon.

Whine: remember confused neighbor? The one I took to the pharmacy a few weeks back, etc..... Well, her latest thing is paranoia. And insomnia.

Along with said insomnia, she apparently needs to listen to some music..........VERY loudly. Hubby went over to mention that we can't sleep with the bass shaking the walls
and he quickly wheeled his way back home before she started throwing things.

Anti-whine: we only hear the bass because the building is so well built. The actual music - we don't have to listen to at all.

We're assuming that the resident directly below her will file a noise complaint ASAP, leaving us out of the equation.

Sue said...

Well crappity. No good deed goes unpunished. Ya try to help out, and well no, that's not how it is done. Fine. Next time ask a smart person. Apparently I don't qualify.

kathy a. said...

sue, what happened?

Sue said...

I was bullied by someone in what is supposed to be a supportive collegial group. I was told to do something, was clear about my lack of skills in that area, but did it anyway (quite well, to be honest). Anyway, I got chewed out about a stoopid detail.

I'm over it.

I'm over with collegial group. I have enough pain in my life.

Besides, this is a day for celebration! Yay Wills & Kate!

liz said...

Sue, good for you for standing up.

kathy a. said...

cluesticks to bullies. that doesn't sound very supportive or collegial.

it sounds like your neighbor is really losing it, too.

Sue said...

Thanks pixies. Kathy, you are correct. I do not feel supported at all in this group anymore and sadly that was initiallly it's entire reason for existing. Now it feels very non-collegial and more like high-school every day. If you aren't in with the cool kids - watch your back.

I will not be bullied.


Being done with this clique-ridden gang feels quite liberating actually. I will take away the best of what I got from my experience and walk.

Sue said...

As for the neighbor, that story gets sadder every day. I feel badly for her, but at this point there isn't much we can do.

Name Under Development said...

I tried to leave this update yesterday but Blogger was being stupid and throwing error messages,

The sun was shining most of the day for the banquet, which came off with nary a hitch. Indeed, my former student (grad of previous employer) came to share her experience and her talk totally rocked. She was awesome!

Esperanza, you can most certainly have our rain. I am completely done with it.

Sue, so sorry to hear about the UN-supportive support group. Good for you to have the wisdom to walk away.


JenR said...

{{pk}} and everyone else who needs it. I'll pass Easter candy all around - we certainly have enough to share.

Our realtor wants us to look at houses to buy - and frankly I find it depressing. The houses we have been interested in have sold and I don't want to set excited about something we can't have. We have only had one showing in 6 weeks. It is looking less and less like we might be able to move before we have to cram a crib in our bedroom.

kathy a. said...

oy, jenr. house selling, house buying, house moving -- it all stinks. we cruised open houses for a really long time before we got this house.