Monday, August 17, 2009

Summer, she is winding down

My sweet daughter, age 2, taking "her piece" of the cake.

My big fat whine is really an antiwhine, because my daughter will be flying off Sunday to fulfill a dream she has had for years and years, to spend her junior year of college in Japan. I'm not kidding, she probably first thought of this 8+ years ago. And through some set of miracles, it is happening -- even though Mom thinks it is awfully far and isn't 11 months really a LONG time?

We had this whole adventure at the Consulate today, because boy howdy, do they want a lot of information before you get a visa -- even though she already had a Certificate of Eligibility from the Japanese Ministry of Justice, which might well be the prettiest thing in our entire house.

They wanted new passport-style photos, without glasses. Also, they wanted street addresses and phone numbers not only for where she is going, but for her regular U, and for the fireplacing hotel she will stay at the first night. [Really, they wanted her dorm assignment, but we don't have it yet. And the hotel's website is in Japanese, which wouldn't show the characters on the computer I managed to borrow in the city.] It all worked out, and fortunately the strike on the commuter train was called off last night, so we could get there. She'll get her visa on Wednesday. And possibly start packing by then.

Lest you think I'm going all fancy-pants on you, I continue to have usual whines: ze litter boxes; son lost his temper with me again; my computer's continuing stupidity; and dagnabbit, how can someone of my age get zits?

Let the Whines and Anti-Whines begin!


purple_kangaroo said...

Congrats to your daughter, Kathy A.

Here we have had an interesting week. We got to ride in a police car on Saturday, then on Sunday we had the police at our house and AJ (my 8-yo) broke her wrist.

Antiwhines: The ride in the police car was by choice (because we had to park out in the boonies at the fairgrounds and the nice officer gave us a ride), the Sunday event was due to a false alarm with our alarm system (DH didn't get the memo that the teenagers we gave a key to were actually bringing something to our house for us while we were gone at a meeting, and set the alarm remotely after I locked the door). And AJ has only a small fracture in the bone and has to wear a splint, not a cast, for only 4 weeks.

Although a splint and a tiny crack in the bone still gives her plenty to obsess about. :)

Oh, and I had one of my worst mommy moments ever tonight, trying to get her to take her reflux medicine. Such a sense of futility and powerlessness can occur when trying to get an 8-year-old to do something she doesn't want to do and believes is unecessary.

purple_kangaroo said...

Oh, and Creepy Neighbor has been behaving himself quite well lately, and probably isn't the one who called animal control. We found out that another neighbor apparently makes a hobby of calling in complaints about people's pets--other neighbors have enjoyed the experience as well.

liz said...

Yipes, P_K! I hope your daughter's wrist heals quickly.

We've experienced the "oops! I set the alarm!" visit from the police, too. Embarrassing and scary.

kathy a. said...

poor AJ! and wow, PK, that's a lot of adventure for one week! glad creepy neighbor is behaving. cluesticks to the Pet Patrol neighbor, who clearly needs a better hobby.

margalit said...

My son tried to kill himself on Sunday night and almost succeeded. He is now in the psych ward at Children's Hospital, Boston. Now begins the hard part.

I am a complete wreck, can barely function at the lowest level, and want to join him in the psych ward, where people will take care of me and I can just totally lose it for a few weeks. But alas, I have to be strong.

Still no car, with costs creeping up daily. It's almost $1000 now and on Friday they will declare it abandoned and I'll lose it because I have no money to retrieve it.

Yard sale netted less than $200 due to weather. It was over 90 degrees and nobody came.

Daughter freaking out generally over brother.

Whole town knows what happened and now I'm THAT mother. I need a Tshirt that says "Yes, I'm THAT mother, now move on".

Eviction seems assured as landlady will not negotiate,even with city social worker, hospital social worker, and Dept of Mental Health. She is a real piece of work.

My life is so bad, I'm so overwhelmed and sad I honestly don't have anything left anymore.

KLee said...

Oh, Margalit. I'm so sorry. And, unfortunately, I don't have anything more to offer you than platitudes and prayers.

I hope your son gets what he needs to get well in the hospital. I hope you can find the strength to soldier on from somewhere. I'm so, so sorry.

amy said...


kathy a. said...

oh, margalit. how awful. i am glad your son is in a safe place, and wishing the best to all of you.

keep working with the social workers - they are a good bet for sorting some of it out, and also support for you and your daughter. they probably can also find out what an eviction means [usually it is NOT immediate], and/or put you in touch with legal aid.

Elizabeth said...


I'm sorry to hear that. What KLee said about platitudes and prayers,

This week's whine is that my mother was offered a liver (a good liver, unlike the last one she was offered), but turned it down because she's decided she doesn't want to have the surgery in Florida. But the odds are that she's going to have to get a LOT sicker before she'll get one in NY. I don't think she has any concept of what being that sick means, given that she feels crappy already. It's her decision, and I get that. But it's breaking my dad's heart.

anti-whines: DH is back from his convention and pleased with how it went. He brought back a fun new game for us all to play. At work, I've gotten permission to hire a part-time research assistant for 9 months. And I've got a shiny new printer at home and am amazed at how cheap laser printers have become.

kathy a. said...

hugs, elizabeth, about your mom.

Sarah at ratatat said...

Oh Margalit - I hope things get better.

Kathy A - the trip for your sounds so exciting! My 8 year old talks about visiting Japan some day...maybe it will happen :) Good luck getting through the visa and the bon voyage.

Purple Kangaroo - glad all of the police contact was benign. And yay for splints!

Liz - I think the liver situation would be endlessly frustrating. Good luck. And yes, laser printers have become dramatically cheap, while toner still is ridiculously high. It makes me consider doing the math on replacing my machine when the toner runs out. But so wasteful, sort of. And I tried the cheap knock-offs and I am glad I don't have to print anything of importance. Just endless kids print outs.

My whine/anti-whine is that we almost drowned the older kids last week. But we didn't. We took a small pedal boat out on a lake at the cottage we rented. And we overloaded it - after dozens of nearly similar people combinations. It flipped over. And my 5 year old was stuck underneath. My husband pulled him out. He is fine. I pulled out my 7 year old on instinct and adrenaline. She was in a less precarious position as we feel off the back together, but she was pretty freaked out.

Whine: my husband's post accident reaction was to get sick. After a stomach bug for 5 days, he started a sinus and ear infection. Still going.

Anti-whine: no harm :)

I am feeling the small whine about the sick husband, but the big stuff makes me less whiny. That would be a terrible cure for a regular whiny week for me...I think my grandmother was shocked / annoyed that my husband and I had to crack jokes the rest of the week. Oh well.

KLee said...

My jaw is still very tender, I week post surgery. It's not helped by the fact that I have TMJ and must be clenching during sleep. It has made eating anything with actual texture problematic and painful. Went out to dinner the other night and ordered a burger -- worst mistake ever. Cried like a baby while trying to eat; very embarassed family could only watch while I suffered. Poor husband said the waitress probably thought he was some sort of monster.

Coming down to the last stretch of class -- last day is August 27th. Working on my final project now, and GPA is holding at around an 87. I'm happy with that, though I'd really LIKE an "A." Heck, after almost 20 years out of college, I'll take a "B" and be happy.

Brought home a new friend to love and snuggle -- the cutest little brown bunny ever! Her name is Hershey, and there are pics at my place and on Facebook, for those of you who I know IRL. How can I be sad with my little bun-bun around? Too cute for freaking words....

Sue said...


(((kathy a.)))

(((all the other pixies - I'll be back later to read them more carefully)))

Anti-whine: Two days of trigger point injections have once again left my head completely pain-free. Yay for Wonder Doc in Southern Ontario. The procedure is so simple, it seems quite obscene to collect my Northern Travel Grant for the trip - but since no one here in our city will do the injections, I'll gladly take my tax dollars for it.

Whine: I spent ten hours in two different airports yesterday because of "delays" (shakes fist at fireplacing Air Canada, whose motto should be "We Don't Care Because We Don't Have To".

Whine: Woke up today with ten gazillion things to do before leaving for Halifax for my nephew's wedding. But I feel like crap - really pukey. Bleh.

Sorry pixies - must run.

esperanza said...


I have two small whines this week (and everyone breathes a huge sigh of relief).

Whine of teh Small Town: since I am (doctor's orders) a lazy bum, I have been reading more than usual. My favorite escape reading is the trashy novel. But when one is the preacher's wife, one should not check out trashy novels from the small town library, nor purchase them from the small town stores. So, I'm reading a *slightly* higher quality of book.

Whine of teh Very Nice People: The Care Possee has arranged for a cleaning woman (!) to come to our house every other week. Why is this a whine? I've never in my entire life had a cleaning woman, and I just feel really awkward about the whole thing.

Antiwhine: Sweet Baboo is walking like a champ! And talking! And signing! And Mini-Baboo seems to be behaving him/herself. OB appt on Friday.

liz said...

Esperanza, there is a cure for the "I can't buy the trashy novel blues" Put up a wishlist on your on-line book-seller of choice, and point us to it. Alternatively, email us your address so we can send you our pre-owned trashy novels.

Having a cleaning woman in your house is awkward, but you just accept it gracefully, y'hear? Hide yer extra-specially trashy novels though.

Hooray for a mobile Baboo! And a well-behaved staying-put Mini-Baboo!

kathy a. said...

in antiwhines, the public option isn't dead:

in whines, we are going quite a few hours later than planned to get the danged visa. but AW: visa.

JenR said...

((sarah at ratatat))

There is work here. Much work. Overly complicated time-consuming programs to code, not enough days to do it, and I can't even get started. Why? Other people need help! I turned into that person they ask for help somehow. But since I'm not an Actual Boss, I still have my own coding to do and my own deadlines to meet. The interruptions are plentiful and the work actually getting done (for me) is almost non-existent. Icky.

esperanza said...

The pixies are the best! That wasn't really a plea for pre-owned books, just a whine, but thanks!

And JenR, that sounds like one of those group projects in Jr High where you had to help everyone else do their work and ended up getting a bad grade yourself. Icky, indeed.

Sue said...

You nailed that description esperanza. As I was reading JenR's whine, it was like time-traveling to high school. I was always the shmuck that did most of the work and at the last minute some dumb-a*s would mess it all up. Good times...

As for books, what Liz said sounds perfect. Just let us know, and pixie bookage will be on its way by owl asap.

I'm done packing. FIL picking me up to go to the airport at....wait for it....4:30 am.

Argh. That. Is. So. Wrong. If you're looking for me, I'll be on an early West Jet flight - asleep, hopefully without any unbecoming drooling.

Sweet pixie dreams to all of you.

esperanza said...

Sue, that is way too early. I'll send you my address on facebook, but really, I think I'm going to have quite a stack, so there's no hurry.

And Sarah, I meant to commiserate with the impersonating a lifeguard bit. I once helped pull someone out of the ocean, and it has kind of haunted me ever since, and they weren't even related to me. Makes you shiver every once in a while, huh? Give each other hugs.

kathy a. said...

sarah, what esperanza said about the underwater incident. when i was 12, i saved my young impaired cousin by noticing he was underwater and picking him up. it was a little disappointing because i'd just taken junior lifeguarding classes and this wasn't a very skilled rescue, but getting someone out of the water is a Very Good Thing.

debangel said...

{{Margalit}} There's no good words, only prayers. I'll keep you in mine. Don't lose hope.

Big anti-whine: Am 20 weeks pregnant tomorrow (Thurs) and finding out the sex at the ultrasound on Friday!

Associated whine: Ultrasound is of the Level 2 variety, to be read by a perinatologist, because my numbers came back a little low for Trisomy 18. Passed the scan- threshold is 1:100, I am at 1:140 chance, but still gnawing my nails.

Small annoying whine: Going on 4 weeks with "rhinitis of pregnancy". The insides of my sinuses must look like they're in aspic.

Anti-whine: Am eating Pop-Tarts for dinner and am mature grownup so nobody can stop me. Neener, neener boo boo.

debangel said...

postscript...that should read, "passed the screening". Not had scan yet. Possibly have to follow up with an amniocentesis. Anyone here had an amnio and want to tell me about it?

postpostscript: stoopid cat is eating my Pop Tart!

amy said...

I'd like to call for a cluestick posse to visit debangel's cat (she's pregnant! she should get to eat what she wants!), but it's a cat. cats don't care about clues. I know -I've tried.

My late whine is that I have a cold -- in AUGUST! This is so dumb.

My anti-whine is that although Tater has it too, I'm still nursing, so he should recover faster than me.

Irritation update: my husband continues to irritate me, as I surely do him. No date night efforts have occurred, but there's always this weekend. Maybe. I wish he liked movies. Or TV. Or something I like to do. I wonder if I can find an arcade nearby... I mean, who doesn't like skee ball?

esperanza, have you tried