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Whatever Works
About Wednesday Whining
Wednesday Whining is a weekly blog with rotating hosts. Whines and Anti-Whines, both big and small, are welcome! Our purposes are mutual support and sharing a few laughs along the way.
The Wednesday Whining Community is diverse, and strives to be safe, welcoming, and supportive. To this end, comments that are personally abusive or otherwise disparaging [regarding race, ethnicity, religion, gender, sexual orientation] will be deleted by moderators, along with spam and self-promotion.
The Wednesday Whining Community is diverse, and strives to be safe, welcoming, and supportive. To this end, comments that are personally abusive or otherwise disparaging [regarding race, ethnicity, religion, gender, sexual orientation] will be deleted by moderators, along with spam and self-promotion.
FAQ
Q: When does Wednesday Whining appear?
A: The Whiner's Ball commences no later than Tuesday, and ends when Awards are given (usually Thursday in theory, but definitely before Monday).
Q: Awards? Really?
A: Yes, really. Traditional awards include Style [music, poetry, etc.], Old Skool [piddly little whines], and Elevated Risk of Mullet [funniest line in a whine], but other hand-crafted awards may be granted at the host's discretion, and nominations from commenters are encouraged.
Q: Can I whine about someone who just does not "get it"?
A: The Cluestick Posse is on hand for persons in need.
Q: Is there a mascot?
A: Ralph is the mascot.
Q: Are there other traditions I should know about?
A: The passing of virtual refreshments is appreciated.
Q: How did this all get started anyhow?
A: Phantom Scribbler was our muse and host for two years.
Q: What was the first prize ever awarded?
A: The Playdough Violin
A: The Whiner's Ball commences no later than Tuesday, and ends when Awards are given (usually Thursday in theory, but definitely before Monday).
Q: Awards? Really?
A: Yes, really. Traditional awards include Style [music, poetry, etc.], Old Skool [piddly little whines], and Elevated Risk of Mullet [funniest line in a whine], but other hand-crafted awards may be granted at the host's discretion, and nominations from commenters are encouraged.
Q: Can I whine about someone who just does not "get it"?
A: The Cluestick Posse is on hand for persons in need.
Q: Is there a mascot?
A: Ralph is the mascot.
Q: Are there other traditions I should know about?
A: The passing of virtual refreshments is appreciated.
Q: How did this all get started anyhow?
A: Phantom Scribbler was our muse and host for two years.
Q: What was the first prize ever awarded?
A: The Playdough Violin
Moderators
Blog Archive
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2008
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October
(11)
- Awards: Spooky Halloween Edition
- WW: Metal Mouth Edition
- Redzils' Birthday Edition - Better Late Than Never
- Let's try again....
- Prizes: Excuse The Delay -- I'm Old, Don'tcha Know?!
- WW: The "To Everything There Is A Season" Edition
- Please give blood. And be an organ donor.
- A New Day (edited to add a PSA)
- I interrupt today's whining to let you know
- Wednesday Whining: Garlic Breath Haiku Edition
- Awards!
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October
(11)
43 comments:
I just beat to death* with a piece of cardboard and Discworld book what appears, in the picture I took before pounding it into drywall paste, another brown recluse spider. In my bathroom.
As you may recall, over the last sixish weeks: a spider bit the dog; she spent three days (and nights) at the animal hospital, developed necrotic spots, and is *still* on steroids and antibiotics; I had to borrow money from my mother to buy her out of the vet's office, since her tab was twice my rent that month; and before she could come home, we had exterminators. The dog STILL isn't finished healing, the apartment is supposedly still toxic, and yet the spiders are back.
What do I do now? Move?
*I am the world's worst killer of insects. Excepting mosquitoes, I generally just capture them for relocation. However, this guy is known to be toxic and I Dont Want Him Anywhere Near My Dog (Or My Bed).
redzils wins.
but -- this is a rental property -- can't you get your landlord to deal with the bugs?
Redzils definitely wins. Brown Recluse trumps mouse. Which is apparently still there. The other adult who lives here is ignoring it all together, and I haven't been to the hardware store to get a trap. Sigh. On the other hand, I haven't seen the little dude--maybe the incompetent cat scared him (her?) away.
In other whining, the Sweet Baboo has lost all knowledge of how to sleep through the night. She's up for two hours at a time, at least once, sometimes twice. Every night for a week. Argh.
Whine or Antiwhine: she's thisclose to crawling foward, can already go backward, and does a very cute commando crawl. Could it be she's finally working on catching up to her actual age? or is it goodbye to leaving her alone in the room for more than a nanosecond?
Redzils wins!!!
Esperanza, the sleep will get better as soon as she can crawl. Then it'll go downhill again when she starts working on standing.
crossing fingers that the mouse went away, esperanza. and very sorry about the no-sleep-athon.
whine: cat # 2 brings the bodily fluids today. do you suppose anyone sells cat diapers? i've got him locked in a bathroom with teh kitty equivalent of the BRAT diet: lots of rice cereal and a little jarred baby chicken. there shall be great unhappiness in the household today. cats 3 and 4 [the groupies] are already holding vigil outside the prison door.
antiwhine: less than a week, and this endless political season will be over!
whine: time change this weekend. i hate the fall time change. hate it.
antiwhine: my sewing project is coming along swimmingly! still has a way to go, but there is something satisfying about making things with one's hands.
Wow... quiet day here. I have a headache, and have for two days. Added bonus - this afternoon I go in to the dermatologist for a much-procrastinated appointment to get rid of two thingees on my forehead. In the hairline. They are apparently not too scary-looking for the future of my health. Just terribly annoying. Plus it will hurt. I am already whiny about my headache so I'm sure I'll be in a fabulous mood later today.
I hope all the rodents and spiders afflicting the pixies go away soon.
thoughts with you, jenr. pain meds? that 2 day headaches sounds no-good, terrible, rotten.
Spiders and cats and skin growths, oh my! This is definitely the spooky Halloween whines week.
I'm hoping that in some odd reverse-Murphy effect having the thingies removed will get rid of JenR's headache.
esperanza, are you still pumping for the Sweet Baboo? and are you by any chance exposed to a lot of Halloween chocolate? It was 8 years ago this week that tiny little Snuggly Girl started waking up for two hours at a time in the middle of the night . . . though the "developmental spurt" explanation might be more accurate in your case. In my case, it was "no more chocolate for mama" for the rest of my nursing career. Sob.
My Tales from the Orthodontist Chair involve Snuggly Girl who is getting the dreaded Palette Stretcher tomorrow. URGH. I have admitted to her that it will hurt, but tried not to make a big deal about it because anticipatory anxiety is not going to make anyone's life easier. It'll hurt when it hurts, ya know?
Last week she got the spacer rubber bands in on Wednesday and then we went on Thursday to have a mold taken to be used in fabricating the stretcher/torture device.
Anti-whine: This time she didn't throw up when the mold was taken.
Whine: She was worried all the way there that she would.
Anti-whine: I sang the ABC's to distract her and she didn't throw up.
Whine: The boy in the other chair did. Twice, as far as I could tell.
Anti-whine: SG didn't notice. And now I definitely don't feel as bad about the first time when SG did throw up.
madeline, thanks for the laugh.
Redzils gets a shiver of horror for the evil poisonous spider
kathy a gets the bodily fluids award so far.
My whine: many of the websites I want to check out are suddenly unavailable. I don't *think* this is a workplace policy. You can't cut me off from my real clear politics with less than a week to go until the election!
Madeleine, such a thought must be banished instantly. Yes, I'm still pumping. I'm also eating chocolate, but no more than I have been for lo these many months. No other forms of caffeine. But you can't take away my chocolate! No, no, no! We'll just go with developmental spurt, a much needed one at that.
And SG has my utmost sympathy for the horrid palette expander. Torture. And that awful mold-maker thing. Of course it makes people throw up. Ugh, the repressed memories are all coming back.
Whine: I took a wrong turn on the way home Saturday evening and ended up driving almost an hour in the opposite direction from home before I realized it. We were an hour from home already when I took the wrong turn.
I had the kids and the dogs with me, and no husband. And I was crashing. 2 hours from home. No way I could drive home at that point.
Antiwhine: We were at the beach! And I found a little hotel with a manager who, when she heard our story, gave us a room really cheap.
Whine: We had no toothbrushes, dog food, etc. and the girls were in party dresses and shoes.
Antiwhine: We found sweats and tees for $1 to $3 at a local pharmacy/variety store that was still open. And, since my dog is a service dog in training, there was no problem finding a hotel or taking her into stores with me. We went shopping at the outlet mall, and found clothes and shoes the kids needed anyway for great prices.
We had an absolutely marvelous time. I was able to pace myself pretty well and keep from any super-huge crashes, with the help of my dog alerting for me when I started to overdo it, helping pick things up for me that I dropped, and helping keep me grounded and balanced when the flourescent lights etc. started to bother me.
Did I tell you all about my dog? She is amazing. We've only had her for 8 weeks and she's already a huge help to me.
The girls had been extremely whiny and high-maintenance, really feeling the lack of focused Mommy time. I actually felt pretty good for a few days, especially with the beautiful clear sunny weather. This experience was so good for my relationship with the kids, and we'll remember it forever.
We stopped at BIL and SIL's place on the way home to spend the night and break up the drive, and had a fabulous time there.
So my whine isn't really a whine, but it was a great reminder that Someone is looking out for us--and that, with the right attitude, even a wrong turn can end up being a beautiful thing. I posted photos on my blog.
Oh, another whiny incidental whine: I am coming down with a cold. And am fighting a flare-up after all the excitement and activity the last few days. Cold and flare-up together=Very Bad Thing.
Antiwhine: I have an appointment with the PA recommended by Excellent Teaching Hospital tomorrow.
Another Antiwhine: My 7-year-old started her own blog yesterday, and it's the most adorable thing ever.
Madeleine, my daughter had a palette expander when she was 3. At first it was horrible, but what helped is that the ortho had HER keep a record of how bad the pain was using those cartoon faces from 1-10. It helped a LOT for her to be involved. What was worse was the retainers though. She lost 3 of them. At $300 a pop. Only one paid for by insurance. Gulp.
Purple Kangaroo, can't wait to hear what your new primary care doctor says.
Whine: My son, the horrible one that has behaved like shit for the last few weeks? Remember him? Well, he's been lying about taking his meds. I found that he was totally not taking anything, not even his ADHD meds, never mind the anti-psychotics. 2 days on the meds and he's a new person. I have to hand dole them out, which stinks.
Whine: While said son was insane, he skipped many of his honors english classes and got kicked out of the class today, and now is in level 2 curriculum (special needs) English where he will learn NOTHING and will do NOTHING. I'm so angry I could spit.
Whine: Because of being so broke I finally had to go to Trader Joes and bounce a check to get some food. We had nothing in the house. NOTHING. So now I'm like $500 overdrawn and with no way to pay it back. Bounce fees are up to $50/check. I'm so screwed.
Whine: I have a rash that I can't get rid of. I've used OTC cortisone, then RX creme, and it's still flaring up. No new detergents or soaps. I think it's like a heat rash as it's in a 'delicate' spot. It burns and itches like crazy.
Anti: My daughter has been mostly delightful and pleasant lately. She loves having money, that one.
Whine: But that has no stopped her from smoking pot and leaving the evidence around. Found a large blown glass peace pipe in her room and hid it. Second one I've found.
Anti: Mid-CenturyModernMom.com has been up and successful for a year this week.
Whine: Elderly cat has not stopped his nocturnal emissions under my bed or in the dining room.
Anti: Pepper the kitten is so cute, so absolutely adorable that she continues to be first class entertainment as well as a snuggle bug. LOVE HER!
madeleine, much sympathy about the torture device. the ABC song is magic, no? yay, for no barfies!
elizabeth, we may have to do deprogramming together. i have fits when my internet acts up, or someone i read goes away.
PK, that sounds like a wonderful accidentally-longer-than-planned trip! and your dog IS fabulous.
margalit -- so glad your son is back on his meds and human again! maybe he can try working something out with the honors class -- but let *him* do it. he will be learning something from this, one way or the other. keep breathing! you are smack in the middle of the rough years. i don't think you need be shy about confiscation and grounding for daughter, although that is a huge pain in the ass and guaranteed to lower your popularity ratings.
Margalit, you might check into whether there's a program like Gleaners or something similar in your area. They have it in our area, and basically stores and other organizations donate food that's about to expire or is overstock, and people can take what they need in exchange for some volunteer hours helping run the program.
If you do an internet search for something like gleaners food yourstate (or yourcity), you should be able to find out if they have a branch in your area. Or look for food bank yourstate (or yourcity).
Hey, pixies . . . I've been trying unsuccessfully to hire someone to do some yardwork and paint (actually oil) our fence and pick up branches and junk in the yard for weeks.
Every time I think I have someone lined up they decide they don't want to do it, don't have time, it's too long of a drive, etc.
Hello, people, I'm offering money here. All you have to do is work for it. Is that too much to ask?
Anyway, do you all know what the going rate is for paying a teen (or even an adult) to do this sort of thing? I'm offering $10 per hour, which seems high to me, but maybe isn't enough? What do you pay? Or, alternatively, what would you charge to do that sort of thing on a casual basis if you were a teenager?
Late in the day whine from this part of pixie-land. Oh, I can SO empathize with those orthodontic whines Madeleine. I had mine in my early thirties. Don't recall barfing, but then, I usually had red wine after every adjustment....ya. Good times.
The bonus: My teeth are fabulous now. I can't drink red wine anymore, but the teeth - nice.
Whine: I was told by someone in my church today that my blog was too "negative" - that my comment last week about the possibility that moving and going back to work in the same week might not have been the best move I ever made - well, it was not "upbeat" enough.
Sorry if my fireplacing STRESS isn't upbeat enough for you folks. Don't like it - don't read it - that's what I say.
I never should have given ANYONE in my congregation the blog address. I only know of a few who read it. It sounds like there are more.
Also: apparently the congregation needs to see my strength right now, not my "fragility". So.......if I happen to be fragile, I can't write it on my own fireplacing blog because it's, you know, such a downer.
Now I can't decide whether to just shut her down or what. It's just that my blog is how I connect with my son who lives out of town, other clergy, and people I care about a lot - including plenty of pixies. I feel so "edited" and really, kind of violated, like something that used to be mine has been taken away and sent back with a new set of rules.
All in all - this day sucketh.
Anti-whine: Still no elevator, but the condo is awesome. And - we have a microwave and cook top so we can actually heat up meals. Hot food that isn't take-out! Woot!
Whine: It's cold enough here that the balcony is presently acting as the fridge.
Anti-whine: Barack.
Sue, what a sucky blog whine! I suggest the old duck and re-register trick. Like, start a new blog and only tell the people you like reading it the address.
Although I don't have a blog, I just seethe every time someone tells a blogger not to write about a particular topic on their blog. Like, whose business is it? It isn't the national newspaper, it's a private blog.
sue, that really stinks! your blog is not the church newsletter, and its purpose is not to be always uplifting to whomever happens to read it. saddling up for the cluestick posse...
Madeleine, my oldest son bought me my domain name for my birthday last year, so I really want to keep it. Also, InnerDorothy has become such a part of me, I would be really sad to give up the name.
I really don't know what to do. I feel like someone is watching over my shoulder while I post.
Bleh.
sue, why don't you ask your son's advice? you don't have to follow it, but maybe he'll have ideas.
the looking over teh shoulder thing just does not sound very good at all.
Votes for Redzils and Sue. And everyone else, too.
Whining quickly on the way to work...
I stayed home from work yesterday due to a migraine that just! would! not! quit! only to find when Juggling Freak got home that our water heater died at some point during the day. Oh, what fun.
One Big Home Supply Store would sell us a hot water heater and have it delivered for a nominal charge, but has no one on staff right now who can install them. The Other Big Home Supply Store wants almost the cost of the water heater to deliver and install it. Plus, there would be an EXTRA $75 fee for Saturday delivery, and an $85 fee if the heater is located in a small space. Aren't ALL hot water heaters tucked away in a small space?!?
So, we have no hot water. It was really fun heating a pot of water on the stove this morning so I could wash my hair and various unmentionable parts!
Sue, keep your blog. Keep writing. And I hope that your congregant sucks eggs. If they can't see the grace and wisdom coming from how you dealt with encountering two of lifes biggest stressors in one week, then they need some serious clue-sticking.
Sounds like you've got a sermon right there.
I found out this morning that kids, dogs, and oil-based fence stain don't mix. Or rather, they shouldn't.
AW: Saw the new PA and he advised me not to participate in a clinical trial just yet, gave me some prescription sleeping medicine and muscle relaxant to try (not at the same time), and referred me for the sleep study and the fibromyalgia clinic. And ran a bunch of bloodwork that they'll need for the FMS clinic.
And, I have a 15-year-old boy from our homeschool group on his way over to help with the fence (I also got an electric sprayer, so he's going to backroll for me while I spray, or something like that) and yardwork.
So no real whines, except the cold and the flare-up, which is coming on and is going to be especially fun after going to the doctor and the store and painting today (can we say overdoing it?).
Klee, if you were nearby I'd invite you over to use our hot water. ((Hugs))
((((KLee & PK))))
Thanks Liz. I'm still in shock about the whole thing. I think I will be posting something about the purpose of my blog, how it nurtures an important part of my spiritual life, and how I need for it to be real. I just need to figure out how to do all of that without sounding like I'm bitching out the guy who told me it was too "negative".
Keep the cluesticks at the ready. He probably won't like what I have to say. But the truth is, my blog is too important to me to give it up for some shlep who just doesn't get it.
Hat tip to you and also to kathy a for reminding me what it's all about.
woo hoo to sue!
klee, i hope you have some hot water! geesh.
hugs to PK. xoxo
Ooh, whining still open.
Feel free to ignore this. It's very long and whiny. I just needed somewhere besides my own blog to put it.
I'm feeling super whiny now after 3 hours of oil-staining the fence. The 15-year-old worked very hard. So did I. We barely finished the back stretch (the part that was showing the most water damage) before the first drops of rain started falling. But the rain stopped. I really hope it has time to dry for the requisite 24 hours before the days-long winter rains that are supposed to hit set it.
I'm already not sure it was worth the cost. I'm in so much pain right now. And I'm really mad and frustrated that my DH makes me be the one to do this kind of thing. Even though I know I'm being completely unreasonable, since he usually picks up (much of) the slack on the housework and parenting when I'm not feeling well.
I've been trying to get him to help with the fence for months (years, actually), and it took him weeks (and numerous requests on my part) just to haul the heavy can of oil out to the back fence from the driveway for me after I bought it.
And now at least the most weather-worn part is done, but I know it's going to cost me days or weeks of functionality. Maybe I should have just let the fence rot, like we've been doing for the past 6 years.
It just makes me steaming mad that DH told the person who had hired me (via barter) that he thought the graphic design project they were having me do was too much drain on my health and energy (what with all that sitting at the computer) and that they should take it away from me and give it to someone else. Which they did. Which makes me feel like even more of a colossal failure than I already did, because, you know, that was the one thing I thought I could manage to do.
He thought building a website was too taxing for me. And here I am doing the heavy yardwork and the most draining and difficult parts of the housework (and pretty much all of the so desperately needed digging the family out from piles of clutter) because he won't. He's too busy and tired.
And we wouldn't want to interfere with the movies, web-browsing, blogging and video games he spends his time on in the evenings and weekends--after doing dishes and laundry, preparing and teaching a Bible study and putting the kids to bed.
I'm such an unreasonable person, I can't even stand to be around myself right now. How can I expect him to do yardwork and help with picking up and decluttering when he's doing the majority (or at least half) of the inside work that gets done?
But that just means nobody does it, and I'm the one that gets fed up with it enough to do something about it or else our stuff gets ruined because we don't take care of it. Usually the stuff just gets ruined.
We've been in this house over 6 years, and this is the first time we're actually doing any kind of maintenance work like cleaning the roof, oiling fences, etc. I think the heat pump filter has been cleaned twice since we've been here--maybe 3, if DH did it once. Which is probably why the heat pump broke last week. I think it's supposed to be cleaned monthly.
I've been saying this stuff needs to get done for years. But DH just doesn't really care about it, and he feels that such things are my area of expertise, not his. Which is really true (since I'm a contractor's daughter and grew up with a saw and nailgun in my hand, and he's a total geek), but very frustrating. He has no appreciation for traditional gender divisions of labor, LOL. And neither of us is good at picking up after ourselves even in normal life, anyway.
I'm hoping I can at least talk him into cleaning the paintbrushes and putting away the paint supplies, since at this point I hurt so badly I can hardly move. I'm usually more sore the next day or two after overexertion, so if I feel this bad already now I'm dreading the next few days.
PK, he tanked a job you have, saying it would be too hard for you? and you had to do the fence?
i'm sure he's a wonderful man in many ways, but he needs a serious cluesticking. by the entire posse. perhaps a couple of rounds.
I'm with Kathy A. here. I love your DH dearly, PK, but I've got my cluestick at the the ready to bop him.
Thanks, ladies. Everyone needs a cluestick sometimes. Even my otherwise wonderful DH.
I can't even discuss this with him right now; I'm too mad. It isn't the first time he has in some way or another put the nix on something I wanted to do that was a creative outlet for me, because he thought it would be too much for me.
I feel like yelling, "If you're really that worried about my health and stamina, maybe you should try taking on some of the more difficult tasks around the house and yard so I don't have to do them. That would help a lot more than this."
Bless his heart, the man cleaned the painbrushes and sprayer for me, with mineral spirits. In the bathroom sink. And then left the used solvent in an open jar on the countertop (and dripping down the sides of the jar).
I couldn't figure out why the house seemed to be filling with fumes until I went on a search for the source of the odor and discovered the brushes and sprayer drying in the kitchen and the lidless jar of solvent on the bathroom counter.
It's really a very good thing I couldn't sleep. Who knows what kind of shape we all would have been in by morning with the fumes billowing upstairs all night long.
A friend once told me, "You and your DH are a really good illustration of the fact that really intelligent people often have very little common sense."
PK, I agree with the giant pole of a cluestick for your DH. Perhaps a telephone pole might be handy? Or, as I would do, hire someone to do the work and then when he bitches about the $$, say "Well, you wouldn't do it and I couldn't do it, so what was I to do?" I'm always big on letting people know how passive aggressive I can be. :-)
Also, forgot to update you all on my daughter's BF. There is good news and bad news. She is going back to school on Monday. She will be living at the program she's currently in (it's a GREAT place and she's so lucky to have landed there) until she's 18. She will have NO contact with her 'parents' at all. BUT... her father didn't get arrested for breaking her arm. I do not know how he got out of it, but he did. I even checked at the courthouse because I didn't believe the police, but it's true. No arrest!
Daughter is psyched to see her friend, and we will hopefully be able to take her for weekends. But we have to jump over some hoops, get a CORI on everyone in the family, and ensure that the restraining order is still in effect.
But she's coming back to school and to her beauty school as well, so she'll have something to do once she graduates.
Margalit, I'm so glad your DD's friend is safe. Grrr that the man didn't get arrested.
The thing is, my DH wouldn't mind if I did hire someone to do the work. It's my hang-up that we should be doing it ourselves, not his. And he would probably feel it was worth the $$ (within reason), expecially given that he just got a pretty nice raise.
So I just need to get my act together and start hiring teenagers or other people to do the things that can be hired out. I just have to figure out how much we can budget for such things.
Margalit, so glad about your daughter's BF being back, so angry that her father wasn't arrested.
PK, hire people already. You do so much as it it.
Er..."as it IS".
Hugs for PK - that is AWFUL about not only the work, but the possible outcome if you hadn't spotted the fume-creating mess left behind!
I posted about why I blog, what my blog is and is not, and how I feel about it all. I'm hoping that clue-stick-needing-church person sees it and buys a clue. Or at least a vowel.
*Le sigh*
yeah, sue!
PK, i also vote for hiring people, 'cause you do enough already!
margalit, that is so wonderful your young friend ended up in a safe place! hard to understand how dad didn't get arrested -- but if he violates a restraining order, he will be.
i'm gonna pretend it is still wednesday. remember my SILfH? she is trying to get back on disability after she was fired -- and it appears that she is finally getting serious about seeing and listening to doctors. [her MO has been to fire every professional who says something she doesn't like...]
my husband just told me that her neurologist says she has dementia. i don't think that is the whole story, because she has always been crazy -- but it sounds very plausible that this is a piece of it.
she is only 50. she has alienated everyone in her life. i'm trying to come to grips with the idea that my husband will end up caring for her in some capacity for the rest of our lives. fireplacity fireplace damn.
Kathy A, that totally sucks.
Would your husband be okay with "Caring For" being finding her a high quality secure place and visiting a few times a year? Because really, just because she's legitimately sick doesn't mean that she's not still a jackass.
she is still being assessed, and i don't know what the recommendations will be. but shit, dementia doesn't generally get better, you know?
she is not ever going to live with us again. and we are not going to assume personal financial responsibility for her. we just can't.
i'm just guessing she could still live independently if she has assistance with financial and practical matters, and if she follows treatment recommendations. but those are big ifs. she really really likes getting people to do stuff for her -- but she is fiercely irresponsible about money, always has been, and will not like being restrained in her spending. i worry that she will decide she doesn't like this diagnosis, and just blow it off until she has to be institutionalized -- but that's speculaton, will have to wait and see.
you know how families divide responsibilities -- someone does the car repairs, someone does the costumes, etc.? i do the illnesses and mental illnesses in our family. i cared for my grandmother in a nursing home for years, when she was disabled and had dementia; visited my MIL during psych hospitalizations long ago, and when she broke her hip; worked the treatment programs when my son ran off the rails; did extensive family support for a dear young guy with brain cancer; made the medical decisions for my mom after her stroke; and so on.
my husband's going to have to learn some of this, since SILfH and i do not speak. he was already thinking of calling her psychiatrist because he knows she is not giving a full or accurate history.
well, maybe i can do backup and support. sigh. it's not likely to be pretty, this next stretch.
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