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Tuesday, May 13, 2008

The Hills Are Alive

Afternoon serenade, 20 feet from my office window.
Our brilliant dogs have developed a new hobby, collaborating with a particularly rambunctious young deer: Inter-Species Standoff! The deer comes right up to our fence and says, "Nyah nyah nyah! You can't catch me!" The dogs bark their fool heads off. The deer prances; the dogs bark more. And so on. The deer is several times the size of the dogs, and could easily jump the fence, but the dogs clearly hold the noise advantage.

In antiwhines -- even though I enthusiastically endorsed the Mothers Against Mother's Day Movement last week, and expected a quiet [ha!] day alone with the domestic and native wildlife, my son rode the bus and his bike to visit Sunday. We've had our ups and downs, as some might recall, but it was terrific to just hang out with him. And he brought an anti-Hallmark card:


What's new by you? Bring your whines and antiwhines both big and small, funny stories and turns of phrase. Passing the virtual popcorn.

25 comments:

liz said...

Nice card!

Anti-whine: I am done with my last final. School's out. I'm graduating Thursday.

Whine: I am done with my last final. School's out. I'm graduating Thursday.

I'm glad to be done, but I loved school and can't wait until Fall 2009 when I go back for more.

turtlebella said...

Pregnancy whines: I'm 5 months pregnant now, pixies. And my belly is kinda achy. Not painful, mind you. Just uterine stretching pains I think. And the fact that the uterus is pushing all my other organs around. It's not very pleasant. Also I think I am getting varicose veins. And I'm sure it just gets prettier from here, right?! :)

Pregnancy anti-whine: my anxieties over possible miscarriage seem to have passed. I really hated feeling anxiety all the time about this (for no particular reason, mind you). It's nice to feel calmer.

Congratulations to liz on finishing & graduating!!!

Miranda said...

Yay Liz!!!

I feel like I haven't slept in days. Probably because I haven't. My cat has taken to staying by my side day and night.

It is really too bad she can't drive or I would have napped while she picked up the kids from schoo. Since she has four paws, she could have managed the whole drive on a quiet residential street while answering Teen Son's call.

I tried to swerve but it was too late. Mailboxes and sideview mirrors were not meant to be possibly become BFFs at 25 mph.

Teen Son says I am a dork, but i left a note with my phone number in the mail box that was now dented.

And thanks to the generations of jerry-riggers that have gone before me plus many hours spent watching the Red Green show, I have affixed my sideview mirror to my van with copious lengths of duct tape.

Teen Son says it's official: We need to call in Xhibit from Pimp My Ride.

Daughter cooked dinner tonight because I was done at that point.

I should sleep but that means tomorrow is closer and I am not ready for it yet. Another fun morning of dragging kids (literally) out of bed and throwing kids (literally) into the van all without the benefit of caffeine.

Madeleine said...

I have a sore on the tip of my tongue.

I was going to leave it at that, but I feel compelled to tell you that at the afternoon coffee break of my conference today they served really yummy lemon squares. Really tart, lemony lemon squares. Had to leave half on my plate because, ouch! Sore on the tip of my tongue. Couldn't take another bite.

Anti-whine, of course, was the brownies. They didn't hurt at all.

margalit said...

Didja miss me last week? I completely forgot it was Wednesday! So much on my mind, apparently.

So this week? Well, my daughter is no longer speaking to me, which is both a whine and an anti-whine. She is furious with me because while we were in Chicago she was texting right and left and when I asked her not to, and who she was texting, she lied and said it was a girlfriend, and then continued to text. 46 text messages. And she got 45 back. From her SCUMMY boyfriend who was sending her text porn. About his big throbbing cock. Oh yeah. So I sent him a message back. Then I put her on phone restriction: no cell phone, house phone to be answered only by me, she make calls that I dialed, and phone stays downstairs at all time. I think this is fairly reasonable, she thinks I'm insane and the meanest person on the planet. Ahem.

Trip to Chicago was great. We learned some new things. If you get a wheel chair right as you enter the airport you DO NOT have to wait on line for anything, even security. They just wheel you right through the crowds. What used to take 2 hours took 15 minutes.

People in crowds do NOT look where they are going and tend to get in the way of wheelchairs. Dumb bunnies.

Chicago IS windy. And cold. But WHAT a great city. I want to live there. Really. Am now talking son into applying to Northwestern. Heh.

The reason people in Chicago are heavier? The FOOD, people. OMG. Restaurant heaven.

I now have auburn hair. And blue finger/toe nails. Navy blue. I am still fat, however.

Like Madeleine, I have a sore on my tongue. I also have two canker sores. And my nose keeps bleeding. Allergies. My suggestion: chop down all trees and ban them from anywhere I roam. Hate them.

I have made a new friend and it has made me very very happy.

I still love alcohol. Sigh.

My son has been awesome lately. So it's daughter's turn to be wretched.

And that's a wrap!

Sara said...

No old-school whine this week. Just a school one.

Primo's clear, but undiagosed sensory issues, which formerly were apparently but did not interfere with daily life, have Risen to the Level of Disability. At least, where the school district is concerned.

The results of the Occupational Therapy evaluation are in the mail, but apparently the OT recommends 1x/week OT for him. And who knows what the finding of "visual motor integration" issues will require. It explains the poor kid's lack of progress in handwriting though.

So we're heading down the 504 road now. Yikes.

Elizabeth said...

Whine: So, you guys know about birthmonth email lists? I was on a Jan01 one when I was pregnant with D -- it was very active when we were all pregnant, and for maybe the first year, and then it mostly ran out of steam, but we post occasional updates. Well one of the moms posted this week that her Jan01 son and her father were both killed last Friday in a car accident. So, not someone I really know, but it still hits close to home... Between that and the disasters in China and Burma, I've been on the verge of tears all week.

Old school whine: All my shoes seem to be giving me blisters.

kathy a. said...

elizabeth, i'm so sorry. what shocking, awful news. xoxox

The History Enthusiast said...

I don't come to the whiners ball a lot, but this week's already been a bitch.

Whine: I am really struggling with the transition into dissertation work. I am constantly guilty about how little I work, and then I get really depressed. Like, curl up in bed and cry depressed. I think that's why I've been so tired and I feel like I've been run over by a semi.

Anti-whine: My puppy is finally behaving herself. She only gets into trouble once or twice a day, instead of at least once every hour. This morning she woke me up by licking my ear and then snuggling down next to me with her head on the pillow. Such a doll.

((Elizabeth))--This has been a sad week. I hope you feel better.

KLee said...

Last night at rehearsal, we began running with what props and costumes we already had for the show. This also meant the new cafe/bistro tables for the third act. Before rehearsal began, the director took me aside, and said (as kindly as he could, God love him) that the chairs were very flimsy, and maybe I shouldn't sit on them. What he *meant* was that I was too fat for them. I got really embarrassed, and he tried to make me feel better by saying that he's very protective of his actors, and he doesn't want us to get hurt. I believed him, because he doesn't strike me as someone who's mean for the fun of it, but it still stands that I was too fat for them, and I found it very shaming. I should be used to it by now, but I'm not. I cried like a baby all the way home.

And the hell of it? I've been on a diet since school began, and I've lost about two sizes. And in a healthy way, not in a fad/crash diet kind of way.

Sue said...

So sorry elizabeth - that's so very sad.

history enthusiast - i hear ya on teh curl up in bed and cry bit. That's become a daily ritual of mine lately.

Go Liz!!

Anti-whine: My appointment with the headache specialist has been moved up by three weeks. I'll be seeing him on June 9th!

Anti-whine: Great visit with my family doc yesterday. By jove, I think he's got it!

Whine: It's very early in the day for my head to hurt this much. I'm usually not up to this level of pain until 6:00 or 7:00 in teh evening. It's going to be a looooong day.

Hugs and good vibes for all the worthy pixie whines so far.

esperanza said...

congrats, liz! and hugs to everyone else.

Whine: Hubby finally admitting he is depressed. But it took work-angst to get there. Apparently wifely angst didn't do it.

Antiwhine: he's willing to get help and has made an appointment.

Baboo whine: what happened to my champion sleeper?

Baboo antiwhine: she's added several developmental milestones to her collection in the past week or so. Whew.

Sue said...

kathy a. - nice card!

(((KLee))))

liz said...

KLee, I'm so sorry. Especially since WTF is he talking about? Having seen you in person, dearest, I know there ain't no way you're breaking a chair.

I love you, sweetie.

Hugs to everyone

And many many many thanks for the warm support you all are giving me.

kathy a. said...

Hugs to all the pixies! Much material for prizes tomorrow. Keep 'em coming! xoxo

Confessional inquiry -- I did bad by my little kittie Spot today, because of my driving anxiety. I hate driving freeways and bridges, have panic attacks, and so I tend to find other ways to get around. Today, I was confidently on my way to a specialist vet [because Spot's back legs are not working right, and we don't know why], and m@pquest's street directions were wrong, and I ended up lost in the city between here and the specialist, and I gave up and went home. And *now* I know that m@pquest can not only give "avoid highway" directions, but also print little maps of the tricky parts.

But that leaves me still with how strongly I avoid scary driving, and how much it limits what I do and how I do it. Any advice?

And poor little Spotty is never going to trust me again. He hates the vet trips so badly that he didn't fall for the supreme bribe this morning -- beloved and rarely-seen wet food served in the bathroom -- since that is how I trapped him a month ago.

amy said...

@KLee: I am SO PROUD OF YOU for losing two whole sizes the healthy way. That is so, so hard - and that's coming from someone who can work to lose a pant size but can't get past the plateau and lose more. You've done an amazing thing, and I'm sorry the guy hurt your feelings, whatever his intentions.

purple_kangaroo said...

I had a whine written up and lost it. I don't even know how.

Anyway, my therapist basically told me today that there's nothing more that can really be done to make my life more manageable or to help me cope better.

I just have to realize that I'm sick and deal with it. And learn to "let things go". And realize that, yes, I have a hard life, and it's going to be that way. It just is. Because I have incurable chronic health problems. And it often takes normally healthy people months to recover from mono even without the chronic health issues, so I really shouldn't expect to feel better any time soon.

Thanks, I knew that.
(And, no, I don't need a new therapist . . . this one is someone I've been seeing for years, and whom I like . . . she just didn't have anything for me today.)

I don't think there's much more I can let go without compromising the family's health and safety. (I can't exactly just stop feeding the kids or not get out of bed all day, you know?)

Oh, and this morning I way overdid it because DH's idea of getting ready for the cleaners and mine are on different planets. I'd had slightly more energy the last couple of days, and now I've way overdone it and I'll be paying for it for the next few days or week or whatever.

Two steps forward, twelve steps back is the story of my life right now, it seems.

I feel like I'm falling apart physically, mentally, spiritually and emotionally at the moment.
I'm so tired of being told that there's nothing more that can be done.

I don't want this life. Can I get a refund?

purple_kangaroo said...

Forgot to link to the pictures of ready for the cleaner.

Diane said...

So, because some people decided to act like idiots at work administration is now monitoring our e-mail and internet usage.

I applied for a promotion and while I think I have a good shot at getting it, the wait is driving me crazy. Oh, and I found out my arch-nemesis at work also applied. Seriously, if she gets it over me you all will hear my head hitting the desk (amid some choice words as well I'm sure).

My husband just hurt himself. And since I am not nearly as nice to my husband as PK is to her's I immediately gave him no sympathy. He says he pulled a muscle, heard something snap... and all I heard was blah blah blah, whine whine whine. Buddy - I am 5 months pregnant and get no sympathy from you. So just when I start feeling sorry for him and tell him he needs to stay off his feet, put his leg up and ice it - yes, I was getting the ice - he gets up and says he has some work to do on the computer downstairs. Hmmmm, you call it work, I call it a hobby.

And I have now come to terms with the fact I am having a girl. It might have something to do with my doctor laughing at me yesterday when I asked how likely it was that the sonogram tech was wrong.

AW - my 2 1/2 yr old got a new toy from grandmom yesterday. When I asked her how it worked she said, "It has batteries momma." Eventhough she apparently thinks I'm a dumbass and needed that pointed out, it still is the cutest thing ever, right?

purple_kangaroo said...

Diane, my 5yo got a teeny tiny scratch on her leg today and has been milking it for all it's worth. Any time I ask her to do something she doesn't want to do, it hurts so badly she can't walk. She even does the moaning voice with a catch in it.

But she can run on it just fine when her sisters start playing a racing-around-the-house-at-breakneck-speed game.

Then, suddenly, when I ask her to do something, she can't walk on it again.

Maybe your husband is and my 5yo are from the same planet?

purple_kangaroo said...

I'm heading to bed now, so will vote early.

Miranda made me chuckle.

Vote for margalit for her daughter's scummy boyfriend.

And to Klee . . . I've sat on a chair and broken it--more than once--and I'm quite tiny. Low-quality chairs just break easily. Grr for you, though.

Hugs to everyone else, too, and congrats to those who have 'em coming.

Name Under Development said...

Major whine—I didn’t get the job (see whines from last week and April 22). According to the division chair, I was a strong candidate and there isn’t anything she could point to as something I should/should not have done. However, this job straddles 2 subject areas. I am very experienced in one area and much less so in the other—although my graduate work was in an integrated program yielding in both fields. Still, my weak area happens to be the dominant field in the department, as evidenced by the fact that 6 of the 9 members of the committee teach in that area. The winning candidate apparently has significant experience in both subject areas. According to the committee chair, that was the deciding factor. Sh@t.

This sucks. I’ve tried to prepare myself for this job since 2001. I like my current job, but it’s unlikely to ever become full-time in the current political/economic climate. My overall field is simultaneously seen as desperately needed and decidedly not sexy. I once read something describing the experience of working in my field as “working in the ivory basement.” Moreover, I live in the middle of freaking nowhere and my husband makes more than double my pitiful salary. Institutional politics have made it difficult for me to burnish my resume in my weaker area, and marital politics make moonlighting tough, particularly given the limited options d/t our location. Relocation for me to pursue better job prospects would be financial suicide, particularly since DancingGirl has another 3 years to go at Obscenely Expensive University.

Antiwhine—Dancing Girl is home. She will be home with us until August 1, when she leaves for a semester-long study abroad program.

NUD

liz said...

((NUD))
((PK))

liz said...

Kathy A, there are driving schools that work with experienced drivers to refresh skills and build confidence.

amy said...

Gah, I forgot to come back and whine last night. Ah well. It'll keep 'til next week.

@Diane, I'm struggling to come to terms with the fact I'm having a boy. I'm also about 5 months along. Let me know if a trade sounds good to you. ;)

@Kathy A., Sorry about your kitty. Liz said something that gave me an idea, though. Maybe both you and he would feel better if he drove? Did you say his name was Toonces?

Hugs to everyone. There are a lot of substance-y whines this week.