Sue Awards!

Hello pixies and welcome to a very special event. It's the Sue Awards. Yes, in honor of her exceptional performance in two categories this week, I've decided to name the whole awards ceremony in Sue's honor. Also, she's off on vacation on Saturday, and if anyone deserves their own awards ceremony and then a vacation, it is Sue, she of the four funerals in two weeks.

First, of course, Sue dominates the Stylish Whines department, with her ode to The Rain that Never Ends.

Liz nominated Sue for a Mullet award, but frankly she had so many great lines this week that I don't know which one Liz had in mind. A few of my favorites . . .

Wearing socks to keep your feet warm in July is highly unfortunate.
Why are people asking me about tiny church sandwiches and pickles???
I didn't make it past the woefully ugly scarf summit.

Old Skool Awards to esperanza, who drove 15 miles to a fruit stand for produce that tastes just like the grocery store stuff (I've done that, too! I always suspect they are buying it from a distributor and packaging it up to look local) and to amy, who says "When I was five, I never imagined I'd wish for electrolysis."

Maternal Angst Award to kathy a. as her daughter prepares for a year abroad. Bonus Remembering What it's All About (Life Changes Division) Award for the return of the visitor she thought she'd never see again.

4 – 3 – 2 – 1 Award to Elizabeth, whose website is launching on Friday with or without the Communications person on site.

Good Pet Mommy Award to Purple Kangaroo, courtesy of the animal control officer sent by her creepy neighbor.

The cluestick posse is armed with pickles this week and is headed in the direction of Sue's congregation's less helpful helpers.

Love, hugs, and magic pixie dust to esperanza. Sorry to hear that butt-on-couch is no longer a pleasant diversion but once again a necessary precaution.

WAIT, breaking news! The cluestick posse has been diverted in esperanza's direction to deal with a clueless ultrasound tech with terrible bed-side manner. She thinks you need to worry for 24 hours longer? What the?!?

Thank you to amy, for introducing us all to the source of the funniest t-shirt ever.

And thank you all for playing along with the comic book character meme! Next week, the delightful Liz will be our shoulder to whine on.

WW: Comic Edition

It's finally summer here! After so much rain we've got mushrooms on the lawn, it is sunny for the second day in a row. 60% chance of meatballs. This change in the weather is good news, because it was getting pretty tiresome whining about the wet, cool summer. Now we can whine that we are too! hot! In fact as soon as I post this I need to close all the windows and turn on the AC for only the third time this summer.

My whiniest current whine is this:

Saturday night, as we ate dinner, Snuggly Girl noticed the reflection of my profile in the dining room window and delivered this line that is still making me sad: "Hey, Mama, you look like Jughead!"

On cross-examination, she allowed that my nose is smaller. Why thank you, dear.

Which cartoon character do you most resemble, pixies?

Awards!

The Phoenix Rising Award goes to Sue, who enjoyed her 50th birthday with family, and celebrated another decade with a new tattoo. (See photo; she explains that the phoenix is facing an appendectomy scar, rather than some other anatomical feature.) Yay, Sue!


KLee wins the Home Improvement Goddess Award, for conquering the 1950's linoleum! We are hoping to see before and after photos, as several pixies have personal linoleum memories.


Elevated Risk of Mullet Award to Esperanza, for her delicate description of exactly what kind of rest the OB recommends. We agree with Madeleine, that the visiting hordes of family don't need that much detail, and prescribe couch rest and letting them deal with what needs doing.

Old Skool Award to Sarah at ratatat, who complains: "I am off to the dentist tomorrow. And I know I didn't floss often enough." Runner up is JenR, with: "Every day this week, I have been convinced it was Wednesday or Thursday, only to discover that I was wrong and my work week was not almost over. Ugh."

Madeleine takes home the Style Award, and bonus aloe vera, with:

Q: If you go to the beach on Tuesday, how will you be sure on Wednesday that
your sunscreen worked exceptionally well? A: By the oddly shaped red,
burned patches on your inner calves, of course. Because you always miss a spot
somewhere, generally bilaterally symmetrically. Q: How can you tell it is
sure to rain for the next few days? A: We made camping reservations.

Condolences to Liz, who lost her favorite teacher and an amazing author, and to JenR, whose dad lost a close friend after a long battle with ALS.

Six Feet Under Award to Sue, who is about to perform her fourth funeral in two weeks, with another possible incoming next week.

Fine Line Award to Sarah at ratatat, for family stuff. As Amy says, "any time you can't tell where the whine ends and the anti-whine begins, you need an award. or pie. or cake. or an award, pie, *and* cake."

Remembering What It's All About Award to Amy, who is abstaining from pain meds for her foot because she is pumping for donations to the milk bank.

Crazy Week Award to Elizabeth, who laments: "I've been feeling like hell by the time I get home each day. Not sure if it's just fatigue or if I'm coming down with something."

OMG! Vegetables! Award to JenR, whose husband reached the breaking point over broccoli and garlic from the neighbor. Thanks to the Gourmet Pixies who offered cooking suggestions.

Big Girl Award to Esperanza's Sweet Baboo, who abandoned the bottle for a straw after some good peer pressure from cousins. Growth Spurt Award to Madeleine's Snuggly Girl, who sprouted mightily. Good Son Award to Sue's boy out west, who flew home to surprise the parents!




Host note: do not try this at home. It is bad karma, and does not effectively remove the cat from the desk.





See you next week, when the incomparable Madeleine will host!

Revenge of the Stickie-notes

I knew something bad would happen when I tried decorating the senior cat last week, in a fruitless effort to persuade her that there are better places to bathe than my desk. And it did.

Exhibit A: Woke up with one eye glued shut, snuffles, malaise, body aches, and the attractive nose zits I get when feverish.

Exhibit B: Second cat had a little poop accident right there on my sheets, while purring of his eternal devotion.

Today I devoted most remaining brain cells to losing mah jong on the internet. On the up side, my beloved says he brought me soup. Hopefully, there will be a miraculous recovery to report.

What's happening in your world?

Awards!!! Tour de Gelato Edition

I'm sorry this is so tardy, folks. I've had a feverish kid wallpapered to me.

First and foremost, happy birthday Sue! May your fiftieth year be a sweet one. And may I congratulate you on your bravery in getting another tattoo to commemorate the occasion? And, while I'm at it, here is your gold medal for the funeral triathalon (ht Kathy A)

Sarah at Ratatat wins the Style award for "my allergies are draining the life out of me. And like a bad horror movie, I am afraid it is coming from inside the house."

Kathy A. wins the office-space frontierswoman (ht amy) award for "i'm losing the battle of desk territory with senior cat. a couple days ago, i was gaining ground when i discovered she doesn't like post-its stuck to her. but she has conquered that obstruction to her divine right to sit on my work. also, my office floor looks like the aftermath of a confetti convention."

Sue wins Elevated Risk of Mullet for "Our yoga instructor is expecting also and she keeps leaving us in impossible poses for a VERY long time while she delicately exits to do Teh Puke."

Esperanza wins the Old Skool award for her baboo's whine "An Old Skool whine on behalf of the Baboo: I inherited my da-da's butt. It is flat. These cute capris are sliding off my butt and taking my diaper with them." My coffee met my keyboard, I must admit.
Madeleine gets a Mystery of the Week award for her Case of the Vanishing Dufflebag. I'm guessing it went home with someone else.

Elizabeth wins the No Vacations From Presentations award. Seven within three weeks! Yipes!

Name Under Development wins the I Was Promised Moving Fairies award. I do hope that they arrive quickly.

The Cluestick Posse is being sent out to whale on amy's mom. I'm just gonna say that I saw red when I saw what she wrote to amy, and when I see red, the cluestick comes out swinging. Amy, MM also had an accident (or three) while watching PTwBitBBH. And can I recommend spinach noodles with pesto sauce mixed with Gerber creamed spinach for Tater's gustatory enjoyment?

Madeleine wins the Remembering What It's All About award, for the squashage.

KLee slid in under the wire to win the Bringing The Bodily Fluids award. I'm so sorry about your migraines, I truly hope you feel better, and that these particular priceless memories will fade.

Sue, I think a Finding Nemo sermon would be fun to listen to. Perhaps this year, you can use Up instead?

And that's all I have today, folks. Tune in next week when your host will be Kathy A!

It's another fireplacing beautiful day, darn it!

Can you tell I'm in a windowless cubicle? Sitting in front of 4 computer screens? When I'd rather be out RINGING THE FIREPLACING DOORBELLS!

Sheesh.

On the up side, I've got two packs to do after work today. Total about 80 doors. I'm going to enjoy myself, yes indeedy.

What's up with you?

Glitter Gluestick Edition

It's been an action-packed week at Pixie Central!

JenR wins the Kids of Sibs Birthday Dilemma Award for her inquiry:

I have 6 nieces and nephews, and one child of my own. The parents of three of those nieces/nephews completely ignored my son's (1st!) birthday this year .... this isn't out of character for them, because I know they rarely, if ever, remember the birthdays of the other three kids. I'm sick of buying them and their children birthday gifts and not getting a thank you - and having my own birthday ignored as well.

Liz led the Glitter Gluestick Posse in response [thanks, Amy, for the name!], in which Pixies proposed that neices and nephews be gifted with: GLITTER! LOTS AND LOTS OF GLITTER!; toy drums; Drums, tamborines, maracas, glitter, and CONFETTI!; the biggest tub of Play-Doh; moon sand; Operation and/or Perfection and/or Taboo!

KLee wins the coveted Elevated Risk of Mullet Award for "All I can say is thank God phones are cordless these days, because I'm tempted to strangle either her or myself." Runner up is Sue, who states: "I vacuumed. I will do no more. Anyone who doesn't like my bathroom mirror can clean it themselves."

The Old Skool Award goes to Elizabeth, whose wonderful friend cared for the cats and held down the fort during her vacation, but also lost the gas cap on her car, effectively stranding her until a replacement can be found.

Baby Bottle Blues Award to Esperanza, who wants Sweet Baboo off the bottle pronto, but Baboo has other plans.

Liz brings the Bodily Fluids this week, in the form of her son's offering all over the back of the car. Peee-Ewww. Runner up is Amy, who received a visit from Aunt Flo for the first time since the baby. Bleah.

Madeleine wins the Cranberry Juice Addict Award, for overcoming the dreaded UTI.

Happy Birthday to Sue and her beloved, both celebrating the big five-oh! Our gift is a month's worth of virtual vacuuming, which gets you off the hook for cleaning up for the celebratory crowds.

Sibling Angst Award to Sarah at ratatat, for surviving a family weekend only to be faced with, "are we invited to XYZ?" Sarah also wins the Separation Anxiety Award, for soothing her daughter's meltdown at the summer enrichment class -- glad she is feeling better!

The Strange Sighting Award goes to Name Under Development, who spotted a decidedly non-glam family boarding a fireplacing limosine outside a Cracker Barrel, of all places.

Congratulations to Liz, for more superior canvassing and the No Cavity report; to Esperanza for no more VSB episodes, and the perfection of Mini-Baboo; to Amy, for fun times with an old friend; to Madeleine, for decluttering; and to Elizabeth, who enjoyed a nice vacation.

Condolences to all Pixies suffering this week from: queasiness; doctors bolting out the door; upcoming funerals; the horror of asking children to put a dish in the sink, or other outrageous abuses; husbands too buried to spend no-kid time wisely; overwork; crabbiness; involuntary celebration happy faces; basement and/or garage cleaning; challenging classes; potential orthodontia; long drives; and tiredness.

See you next week, when our host will be Ms. Doorbell-Ringing Superstar herself, Liz!