Awards!

Mixed Emotions Award to esperanza, who isn't sure if she's sad or glad to be on the sidelines during this normally busy time of year for a religious professional. Mini Baboo says "Thank you for staying on the couch, Mama!"

A+ Award to Jeni who is DONE with her boards! Yahoo! We hope your headcold/earache has evaporated by now.

Whines of the Season Award (Old Skool Division) to Days for "writing, marking, shopping, baking, packing, get-togethering." This category will be open all month.

Whines of the Season Award (Bodily Fluids Division) to Amy for the holiday sweaters/family photo/barf attack trifecta. We hope not to be giving further awards in this category, but who am I kidding? Open all month.

Household Fluids Award to Elizabeth for a leak!!! In the Living Room Ceiling!!! Please tell us this isn't rapidly becoming a giant nightmare.

Old Skool Award (Whine division) goes to Amy, whose bathroom clock aspires to be a kitchen clock. What can we say? The clock wants what it wants.

Old Skool Award (Anti-whine division) to Sue for "my office is warm today." Sadly, I too have had several offices where that is a notable event.

Automotive Awkwardness Awards to Elizabeth for a flat tire at 5:35 am (dear me) and to JenR with the temperamental starter. May both of yourses luck improve pronto. (I am aware that the plural possessive of your is probably your, but it just wasn't working for me.)

Elevated Risk of Mullet Award to esperanza, without doubt, for this fantastic advice: "JenR, if your keys are related to Amy's clock, maybe you should just take the car to the kitchen and they will work."

Whine of Style Award to kathy a., for wit in the face of adversity and an excellent Captain's Log entry.

A Day Late and a Whine Short Award to Emily, who's whine didn't show up on time.

And finally, Liz for the win, hands down, for Most Exciting Morning: "Woke up at 0600 to the melifluous sounds of 9 Federal Marshals knocking on the door of the house right next to us, shouting 'Hands up! Police!'" Nothing compares to that.

Stay healthy, pixies. I hope your December keeps ticking along nicely, but if not I'm looking forward to hearing about it next week!

December's gotta be better, right?

Well. I've now been sick for four weeks straight. And yes, that does make me whiny. We had a much warmer than usual November, which was helpful on those days when I did leave the house, but there was a long stretch in the middle there where it hardly mattered because we were curled up on the couch fighting for the snuggly comforter. I guess it would have been more miserable running out to the doctor's office if it was cold.

But! Moving on! December holds its own delights and is off to an excellent (whiny) start. SG's bus driver, a sweet, reliable, friendly, RELIABLE driver, has moved to a more coveted route. Today was our first day with a temp driver who was 25 minutes late, apparently because no one told her to avoid a patch of terrible construction traffic. If you think I felt whiny, as I stood breakfast-and-tea-less at the bus stop, you would not believe the whines from SG, who doesn't like to be late to school. She was a non-stop whine factory until I pointed out (about 20 minutes in) my breakfastlessness. Then she reduced her whine level slightly. Slightly.

In anti-whines, we were able to shelter in the foyer of the school where we wait for the bus so we kept warm. I got home in time to eat something before my 9 am meeting. And I didn't just miss my cleaning person (who I feared was going to wait a bit and then drive away) because she was home sick. That isn't really an anti-whine, since we canceled her last visit when we were all sick, so the dust bunnies and grime are building up. But, hey, other than the guilt at not actually wanting to do any cleaning myself, we'll survive. Also, in anti-whines, the sore throat I had last night and this morning seems to have eased. Or is that just the ibuprofen? (The possible whine there being that it may be a side effect of the steroid inhaler for my poor sad lungs and I'm not sure what to do if it is. Except maybe haul myself back to the doctor. Again.)

My upcoming Solstice Holiday woes are minimal because we have only SG and her grandma to shop for, and I've got one gift already and am knitting another. But some of you may be staring down an impossibly long list of impossible to find items, with value exceeding your budget, or trying to bake 500 cookies, or something fun like that. Do share!

No prizes this week. No time. Sorry

Thank you for coming! Sorry I was a poor hostess! Feel free to give awards yourselves in the comments!

Thanksgiving makes a really good word to use in Hangman

Very few vowels, and a bunch of uncommonly used consonants. If you're playing Hangman in the Spring, you'll definitely win the round. Not so much in November.

We're going to be driving 6 hours up to my mom's house tomorrow. Then Saturday, we're driving down to NYC. Then Sunday, we'll be driving back here. I may or may not be on-line for most of that. Please leave your whines here. Whining will be open through at least Saturday, given the high whine content of most T'giving get-togethers.

Edited to add, I'm sorry that this is a United States-centric post. All non-T'giving and International whines also accepted.

A Breathtaking Post of Folly and Triumph

Let's begin with a triumph: Congratulations to Esperanza, who is currently more pregnant than she has ever been! Passing the chocolate cake, and plenty of Stay Put, Mini-Baboo wishes. Gravy Days from here on out! (hat tip to Amy, for the gravy.)

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Our own KLee wins the Booyah! Award for acing her final! Happy dancing and confetti all around. Or as Liz says, "PARTY WITH THE SMARTY!"

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Sue wins the Meeting Scheduling Death-Stare Showdown Award, for successfully drawing the line at the dreaded endless breakfast meeting of doom being held on her one and only day off. Way to go, Sue! Also, the Pixies agree that Sue's workouts have resulted in muscle gain, so those breakfast people had better not mess with her.

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On to the follies. Emily wins the Old Skool Award for her report on people who pick the walnuts off the top of the bran muffins. Sounds like an inside job to us, and if this happened at our houses, we would know exactly which miscreant(s) to suspect. Runners up are Liz, who spilled coffee on her tissue box, and Sue, whose cat barfed in the laundry.

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Parliamentary Procedure, My Aunt Fanny Award to Liz, for her dramatic and entertaining report on a meeting that sank into a morass, with certain persons showing their ugly sides and Robert's Rules of Order preventing salvage operations. And the best part, after all the mayhem? Oh, nevermind, no quorum. Says Madeleine, "ha ha ha ha ha, no quorum, ha ha ha. You're killin' me here, liz."

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Neighbor Lady richly deserves the Elevated Risk of Mullet Award for her priceless response to Liz's report: "Who is this Robert, anyway? And who said he could be in charge???!" Sue diagnoses Robert as a schoolyard bully, and who are we to argue?

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There was a small misunderstanding about the suggestion of duct tape. It is not recommended for baby-stay-put, or for direct snot removal, but might help with a snot-sucking bulb that has developed a hole. In any event, Esperanza wins a virtual fresh new snot bulb that works, for her Whine of the Bulb, and soothing seatage for her Whine of the Butt hurting after 4 hours of schlepping around to various medical appointments. And all this on top of losing her internet for days! And ear infections -- two for the Sweet Baboo, one for each ear!

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Bad! Pizza! Award to Neighbor Lady, who took a risk on the lactose intolerance, but teh pizza was so not worth it. Maybe the soy cheese suggested by PK will work? But on a better pizza!!

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Fire Hydrant Crisis Award to KLee, whose daughter's school bus hit one. Oy oy oy. Plus migraine, enough to make anyone want to stop the week and let them get off.

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Taxi, Please Award to Madeleine, who made it safely away from the virusy, feverish situation at home, but is stuck in a hotel away from both the conference and room service. Hope there is takeout and something decent on cable, anyway.

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Amy wins the Voice of Reason Award, for dealing with mamas in the play group who think they can and will control all giftage from relatives and friends for ever. Ha ha ha ha!

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The Cluestick Posse is saddling up this week for the people tormenting Purple Kangaroo with their extensive "friendly advice" about caring for a child with difficulties about which they know nothing. No, dudes, this isn't a problem you can solve by blaming the parents. PK's gracious refusals to respond in kind earn her a Purple Heart of Parenting Award.

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Condolences, as always, to those who are under the weather, those with family who are sick, those who are sick of the weather and/or the season, those with homework woes, and those with other woes of any kind.

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See you next week, when the fabulous Liz will host the Thanksgiving Edition!

Not Going To Take It Any More

Hi! Today is my beloved's birthday. We'll have a nice dinner with our son later, but have started the day with the scent of fraud on the telephone bill.

Some company (Tr@ns@act!0n Cle@r!ng) has charged us $13.99/month on the last couple of phone bills for bogus services that we never authorized. Quelle surprise, the number for billing inquiries cut me off, twice. Dr. Google says there are a number of complaints about this company's fraudulent practices, and that it is associated with another company that ponied up a large fine recently for similar deeds. So, I've filed a complaint with the FTC; plan some choice words with the phone company (AllToodle&Tweedle) allowing these jackasses to bill me; and I'll get in touch with the state department of consumer affairs. Maybe the consumer fraud unit of the state AG's office, too.

We aren't so special; this outfit could easily be scamming thousands or millions of others. (There is actually a word for sticking unauthorized charges in teh phone bill: "cramming." But I prefer "fraud.") Cluesticking is totally inadequate to the circumstances, especially when every one of us has worries about financial matters, personal and large-scale.

Edited to add: Fraudulent Cle@r!ng was billing on behalf of a company called R0cketC0mm, which itself has been accused of similar scams using other billing services to invade your phone bill. So far, my experience with phone menu heck and terminal hold at AllTwoodles is unsatisfying.

Hope the ailing Pixies are feeling better this week! What are your whines and anti-whines?

Awards: Just Not Happening Edition

Hey, pixies. I think you will understand when I say that I just won't be able to write an awards ceremony this week. I'm breathing a lot better today, but I still feel weak and get winded if I do too much. Any energy I've got needs to go into prepping for a work trip I might or might not take next week. (Even if I decide not to go, I need to prepare materials for a colleague who will play my role. His family is only 50% sick, and he isn't in the sick half, so it seems likely he can make it.)

I hear overall travel numbers are down lately and I don't doubt it. This wide-spread flu is for real.

I know several of the pixies manage chronic illness without much reprieve. I salute you!