Tuesday, February 14, 2012

Whines of a Manufactured Holiday Devoted to Infatuation Nature

Pixies, I get frothy when I think of Valentines Day. I suspect it is because I have never been in a happy relationship when the day rolls around, nor am I likely to ever be in that kind of relationship. Even fake dating around this time of the year is tricky. With no established relationship, a gift would be unnecessary. But what if the other person does do something? One year, I did receive a romantic gesture. Unfortunately, it was not from a romantic partner but it was the perfect romantic gift.

Instead, I am going to post links to things that do not pertain to traditional "romantic" gifts or infatuation on the face thingie tomorrow. Assuming,I get much time since I have been summoned to the office (hysterectomy-related sick leave be blasted) and my similarly cranky, now 14 year old, daughter who also eschews dating and cliched romantic gestures (where do these kids come from???), wants me to make a proper dinner tomorrow night.

So, what are you doing? Who needs cluesticking? Sleep fairies? Cleaning elves? Share in the comments.


Sue said...

Miranda, I appreciate your distaste for manufactured, card-store holidays like Valentines day. As if I need a reason to eat sugar! Flowers? Nah. Hubby was a funeral director for 20 years before his disability forced retirement.

Trust me, getting flowers from a funeral director is not romantic. Sure, the families often leave arrangements behind at the funeral home, but still, back in the day he would sometimes forget to remove the card that said "sorry about uncle joe". Ya. His heart was in the right place, but still...

That's when I learned to despise carnations - the flowers that say, "I'm cheap and I don't really care much."

WHINE: It is 5:00 am, I haven't had any sleep yet. I saw the doc today and we're going to adjust my depression meds ever-so-slightly, but the doc wants to research the best way to do this (we really just want to get me healthy enough to make it through to sabbatical time, when I think things will find their perspective again and the coping problem won't be so hard).

In the meantime, since I'm not sleeping, he prescribed a sleep-aid. Not the "drive your car to the store while sound asleep" kind, but another one.





Grrrrr.........will call him tomorrow at supper time when I wake up. I've already emailed my secretary that if I ever manage to fall asleep, it won't be at my desk. She knows where to find me in emergencies.

Meanwhile, where are those fireplacing sleep fairies????????

kathy a. said...

cluesticks to miranda's office. what is it they do not understand about "recovering from major surgery?"

sue, hope you get some major nappage in today, and that tonight is better.

sue should win some kind of prize for re-gifted flowers! too funny.

i don't really understand this holiday. but don't forget -- tomorrow is cheap candy day!! (an office candy jar truly does make friends and inspire devotion.)

argh, i'm still doing first drafts of the giant project, but may finish that part today! (then there is a large stack of suggested revisions; it is really nice to have a second set of eyes.)

diva cat has been busy peeing on bathmats, mats by the litter box, and in an empty box. and i'm just grateful that if she is going to act out, she is doing so on things that are washable or expendable.

esperanza said...

I am a Valentine's Day Grinch.

Or is it that I'm just a grinch, and it just happens to be Valentine's Day.

Having a hard time coping like a grown up with the usual things. Not sure what's going on.

I did sleep (sorry, Sue), I have not received funeral flowers (though I do get tired of funeral food leftovers), we have abundant chocolate available, and I had some good introvert time yesterday. Coping skillz, I needs ya.

Sue said...

kathy a - way to look for the silver lining in the cloud of kat pee.

esperanza - I don't mind that you got some sleep. At least someone did! As for funeral food - bring on those triangle egg salad sandwiches! Or......not so much. I don't eat bread anymore, so I get to avoid the egg salad, tuna salad, salmon salad hell that is a funeral lunch. I've already insisted that my family provide a better lunch when I die.

Glad you had some good introvert time too.

Funny you should mention that - I was thinking about the years when my boys were toddlers. They were well behaved and adorable, though like all babies, they had their moments. And yet a lot of the time, I was miserable.

Everyone around me commented on how polite and delightful they were - and they were right! But I was very happy to hand off the adorableness to hubby when he got home from work.

I had no idea at the time, but what I was missing in my life was the alone-time that my introverted self needed like I need air to breathe.

Remembering that made me feel like I wasn't such a bad parent after all. I just didn't know what I needed or how to convey that to anyone. Ah, if I knew then what I know now.

The boyz turned out pretty well anyway.

Liz Miller said...

I posted my whines on my blogs, actually.

On the personal front, my son seems to have forgotten how to wash his hair.

On the REALLY?? REALLY??? front, Virginia is a terrific state to live in if you are a woman of child-bearing age.

kathy a. said...

liz is full of righteous fire.

esperanza said...

Neither Baboo stopped talking all day long today. Seriously. Remind me that I used to yearn for Sweet to talk. Hence the introvert overload.

W: My new socks are causing my old, broken-in shoes to give me blisters

AW: but they are very cushy, comfy socks.

Sarah at ratatat said...

Oh Sue - I hope the sleeping fairies have visited. And left blissful slumber in their wake. And I hope things get more under control - it all sounds so hard. Counting the hours until Sabbatical.

Miranda - VD (which makes me giggle like a 15yo boy in the 40s) is entirely overblown. And keep trying to keep the medical leave as a non-working time.

Esperanza - I can hear you on the non-stop children talking. The best day ever is when they learn to read silently.

Liz - fighting the good fight!

Whine/Anti-whine: I have a graceful Out for Valentine's Day - my son was born on this day 8 years ago. So I can reject the Hallmark of it all! yay! And this year, with all of the divorce talk...I tried to find a card that might express mild affection and hope for friendship, and let me say, that card does not exist.

kathy a. said...

happy birthday to sarah's boy!

i don't believe the right card exists, period. they're all designed for the OMG I'M IN LURVE crowd, with glitter and/or long loopy sentiments. so i got my beloved a seed catalog and wine, and my daughter chocolate and a book, and called it a day. (and my beloved -- does he know me, or what? -- brought me THIN MINTS that some inspired girl scouts were selling by the train station!)

Sue said...


Go Liz!

Late Anti-Valentine wishes to all Pixies everywhere.

AW: Watching the Westminster Kennel Club dog show. Cracks. Me. Up. I really needed a laugh tonight. Thanks goofy dogs and handlers with sensible shoes.

kathy a. said...

little W: my fingernail is tearing, across the nailbed. ouchie.

Anonymous said...

whine: my hands are so chapped I am getting those little cracks or fissures that hurt so very much
--Neighbor Lady

kathy a. said...

NL -- ouch!

Anonymous said...

Kathy a--ouch for yours too!!!!!

Sue said...

Double-trouble ouchies for all nail, hang-nail and dry hand hurts. 'tis the season I suppose. Still....ick.

AW: Our wonderful book-keeper who works a mere four hours a week spent one of them in my office today being my minister. Best. Listener. Ever. She rocks the cat box consistently. We definitely don't pay her enough. Love her lots.....

kathy a. said...

isn't it great when someone can listen?

Sarah at ratatat said...

Sue - that is a terrific anti-whine!

And so sorry to hear of the chapped Pixies. At least you know you wash your hands enough? You could join my 3 year old in her nightly ritual of putting lotion everywhere. She is no longer dry skinned...

Whine: my husband is out of town with a mutual friend. The trip involves 4 nights in a hotel. And the food and beer that traveling requires. It would be easier accept if he wouldn't keep harping on the $200 I spent on a lawyer consultation as wasting money we don't have. And we are short of money, so I can't quite take a trip of my own, even if I want to. I guess my whine is I hate being a grown-up.

Miranda said...

Awards will be late this week. I planned on two days in the office but events were such that I am working part time from my office the rest of the week. That is a giant whine.

AW: Anthony Bourdain show on Friday!!! And drinks and dinner!!! With adults!!!

W: Daughter was sexually harassed/ threatened by a boy today. The administration takes creating a safe learning environment for all students. One of her guy friends witnessed the incident and stood up for her (this kid needs an award) by telling the other kid to knock it off and that it was not at all cool. Daughter's principal and assistant principal are very caring and capable school administrators. We are very lucky although it would be best if the incident didn't happen at all. Daughter is so shaken up and has been crying/raging at the world for most of the night.

AW: I'm proud she won't accept "boys will be boys" type shenanigans. I was not nearly that brave when I was 14. And I never trusted adults the way she does.

Sue said...

Oh Miranda, I'm so sorry for your daughter and for you as you deal with such a horrific incident. Your daughter is so brave! You're right, it would be better had it not happened at all, but that is one strong young woman to stand up for herself as she did.

kathy a. said...

miranda -- how awful for your daughter -- but really good her friend stood up for her, and that her school has a great administration!

sarah -- oh, man. really, he gets 4 nights away at a hotel, and you get ragged for getting legal advice? cluesticks are needed, definitely.

i just got an order jamming me on time in an impossible way. am applying wine to the wound, along with backup plans. oh, and i finished the first drafts! go. me.

Sue said...

Definitely clue-stick time Sarah - I'm at the ready.

kathy a - yay for first drafts! yay for wine as wound treatment. Hey, whatever works, right?

AW: Hubby's new wheelchair arrived this morning!!!! It is quite awesome and does everything but the cooking of eggs. Most importantly, it will make his life much simpler and give him even more independence.

W: My dad called last night to ask me to dinner at their place on Tuesday. I am such a coward. I wanted to give him a flat out NO - because hubby cannot get into their house and I really, really dislike leaving hubby at home for these things.

But Dad was so sweet and asked how things were going etc.... I gave him a "maybe" and said I would let him know over the weekend. I explained that Tuesday is the ONLY night next week that I'm able to be at home (which is entirely true) and I don't like to leave hubby alone for so many nights in a row.

Still - colour me coward. I should have just said "Sorry, not this time" and had it finished. Rats.

Liz said...

Sue, say "thank you, dad. Can you get take-out and bring it here Tuesday so that my husband can eat with us? And we can show off his snazzy new wheels!"

esperanza said...

Sarah, it's not such a drag being a grown up if you're not the only one doing so. Harumph.

Miranda, so sorry about working while on sick leave, and very sorry that your daughter had such a bad experience. Thankful along with you that it is being addressed.

Yay for snazzy new wheels!

kathy a. said...

yeah. it's not much of a friendly invitation if they know your husband can't come, too. would they ask one of your sisters to dinner and specify that her husband is not welcome?

your beloved has to deal every day with accessibility issues -- and there are unfortunately many places he cannot go, such as to your church. it is the least family can do to find ways to include him.

Sue said...

Exactly kathy. Of all the people who should understand, it should be my family. I love Liz' answer, but I'm not sure I could pull it off.

I'll call tomorrow and say "thanks but not this time". I'll try to refrain from saying "Or, like, Ever!"

AW: hubby's smile. No matter what my serotonin levels try to tell my brain, his smile is better than any drug ever made. His smile and his laugh should be patented. Maybe then I could quit the church-with-no-elevator.....:)

kathy a. said...

fixing up the big project took way less time than expected. i worked about 15 hours yesterday, and it is mostly done!!

Liz Miller said...

AW: In less than half-an-hour I will leave the house to pick MM up from school to drive us both into DC to get on a train to NYC to take a cab into B'klyn to stay overnight to wake up very early tomorrow to drive to the airport with my sister, her husband, and their two kids to get on a plane to Puerto Rico to stay for a week.

W: ....
Nope, can't think of one.

esperanza said...

eeeeee! Liz! I want to go! Buen viaje!

AW: brother called last night to say SiL is pregnant. 7 weeks. They have had two miscarriages, one at 14 weeks and one at just a few days. So we're cautiously optimistic. The clueless guy says, "well, we're not talking about it in front of [3 yr old], so I don't really think about it much." I have a feeling SiL *is* thinking about it, like all the time. Clueless man.

Sue said...

Oh esperanza, I hope all is well with SIL....

Liz..... Have a great time!!!!

W: another night of no sleep. What the heck? Also, it is week 4 since my treatment, therefore my head must let me know. Not bad - only 5/10 - but still...

AW : massage today. Yes, I fell asleep on the table. Of course I did.

kathy a. said...

LIZ! have a great time!

thinking good baby thoughts, esperanza.

aw, sue -- good massage. yay.

i'm off at the big fat conference for my work, and it is happy time! i hardly ever get to see people, working at home -- and there are a LOT of colleagues i'm fond of here. and, i'll learn things i need. and, we will actually get stuff done on certain projects here. and -- there is this cause related to the work that i'm involved in, and this is the choir to which one wishes to preach. so to speak.

plus, dinner with my fabulous aunt tomorrow. lots of AW's.

kathy a. said...

W: the cheap hotel wifi goes out approximately every 10 minutes. AW: cheap but decent hotel otherwise.

i am so committed to this cause that i'm working the table at 7:30 a.m. there is a peet's coffee between here and there.

Sarah at ratatat said...

Liz - wow! Have fun!

Esperanza - men are clueless. Thinking of your SiL.

Sue - sorry for no sleep but a massage is great.

KathyA - enjoy the conference and social time!

Whine: Aunt Flo is coming soon and shockingly, it makes me grumpy. Long day with the kids. My oldest has an ear infection again (she can't feel it, but she can't hear us. The doctor kept asking her, are you sure it doesn't hurt? It looks terrible.). Some unbloggable badness and trying to be strong and make good decisions and feeling very relative - how can right make me so unhappy?