Thursday, August 28, 2008

Still raining.

Welcome to the "Still Raining" edition of awards.

This week the Elevated Risk of Mullet Award goes to kathy a. for her description of the newly shorn “uglee” nature area behind her house.

Our Old Skool award belongs to The History Enthusiast, who had to define the words “Agriculture” and “Lecture” in a college lecture.

This week the Pixie Cluestick Brigade will be marching on KLee’s complaining coworkers and suspect “friends;” micro-managing bosses; Sarah at ratatat’s brother and his wife, and the people who sent Miranda her travel card but will not help her get paid.

Esperanza wins (can we say "wins" and "plugged ducts" in the same sentence?) the Bodily Fluids Award for having to “suck snot multiple times per hour” AND cope with plugged ducts.

Much pixie joy and gentle hugs to Sue, whose latest treatment banished Teh Headache. Sue, we are so happy for you and join you in hoping this lasts forever!

Elizabeth gets the Whine of Substance Award for: “Whine: Terrified for the future of our country.” Me too, Elizabeth.

And finally, JenR gets the Pixie Prompt Trophy of the week, for inspiring us all to list the ways to drain a medical spending account. They really should cover tattoo removal, dontcha think?

As for me, it’s still raining and plane tickets home are running $1200 bucks, so I see plenty of whining in my future. See you next week, when Elizabeth will be hosting the party.

Tuesday, August 26, 2008

It's raining, it's pouring...

Hello, Whiners!

I am back in SouthernState, where the semester started yesterday, and I am feeling whiny (I am also feeling a little ashamed of the whininess, so trying to remember the Anti-Whines too):

W: It's raining!
(AW: but at least it is not a zillion degrees).

W: Classes started up again on Monday.
(AW: but I am not teaching or taking classes this time around).

W: This is my tenth (1oth!) year in a row as a full-time college student, and it's getting more than a little old....
(AW: but, this should be my last year).

W: And, sadly, all my best friends, family members, and the boyfriend are at least four states away!
(There is no sufficient anti-whine for this).

I hope the beginning of school is either going well or not on your radar, that your weather is behaving, and that all is well. But, sometimes reality wins, which is why we are here. Let the whining begin!

Thursday, August 21, 2008


Hot on the heels of her Old Skool Award last week, Amy wins a coveted Elevated Risk of Mullet Award for her followup whine: receiving no commitment from Le Spouse on the condiment issue, she put the stuff away. Ten minutes later, he yells from the kitchen, "I can't find the stuff I'm supposed to put away!"

Honorable Mention in the Mullet department to Klee, who laments that "Some weeks, it doesn't pay to gnaw through the straps at the home." Klee also wins the Old Skool Award this week, for returning from a fabulous vacation with the bonus of a small pocketful of money left, only to have the microwave die a sudden death.

Style Award to Madeleine, for inventing the term "familio-blogular" to describe that particular pain arising from pressure to read a family blog, when reading said blog confirms the beauty of not having to hear that relative’s voice every day.

With thanks to PK for her nomination, the Most Concise Whine/Antiwhine Award goes to Liz. Hope MM is feeling better, and hooray for the bloggy lunch date!

The Password Challenge Award to Miranda, who spent her second day at the new job shuffling around begging for help, and complained: "Who the fireplace came up with the idea that we should have thirty different passwords with different rules that also can't all be the same?" To which all the Pixies say, "Amen, sister!"

Tech Solutions Award to Amy, who notes that most people ensure the security of their 30 different passwords by pasting sticky-notes all over the monitor. Thanks to all the Pixies offering sympathy and suggestions on this burning issue, including JenR, Amy, and Margalit.

ATM Achievement Awards to Sarah’s husband, the tech guy who can never remember his pin, and Amy, who remembered the pin but was trying it on a credit card.

Hand Over That Remote, the Olympics Are On Award to Elizabeth, who is at least consoled by the cute little foster baby kittens.

New! Pet! Awards to Margalit, who has a new kitty, and Purple Kangaroo, who is getting ready for a new dog. Yay!

Many hugs to Purple Kangaroo, who has been having pain and fatigue flare-ups, and worries about her kids.

Congratulations to Margalit, for a double-header victory: school problems worked out, and a new job! Crossing fingers that things get worked out with the landlady.

Miracle of Life Awards to Sarah, who is sort of tired of being pregnant (but whose baby moves all the time!); Amy, who has "placenta brain" as well as stretch marks and the diet of mental doom; and JenR, who is missing her baby, and stuck with the job for now since they gave her maternity benefits.

Thanks to everyone for playing this week! See you next week, when the Whiner's Ball will be hosted by Redzils!

Tuesday, August 19, 2008

Keeping an Eye Out for Airborne Porcines

Seen any? We could all use some good news along about now.

Husband's gone all week. Son is still looking for a new job, and he bailed on an auntie's offer to take him shopping Sunday. I stupidly engaged after my difficult sister sent a "joke" email. And when, oh when, will I get my work mojo back?

In antiwhines, days of clouds broke into a glorious blue-sky afternoon yesterday, and more expected! Not too hot, not too cold, just right.

What's new with you?

ETA: It is a slow Wednesday, so here is a bonus movie review. Go rent The Great Debaters by Denzel Washington. It is a spirit-restoring antiwhine, based on real facts. If you do not get all smushy and/or inspired during parts of this film, go directly to the ER, because your heart has turned to stone.

Thursday, August 14, 2008


This ceremony brought to you by Tums dipped in Nutella, a creative parenting solution used by Madeleine before Snuggly Girl’s recent graduation to pills.

Old Skool Award to Amy, whose beloved just cannot manage the hard, hard task of putting condiments and cheese away. No, my friend, that’s not just the pregnancy hormones kvetching.

Elevated Risk of Mullet Award to Liz for suggesting the solution to Amy’s problem: Any condiments (or expensive cheese) left out that he should have put away, he has to use instead of shampoo. That way they won't go to waste."

Dr. Mengele Award to Sue’s doctor, who is withholding all pain meds for another 30 days, and as a bonus, planning to fireplacing drug test her.

Precision Cluestick Drill Team Awards to Liz, who offered to take a shot at Dr. Rotten’s kneecaps, Esperanza, who is "not sure that I’m aiming for the kneecaps," and Sue, who thanked them "especially for the aim, which we all know is vital."

Parenting Adventures Award, College Division to Name Under Development, with her chilling tale of her daughter’s semester abroad: actual costs running $500/month over projections, financial aid form sent to the wrong place. Yikes.

Shocking Loss of Liberty Award to Diane, whose work is restricting internet access to blogs. "I am definitely not an addict or anything," she notes, but "WAAAAAA."

Naptime Awards to all the tired parents, including Jenevieve (who returns from work to take up a second shift of baby care), Sarah (whose kids have no camp the last 2 weeks before school), and Esperanza (whose Sweet Baboo likes to party all night before Mama’s pastoring Sunday).

Dazzle ‘Em With Teh Cuteness Award to Esperanza, who has no idea what she said on Sunday, but discloses that when the babe goes to church, "Her cuteness blinds and deafens the sweet elderly parishioners to anything silly you yourself may be saying."

Hugs and a quick recovery to Liz, who banged her own knee but good.

Much sympathy to Madeleine’s girl, who is entering the wonderful world of orthodontics with a palette stretcher. Makes me cringe just to hear that term. Ugh.

Countdown Awards to expectant Pixies Sarah, Amy, and Diane!
Thanks for playing this week! See you next time!

Monday, August 11, 2008

Ride on the Whine Train!

Summer is winding down already! Yikes, where did it go? Oh yeah, I was drafted for the Dysfunctional Family Olympic Marathon -- and I'm so ready for some good old-fashioned Random Bullets of Everyday Stuff:
  • Fleas! I need to catch the not-quite-socialized-yet kittens and dose 'em. Please send reinforcements, long leather gloves, humane traps, irresistable cat treats, bandages.

  • Road Warriors. If there is interest, there will be a special prize this week for best dramatic rendition of a road-related tale.

  • How come nobody else thinks doing the dishes is their job? Do they think clean dishes grow on trees, or what?

  • Pawprints in the toilet: go ahead, top that. One of my cats thinks he is a dog.

On the antiwhine side:

  • Flowers!

  • Good cheap Mexican food on a date with my beloved.

  • Stupid comedy DVD's. Strangely addictive.

  • New storage shelves to hold some of my boxes and boxes and boxes of paper, so there's some room in my office for current stuff.

  • Good friends and family.
How's by you, Pixies? All Aboard the Brigadoon Express!
Yeah, posting early. I lost my brain someplace, and am filling time until I find it.

Friday, August 8, 2008

Prizes! Triple-twisting Whineblaster Edition

This week’s awards are brought to you by C@n@d@’s W0nd3rl@nd, where I got blasted, twirled, and drenched on Monday.

The Lazy River Award goes to KLee, for skinned knees and bruises while tubing in a low-flow drought-stricken creek. So sorry, honey! I'm passing the Polysporin.

The Action Movie Stunt Coaster Award goes to Elizabeth, who is caught in the crossfire at work. Keep your seat-belt tightly fastened and your hands inside the car, please.

The Black Hole Water Slide Award goes to Margalit, since that is where her rent money has gone. (“We don’t help people anymore”? What kind of sentence is that? Can you even say that in English?)

The Wave Pool Award goes to esperanza and Uccellina as they continue to put up with the pumping action of their mechanical buddies.

A visit to the Internet Café for the Sweet Baboo, who is newly wireless! Welcome to the 21st century, little one.

Our sympathy to Sue, who has endured another week in the (not so) Fun House with the crazy mirrors, sliding floors, mazes in the dark, and oh, the headache. The headache. Hugs and massages, Sue.

Neighbor Lady must have been looking in those crazy mirrors when she cut her own hair. Hooray for Neighbor Guy, who saved the day when a Paid Professional failed to. It goes without saying that teh LICE gets teh Whine of Substance Award for this week. And last week too, retrospectively.

More hugs to Amy, with mounting pregnancy discomforts, and Sarah, who is just tired of being stuck waiting in a really long line for the best ride in the amusement park. The signpost says “48 day wait from this point.”

Elevated Risk of Mullet Award, for the best single sentence in a Wednesday Whine, goes to kathy a.’s comment on Elizabeth’s internal politics whine:
“if only it was lice, and the drugstore had something for it.”

Best Anti-whine Award also goes to kathy a., for:
“all the cat barf has been easy to clean up.”

And . . . that's it for this week. Join us next week when the award-whining kathy a. is our host.

Get it, get it? Award-WHining? I crack myself up. Stop me before I pun again.

Tuesday, August 5, 2008

Triple-twisting Whineblaster

Welcome back, Whiners.

Due to this past weekend's Civic Holiday (most boring name for a day off, EVAH!) I must whine that yesterday's longer-than-expected visit to the amusement park left me with one mosquito bite, two sore legs, and a very large quantity of uncooked chicken in the fridge. And the plan to grill all that chicken tonight is currently in limbo due to loud thunderclaps.

Anti-whine: Holy wow! When you go to the amusement park with a big family of thrill-seekers you will go on some rides you never would have tried with your staid nuclear family. And you will like them. You will continue to point at the really really big coaster and say "Never."

And you? Had your stomach smashed flat against your back recently? Been drenched in cold water while spinning in circles? What's exciting in your week?