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Wednesday, August 29, 2007

Wildcats in the house

And in the fridge and on the computer and fighting over the television and, goddess forbid, breathing right next to one another. I am going to be so happy next Tuesday when the kids all go back to school. That's all I'm saying.

My oldest is starting high school and has already been asked out for Homecoming. His classes are all rigorous and he's excited to start his next chapter in his life. I'm not sure I am ready for all of this. Just ignore the pile of sodden tissues next to me, 'kay?

The Dancing Girl has yet another amazing teacher. Best of all, Zilla has the most wonderful first grader teacher in the world. His sis had her a few years ago and this should repair the emotional damage caused by that awful kindergarten teacher he had last year.

With that one major whine/anti-whine combo (plus no school buses for their special program this year because our state legislature is Teh Suck), I invite pixies one and all share their whines. Prizes will be awarded for Style, Old Skewl, and Elevated Risk of Mullet. As always, sign your post with *something* so we may properly direct our liquor, chocolate, coffee, and recalcitrant children hugs.

43 comments:

Mykal said...

Whine: Parent's visited last weekend. I'm trying not to dwell so I will spare everyone the details.

Anti-whine: They're GONE, luckily my parents headed home this morning. I am free until Christmas at least. I can't say how much I love living 600 miles away from them.

Miranda said...

((Mykal))

Without going into the gory details, let's just say that I really wished I lived several time zones away from most of my extended family.

Phantom Scribbler said...

You should have sent them over to me, Mykal! I was in the mood to throw crockery, and I could have used a target.

Anti-whine: I think we have just survived summer vacation. Damn, that was close...

Miranda said...

Phantom, can I pleeeese send my sister in law over if you are throwing crockery?

Sending some chocolate your way with big Fiestaware platters. ;)

Queen of West Procrastination said...

Phantom, can I also send my sister over?

Said to me today over the phone: "I don't want you to take this the wrong way..." [I prepare myself to take it the wrong way] "...but I saw your pictures from your camping trip, and you need to stop wearing shoes with your capris. You look stumpy. My first response, on seeing your pictures, was 'Ouch!' With your cankles you can't wear stuff like that."

My response: "But I was camping! It was purely functional! There were also pictures of me wearing weird, tight red sweatpants!"

She: "The sweatpants looked better."

Did I really look bad enough, in clothes that I actually wear in public all the time, to warrent an "Ouch!"?

Sue said...

Let the tossing of the crockery continue!

(((Mykal)))

(((Miranda)))

(((QoWP)))

Phantom, I'm glad you survived summer vacation.

Whine: Fairly unbloggable, really. But I can say that it relates to the creep who was stalking me a few years back. Fireplace. He's back, only now he has a lawyer and is posturing about lawsuits. Right. He fireplacing stalks me and scares me half to death, and he wants to sue ME? Like I said, fireplace.

Another whine: Headache status - I'll see the ER before morning. This one is ramping up too quickly to keep up with my prescribed meds.

Wah.

Anonymous said...

Is bloglines down for everyone else?

Whine: I would love to blog about the headline grabbing toe tapping politician, but I can't, because it will make me way too googlable to people I know.

Anti-whine:His political career is over.

Miranda said...

QoWP - I think my SIL and your sis may be, like, best friends or soul mates or something. I had no idea one had to be chic whilst camping. (roll eyes)

((Sue)) I think we need to set up a special crockery donation center to deal with that fireplacer. I am so sorry you have to deal with this.

kathy a. said...

sending crockery! and chocolate!

whine: giant mound of cold cat barf. between my toes. in the dark.

antiwhine: that end of the cat is a lot better, so far as accidents go.

Miranda said...

Lisa V - I got the Bloglines plumber, too. I think the politician you reference could use some crockery thrown his direction as well.

S. said...

Whine 1: the why's are here in earnest. How long does 2 1/2 go on?

Whine 2: my feeling about summer vacation is the opposite of Phantom's. Tomorrow I need to get up at 6:00 to get the boo to "school" on time. So why am I up at midnight? Trust me everyone, midnight is EARLY for me.

Whine 3: even though she claims to be thrilled and delighted to be going to her new room and new teacher, with old and new friends, Z. has been up out of her bed SEVEN times tonight. Yes, I counted.

Whine 4: and now I'm going to bed, too, even though I am fairly certain sleep is more than an hour away. Possibly two. Sleep-training myself, y'all. Wish me luck, because I'm certain to fail.

--Sheila

elswhere said...

Moving to a whole other country is such fertile ground for whines that I could write a book. A big, fat, whine-tastic doorstop of a book. But I'll be selective here:

This morning, when I woke up achy and exhausted from the previous day spent getting all our stuff loaded onto a gigantic truck, driving the truck across an international border, and then getting all our stuff unloaded [with help, but still hours of sweaty physical work], my spouse grabbed the first shower. "I haven't showered in two days," she said grumpily.

Now, her life for the past couple days has also been no picnic; she'd been wrangling our kid by herself, and driving back and forth to the border, and such.

But I'd assumed, at the very least, that I had first dibs on showering.

I still haven't had a shower and it's 1:30 in the morning.

My hair itches.

Jenevieve said...

Oh Sue, I hope that fireplacer leaves you alone. I had a stalker once (at the end of high school) and it was the worst. I am still paranoid many years later that he might show up. And he never even tried to sue me (because seriously, WTF? Isn't that against some sort of creep's code of conduct?)

Whine: Do I even need to say my whine? It's the same as last week's whine. I miss having ankles, a functional back and hips, the ability to eat without reflux, and hugging my husband without a 30lb bowling ball sandwiched between us. I was doing okay (really) until my doctor informed me that the earliest they'd induce is 12 days after his due date, or the 20th of September. I almost lost it in the office. I can't be pregnant for another almost month!

Antiwhine: Had a great anniversary yesterday with Matt. He bought me flowers! Yay! I can count the number of times he's done that on, um, 3 fingers. We had a bunch of fun and ate really good Chinese food.

If anyone needs me, I'm the one googling magical incantations and potions to induce labor.

Susan Anne MacKenna said...

Ugh - crockery all around! Can someone please take good aim at the admin in my office? She's surly and mean and unhelpful in taking care of the, erm, administrative tasks. She barges into meetings uninvited and expects us to listen to her inane strategy ideas (which are truly insane sometimes), and she comes in late; leaves early. She gossips and stirs trouble. The closest thing to an antiwhine is that at least we all know the quantity, so we can ignore it. But she talks to clients a lot, which I see as a potential problem. Oh, and with the boss leaving (WHIIIINNNNEEEE) there's not much to be done.

Another whine: Mr. Mac has started back to school, and his classes? Land sakes! He's BUSY. I miss him already, and it's not even September!!

S. I don't know which is worse, the "whys" or the drill sergeant version of 2 1/2. I have the latter. Oy!

Antiwhine: the heat finally broke. It's pathetic that I'm celebrating highs in the upper 80's as a "cooling trend", but dang, it feels nice to be able to go outside.

Biggest antiwhine: Long weekend coming up with a beach trip complete with Mr. Mac, Little Miss S, Miss M and her twobestfriendsforever. WHEEEEEEEEE!

swissmiss said...

We're moving. Next door. But we still have to pack everything, pay for movers, and clean the apartment when we leave. Did I mention we're just going next door?

If we were to devise some standard like minutes spent packing per mile moved, I wouldn't even be as inefficient as a Hummer.

Yankee T said...

A Whiney Poem About The Heat

Oh summer breeze, where art thou?
The sweat, it pours off my brow.
I laughed at leaving snow and such
And now I schvitz so very much.

One hundred broke just yesterday
"It's down to 96!" they say
For natives there's much joyful noise,
For my part, give me water toys.

New England's winters I don't miss
But mid-80s would be sheer bliss
My fireplacing fireplace
Just sits there taking up good space

I'm not complaining, really, though
This region costs me much less dough
So for the north parts I'm not pining,
I just want to join the Wednesday Whining.

Miranda said...

Kathy A - Uh, EWWW!

S. - I'm having the same problem at my house. I will be such a basket case next week and so will my children.

Jenevieve - Let me send some "Baby, Get Out Yo'Belly" vibes. I think it's amazing the way Mother Nature has this way of using the last month to make us actually WANT to go through labor and delivery. Cuz, you know, otherwise I can't see us signing on for it. ;)

Elsewhere - If you did write a book about your moving experience, I would buy it. But I hope settling in goes much easier than the move has. ((hugs))

Swiss Miss - Good luck on your "big" move. It's insane how complicated it all is.

Mykal said...

Crockery for the parents, all of them(well the mean ones at least)! I feel bad sometimes that I don't like my parents, it's so very reassuring to realize so many of the Pixies have the same problem. (How did we end up with such awful parents though?)

a/k/a Nadine said...

whine: My contractors have disappeared. No call, no show for over two weeks. My storm door remains leaning on the side of my house, which makes using the back door challenging with 2 cats and 2 dogs all willing to attempt escape. Grrrr.

Phantom Scribbler said...

Jenevieve: black licorice. The real stuff. Seriously. That's how I induced LG. Just don't try it if you have any reason to be concerned about your blood pressure, OK?

Sue, I don't even know what to say. Hugs and lots of them.

Anonymous said...

Hugs to all the crockery-throwers. Insane families: can't live with 'em, can't maroon them on a desert island, more's the pity.

Big whine: I got to work an hour ago to find that my freezer. Had. Defrosted. (Hyperventilation.) With all my samples in. Five years of work! Defrosted! Frantic relocation ensued.

Antiwhine: Most of it will probably be fine. And I found $900 of antibodies lurking in the back!

Whine: And then I got to deconstruct a centrifuge tube that someone from the next lab over had BLOWN UP inside our rotor. Our very expensive rotor. Exploded tube. Will not come out. Gaaaaaaah! Can I go beat him with the rotor? Idiot first-years: always ready to break stuff.

Antiwhine: Surely someone will be able to get it out? Like the company?

Whine: I'm now the senior person in our lab, so whenever something goes wrong, who does my lab ask? That's right, me. Because I know. I don't WANT to!!!

Whine: My crazy sister wants to come visit in a few weeks, with her two-month-old and all their coming-from-abroad, for-a-month, also-for-a-wedding luggage. For a day. What??? She professes to want to see us.

Whine: How many times can she ask me about train schedules? There is this thing, we call it the internet.

Whine: I don't want to see her.

Antiwhine: 2-year anniversary next week. At least one thing is going right.

S. said...

Jenevieve: there's this stuff you can get called Labor Tonic from Birth with Love dot com. The site is run by a former midwife in Montana. I know you're in the UK, but I was so flipped out and panicked about the possibility of going late and being induced that when I ran out a few days after my due date I had it overnighted to myself.

And evening primrose oil is available at any health food store.

ScienceWoman said...

Crockery for the sisters and administrators. I'd donate some, but much of mine is still packed (6 weeks after move).

Whine: We've had two offers on our house, two sets of inspections that showed nothing major wrong, and two buyers that decided to pull out any way. And yet we don't get any earnest money. What the heck is earnest money for if not to show the buyer you are serious about actually, you know, buying the house.

Antiwhine: I think I get my first paycheck next week. That'll help with the two sets of mortgage payments.

Leslie M-B said...

104° F.

Fat.

Bicycling to and from work.

Karen said...

I'm whining for a friend today. 10 hours before the moving truck arrived at my friend's house to move her stuff into her boyfriend's house so they could move in together he dumped her! She had already turned off her utilities and sold her own house so she had nowhere to go! He's paying to put her stuff in storage, but she's still homeless and is moving in with me for awhile until she can find a place on her own (not the easiest thing to do in NYC!). I'm happy to help, but having an open ended houseguest in my tiny NYC apt is frightening.

Pass the chocolate!

Elizabeth said...

OMFG to Kai and her friend. That takes the cake.

Whine: Work is suddenly insanely busy. Don't these people realize that school is starting next week? What idiot thought it would be a good idea to release this paper on Labor Day? Oh, right, that idiot would be me.

Anonymous said...

Hugs and crockery to all.
QoWP, I'm shaking my head at the rudeness of your sister. Sue, many many hugs and thoughts going to you. I think that guy has a new definition of chutzpah right there.
Devilmacdawg, go read a book called Bellwether, by Connie Willis, and you will laugh and groan in recognition of the administrator. It's very funny and cathartic to read.

Anonymous said...

Votes for some kind of award to Kathy A for cold cat barf between the toes. That's just not a good way to start the day. And to trillwig for biking in 104 degrees. All one should do in 104 degrees is sit in the air conditioning.

No real whines for me this week. We're moving ahead on treatment plans for baby's trouble when he/she arrives. I am tired of filling out forms.

And my 89 year old grandmother can work circles around me without getting tired. How is that possible?

kathy a. said...

sympathy to the crockery club and those who are moving, pregnant, too hot, troubled by work, etc. sue, especially thinking of you.

last year, i whined rather extravagently about my batshit SIL and worries for her young son. i guess it wasn't just me. she lost primary custody, was ordered by the court to get mental health treatment, and then the judge ordered only supervised visits with her son since she is behaving so erratically -- she then yelled at the judge and stomped out of court. her work has instructed her to dress appropriately, stop talking to herself all day, and get treatment.

i guess this is really an anti-whine, because i think nephew will be better off with his dad, and SIL has desperately needed treatment. it's really sad it took 18 months of alienating everyone she knows [and using her poor child as a weapon in her battles] to start realizing she is in trouble.

Anonymous said...

Flying crockery for all family members who offer unsolicited, unwanted, rude, and/or just plain mean ("but I meant well!") opinions. What the fireplace. Hugs to all of us pixies with difficult relationships with our parents.

Including for me and my brother with our mother, who consistently undermines my brother's shaky self-esteem when it comes to parenting his 20-month old. (It's complicated story- he shares custody with his ex-girlfriend who legally tried to undermine him being a parent and so plus his own bad self-esteem he is very unsure of himself.)

And frankly, some crockery my way since I seem to think I can fix everyone (my mother's stick her nose where it don't belongedness, my brother's low self-esteem, my friend's history of bad relationships, my best friends ailing relationship, everyone in fact, except myself, of course). Someone please tell me to get off the cross, we need the wood already. (AA gets all the pithy sayings)

You know, I am profoundly jealous of everyone who has physical distance from their parents. When I decided to move to my present city it was 1300 miles from my mother. Then she decided to move here. Putting us 16 mi apart. What the fireplace. Now I have to work on emotional distance so that I can not be a blob hiding under my bed. And emotional distance- it's hard to create. As an ex of mine used to say: "Hard work: not what I'm best at"

I DO have an anti-whine: it's almost fall! I love fall.And it has stopped being insanely hot here (an extra fan and/or a/c for those like YT and trillwing who are still suffering).

Mykal said...

Turtlebella, I would die if my parents moved to my town, or my state, or well anywhere within 3 hours (weekend visiting distance for them).

Anonymous said...

Mykal, I know, right?! And as you say, it helps to know that lots of pixies have similar problems with their parents.

Hugs for kathy a's nephew and here's hoping SIL gets the help she needs.

Anonymous said...

Additional whine:

Went upstairs to discover the radiation freezer had ALSO defrosted. Aaaaah!

QoWP, I looked at the pictures- you look quite lovely! I have no idea what your sister meant.

Liz Miller said...

JFS, BOTH had defrosted???? That sounds like someone unplugged them overnight and then plugged 'em back in this morning.

Any disgruntled folks at your lab?

Sue said...

hugs to all the pixies dealing with crockery-worthy relatives. And to JFS for defrosting incidents! WTF???

kabbage said...

Whine: I am very aware of where my sit-bones are.

Anti-whine: that is because I got my bike out, then got it fixed (who'd've guessed the grease in the shifters might dry out and gunk up the works if you don't ride much for 11 years?), and today rode 5 miles and stayed upright the entire time! And most of the time I shifted gears when I wanted.

BroccoliEater said...

My husband cancelled vacation.

This is both a whine and antiwhine, because this "vacation" was to go visit his family. Who I do love, but there's only so much viewing my child through the Retrospectoscope of Forgotten Parenting Events that I can handle (ie, my father in law, who was absent for his sons' toddlerhoods, preaching about our errors in going about potty trainintg).

So antiwhine: no 9-hour drives on congested highways to visit people who are going to explicitly or implicitly criticize our parenting.

Whine: If I'd known we were not coming back at Labor Day, I would have taken the kids down to see their other grandparents. Because I didn't, and my parents got a whole relaxing week with the kids, I'm now going to be the Evil Daughter In Law Who Keeps Us From Our Grandkids. Lady, it's YOUR son who is the workaholic here. Dude, where do you think he LEARNED that work comes before leisure, forever and ever amen?

OneTiredEma said...

Jenevieve, what worked for me was a prenatal massage with labor inducing accupressure. (Find someone who really knows it.) Even if it doesn't work, it is so relaxing and re-energizing...

Kai and her friend get extra chocolate. With ice cream.

And the moving whines--we moved 3 blocks 3 years ago and, despite the fact that our new apartment is so much bigger/better it took a while to get past all the horrendousness of packing and unpacking. So my thoughts are with you all.

And now to me.

My children and my sinuses and my subconscious are conspiring to make sure that I never have restful sleep again. Ever. Everyday tasks are overwhelming and sometimes feel kind of dangerous. Napping while driving over the George Washington Bridge is a bad idea, right? What about while I am in the cash lanes?

I am seriously considering going to bed with the kids at 7:15. If I am in bed for 11 hours I could probably count on at least 5 of them being unconscious.

kathy a. said...

JFS: power outage? i think you should get a prize for finding antibodies in the back of a melted freezer -- MUCH better than what the rest of us usually find.

kabbage: who knew there were bones under the sitting apparatus? not me; not for a while now.

JM said...

whine: real estate market. this is a crappy time to try to sell a condo/starter home in the Bay Area (and probably other places, but mine is in the Bay Area). I can wait it out for about five more months for sure, and I will. But it is stressful.

anti-whine: everything besides the house, which is 1000 miles away from where I am now, is at an apogee of happy. that's a pretty damn good anti-whine.

Unknown said...

Crockery throwers, please take my dishes. They are all dirty. Dishwasher STILL broken.

Kai: same thing happened many years ago to a friend of mine, only she was on an airplane to Boston from Oregon when she was dumped. She ended up staying with me for 9 freaking months. It was ugly.

Whine: Furious about a blogging thing I can't really talk about, but it's such a crappy example of the 'incrowd' just closing their eyes to anyone other than their friends I want to scream.

Whine: School STILL hasn't started here. Sept 6 is the date. I am not going to make it. Really, I'm not.

Antiwhine: Won a contest where an interior designer comes to my house and makes over a room using my stuff (staging).

Whine: Everything in my house is total crap. She's gonna have to start over.

Whine: Eye doctor appt today. She dialated my eyes and I'm blind. Hate that.

Whine: Bank of American doesn't DO regional car loans, even tho they are my bank.

Antiwhine: New car is sitting waiting for me to get a freaking car loan. But the car is mine as soon as I get loan approved. With air conditioning. And a CD player.

Antiwhine: in this month of Elul, I have decided to go camping in Maine instead of going to shul for Yom Kippur. I can do teshuva in the woods just fine.

Whine: paint on my ceilings is peeling at such a rapid rate the ceilings look like dalmation skin.

Antiwhine: NE Mama bloggers had GREAT get together (um, Phantom, we missed you) and will be doing it again. New friends!

Whine: No work. Need freelance work fast. Money tight.

Antiwhine: New meds for son working fairly well. Phew.

S. said...

Kabbage, your avatar! You have Aussies! I have Aussies! Are they not the most uncannily human dogs in the entire world?

Okay, that's not a whine or an antiwhine, just, cool, you have a beautiful Aussie!

Now I will let you all get back to business. Carry on.

KLee said...

Ugh. Back to work. Have changed jobs and classrooms.

Hot. Tired. Cranky. Fat pants have not magically been rendered either looser or flattering.

Have apparently turned into CaveTeacher. Need remedial English.

Votes for Sue, cause your day has gone beyond "suck."