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Monday, December 8, 2014

Wednesday Whining: I have a friend who has everything, including terminal cancer, so I made him chocolates edition

Those of you for whom I have addresses will be getting chocolates, too. If you'd like to ensure the receipt of chocolate please send me your address  (liz (at) millerhousehold (dot) com)

I don't know how I'm gonna get through tomorrow's talk at my friend's progressive group. He and his wife are two of the biggest reasons I came so close to winning last year. Their belief in me made me go beyond the messaging campaign that was all I thought I had the resources for.

Other than that, things are swell here. My family is healthy. Christmas and Hanukkah are coming.

What is up with you folks?

91 comments:

kathy a. said...

((( Liz )))

kathy a. said...

Well, you will talk about the vision you share with your friends -- things that need to happen to make things better. They believe in you; the vision you share is larger than any individual person; those are wonderful gifts.

If there is a tiny silver lining to knowing someone you care about will die soonish, it is that you have a chance to say nice things about them and to them now, rather than saving it for the memorial.

This weekend is the annual fundraising event for a do-good organization. I think this is the 20th year; it was always organized before by my dear friend S, who died in January. Carrying on is good. Last year, she insisted on micromanaging all details as usual -- I mean, down to the emails about making sure I brought doilies for the platters. We sneakily gave her an award, which she insisted embarrassed her, but -- little did any of us know she only had 3 weeks left. I miss S so much. But I found a good deal on doilies last January, so by gum, we are totally prepared to carry on in a manner she would approve.

xoxo

Queen of West Procrastination said...

Oh Liz. I'm so story about your friend, and I am sending many hugs. Your homemade chocolate idea is a very good one.

Update on Missing Friend: he's been spotted in two different towns on The Island, over the past few days. So, as of Saturday, he's still alive and on the Island. But we don't know what his plan is, and the sooner he's found, the better. The local news on the Island had his sister on last night, and so I'm glad that the word is getting out.

W: I'm very tired, and it's my birthday. E cried out in her sleep at 5am today, and my brain wouldn't let me sleep after that.

AW: Mr. Q can take one EDO per year (in exchange for the massive amounts of extracurricular he does), and so he booked today off! I'm free from toddler responsibilities, and can just hang around and drink tea all day.

esperanza said...

Mr. Q is a good egg. Happy Birthday!

kathy a. said...

QWP -- Hippo Birdie, Two Ewe! And kudos to Mr. Q.

It's good your friend has been spotted, and fingers firmly crossed. xoxo

Anonymous said...

Happy Birthday QWP!!!!
:) Neighbor Lady

esperanza said...

W: Two Baboos quickly running to the potty. Tummy bug. Sweet missed today--she's feeling pretty lively but still running to the potty. She will have to miss tomorrow too. Mini swears she is not sick, but I am highly skeptical.

W: I am supposed to be running a meeting in Big City Wednesday. That's not looking good. It's a meeting in which people may potentially lose their jobs, which I don't exactly want to lead by conference call. Mr. E's Wednesday is completely full, as they are hosting an interviewee for a position. This is why I can't be a grownup professional person. Sigh.

kathy a. said...

Grandma time? Sounds like an emergency, Esperanza. Bribery would seem appropriate.

And that kind of meeting -- no, not conference call material.

xoxo

esperanza said...

Grandma would come, but it's 5 hours away. If there were a local grandma, I would call.

Now some question in my mind if Mini is really sick. Sweet showed slight improvement (really, you do *not* want the details on that). I imagine Sweet can be back to school on Wednesday. Crossing my fingers on Mini.

W/AW: Public performances are NOT Sweet's thing. Her school holiday program is tomorrow night. Since she can't go to school tomorrow...no program for her. I know she will be disappointed, but my stress level has gone way down.

Sue said...

(((Liz)))

Happy Birthday QWP!

kathy, I know the fundraiser will go really well. Your friend taught you well how to make it all work. She will be encouraging you all week!

(((esperanza))) I'm glad your stress level is down a bit, but oy, what a week!

W: A friend is sucking the life out of me these days. Seriously. She doesn't like technology, but LOVES the telephone. I fireplacing hate talking on the phone. Hate it. She's retired and bored so calls me several times a week in the evening. I see her name on the call display and groan. Sometimes I just can't answer.

She means well, I think, but we have nothing in common but church. When she was working, she had no life outside of the church. At all. She had no boundaries, and no limit to how much of her time her parishioners could take up.

When she sees me taking care of myself and having, you know, a LIFE - she gets this patronizing "Good for you" tone in her voice that makes me want to punch her in the throat.

Sorry for venting. I'm really stressed.

esperanza said...

It is definitely, definitely, definitely ok not to answer the phone. Definitely.

kathy a. said...

Fingers crossed on the Mini front.

Sue, that sounds dreadful. Several chatty evening calls a week?? Oy.... I personally think it is find to let calls roll over to voicemail.



esperanza said...

Er. Mini, though running around at full speed, is showing symptoms of illness AND (more tellingly) went to sleep easily tonight. Crap.

kathy a. said...

I'm calling it a 24 hour bug! Sleep is good!! Pixie dust!!

Queen of West Procrastination said...

I hope that last night's sleep was exactly what Mini needed, so that she could fight off the bug her sister has (and the sleep wasn't a harbinger of illness).

AW: Friend C has been found, and he's home and safe! Of course, there's now a long road of mental health care and everything, but I'm so relieved that he's alive and no longer missing.

esperanza said...

Oh, such good news, QWP!

Sue said...

Good news QWP!

kathy a. said...

yay!

kathy a. said...

I'm really glad your friend was found, QWP, and that he has so much support. Thinking good thoughts for everyone. He and those nearby who are helping will need a lot of love, probably. xoxxo

Stars and whiskers, I have let this holiday thing slip. Power shopping. We're not going big, but....

Liz said...

YAY QWP!!!

Liz said...

My talk today went well. I didn't cry, even when I presented my friend and his wife with the chocolates.

kathy a. said...

Yay, Liz! And friends! I mean, they are turning out even when the world is crashing, and that's a good model. xoxo

Esperanza, we're gonna need a Mini update.

The fundraiser organizer is starting to freak out a little, but she's doing great, and one of my jobs has always been to say THIS WILL BE GREAT! Even if things go wrong, WE CAN DO IT! One of the (only) forgotten things was asking certain organizations to send an email invite to people in their offices who might not be on our list, so that's done. Forging ahead!

Queen of West Procrastination said...

Hooray and hugs for Liz.

Cheering on Kathy as well.

Old Skool: Planning a Sparkly Skirt and Then Finding Out the Xmas Party is "Business Casual": The QWP Story.

AW: I ended up saying "fireplace it" and decided to wear the dang sparkly top. (I just went with a looser skirt, instead of the pencil skirt I had planned on wearing, switched from heels to boots, and threw a cardigan over everything. )

esperanza said...

Good for you for sticking with the sparkly top, QWP. What does business casual mean anyway?

Mini update: not sick. I guess it was the crappy food she ate Sunday that made it look like she was sick. So she stayed home today for no reason, was extra full of energy, and pretty much made me crazy. Sweet is significantly better. They will both go to school tomorrow, and I will go to my meeting, which I fear is now obsolete, due to some decisions made by higher up people.

Liz said...

Esperanza - Obsolete meetings you nonetheless have to attend are worthy of a clue-sticking. But good news about the health and welfare of your baboos!

QWP, sparkly tops are always appropriate at holiday gatherings.

Kathy, so glad the fundraiser planning is going smoothly.



kathy a. said...

If someone sends a large pop-up greeting -- something requiring counter space instead of being suitable to stick on a door with the other cards -- is this a card, or an attempt to decorate somebody else's house?

In non-Grinch news, I think I mailed most of that which needed it, and also laid in supplies in case the ~gasp~omg~ big rain takes out power.

kathy a. said...

Oh, I agree about sparkly tops.

And about cluestickings for obsolete meetings -- although what the heck, there could turn out to be some consensus on something. Cheers!

esperanza said...

At this point, if it involves talking to grownups, I don't even care if it's obsolete.

Liz said...

I think that may get a mullet, Esperanza.

kathy a. said...

Seconding the mullet. :)

So, the power might go out tomorrow night, and I've got batteries; I've got a radio; got flashlights, and LED tea lights. Kinda wishing I had a battery-operated lantern for reading, just in case. But am too lazy and cheap to go look for one.

Sue said...

Yep, mullet for esperanza...definitely.

Yay Liz!!! You are amazing.

We're rooting for you for the fundraiser kathy - it will be great!

I'm all about the sparkly top QWP. The drab conformists will be jealous.

kathy a. said...

Oh -- daughter was at the dollar store, and found me a small battery-powered lantern!

I have no sparkly tops; cannot do a sparkly top. But think I'm going with the sparkly scarf. ;)

Queen of West Procrastination said...

AW: I got to the party, and everyone was a bit dressier than "business casual," and I was exactly appropriately dressed.

W: internal ultrasound today, to figure out the course of action for my fibroids. I have to drink a litre of water and then not pee for an hour before the u/s. But my doctor ordered the u/s, and put in a request for a specialist, BECAUSE the fibroids having been causing me to have an overactive bladder. So, I'm going to have to drive myself to the radiology clinic while wiggling around uncomfortably.

kathy a. said...

Oy, QWP!

Liz said...

Yikes!

esperanza said...

QWP, some evil elf was somewhere thinking, "how could we make an internal ultrasound *more* unpleasant? I know! Full bladder!" (Though I am a veteran of many such procedures, I was always allowed to empty mine. Sorry you aren't. Hopefully this will give your doctor some clear answers).

Meeting update: indeed, our work was obsolete, built on castles in the sky of a dream budget (that we were told would be accurate). So we did some work based on the realistic budget. Which was later over-ruled based on *yet more dreaming* about money that *might* come in the first quarter of 2015. Can we say "kicking the can down the road?" (Is that a Texas thing? It means postponing the inevitable). But there were grownups involved, my opinion was respected, we did some good work. And Baboos survived the day at school intact.

AW: When I took Sweet to school this morning, her classmates cried, "Sweet! Sweet is back!!" and proceeded to bombard her with news of the past two days. Warmed my heart, it did.

kathy a. said...

Oh, the Sweet-mates! I adore them!

Glad the meeting was good, anyway. And yes it was -- discussions about priorities and contingencies are, and bonus for the respectful dialog. (Kicking the can is not just a TX thing. But the "if we had this much, what should we do" discussion seems important.)

Queen of West Procrastination said...

Oh, Sweet's classmates are so cute! And I'm glad that your opinion was respected, and you did get good work done during your meeting, even if everyone tended too much toward dreaming.

AW: I survived the ultrasound! It turns out that the full bladder was needed because they also wanted to do an external u/s, after which the tech let me go empty my bladder. The tech was super professional, and the clinic was so efficient (and non-busy) that I was driving home twenty minutes after my appointment was scheduled to begin.

W: I am now uncomfortable and tired. All that full bladder business, followed by the pressure from the u/s, was pretty rough on my fibroids, and now I'm really sore. I've had to use heating pads quite a bit today. I know that this sort of thing is exactly why my doctor wants my fibroids removed soon, but the process of figuring things out is pretty uncomfortable.

esperanza said...

((QWP))

kathy a. said...

Oh, QWP. Good you got out quickly, but that sounds painful and exhausting.

We've gotten only a few raindrops so far, but tonight is supposed to be STORM STORM STORM, high winds, flooding, trees taking power lines down. Did the dishes; have enough pet food for the apacalypse; stew in the pot and rice, too; charged my electronics; backed up data; batteries, radio, flashlights. Pre-ground coffee, check. Tealights and candles, check. Gas stove -- and a lighter in case the electronic ignition goes out.

All this prep means the storm will go elsewhere, according to the laws of controverting the expected. But what the heck. We'll still have stew and clean dishes. ;)

esperanza said...

Hatches are battened? Stay safe.

Liz said...

(((QWP)))

Esperanza, the cockles of my heart are now warm and toasty.

Kathy, that is some excellent prep right there.

kathy a. said...

It was very windy overnight -- and the wind was loud! Power stayedon, knock wood; so far, so good with the rain. But our phones kept doing these odd half-rings, and there was no caller. ???

esperanza said...

Our phone does that during heavy rainstorms too! I suspect that the wind-driven rain gets something wet somewhere that's not supposed to get wet. But I don't know. Nor do I know why it seems to occur so frequently in the wee hours of the morning.

kathy a. said...

It happened 6 or 7 times between 2 and 6 a.m.! Not a great night for sleep.

Queen of West Procrastination said...

That's super strange! (And terrible at those times!)

W: my brain is getting the best of me. I expected my doctor's office to call and schedule an appointment when they got my results. I didn't expect then to phone first thing this morning, with the message that my doctor wants to see me immediately, this afternoon. Trying to reassure myself that she's just trying to get the ball rolling quickly...

kathy a. said...

((( QWP ))) Here's hoping the doc had a sudden opening, and knows you want the news out of the way. Is there someone who can go with you and/or take care of E? xoxoxo

Queen of West Procrastination said...

My parents are coming over, and I asked for a time during her nap. It definitely wasn't just a sudden opening: I had my pick of times! (My GP does long, prebooked appointments in the morning, and saves a bunch of the shorter afternoon spots for same-day calls.

kathy a. said...

Leak report: our only roof leak is small, under a skylight in the kitchen, over quality vinyl flooring. No problem!

But one of the cats has decided "outside the box" applies to peeing. I asked my beloved to get some rubber-backed mats, and he bought one, which is a problem if it needs washing. Which it sincerely does.

Daughter went to work in the city -- she found an alternate route past the train station with a power outage -- and her workplace is completely dark.

Liz said...

(((QWP))) I have all crossable appendages crossed.

Kathy, I hope your daughter has fun working in the dark! I've done that in an office with no windows. Quite...exhilarating.

kathy a. said...

Hugs, QWP.

Daughter is heading home. Her boss not only didn't make it, but wasn't reachable. No flashlights, even. Obviously, no customers, either.

esperanza said...

Oh, QWP, I hope the alarm is not needed. Peace to you.

Queen of West Procrastination said...

AW: good news! My fibroids have shrunk significantly. The (mildly) annoying part is that most of them are too tiny for the procedure that we were originally considering, and so we're now talking about long term monitoring. But it looks like my (progestin-only) bc is helping shrink them, and we'll reevaluate in a few years.

Anonymous said...

YAYYYYY!!!!!!!!!
Great news QWP!
:) Neighbor Lady

kathy a. said...

great news, QWP! xoxo

Sue said...

Hugs and more hugs QWP and Yay for shrinking fibroids!!!

Yay for a good meeting esperanza. Good work!

kathy, I hope all is well.

W: Chunky meeting about another chunky meeting happening in February. Someone says "Well, when we held this meeting 7 years ago, our church got stuck with most of the work. But that's water under the bridge."

I could not help myself. I very calmly said, "Really? Because if we're talking about it 7 years later it sounds like there are some hard feelings? What can we do to make sure this time around is better?"

Why? Why am I sitting in stoopid meetings two weeks before Christmas?

AW: good haircut and a lovely visit with the nicest stylist ever. Love that woman - she always makes me smile.

esperanza said...

QWP, I hate to be a party pooper, but they still hurt, yes? Is there any relief for you in the meantime? (and a hearty HOORAY for the good news)

Sue, my sympathies on meetings about meetings.

kathy a. said...

QWP, also hoping for relief in the meantime.

Sue -- meetings about meetings? But actually, how do we make it better this time is a good thought. There should be a movie about 7 year grudges...

Haiku of teh W:

New mat! Soaked in pee
already. Because, why not?
This is war, Kitty.

Queen of West Procrastination said...

Esperanza: that was the part I find annoying. Since they're improving, and don't give me as much discomfort as they did two years ago, my Dr wants me to give them more time, so we can see what they do on their own. So,I just deal with discomfort, hoping for gradual relief. If they're still giving me trouble in a couple more years, then we'll deal with them. Blergh.

Kathy a for style! And strong cleaners.

Liz said...

No. If they are causing you discomfort, wait another two years is not an answer.

esperanza said...

Tragic whine: Mr E's church lady killed by a drunk driver yesterday, 4:00 in the afternoon, right here in LittleTownVille.

Not tragic whine, but it's mine, so I'll whine it: we had the Open House (at our house) for the congregation scheduled for Sunday afternoon. Most likely time for funeral to be scheduled: Yep, Sunday afternoon. We can postpone with little inconvenience, but I was looking forward to getting this thing done.

Sue said...

kathy a for Style!!

Oh my goodness, esperanza, how tragic. I'm so sorry. Sometimes I think every car should be fitted with one of those "Won't start 'til you pass the breathalizer" things.

QWP - I agree, it would be good to have relief sooner rather than later.

Watching tv coverage from a mudslide in a senior neighbourhood in California. How awful! It makes our Snowpocalypses look tame.

AW: No sermon this week! Today I'm decorating for the holidays and playing Santa - dropping off a small holiday package to our wonderful pharmacy staff, the service dept at the car dealer, and the nice woman who takes hubby's grocery order fo delivery every other week. People who make our lives better. Just a few chocolates, but they sure appreciate it.

kathy a. said...

Oh, Esperanza. That's awful.

Sorry about the juggling of the Open House.

Sue sounds positively festive! Must get those last things figured out -- presents, menu, cleaning, you know...

Yah, big storm! Fortunately, have not heard of major injuries. Forces of nature; what can ya do?

A. Nonnie Mouse said...

There have been local protests about the cases where unarmed black men were shot and killed, and the officers did not get indicted. And I have sympathy, because WTF?

A young adult related to me has taken a few photos of the massive police presence in his area this week. The other night, a protest was winding down by his apartment, and he went out to take a couple photos with his cellphone. An officer from one of the many departments that "volunteered" to help -- that officer clubbed my young person on the neck. He said the officer looked surprised when he got back up off the sidewalk.

Then all the officers decided to move along since NOTHING BAD WAS HAPPENING WITH THE PROTEST, which was breaking up anyway, so it wasn't possible to get a badge number.

Can I just point out that this kind of crap does not inspire citizen faith in the mission of police officers?

Queen of West Procrastination said...

Oh my goodness, Nonnie. That really does not inspire faith in the local police. I hope your young person is okay.

Esperanza: I'm so sorry (and I understand the frustration about the inconvenient, in the midst of the tragic).

AW: I'm at peace about waiting a little longer. If things flare up again, I'll go back to the doctor and ask that she refer me to an OBGYN, but I know what my options are, and they are all pretty major, with awful recovery. I'd rather deal with occasional discomfort and inconvenience than have to recover from something major at a point where I have a young toddler, who needs to be carried a lot. And, since they're shrinking on their own, I'd like to see how much they shrink (which would make them easier to get rid of), than go on the medication that shrinks than quickly, but has awful side effects.

You know, the more I think about all of this, the more I have peace about it. I was in a bit of turmoil because the procedure we were considering (but which isn't possible in my case, it turns out) is one that preserves most fertility. And then I was all in a tizzy, thinking "I thought I said we were done, but I didn't know this was an option, but we gave all the baby stuff away, and do I want more? Why do I feel so wistful?" But my original OBGYN was right: the only way to get pregnant again would be to leave in all the fibroids. And I'm not going through that nightmare again. So, now I'm feeling settled.

esperanza said...

Ugh, Nonnie. That's awful.

Turns out the drunk driver might have been on other substances besides alcohol. Which changes nothing, really.

Queen of West Procrastination said...

(((Esperanza))) I imagine you guys will be supporting a lot of grieving people in your small community. We're here to support you as you also grieve.

esperanza said...

Thanks, QWP, but I'll admit I didn't know her well. There are about 3 women, all the same age, all named "Sue," and I just haven't been able to keep them straight. There, my shameful preacher's wife confession. So, my grief is distant.

kathy a. said...

But not such distant grief to others. The support in the time of grief role -- it matters. xoxo

kathy a. said...

I think that leaves preacher families, and those in helping professions generally, on the hook for a lot of support -- often at odd times and bad times. Sometimes too many at once, also. xoxo

esperanza said...

Mini running fever all the sudden. Headache. I suspect flu. Because what more do we need to have in our house within two weeks? Just about at the end of my rope over here.

Queen of West Procrastination said...

Oh no, Esperanza. I really hope Mini gets better quickly, since you just got Sweet feeling better. So many hugs.

Sue said...

(((Nonnie)))) Sending love and hugs.

Oh no esperanza - here's hoping for a quick recovery time for Mini.

QWP, glad you're feeling better about waiting. Still, pain is so exhausting and you're already chasing a busy toddler. I've found it's good to keep some kind of record of your pain levels just so you can look back and see how you're managing it.

Liz said...

Keep whining. Awards tomorrow. I'm having brunch with the governor131

esperanza said...

well, well, well. Brunch with the governor!

It's the flu. Which the Baboos had LAST Christmas, despite getting the vaccine.

kathy a. said...

Fan-cy, Liz!

Boo on Baboo flu.

Liz said...

Begone Baboo Flu! You are unwelcome and unwanted.

People, the brunch was in a house that the Madisons escaped to during the war of 1812. It was the White House for a night. I am not kidding.

I was........overwhelmed.

kathy a. said...

Today's the big fundraiser; I'm going super-early to work on setup, food arrangement, calming the organizer, etc. It will be lovely; always is. This year, there is spectacular donated space, and just a ton of gourmet food donations -- pretty upscale for something that started as a potluck!

But, am unexpectedly sad. We'll be honoring the members of our community who died this year, and so it kind of feels like yet another memorial. I particularly miss S, who organized all these events before.

The husband of the friend who died very recently just found a great spot for her memorial. Can't manage a cross-country trip for the service, alas.

Nobody is allowed to die in 2015! I know that more people die as one gets older, but it is really freaky that 3 of the people lost this year were my age (56-57), which is not exactly ancient.

kathy a. said...

Wow, Liz.

Sue said...

Wow, Liz!!! That is amazing!

(((kathy)))

(((esperanza)))) I hope the Baboo flu passes quickly.

Liz said...

(((Kathy)))

Annnnnndddddd....while I was at the second event of the day, I got a call from my husband. A woman was going too fast and crossed the median and hit him head-on.

He's fine. (And I am grateful)

The car is not fine (and I am grateful).

esperanza said...

oh Liz! That's how the woman here died on Thursday. I am so, so, so glad your husband is ok. I hope the other person is too. Oh, that gives me the shivers. Hug each other tight.

Liz said...

Thank you, been doing that. He says he was sure he was dead, but there isn't a scratch on him. His BP went thru the roof tho. So he got checked at the ER.

Queen of West Procrastination said...

Oh, Liz! I'm so relieved that your husband is okay. That is so terrifying. (And big hugs for you, by the way. My parents and sister were in an awful car accident two years ago, and after it was clear that everyone was going to be okay, I got a little weak in the knees, thinking about what ALMOST happened.)

kathy a. said...

Oh, Liz -- how awful! Very very good he is ok. xoxo

Anonymous said...

Liz, so glad he is ok!!!!
--NL

Sue said...

Oh no Liz! I'm glad to hear that hubby is okay. What a terrible fright!

Liz said...

Gonna give it up on awards this week. Sorry. What with the accident and not having the tree up yet, I'm without resources

kathy a. said...

No problem! Thanks for hosting, Liz -- hope your beloved is OK, and that the tree goes up!

xoxo

Liz said...

Tree is up, but unlit.

Queen of West Procrastination said...

Thank you so much for hosting, in the midst of ask this, Liz. Well done getting your tree set up!