Monday, December 1, 2014

My Kingdom for Some Alone Time

Let's review, shall we?

Last Monday: no school for Mini. Fun with Mama helping the church ladies.
Tuesday: whole family on the road
Wednesday: at grandparents' house, with aunt/uncle/cousin
Thursday: all those people plus some more cousins
Friday: Sweet has fever, back home with 4 of us
Saturday: Sweet to the doctor, gets a SHOT, home all day with all 4 of us
Sunday: work in the morning, a blessed one hour drive away. Then, home all day with the 4 of us.
(Insertion to much was I looking forward to a day of peace and quiet in my own house, just me?)
Sunday night: Sweet has fever again. Can't go to school with fever.
Monday: back to the doctor. Ear infection.


'Tis the season.


kathy a. said...

Oh, Esperanza! That sounds like a whole LOT of all-together-now family time. Hope Sweet is feeling better, but am at a loss about why the SHOT didn't take out the developing ear infection, too.

So far, I've done the mam, the pap, and grocery shopping. Now, hope I can get some of the worky stuff done.

bad nonnie mouse said...

Help! Bad thought alert!

Blah blah, these relatives decided I'm persona non grata, which is OK in theory because when they speak to me, it is generally about my failure to meet their expectations (perfection, as defined by them), or about what I am "not allowed" to say / think / feel. One should not feel hurt about the loss of hurtful people, but still working on that.

I am also not allowed to hear anything about a young relative who went to college this fall, or get his/her address so as to send a care package for finals. And, was not allowed to hear that he/she was going home for Thanksgiving, where I could have sent a package anyway (thus permitting the full parental inspection for imperfectness, without needing to resort to skype).

I mean... Last I heard, care packages were still welcome in dorms. Even if the recipient doesn't like stuff that is in it, somebody else will.

Liz said...


kathy a. said...

AW: Some time ago, we got a gift of an automatic moving light thing for cats. Which we naturally decided was stupid, so we never used it. Until the past week -- and oh my stars and whiskers, is this thing ever popular with all 3 cats, who go darting around in a hilarious manner, and look disappointed when we turn it off and they no longer hear the clicking of the shifting light source.

esperanza said...


kathy a, I had the same question. He said the penicillin wouldn't take care of the ear infection. Beats me.

I survived today. Mr. E came and rescued me for about an hour.

W: I am expected to come up with Christmas lists for me and the Baboos. I got nothin, especially for myself.

kathy a. said...

Oh, we can help, Esperanza! Baboos are easy, so we'll just skip them for now. You need something like coupons -- DINNER FOR 4, and MOM'S DAY OFF, and EVENING BABYSITTING, and BABOO SUPERSHUTTLE, and 3 HOURS OF QUIET SANITY. No problem if everyone signs up for all!

W: stupid mailman tossed a box heavily marked FRAGILE over the fence, and my dog chewed off the end to eat a burst glass jar of chile sauce and munch the bubble wrap. We had a very exciting $46 vet visit that basically advised pumpkin to slow the anticipated Major Intestinal Action, and waiting and seeing.

Tomorrow, my beloved postal service is gonna get a piece of my mind about this incredibly stupid mailman.

Queen of West Procrastination said...


W: I've hit the point of sickness where it feels like I've been sick forever, and I'm just exhausted.

I got worse over the weekend, especially after I had a massive panic attack/crying fit, after Li'l E smashed a really specifically special memento of my SIL, a few days after the anniversary of SIL's death. I'd just been making supper (and was already thinking about SIL), and I guess Mr. Q had let E play with this thing (since it was technically E's: SIL's parents gave it to her for her first Christmas, because she's sort of SIL's namesake). He wasn't paying attention to her, and then I heard a crash and walked into the living room, and seeing this thing in pieces just broke me. It was just a little too symbolic to have the physical reminder of SIL to be suddenly gone, just like she had been suddenly gone.

It just really hit me hard, and I was a mess for the rest of the day, and that must have exhausted me so much that I made my cold get worse. Grief is a weird, sneaky thing. You think you've moved past it, and then something unexpected makes it all fresh again.

AW: I'm getting past this now. We decided that it is actually possible to replace the special thing, and we've found a suitable replacement. And I finally have Mr. Q on the same page as me, in terms of being a bit more careful with E (and not giving her access to breakable things, since she plays so rough still). Sometimes he forgets how little she is.

kathy a. said...

((( QWP ))) Hope you are feeling better. It is really a shock when things that mean a lot get broken -- and you are feeling the loss of your SIL pretty deeply right now, to begin with. Yes, grief is sneaky and mean. xoox

Sue said...

Hugs, love, and wishes for "esperanza time" coming your way esperanza.

Lists are tough.... do you need anything for your hobbies like supplies or pre-paid classes? How about gift certificates for books you can order online (seriously, books delivered right to your door is something my mother would have LOVED).

((((BNM))) *sigh* I just don't get it.

kathy a - I'm chuckling about the kittehs playing with the flashy light toy. But OMgoodness, that's awful about the poor pup. Stooopid postal worker!

(((QWP))) I'm sorry the special memento was broken - that's so hard. Your love for her is unbreakable, but you know that. Sending love and hugs.

When our boys were wee, I spent so much time sick with colds and ick it was ridiculous. What I didn't catch from being around the school I would pick up at the hospital where I worked. From Sept to June every year we were Snotville. Will it help if I say it gets better? Eventually your body says "Phooey on you viruses!"

AW: Taking today off for a visit to the gym and some Christmas shopping. Yay!

Liz said...

Sending love and hugs and tissues to QWP. It's hard to be sad AND sick at the same time. If you can (and I know it's difficult with a toddler, so don't take this as yet ANOTHER thing), treat the illness as your body's way of saying, "I need rest, and I need tea, and I need you to love me like you love your toddler"

Coze in for a landing with your kiddo with some time wrapped up together on the couch watching silly holiday specials (IT'S NOT SCREEN TIME IF IT'S A TRADITION) and eating comfort food.

Liz said...

Sending love and alone time to Esperanza. Would a gift certificate for a cleaning service give you less stress or more? Would a week of meals delivered be something you'd want? A gift certificate to Amazon or other online retailer, so you don't have to decide RIGHT NOW what you want?

For the kiddos, I've been recommending kid's cameras, these wooden castle blocks, and Suspend by Melissa & Doug.

Liz said...

Sending love and pumpkin (I've got a whole big one we never carved from Halloween) to Kathy. Gah. I can't believe how irresponsible that Postal Worker was.

kathy a. said...

I happened to have a spare can of pumpkin in the cabinet -- delicious, nutritious, helps make a nice sauce or soup -- and you never know when you might need an emergency pumpkin pie or dog treatment. Pumpkin should definitely be in the Apocalypse Box (earthquake, snowstorm, flooding, hurricane, tornado, trapped on a desert island after a 3 hour tour).

kathy a. said...

Field report -- I put my bright bold large-font letter to the postman inside one of those plastic 8.5 x 11 things meant to fit in a notebook, and sealed the open edge with clear packing tape, and stuck it on my gate with a giant clippy. And with the first big rain in a long time, I can report that the plastic cover thingy leaks!

Not bad enough to obscure the message, yet. I'm hoping the neighbors drift by to see the big yellow message. There is also a small, well sealed note on a magnetic backing, on the mailbox.

esperanza said...

I did not know that tidbit about pumpkin. Does it do the same for people?

((QWP)) I feel ya. I got unreasonably (by some peoples' measures) after I returned home Sunday to find that Mr E had allowed the Baboos to unpack the Christmas decorations by themselves. There are still several pieces missing, and one poor beheaded Joseph. Some of the things were my grandmother's. Obviously more valuable to me than anyone else. Sigh. It's hard.

New mantra "It's not screen time if it's a TRADITION." Thanks, Liz.

Thanks for the suggestions on the Christmas lists. Figured out some things for Baboos. Myself...well, hmm. Thinking of asking for more pottery classes. We (at my and my brother's instigation) have made huge strides in downplaying the gifting at our family Christmas, but that has put pressure on every gift to *mean* something. Worth it, on balance, I think.

AW: both Baboos at school today. Sweet was excited--in her understated way, but a Mama can tell--to be back at kindergarten. I got some shopping done. Two almost-new pairs of jeans at the thrift store for a total of $15.

Liz said...

Esperanza, ask for classes. Ask for things that will TAKE YOU OUT OF THE HOUSE. ALONE.

That is you time, and you need it. It is SCHEDULED you time. It's PAID-FOR you time. And, alas, that means it's more likely to be respected by others.

kathy a. said...

Yes, pumpkin is "binding" and "bulking" for humans also.

The dog is mildly uncomfortable and man, does she have gas. This is probably the chili sauce; gotta keep watching.

The mailperson came by, and I hope he is shamed.

KLee said...

I am so sick. I have a respiratory infection and/or chest congestion that is kicking my tushie. My back hurts from coughing.

Offspring got into a fender bender here at the mall on Black Friday. Rent-a-cop who took the call basically scared the ever-loving crap out of her and made her cry. It did not help matters that she got a speeding ticket on the way back to school. Now, she's paranoid about driving. Oy.

I'm ready for a nice long Christmas break.

kathy a. said...

KLee! Hope you are feeling better!!

But as a parent of someone who had 2 crashes with airbag deployment in 2 months at age 18 (totalling the car we had just fixed the second time), I sincerely think there is an up side to driving paranoia.

My other does not have such driving distinction on her record, although she once slightly rear-ended the chief of police on the way back from jury duty, and cried so hard she didn't even get a ticket.

Sue said...

(((KLee))) Ugh. Feel better soon. Sorry to hear about daughter's driving paranoia, but as kathy said, a bit of extra caution isn't so bad.

kathy a. said...

Must buy lots of stamps....

AW: It rained really hard all night! All good for the drought. W: Except we seem to have a minor skylight leak. AW: it's in the kitchen, drips delicately on vinyl flooring only.

esperanza said...

First mammogram: done. No big deal.

The not wearing deodorant thing, though...that was more of a big deal. And then, as I entered the building, the electricity went out and stayed out for about 45 minutes. Super glad it didn't happen *during* the mammogram!

kathy a. said...

Yay, esperanza! Boo, power out!

esperanza said...

AND, I thoroughly scrubbed the master bathroom, though it be teeny tiny, today. Feeling productive.

kathy a. said...

Well, there was a huge downpour and my doorbell rang, and by the time I got presentable, the mailperson was booking it down the street. He left a note about a certified letter from SIL's former facility -- the place that created an emergency so we had to move her quickly. Ima guessing they want last month's rent. Grr.

Sue said...

Yay esperanza for your first mam and having a productive day!

I'll second that Grrrr....kathy. I would be tempted to withhold any payment and see what happens. They do not deserve to be paid after what they did to your SIL and to you and hubby.

kathy a. said...

We didn't pay. I suppose their position is that we left voluntarily; but ours is that we were forced to act quickly, since they started talking "discharge" and would give no timeline, and also they fireplacing LIED to us about having a plan awaiting approval. Nothing in the contract allowed them to do that kind of thing.

It would be better if we knew what the letter said.

KLee said...

I am feeling better today, thank Dog, but I still can't shake this cough. Now husband has caught it. At this point, I'm considering buying stock in the "whatever-Quil" area.

I'm not worried about Offspring's driving -- this is the very first time that she's ever had any sort of trouble driving, and she's been driving since she was 15. (she'll be 19 in a month.)

She, however, is totally freaked out, and that does make me optimistic that she will watch the speed when she returns for Christmas. Unfortunately, I taught her to drive, and she gets her lead foot honestly.

I am slowly getting the Christmas shopping done while she's not here, and we plan to put the tree up this weekend. The tree always brings out some of my happy, so I'm looking forward to that.

Sending thanks to all who've helped me through the last few months.

esperanza said...

Glad you're on the mend, KLee. The cough, she lingers, eh?

Queen of West Procrastination said...

Quick thing, for those who pray or send positive thoughts: my friend's older brother is missing. He left a suicide note. The police mentioned some possibility of a cross-country road trip, but I've seen this thing before (a little too recently), and I have a lot of doubts about that part.

You guys. I'm not really processing this information.

kathy a. said...

((( QWP ))) Sending much love. xoxox

esperanza said...

Oh, QWP, how awful. I'm so sorry.

Liz said...

(((QWP))) Hoping he changes his mind. Hoping he gets help. Hoping.

Sue said...

(((QWP))) Sending hope and prayers...

Queen of West Procrastination said...

W: and the news gets worse today. Not only is C still missing, but another member of that tiny, close-knit church group has fireplacing cancer. They're all part of the support network we had, back when we lived on The Island. All I can do out here is send supportive messages and pray.

Sue said...

W: I am so grumpy this morning. Saturday is our fireplacing xmas tea which, as you can see, I fireplacing love. Not.

No one is in the office on Thursdays which is fine, but it isn't 9:30 yet and I've fielded calls already about stoopid tea-related questions... "Are there any trays for the baking that's going on the bake table?" Don't know. Don't care. "Has anyone brought in pickles yet?" Don't know.

Do. Not. Care.

Seriously, these are days when I wonder if my gender makes a difference. If I were male, would the questions go unasked and in their place the comment,"Oh, it's just tea business, I'll call the convenor."


esperanza said...

Stop answering the phone this morning.

Down with stoopid tea related questions.

QWP, so sorry again. Deep peace to all of you.

kathy a. said...

Oh, QWP. How awful. xoxo

Sue, they know someone else is in charge of this, right? But yeah, pretty sure the gentleman holding your position do not have to deal with tea questions.

Queen of West Procrastination said...

Yup, I think it's time to start screening your calls today. Change your voice mail message to include, "If this is a question about the tea, please contact the convenor at..."

W: this day has gone from melodrama to farce. I spilled laundry detergent all over Toddler With Sensitive Skin. All over her. And I sometimes have to re-rinse her clothes, so that she doesn't have too much contact with detergent.

AW: well, that's one way to get a shower before the afternoon!

kathy a. said...

QWP -- stuff happens. It just does. Hopefully the shower will work just fine!

W: new cat started peeing on the floor in front of her litter box. Need mat for emergency soaks. Need fewer litter boxes -- 3 in one office is a lot, right? But not now, since apparently We Have Issues even with a clean box.

Liz said...


Sue, I agree with the advice to screen your calls, and to change your voicemail.

But I also think if people get huffy about it, that you should ask, nicely, "If I were Reverend Sam, would you be asking me about the tea trays?"

Sue said...

(((QWP))) I mid-day shower isn't such a bad thing, right? :)

Sorry to hear about the litter box issues kathy a - boy, do we know about those. Our Big Boy cat had his troubles, he did.

The Powers That Tea came into the church around 11:00 and created some order out of the chaos.

W: One of my dear congregation members is in hospice. I knew it would be soon, but dang, it's harder than I thought it would be. He is such a special man. I went to see him, prayed with him and his partner, anointed him with oil, shared communion. Now I feel entirely wrung-out - so much so that I can't even manage the gym today. Bleh.

kathy a. said...

((( Sue ))) I'm so sorry you are losing this person who means so much. It is a privilege that you could share this with them, at what must be a devastating time. xoxo

But, still sucks, and you get to do anything you want all the rest of the day.

esperanza said...

Oh, Sue. That's hard. And it didn't even get you out of the tea?

kathy a. said...

Updates: [1] the dog seems fine, despite eating glass and chili sauce; and [2] the postal person investigating the case of fragile things thrown over the gate has asked us to keep the box for inspection, and he'll visit the box tomorrow. It's like CSI, egregious postal errors division. ;)

Tomorrow will be amazing -- breakfast with a colleague in the a.m., and Molly Ivins (played by Kathleen Turner) with a friend in the p.m. A girl just usually does not usually get that much excitement in a day.

Sue said...

That sounds like an exciting day kathy! Glad the pup is okay.

Queen of West Procrastination said...

Kathy, I'm so glad your dog is okay. And I'm really interested to hear what the postal investigator does.

So many hugs for Sue. And a mullet nomination for "Powers That Tea."

AW: I have a two year old!
W: I have a two year old.

(Today was tiring. One of those days where, when Mr. Q gets home, I'm twitching and I just hand him to kid, saying, "Here. She's yours now.")

AW: a shipment of tea arrived! Seriously: a massive box, from my favourite shop. They has a big sale for Cyber Monday, and a bunch of friends and I combined an order, to get the free shipping deal. I'm about to try a new flavour of tea!

kathy a. said...

Seconding the mullet for Sue!

I am waiting for the postal person to come take this decomposing package. "Sometime in the next few hours" is not the most solid timetable, especially a few hours in.

KLee said...

QWP, I am so sorry! I am praying for the best outcome possible for your friend's brother, and hoping they manage to get to him in time.

esperanza said...

Yeah, awards aren't going to happen this week. But we won't forget Sue's mullet. :)

Keep on whining.

kathy a. said...

Oh, Sue's tea must be over!

More hugs for QWP. xoxo

Molly Ivins -- I just loved her columns, and she makes just as much sense today as when she wrote the ones 20 years ago. The show was good, even though for me, it was a recap of some of her best lines (and then some extra) -- but being a reader, mostly, I picture her in my head a little differently.

I cannot say enough about having a meal with someone you have known a long time; someone who knows some backstory.

Liz said...

Just got off the phone with a dear friend who just found out that his surgery to have a malignant kidney removed didn't get it all. Cancer all over. Hospice coming.

Fireplacing cancer.

I am distraught.

kathy a. said...

((( Liz )))) I am so sorry. xoxoxo

esperanza said...

Oh, Liz. I'm so sorry to hear that.

KLee said...

Oh, Liz. So, so sorry. I fireplacing hate cancer.

Sue said...

(((((Liz))))) I'm so sorry.

Liz said...

Thank you.

Anonymous said...

--Neighbor Lady

kathy a. said...

xoxo Liz and friend and friends.

Tiny first world W of privilege: Beloved and I had an exciting time shopping at Tar-Jay, running up a $200 tab. Both his credit cards were denied and *suspended* by the respective bank fraud units. The checker said next time, he should "call ahead for approval." $200 is not really that huge, is it?

esperanza said...

I don't know, but I'm guessing that every credit card company is running pretty tight controls on Tar-Jay, given their recent security debacle. $200 might get flagged there but not at another store.

W: Sweet sick (tummy bug) with the third different illness in 9 days. Can anyone say "overworked immune system?"

kathy a. said...

Poor Sweet. xoxo

You're probably right about the security breach. I'm advised that I was a tad snappish with the checker, whose fault it wasn't -- but I kinda wish they warned customers *before* the credit card gets denied and suspended.