Monday, October 6, 2014

Wednesday Whining - Marriage Equality is now a reality in 30 states edition

No whines here. But I think I may need to buy some new dresses if I am doing the math right.

Also, I put this up for us to whine on, but may not be able to do awards. Awards are up for grabs for anyone who wants to do them.


kathy a. said...

Sometimes, a "no" is really a big victory! SCOTUS said no to those who would deny gay marriage. And I think the battle is all done, but for perhaps some last grumbles. YAY!

kathy a. said...

W/AW: Big thing needs to get done pretty quick, but it is coming along. And have got the help needed all lined up.

AW/W/AW: The window replacement people are coming Wednesday -- pulling out the ancient windows, popping in the new -- all in one day! But this requires all furniture to be moved 3 feet from windows, and also the cats are going to be mighty freaked about the process. Some big pieces moved already; battle plan for the rest.

kathy a. said...

Y'all can start placing bets on whether the installers will actually show on Wednesday, considering QWP's whine of late.

esperanza said...

AW: 10.5 hours of sleep last night (somewhat interrupted); EPIC 3.5 hour nap this morning after Baboos went to school.

W: All this to offset the 4 hours of fitful, interrupted, too tired sleep Saturday night. I was helping out at a hubby's-church-related thing. Work wasn't hard, company was amenable, hours sucked.

Queen of West Procrastination said...

I am living vicariously through the sleep Esperanza got, although I'm not envying your Saturday night.

Kathy a, I'm crossing my fingers that your workers show up as expected.

Liz, how are you feeling?

W: a certain household toddler has discovered that pot lids make excellent (and extra noisy) cymbals.

Miranda said...

I have a chunky business meeting tomorrow night and it involves grandstand era and a long running hostility between a committee member and a staff member (who also is a committee member) and it is playing so that the things are not getting accomplished. My minister and I had a long chat on Sunday because otherwise this issue will turn up again during the budget process which is already my least favorite time of the year. the draw back of our organization is that we don't have have a centralized structure of governing body beyond the congregation.

I have meetings from 11-4 with nary a potty break on Wednesday. I will be attending from home which helps but it's a long time to be glued to my computer. Thursday is not much better.

AW: the kitties are exploring more. The one wants pets with his breakfast. I'm off Friday and Monday. My house is nearly clean. I maintain appropriate interpersonal boundaries if it angers others.

Sue said...


Appendages crossed for timely arrival of workers on Wednesday kathy.

Hope you're feeling better Liz!

Ah sleep - that elusive and divine gift. Yay for anyone who enjoys it, and naps for those who haven't spent much time in dream-land recently.

I hope your chunky meeting goes well Miranda. It's good you can attend from home.

W: Our admin assitant is away for two weeks. That is not the whine. The whine is that she left without putting the garbage out. I walked into the kitchen this morning to put my lunch away and Whoa - pretty ripe in there.

I sound like a diva, but bear with me. Sunday kitchen duty is entirely out of my hands. Other people (ie admin asst) volunteer so that I don't have to think about things like making coffee and taking out garbage on a Sunday morning. It's been that way for 13 years.

Ew. Stinky chunky building this morning.

Liz said...

I'm feeling better, but still exhausted, thanks, QWP!

Part of the exhausted is that I'm having to deal with my father who is pulling passive-aggressive bullpucky.

We are having other issues, and in the middle of having those issues, he had a business trip that brought him to near-by major city (where near-by is 30 minutes away by car with the mythical no traffic). His business trip left him with one evening free: a Sunday night.

He wanted us to have dinner with him, extending the invite to me and MM (and not MS, because of issues and p-a bp).

Well, Monday mornings come early here, MM had a quiz first thing that particular Monday, and I told my dad it would have to be another time. And that, oh, btw, I could tell he's still pissed at MS and I'm not going to be the go-between on that, please call him to work it out.

He says, oh! too bad, and why would I think that he's still mad at MS? He's just disappointed and puzzled.


So yesterday, my son gets a postcard in the mail from my father that has a picture of Large Train Station in the Nearby City and says basically, I'm sorry I missed having dinner with you when I was in town, but your mom wouldn't let you come on a school night.

MM, upon reading this, rolled his eyes, made a disgusted sound and threw away the postcard. "What's up?" I asked. "Grandpa is blaming you for not bringing me to see him on a school night. School nights happen"

Which, YAY! My son sees through passive aggressive bullpucky!

But BOO! My father is ruining his own relationship with my son to get back at me.

So now I've got to talk with my dad about how this shit is not acceptable and please grow the fireplace up, my 12 yo is acting more mature than you and you're 76.

Liz said...

Wow that was long.

Liz said...

QWP the pot banging phase seems long but is shorter than it seems. Ear plugs are a good investment.

Miranda, yay for good boundaries!

Sue, ew stinky trash!

Esperanza, yay for good sleep! Boo to stressful Saturdays.

kathy a. said...

Oy about the chunky stuff, Miranda.

Liz, glad you are feeling better, but yikes about dad. That's pretty p-a of him. Plus, seriously? Your husband's not invited at all?

Sue said...

(((Liz))) Ick. P-a stuff is awful. So glad MM sees through it though.

W: Ok, now I'm getting frustrated. I just spoke with my colleague who filled in (pulpit supply)when I was at chunky meeting. Pulpit supply is supposed to be paid on the day of the service, along with a thank you card for helping out.

Colleague has not been paid and admin asst is gone for two weeks. So, I've contacted the finance person who will make sure it's done, but this just shouldn't happen. Even worse, this is the second time this colleague has had to call me about delayed payment.


Liz said...

Just got off the phone with dad.

He said, "oh! I'm sorry MM thought I was saying that! I'll call him and tell him he's just imagining that!"


I said, no, you won't. He wasn't just imagining that. If you really were just saying that you were sorry that you only had a school night free and you miss him, you could have said just that without bringing me into it at all. You are absolutely NOT allowed to pretend that this is all in his head.

Don't pretend you are not angry with me for refusing to be drawn into [issues].

Him: "I'm not angry with you!"
Me: Are you sure? Because I'm feeling a lot of anger from you about [issues].

Blah blah blah back and forth. Me calling him on lies.

I am so sick of this shit. He is not allowed to do to my kid what he did to me as a kid. I will not let him tell my son that what my son knows is real is in my son's head. I will not let him make my son crazy to protect his worldview.

Liz said...

Oh Sue, that sucks.

I'm bringing out the cluesticks for the church folks who should've made sure that didn't happen even once, much less TWICE.

Sue said...

Good for you Mother Bear Liz!! We will back you up with all the cluesticks needed to stop the p-a behaviour.

kathy a. said...

Sue, pee-yeuuwww, about the trash!

QWP, I seem to recall hiding the super-loud kitchen drumset items, and steering toddlers toward the tupperware and such. Also, she might like a shaker -- put a bit of beans or rice in a plastic bottle or container with a lid, and voila!

The cats are anxious because of all the furniture moving, vacuuming, etc. In feline legend, these are signs of the apocalypse. Anyway, need to be sure the workers (if they show) don't work on the front room and my bedroom at the same time, since those contain the primary hidey-holes.

kathy a. said...

Oh ((( Liz ))). Good for you! My kids had extremely limited exposure to my mom, because the toxic did enough damage to the intervening generation. xoxo

Sue, how very frustrating. Is something going on with admin asst.?

Liz said...

9th Circuit!!

Anonymous said...

You and I might be long-lost siblings. That all, sadly, sounds SO familiar!!!! Hugs and cluesticks to you. And, I might just borrow some lines from you when my parents come visit this weekend!

Sorry you are still going through this bullpucky.

Yay for kids who are more mature than their grandparents!!!!!
(but also, boo that it is this way)

Neighbor Lady

kathy a. said...

OMG! I've actually been following this issue in the 9th, AND I GOT MY GOOD NEWS HERE, FROM LIZ!

Hi, NL! So sorry -- cluesticks ready if needed. xoxo

Liz said...

NL, hugs and solidarity.

Got off the phone with my sister. She really helped to clarify some things for me and to separate them out into categories and then ask myself, what do I want the outcome to be and how much effort am I willing to put into that outcome?

Am I, for example, willing to dig it all up and put it all out there on the table and get my dad to look at it and deal with it? If so, I need to be ready to then try to have a closer relationship with him and, as my sister put it so well, do I really WANT that?

I love my sister so much.

esperanza said...

W: 31 days of kindergarten have been "awesome." Today, when we needed to go directly from the pick-up line to the pediatrician for her annual checkup, she arrives at the car door in tears, with her teacher. She tripped and fell on the way to the car. Bloody knee, scraped elbow and hand. Today? Really, Universe? She cried through the whole appointment, even though she got a pink bandaid for her knee.

kathy a. said...

Oh, poor Sweet! Sending more bandaids, kisses, and ice cream.

And Liz -- your sister is a keeper.


esperanza said...

Also, I am the Meanest Mama In The World and made her go ahead and get the flu shot. Might as well not mess up another perfectly good day, was my thinking. And you know, let's not get the flu. They both have to have the injection because the nasal mist isn't approved for anyone who's ever had asthma symptoms ever even one little time. Mini threw an epic fit (and man is she strong), then when the shot was done she instantly calmed down and said, "oh! That's it? It didn't hurt very much!" Sigh.

I too, think your sister is very wise, Liz.

Miranda said...

When Tween Son was Sweet's age, he had to get the flue shot ON HIS BIRTHDAY!!! It nearly ruined birthdays FOREVER and he STILL brings it up as proof evil exists in the world. He was also the kid who required 4 adults minimum for shots. He is still terrified but we can talk through the anxiety now. It's hard to parent through medical things. Hugs to you Esperanza.

I'm thinking I'm also a long lost cousin of Liz's since, wow, our families sound similar. Thank goodness you have a good sister.

Sue- it's 4 hours of work meetings (from home!!) followed by terse chunky business meeting. I'm the meeting chair person whicj means not at home and I still need to work out how to frame a few items.

Sue said...

Hi NL!!

Oh ick, Miranda. That's a LOT of meeting time, especially when followed by terse chunky business. Bleh.

Poor Sweet! Poor Mama (who is not mean at all).

Yay for your sister Liz!

kathy, admin asst has chronic job performance issues. She's been spoken to by the mucky mucks so many times, they know they're wasting their breath. I have no authority over her (ie, I can't let her go, that's a Board decision) so I just make the best of it.

Honestly, I don't think she wants to improve. The complicating matter for the Board is that she's a member of our church. Never again will we hire from within our membership. Bad. Idea.

kathy a. said...

Long day, Miranda!

Uck, Sue.

We are so ready for the window people -- blinds removed, furniture moved. It was close, because daughter didn't want to touch her room until this morning; and her bed needed moving, and you just would not believe how much crap is in that room, also.

kathy a. said...

The window people are here! The dog barked as a precaution, in case they were MAILMEN. The cats have gone underground. The crew has already put down floor coverings, and covered furniture. They're leaving my office alone until the rest is done, so this is my hidey-hole. ;)

kathy a. said...

And now we are at the place where they smash out the old glass, and take a steel saw to the supports in the 60 year old windows. Noisy! But bonus points for neatness.

I've had to close doors to the outside a couple times, to prevent feline escapes, but think they've got that routine now. (We'll see how many cats we can find tonight. They are all invisible now.)

Miranda said...

Yay for new windows!

esperanza said...

I will have to say that your window replacement team sounds much neater than mine. Floor coverings? Impressive.

kathy a. said...

Sue, just kind of hate it when someone you have to work with is not pulling weight, nor very interested. Also awkward when there is a power disparity; think you are taking the high road, which is great.

But the whole congregation depends on the tasks that are hers. It makes the congregation look bad (and isn't fair to the fill-in preacher) when he shows up and does his job and isn't paid. It affects other people when other jobs aren't done (not just you). My fat 2 cents.

kathy a. said...

This team is neat! But I think the poor sweet scardy cats have chosen to hunker under the bed -- putting aside any differences they might have -- and they are probably having joint feline heart attacks, because the removal part of the operation is LOUD.

Wet food for everyone, once this is over. My poor kittehs....

kathy a. said...

All done. Looks good. The brave and handsome Spot came out for some rubbing.

The care facility for SIL called, and the psychiatrist just upped the dose of one med (OK), the frequency of another (maybe not OK). We're a little worried about overkill, here, since she seemed much more manageable on Sunday -- my sweetie could even take her out for lunch, which hadn't happened in at least a couple months. Guess we'll see how that goes. The fireplacing doctor will not interact with us directly. Staff does, though.

Sue said...

Yay for new windows and neat workers!

I hope the meds adjustment goes okay kathy.

You know that episode of S$infeld where everyone loves a movie (?English pt?) and Elaine hates it?? I just finished reading a Pulitzer winning novel that everyone - seriously, everyone - is raving about. It was torture. Hated. It. The next time someone asks me how I liked it, I may snap.

esperanza said...

Well what was it? I probably want to avoid it too.

kathy a. said...

Yeah, we need some good book-trashing around here! Or, book recommendations. Whichever.

Only 8 p.m., and ready to fall right over, but have to cover some windows with cheap muslin, because those Old Shades Have To Go Right NOW. Got the fabric; got thumbtacks; even have hem tape, although I promise you, the hem tape is not happening tonight.

On the up side, all cats accounted for, and the dog didn't make it very far down the street when someone left the gate open.

Sue said...

It was the goldfinch.

It wasn't just that so few characters had any redeeming qualities, or that there were pages and pages and pages of description about the brush strokes and shading on the painthing of the dang goldfinch - it was BORING.

I started reading The bone clocks last night - so far it's excellent.

Liz said...

Speaking of terrible books, I am slogging my way through Atlas Fireplacing Shrugged for my sins. It's assigned reading where "assigned" means the other team believes that that book is the holy fireplacing grail, so I've got to read it to be able to rebut their idiocy.

Dear Lord, how did this book ever get published? It's AWFUL.

kathy a. said...

Oh, yuck, Liz. Read that long ago; once was one time too many.

AW: a side benefit of replacing windows is that now we can replace shades. Like the fireplacing "blackout" shades my beloved put in our daughter's room 10-12 years ago, aiding in the destruction of her sleep cycle because the sun did not ever shine in there.

Sue said...

Oh Liz - how awful! I didn't make it through that book. Tried it, couldn't do it.

Yay for new shades kathy a!!

kathy a. said...

I have to be sure I'm the one ordering the shades, though. Not only did my sweetie do the misguided blackout shades, but the newish set in our so-called spare room is severely PINK. I kid you not. ~shudder~

esperanza said...

Your description makes me think of Moby Dick. There was a chapter in there about how big and white the whale was. We get it. Let's move on.

I just finished "Big Little Lies" by Liane Moriarty (of "What Alice Forgot" fame). Not as good as Alice, but still very gripping.

Ew. Pink shades are not good.

Queen of West Procrastination said...

Cluestick posse for the builder here, please. Upstairs Cousin (owner of the house) said the builder is threatening to sue them because he wants the last payment (the one held back until all construction is done). He's claiming it's all done and all that's left are warranty issues. You guys, we have no handrails. The house isn't up to code yet, and the garage only has half of its heater, and Cousin's closet is in disarray. He refuses to send anyone to finish until he's paid (but the remaining payment ess his only incentive to show up anyway). He doesn't want Cousin to talk with the project manager (I suspect it's because the PM knows how far the house is from being finished, and probably doesn't know how boss is lying about the job now).

We're not directly affected (we're just renters), other than fact that OUR STAIRS STILL LACK A FIREPLACING HANDRAIL. Cousin is exploring options with her lawyer. This is ridiculous, you guys. (Builder is clearly in over his head -- he tried to expand his company around when he started building this house, which why the job took so long, and why we kept getting the worst workers. He was dealing with twenty other houses at the same time, all unsold.)

kathy a. said...

Um, you need a handrail. If I'm understanding right, he is trying to extort you (or cousins, whatevs) PLUS get you to not talk to the project manager? Ahem.

If you know any lawyers, this might be the time to ask one to send a threatening letter. And maybe check out consumer protections, which I'm pretty sure exist in Canada, being a civilized country. ;)

OMG, my old friend is taking me to the theater in December, to see Kathleen Turner playing Molly Ivins in a one-woman show!!!! MOLLY! I didn't know there was such a show, being consumed with windows and albatrossi, but wow.

KLee said...

Ew! Having to read Ayn Rand gets a vote for some sort of Reading Torture award! I can't stand Ayn Rand, and not just because she has a ridiculous name.... I mean, you are an architect, and people want to change your building so you blow it up? Sounds more like a toddler tantrum than gripping literature to me!

Also can't stand "Moby Dick", much to my husband's chagrin. He considers it the best novel, bar none, and I am bored stupid by it.

I have run out of books right now, so I reread much of the "Outlander" series by Diana Gabaldon. Now, for those of you who may have avoided it due to the idea that it's a drecky romance novel -- it's so much more! Yes, there is romance, but it is much more character-driven and you really come to be invested in the characters. It also is historical, with lots of research into the 1700's, and the Scots Jacobite time era, and Scotland in general. If you really dig hen in kilts, there is the "Outlander" series on Starz. I recommend it highly.

I'm also retreading various books in my stash, including past raves of Patricia Cornwell, C.J. Sansom, and Steve Berry.

I really need to get the the secondhand bookstore.

My daughter is coming home next week, on my birthday! Looking forward to seeing her!

kathy a. said...

HULK SMASH. My incredibly stupid bank just shut down my credit card FOR THE THIRD TIME because of a payment to the window people -- the final payment I told them would be coming, when I went through this before in August. (round 2.) And I found out when I tried to buy $20 of groceries at a local market, a market I visit a couple times a week. (as they could see if they even spent a second looking at my activity.)

Got things cleared up with the fireplacing fraud people, in the phone tree, which didn't have an option to yell at a human. So then I went to and through the customer service phone tree, and yelled at a very nice representative -- someone so nice she said I wasn't yelling, and yes I have an excellent history and plenty of credit, and this should not have happened. So at least there is one competent person in this stupid fireplacing bank organization.

kathy a. said...

KLee, Moby Dick is better for its themes than for reading, IMO. An early Happy Birthday -- and yay about Offspring coming home for a visit!

esperanza said...

Oh brother, kathy a. Annoying.

On that front, you may remember an irate whine from 3-4 months ago about some difficulty I had with the customer service people, trying to get my oil changed. I visited again today, this time with a friend. Guy was very nice as he greeted me, took down my info, etc. *After* the service was complete, he was falling all over himself being nice, held the door for me to get in the car, etc. Friend says "wow, you must have an asterisk by your name. I have never seen such butt kissing!" So, I guess it pays to complain :)

AW: Did you see that? A friend! Not even a church friend! It's only taken 5 years in SmallTownVille, but I do believe I have a friend.

kathy a. said...

Yay, friends! And yay, when the business treats you right the next time around!

Sue said...

(((QWP))) Yes, you need a railing. It's lawyer time, as kathy indicated. Sheesh.

Moby Dick - Ugh. Just ugh.

I did enjoy "Big Little Lies", but you're right, esperanza, not as good as "Alice"

kathy a. said...

I read The Husband's Secret; thanks for the tip on Big Little Lies.

Another memorial for a colleague tonight, only 56. Sigh.

Sue said...

Sorry to hear about your colleague kathy.

kathy a. said...

The public memorials are at least happening a while after the shocking news of death; so there is more of a focus on celebration of life. Another one scheduled for next month. I last saw the both of them at the memorial for my dear friend S, a few months back.

kathy a. said...

And, Alaska! The federal judge ruled on a Sunday! The states are falling like dominoes in favor of marriage equality.

The memorial was lovely. And a chance to see friends, although we all swear we'd rather see one another some other way.

Going to start having coffee or breakfast regularly with a nearby colleague, who also works from home and has similar albatross issues. yay.

Sending along many hugs to all, and yummy platters of delicacies.

redzils said...

Alaska! Alaska! Alaska!

Our constitutional amendment banning same sex marriage was passed the year before I was old enough to vote and I've always been ashamed of it, for my state. It makes me so happy to see us back on the right side of history!

kathy a. said...

REDZILS! Yay for your state! Good to see you!

Liz said...


esperanza said...

Hooray for Redzils and Alaska! Good to see you here again.