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Monday, April 1, 2013

Because I think it may come in handy edition

Putting up a post now, 'cause I know at least two pixies could use it right this minute.

Important Note For Pixies: there are very few rules here at WW, but one that is getting short shrift is one we started with. To wit: this is a place for bringing your troubles, big or small, and letting a supportive community buoy you up with love and cluesticks. If you feel any guilt about whining here, you may whine about that, but there is no-one here judging you. Whining is what Wednesday Whining is for. Banish any feelings of guilt, or I will have to cluestick YOU. Comprende?

50 comments:

esperanza said...

I don't think I was the one you had in mind, but...

Loooong week last week, loooong day yesterday. Soooo looking forward to some downtime while Baboos at school today. Enter puking Mini, stage right. Now no longer puking, but all-body itchy rash. What the fireplace is that?

liz said...

Chicken pox?

esperanza said...

No, she's already had that! And the vaccine!

Upon further consideration, the rash could be her usual eczema + reaction to using a different sunscreen yesterday. Or too much Easter.

Sweet coming home from school has improved Mini's condition considerably.

liz said...

Food allergy? Glad she's feeling better.

esperanza said...

Food allergy is a possibility. We ate at someone else's house yesterday, so there's no telling what it was. She seems fine now.

Sue said...

Sorry about Mini's post-holiday pukeage and rash. That's rough.

AW: I'm off to see the doc who sticks somewhere around 30 needles in my head and then hears "Thank you!" She's lucky I don't hug her and try to adopt her.

I'll be thinking of y'all while I'm away. (Did you catch that? I said y'all. Pretty good, eh?)

esperanza said...

Very good, and correctly punctuated. Thank you. And I hope it is instantaneous relief.

kathy a. said...

glad mini's feeling better!

yay, sue! instant relief! give her a hug for us, eh?

kathy a. said...

SIL is still in safely in the hospital, and still upset. her wads of stuff are in storage now. my beloved had to go sign something so the current docs can talk to the big U docs; he's hoping she is asleep, given recent events.

our post office ran out of change of address forms. how is that even possible?

esperanza said...

check online for forms.

kathy a. said...

there is an online USPS form, but they want a credit card "for verification." SIL has no credit card or bank account. my name is similar enough (same first name; my beloved has the same last name as his sister) that i don't really want her name [or bad credit] to get mixed up with mine in any way. am i being too paranoid?

kathy a. said...

ok, that is a little paranoid. we're already having another round of name confusion, helping her again -- explaining the 2 kathy situation; and people tend to call me "ms. X" if they know my husband's name.

yesterday, the hospital gave her some mild meds to calm her down, and put her in some kind of mesh cage surrounding the bed. (i guess that is less intrusive than restraints?)

so, we were wondering where all her money went, seeing how she stopped paying the mortgage. then my beloved saw the huge walk-in closet filled with clothes, many unworn. and etc. she spent $800 cash on god knows what in her last 2 weeks at that house.

we are out more than $4000 so far, for the board + care she won't live at and moving/storing her stuff -- not to mention the time and angst, the 3 hour drives to and/or from her old place, the court appearance (another one friday), the 3 mental health evaluations + this current hospitalization, searching for a care home. i might be able to get money back from the care home, for the next move. but -- that's a lot of bucks. we'll be paying the conservatorship lawyer, too.

we know all this is because of her brain disease. but her really severe impairments just have not made her any easier to deal with, when she is not getting her way. and from here on out, she will not be getting her way on anything big.

i am really really glad that there is now a fairly substantial med/psych record that she is so severely impaired. getting the evaluators as much med /psych/ history info as i could is one of my missions; and it is helping.

esperanza said...

Sounds like you may need to start looking into SSI/Disability for her.

Mini's affliction was definitely a bug. (rash probably not related). Sweet succumbed last night, with worse consequences. She still has icky tummy and was up most of the night. As was I. Sigh.

kathy a. said...

as you can see, all this is making me kind of crazy and obsessed. it is making my beloved anxious and cranky. we pretty much have trauma responses from prior events with SIL.

somebody has to be the grownup, though. there is nobody else besides the ex (who, as previously mentioned, means well and is swiftly acquiring major clues). it is satisfying that each of us has a little something to contribute to an absolutely horrible situation. this is wracking my beloved, who wants it to go away but knows he is in the best position to keep her safe from the natural consequences of her own (not sane) choices.

i am so grateful for a safe place to vent, and for your support.

kathy a. said...

oh, no, esperanza! bug B gone. xoxo

esperanza said...

Thanks. Mini's bout was swift (~9 hrs, start to running-around-the-house). Sweet is working on 12 hours now and just put herself to bed, poor baby. Mini is "resting" in her room, and I'm about to pass out on the couch. So far Daddy and I are unscathed, though I will be sorry I typed that out loud, I'm sure.

Anonymous said...

Oh, ugh esperanza. Long distance hugs to you!
Sue, I hope you feel head relief soon!
((((kathy a)))) and no, I don't think you are being paranoid--just wise.
Hang in there!
:)Neighbor Lady

esperanza said...

Gave her ibuprofen when fever hit 104.5. That would be the highest # I've ever seen on our thermometer. Yikes. It stayed down and did the trick, thankfully.

High energy Mini is just about stir crazy. She can go to school tomorrow. I can't.

JenR said...

My little guy shared... So I spent Easter weekend not doing much, and enjoyed a couple bites of jello while everyone ate the dinner I prepped. Aw: they cooked, they cleaned up, they even did some laundry.

Huge aw: a friend's little boy just had heart surgery with not-so-great odds (but good enough to try - the alternative and fall back plan was open-heart). Success! And he's already home and running around. Amazing.

purple_kangaroo said...

Trying to figure out how to share this in a blogging-friendly way, since my actual name is all over the media right now.

We had an event occur at our house (because that's where the strangers involved happened to end up, not because of anything we did) that was extremely scary and dangerous, destroyed some stuff, but didn't kill anyone. The fact that nobody was killed is nothing short of miraculous, and is likely because one of the main things that got destroyed on our property was where it was.

We've been dealing with emergency personnel, news media, officials of various types, and way too many other people of all kinds for the last several days. I finally got a chance to sleep a little and eat an actual meal this morning, but things aren't back to normal yet, and won't be for a while.

AW: Nobody was killed! And the person who caused the issue was insured.

purple_kangaroo said...

I'm also really, really steamed at one specific news outlet that chose to publish WAY too many personal details, including about minors, that had nothing to do with the story and that they managed to figure out despite the fact that people refused to answer their invasive questions, along with the exact details about where those minors live.

Miranda said...

How awful p_k. I am so glad you and the family are okay and seriously will head up the posse to go cluestick the media.

Kathy, just so many hugs. For all of you.

We are going though significant organizational change at work. My boss and I have an oftentimes strained relationship. She vastly prefers my colleague, Golden Boy, because they have worked side by side for over 15 years and he is very, very smart. He is taking on a new (prestigious) role and will be leaving her side. I've decided to use this opportunity to be honest with her and identify ways we could work more effectively together. She and I have had several really productive conversations and I feel like we understand one another a bit better. She actually called me this morning to offer to buy me a breakfast sandwich she knows I like. Even though I am running behind schedule. I accept her peace offering.

esperanza said...

p_k, that sounds terrible. I'll join in the media posse, too.

Sweet is a new girl this morning. She said, "Yesterday was very not good." Home from school, just in case.

Hooray for improved work relationships, Miranda!

kathy a. said...

jenr -- such great news about your young friend's surgery! hope you are feeling better.

PK, how scary. glad everyone is OK.

miranda -- wonderful progress with the boss!

yay, sweet.

kathy a. said...

miranda -- it was really a positive thing to approach your boss with ideas about working better together. sounds like a non-threatening approach; you're not blaming; trying to start a discussion so that going forward, you can understand each other's perspectives. good good good work!

you have all this stuff with your family, too. wonderwoman, you are. :)

kathy a. said...

W: my sweet adult daughter is very depressed and anxious -- the not finding a job thing has been very rough. she woke me with a panic attack at 5:30 a.m., having not slept all night. her dad feels like this is happening because he failed her somehow (just how he feels if things go wrong for our kids). AW: she has agreed to go talk to my doctor tomorrow, see what the doc suggests. AW: i'm guessing my doc will suggest a mild anti-depressant, talk therapy, and some of the same other changes that her dad and i have suggested.

confession: i'm hardly even pretending to work right now. my major goal for today is getting this backup of dishes done, and continuing with TV rerun therapy. pathetic!

purple_kangaroo said...

BTW, we're asking people not to actually contact them and complain, since at this point we just want all the attention to die down so we can get our lives back.

esperanza said...

If it's any comfort, p_k, I live way across the country, and I have absolutely no idea what you're talking about. But I'm sorry it's causing you so much distress.

liz said...

((PK)), (Kathy A.), (Esperanza)

liz said...

Whine: my no guilt feelings note above seems to have stifled whining.

kathy a. said...

2 days ago, the hospital was saying SIL needed a skilled nursing home. yesterday, they were looking for a locked facility, and the only one in our county won't take her -- lack of a bed, and also her behavior.

the ex is lobbying to send her back to the board + care home where she had the meltdown. even if SIL was sufficiently calm (she hasn't been) she needs meds and this home is not staffed with an RN; and best case, she'll need more extensive nursing care in 6-12 months because of the degeneration.

the ex keeps talking about this alleged POA for health care, but he still can't find it. THIS would be a good time to have it handy, dude.

my beloved is feeling overwhelmed by all this and more. there is crankiness.

kathy a. said...

i'm the guilty-feeling whiner. thanks, liz and everybody. the saga is just insufferably long at this point.

the ex -- hold onto those cluesticks. by "lobbying," i mean that he has talked to the care home owner and had her call us last night; he has talked to SIL, and says she "wants" to go there now. he's telling my beloved it will work out fine, which is not what my beloved is seeing. call me a bitch, but i'm so not into what my SIL "wants" right now.

it'll be better once something gets settled on. i know the hospital wants to get rid of her before the weekend.

esperanza said...

oh, kathy. Gotta get the legalities taken care of pronto. If he can't find it within the next 24 hrs, I'd say, start the process of getting a new one, before she isn't even competent to designation a POA.

esperanza said...

Good Lord, my/our schedule next week. I had to cancel a jillion things this week because of pook and bark and other bodily fluids, and it all got pushed to next week.

If I'm counting right, Sweet has 7 therapy appointments or evaluations next week. And one regular one is canceled. For reals. It's just a bunch of things all happening at the same time so someone (her parents) can make a decision about school already. I am ready to be done; I can't imagine how she feels.

kathy a. said...

omg, esperanza! that is a LOT on your schedule. yikes. chocolate, pronto!

it is too late for a new POA. SIL is very much incompetent. the next legal process, the conservatorship, takes some time -- weeks, on an emergency basis.

my beloved and the ex decided to try her back at the care home. the docs agreed to a try. i'm just worried that next week will be a repeat of this week. sigh.

esperanza said...

AW, just because it's still making me happy several days later: a friend adopted a baby over Easter weekend. She's single, a bit older than me, a camp director, wonderful person. So happy for her. And the baby is, of course, adorable, and a blessed little girl.

kathy a. said...

AW: toasted english muffins with cheese melty on top. i think this is even better than cookies.

Miranda said...

AW: Excellent review.

AW: No meltdowns even though the kids are off this week and I have had to work like a fiend this week due to work stuff.

I read Roger Ebert's love note to his wife, Chaz, from last summer I think. I cried. The Eberts seem like a beautiful couple and now I'm sympathy mourning.

Send me party vibes: I'm turning 40 next weekend and I am throwing a big party which may have an ulterior motive or two (I want someone to meet my friends and someone seems pretty keen to meet them as well) but I have very little prepared for this and my budget was slashed due to medical expenses and camp fees. It will all be fine but others, including the someone above, have been stressing on my behalf out of concern and it makes me not like them much.

Miranda said...

Except, I know they mean well and I just need to put them to work.

Kathy, lots of hugs from me to you.

kathy a. said...

hooray for the baby and new family, esperanza! that is wonderful and happy news!

happy birthday, miranda! sending virtual cake and confetti and good party vibes -- we'll raise you a long-distance toast. it will be a great party! also, yay for your anti-whines.

purple_kangaroo said...

Huge flarrup, no surprise there.

kathy a. said...

((( PK )))

kathy a. said...

cluestick alert: today was SIL's court date on misdemeanors in her old county, 3 hours away. the court-appointed doctors say she is incompetent to even understand the charges (driving w/o a license). she wasn't there in court, because she is IN THE HOSPITAL for MENTAL REASONS. the judge issued a warrant for her, because she wasn't in court.

being a lawyer myself, here is my haiku:

i mean, wtf?
seriously, wtf?
the law is an ass.

kathy a. said...

* this haiku required me to replace "fireplace" with "fudge," or the one-syllable F word of your choice. sorry for breaking with the traditional lexicon. credit to shakespeare for the last line.

Sue said...

Oh no kathy a!! That is seriously fireplaced up. Seriously.

((PK)))

((esperanza)))

Sending advance party vibes Miranda!!

AW: Good appointment in the Big City. Yay!!

AW: Used the subway. Did not get lost.

Uber AW: Did NOTHING today as I've booked the rest of the week off. 'Twas lovely.

Sue said...

AW: Our youngest son turns 29 today. How did that happen so quickly?

kathy a. said...

yay, sue! headache demons B gone! plus, you're getting your subway chops.

these darned kids, getting older every year. LOL! ya done good, mama.

kathy a. said...

well, SIL moved from the hospital to the care home that she refused to live at a week ago. my beloved was only gone 9 hours. (these places are 1/2 hour from home.)

the ex lost the cat he was supposed to take to the care home, so he showed up 1.5 hours late. the cat didn't like being chased around, can you imagine? discharge took forever. had to go out to lunch. had to buy undies and fill a presecription. had to find the dang cat -- at which point, SIL started complaining that she wasn't going without all 4 pets. and so on.

i expected a phone call in the night, saying it wasn't working, but that did not happen. knock wood.

the ex keeps promising SIL the moon so she "feels better." he thinks she'll just forget. so, i asked if SIL was talking about needing her car back yesterday -- of course, she was; she always does. her car was impounded in september, and she cannot drive. she does not forget things she wants.

anyway, i wish the ex would quit doing that. SIL needs to be transitioning to a life where she is not issuing the orders, because she is just incompetent to make any important decisions. and if the ex thinks i'm going out of my way to keep any of those promises he's making, he has got another thing coming.

i am very grateful for the pixie support.

liz said...

Busy weekend, so awards not happening until tomorrow. I apologize.

Sue said...

Kathy, I so admire your ability to keep a level head and proper perspective through all of this. Hang in there and know that the pixies are here for you.

Liz. - no worries!