Monday, February 11, 2013

Open Season

Let the whines and anti-whines rip!

Don't forget, next Wednesday 2/20/13 at the Wednesday Book ClubWhat Alice Forgot, by Liane Moriarty, hosted by Sue.


JenR said...

Oh thank you... I needed this post to show up.

I just left my new house, where the floor guys discovered (after sanding about half the floor), that the floor is crap and them actually finishing might just make the floor look worse than when they started. So now I have a half-sanded floor and I need to replace it. Yipee.

And I was already panicking about money before this happened.

esperanza said...

Ack, JenR. I'm feeling a little panicked on your behalf!

W: have not started the book

AW: my denomination has actually listened to what people were saying and abandoned a bone-headed insurance idea.

W: I'm not under my denomination's insurance right now. Hubby's has not abandoned their somewhat-less-boneheaded idea.

AW: politics aside, new healthcare law is uber-helpful for Sweet and her situation.

W: stuffy head, scratchy throat. Gee, thanks, Sweet Baboo. You don't share your toys, but you share your cold. Really, you shouldn't have.

kathy a. said...

JenR -- first comment, and already prize-worthy. Half-finished floor, or completely finished but crappy!?!

The cheap me does quick fixes and hopes for better financial times ahead. (This is always our fallback.) The prudent investment sector of our household, however, decided that timely professional action was required for the leaking roof, the fence that blew over, the ancient huge dead trees that might have fallen on our house and/or the neighbors. And the "handyman" portion of my husband's identity has done a lot of less urgent jobs -- like replacing a bathroom that turned out to have rotted subflooring (downside: this took a loooong time), or replacing less urgent sections of fence.


kathy a. said...

esperanza, sounds like things overall are headed in the right direction, insurance-wise. especially good that things are better for sweet's situation!

W: work overload. concentration kaput. lower back pain.

AW: the next book is interesting, and very readable.

W: a good friend's wife, she's been doing really well; but they'll hear later in the week if her cancer came back. this would be grim, and the docs are not sounding encouraging. fireplacing cancer.

AW: found a perfect, gorgeous scarf for a dear colleague who is retiring!

AW: GS coooookies!

kathy a. said...

ok, this is turning already into one of those whiny weeks, again. daughter got an offer to go do training for a steady job that is not her ideal. but you know, decent income; something on the resume; it would no doubt provide skills; she's been looking for 14 months. both parents and her beloved grandpa actually did jobs related to this one.

and she's like, "this isn't really what i wanted to do" and "XYZ teachers told me i should take a job not for the money, but because i love it" and yadda ya. holy freakin' cow. apparently it is unhelpful if the MOM monster mentions all the craptastic jobs she did because they paid money and added to the resume.

i guess she is working this through. the yelling stopped, anyway.

Miranda said...

"Adult" children are really something.

liz said...

Was reading What Alice Forgot on the bus and sobbing. Thank goodness I don't give a hoot what people think of me when I do that.

Sue said...

JenR - so sorry about the floor! Can you leave it as it is and chalk it up to "eclectic decor"?

esperanza - I'm glad the healthcare is (sort of) sorting itself out. Bah to stuffy noses!

kathy a - we are living parallel lives. Our almost-30 son is back at school because the job of his dreams did not come knocking on his door.


Glad you are enjoying the book. You too Liz (I think). Sorry about the bus-tears.

W: I am having nightly reunions with Ye Olde Icebag.

W: A "discussion" with hubby yesterday when he knew I was hurting and offered this: "You shouldn't have eaten that chocolate marshmallow heart yesterday." (Don't worry, I let him live)

Of course I shouldn't have eaten the chocolate - it's a trigger. But I did! Because I had already been in pain for four days and I figured it couldn't get much worse.

In the end, we (calmly) discussed how my threshold for tolerating triggers drops significantly three months after my last treatment. Migraine disease is a neurological disorder. I did not cause it. It is what it is.

Are there ways to stay under that threshold? Yes. I'm working on it. Heck, I'm ALWAYS working on it.

AW: Lent starts tomorrow. I'm giving up refined sugar - including chocolate.

esperanza said...

oh, Sue. Sorry teh Headache is back.

Sobbing? There's sobbing? I believe I can avoid sobbing on the bus, as we have no buses here, which is a whine in itself.

kathy a. said...

oh no, sue. hope the head is feeling better.

i have not sobbed, but not sure how far along liz is. it is a riveting read.

liz said...

I'm 23% of the way through. And please know that your sobbing mileage may vary quite a bit from mine. I take after my sister who has been known to sob during Kleenex commercials.

liz said...

On a scale of 1 to 10, where 10 is the scene where Beth dies in Little Women, I'd give the scene I was weeping at in What Alice Forgot about a 5.

liz said...

(I actually wrote a post about the scene where Beth dies back in 2005).

esperanza said...

Ok, then I think I am past your sobbing point. I'd have to put Where the Red Fern Grows at the top of my scale, though.

kathy a. said...

oh, i'm past there -- about 3/5 of the way through. i reliably cry for student marching bands, and randomly depending on my mood, so my hypothesis is that the sobs are individual matters.

but there are SO many quietly striking moments in this book; so many things revealed in surprising ways. a lot to ponder.

JenR said...

Ripped out the flooring and found rotten subfloor in a bathroom. I .... I almost said I can't deal with this, but I don't have much choice, do I?

I forgot the part where my husband pulled some muscle moving the fridge (for the flooring people!) and is on prescriptions to help with the pain but is still struggling.

kathy a. said...

subflooring, bathroom. check. you'll probably find some problem with the way the toilet was installed.

the good news is that fixing the bathroom floor is probably not that terrible; unless your husband does it and has an artistic vision involving tile, in which case it might take 10 months and require a home tile-cutter. and the bathroom might feature a hole where the sub-flooring is supposed to be, for a while.

hope your hubby is feeling better soon! have some thin mints! xoxo

Miranda said...

I'm also giving up refined sugar for Lent and I can't find any Somoas for love or money. Lent starts tomorrow. Oh the humanity.

W: doing stuff for the youth group is not the same as offering to be the youth leader although I feel like I am being nudged in that direction.

kathy a. said...

i'm hiding a number of boxes of GS cookies [box of samoas is in stash], and can procure particular kinds for those in future need. just so you know.

liz said...

Finished the book last night.

kathy a. said...

will finish today.

kathy a. said...

bleah -- stuffy, feverish, cotton-brained.

daughter had another big meltdown, because when she called the job place back [1 day after they called], they said they no longer have openings. i feel so bad for her.

esperanza said...

ugh, kathy a. I feel you on the stuffy cotton brain. No fever. And sorry for your daughter's tough spot.

AW: two hour nap on couch this morning while Baboos were at preschool. Turns out resting really does make you feel better when you're sick. Who knew?

W: see above re: stuffy cotton brain. And cough.

Anonymous said...

Hugs to all the pixies with headaches or stuffy heads or fevers or needing rest!

I loved the book club read! Loved it! Had a hard time putting it down this weekend. Of course, the two plus feet of snow helped open up some time.

--Neighbor Lady

JenR said...

AW: My mom, who calmed me yesterday by saying "Eh, what's another $$$$? When you really need to get something done you should do it how you want it, not buy something cheap that you're going to hate." Since the price was less than half of the number she threw out there, I felt better. That, and it was her money I spent and it obviously didn't bother her at all (to pay back later - but I also felt guilty about borrowing it).

JenR said...

(Money spend on flooring - since subfloors + barefoot small children is not probably a good idea)

esperanza said...

ugh, JenR. I hate borrowing money from my parents. Hate it. But getting the floor fixed is good.

kathy a. said...

sweet of your mom, jenr!

my friend's wife found out her cancer spread. she had been doing really well, and the mets are small, but it is one of those bad cancers; so this means it is incurable. they are urging chemo, to give her more time.

Sue said...

kathy a - I'm so sorry about your friend's wife. Fireplacing cancer.

Borrowing is awful JenR, but at least you'll have a decent floor.

Yay for naps!!!

AW: I'm all set up for the first week of April to receive the Needles of Mercy in my head.

W: I will have a world of pain for a few weeks in March, but I really can't get to the City of the Big Smoke until April.

AW: When I'm hurting, the appointment on the calendar is a huge psychological boost. I can do this.

kathy a. said...

you can do it!

Anonymous said...

Going anonymous for this.

Son went for well-child visit. We were expecting tantrums about getting a shot but apparently that was a breeze.

The tantrum was over getting his privates checked.

I wasn't there, but he told me that he told his dad that his dad deserved to go to prison for letting the doctor look at his privates when my son had already said no.

When I got home, his dad went out, and I went online to print out forms that doctors are supposed to fill out at well-child check-ups, and showed them to my son. "See? They really do need to look at your t3stic13$."

I also validated for him that it IS his body and he doesn't have to let anyone look at or touch it, except that doctors really are supposed to, and as long as he's got a parent in the room too it's okay. But, no, no one should have made him.

"BUT, you doesn't really believe that your dad should go to jail, right?"






"So Daddy's feelings are really hurt."


"Here's the thing, kiddo. You KNOW you were wrong to say that Daddy should go to jail when he was trying to just let the doctor do what she needed to do. Yes, it's your body, and you don't have to let anyone touch it, but daddy thinks he was right, because the doctor really did need to look. And how horrible this world would be if everyone waited for the other person to apologize first."


"And I'll talk to daddy, too, and tell him that your feelings were really hurt too."

"He needs to apologize first"

"Remember that day when a few weeks ago, when you were being really mean to me, and I yelled really loudly at you right in your face, and you said I was scaring you, and I stopped and apologized right away. RIGHT AWAY. Even though you were the one who started it?"


"I was wrong to yell at you like that, and I apologized because I was wrong, even though you were wrong too. I apologized without waiting for you to apologize because I knew I was wrong, and it didn't matter that you were wrong."


AW: They are all better now, and his dad apologized too.

W: Turns out, there is some disagreement in the medical community over whether that check is necessary for people under 20, since the risk of what they're looking for is very low in children and children find it traumatic.

Anonymous said...

Arg, anonymous, that is so hard!
Hugs to you all.

(((Kathy a.)))) I'm so sorry about your friend's wife!

--Neighbor Lady

kathy a. said...

((( anonymous )))

gah, how awful and traumatic. i think you handled it well, so kudos! very much like the talk about apologies. and about how it is OK for doctors to look at privates (especially with a supervising parent).

but kids do better (especially our more sensitive ones) if they know about surprising things that might happen in advance. (like all of us.) which we might not even think about before it happens.

ya done good!

purple_kangaroo said...

Loved one with colon cancer--total surprise, found during routine colonoscopy. Diagnosis and surgery within the last couple of weeks. Thought it was stage I, but it turned out to actually be early stage III, in the 3 nearest lymph nodes.

Today had a CT scan. Got a phone call asking if feeling OK, any fever, eliminations normal, etc? Yes, everything fine, why?

Well, the CT scan people saw something concerning, but we don't know what it is. Trying to figure it out. Will let you know later, bye.

Turned out it was air bubbles. With the lack of symptoms, probably just trapped air from the surgery. But getting checked out tomorrow to make sure the incision isn't leaking.

Oncology appt next week to discuss decisions about next/further treatment options.

Fireplacing cancer.

purple_kangaroo said...

Argh, anonymous, it would totally upset me if someone forced that on my kid without giving the option for a parent in the room or at least letting parent discuss it first.

And, totally, Where the Red Fern Grows is my 10 on the sobbing while reading scale. Of course I read it as a preteen, so I'm sure that contibuted, but I don't think I've ever sobbed like that over another book.

And fireplacing cancer!!!!

purple_kangaroo said...
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purple_kangaroo said...
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purple_kangaroo said...

Also, I have a sinus infection. And I'm tired, at least partially because I stayed up almost all night reading What Alice Forgot in one sitting a few nights ago. :)

Oh, and middle sister got diagnosed with the same type of genetic connective tissue disorder my little sister got diagnosed with, by a different specialist. Who also says we probably all (the ones with symptoms in the family, at least) most likely have some variation on EDS, probably a more severe than normal version of Type III, with some vascular involvement. But since none of my generation are dead or almost-dead yet and we're in our early-to-late 30s, it's probably not full-blown type IV.

AW: There are apparently some newer genetic tests available, and they're running a bunch of them on middle sister and will use the results to narrow down what to test the rest of us for. It may be some combination of dominant and recessive genes, this specialist thinks.

purple_kangaroo said...

The deleted comments were me. Apparently I am unable to type coherently today. I think I fixed at least the most obvious nonsensicalities now.

kathy a. said...

((( PK ))) glad your loved one is healing well. crossing fingers the treatment goes well, too.

hope you are feeling better!

awards later.

Anonymous said...

Let me be clear: Husband was in the room with son while examination took place.

But son was UNHAPPY. He DID NOT WANT anyone to even look at, let alone touch, his privates. NO MATTER WHAT.

liz said...


kathy a. said...

I'm stuck on a theme for this week's awards. Suggestions?

esperanza said...

a theme? awards have a theme? How 'bout asteroids?

Sarah said...

Wow, such a week. I feel a roller coaster from all of the heartbreaking whines. Good luck!

AW: I read this book for my book club in November! So fresh enough that I can participate! yay! And I sobbed too. (But that may be because I am going through a divorce that I would have found unimaginable 10 years ago.)