Friday, September 30, 2011

On Top of Spaghetti.....

Many worthy entries this week, my friends!

The Style Award goes to Liz, whose son and hubby found this animated masterpiece to share!

There were some other long wiggly things in PixieLand, which we do not recommend for dinner. By general acclaim, Esperanza wins the prestigious Medal of Honor for Parental Performance Above and Beyond, for dealing with a fireplacing snake in the pool with her baby. Ack! Showing great courage, Esperanza demonstrated the grab, whack, and toss technique recommended by experts: grabbing a hoe, whacking that sucker to bits, and tossing it over the fence. Esperanza shall henceforth be known as The Mighty Slayer of Snakes. (hat tip, Elizabeth.)

In other heebie-jeebie news, Liz wins the Shower Scene of Horror Award for facing numerous spiders, including one up close and personal, in a small enclosed damp space. Ick! Kudos, too, for explaining her philosophy so clearly: "Better the dead spider you can see than the living spider you know is there somewhere hiding waiting to jump out and scare you. "

Despite this host's (minority-view) preference for vacuum disposal, even she must admit that the shower presents special challenges, not suited for the Hoover method. I confess to using the popular "smash" method as well, in crisis situations.

The shower is a dangerous place this week. Genevieve wins the Fireplacity Fireplace Award for slipping in the fireplacing shower and aggravating her fireplacing foot injuries. This award comes with hugs, a no-slip mat, and a prescription for putting the feet up, and having people fan you with palm fronds and deliver bon-bons. Glad that other things are better!

The coveted Elevated Risk of Mullet Award goes to Neighbor Lady, whose digestive complaints resolved but left her with unexpected weight gain: "And, also, curse you, you irresistable dark-chocolate-covered-pretzel-balls!!!"

The Three Dward Day Award goes to Sue, who not only experienced Sleepy, Grumpy, and Dopey, but also coined a new addition to the lexicon! (hat tip, KLee.)

Sue is also the recipient of the Belushi Award, for kinda looking like the Samurai Minister after that last treatment. But yay on vanquishing the headache monster!

Weather Whine Awards to Esperanza, who is looking for a big drop in temp, all the way down to 89 degrees; KLee, who is "ready for weather that does not involve so much sweating and icky-gross feeling"; and JenR, who reports rain rain rain wind, and "I just let my 3 year old play in a puddle until he was drenched anc cold because I simply could not stand staying in the house any longer."

Elizabeth wins the Best Anti-Whine Award: "My dad's coming to visit for Rosh Hashonah. And bringing NYC pastrami!" Happy Rosh Hashonah to all celebrating!

The Cluestick Posse is saddled up to pay Sarah's doctor a visit, for sending test results that included numbers and no interpretation, so she still doesn't know exactly what's going on. Many hugs from the group, since either way, it looks like a trial of gluten-free diet. Thanks to the Pixies who weighed in with encouragement and ideas.

More Cluesticks to facebook.

Time Machines to all Pixies feeling the crunch, including but not limited to Elizabeth, KLee and Sue.

Rooting through the Lost and Found here at Pixie Central, looking for everybody's misplaced energy, enthusiasm, get-up-and-go, can-do attitudes, etc.

Thanks for playing! See you next week!

Sunday, September 25, 2011

Fall is upon us....

We never actually got a lot of summer weather out here, and the early fall glory days have not shown up, either. Heat would have been a good excuse for not getting enough done, no? I may have to sentence myself to a library carrel to get some writing done this week.

Is there such thing as post-vacation letdown?

Well, the pets are glad I'm home; I'm given to understand that the concierge service was not up to snuff during my absence. In fact, my return is so darned exciting that one or more have celebrated with a few barks.

Bring the small and large ones, the whines and anti-whines! Extra credit for Style this week!

Thursday, September 22, 2011


Elevated risk of mullet to Sue for her description of airplanes as "Large tin petrie dishes from hell" and to Neighbor Lady for "Aunt Flo(od)."

Old skool award for Days and her wet dog, and for me and my ripped pants.

Cluesticks to the church ladies who don't think that Sue is working enough, to her airplane seatmate, and the supreme court.

A warm welcome back to Genevieve, and sympathies for the sadness and the physical issues. Wishes for healing of body and soul.

Wishing everyone more hours in the day, more sleep in the night, less time schlepping in the car and if we can't all have cleaning fairies, may we at least have friends who don't care about the dust bunnies.

Wednesday, September 21, 2011

welcome to what-do-you-mean-it's-Wednesday-already whining

I've decided that when they say that the days get shorter in September, it must be literally true. Not just that there are fewer hours of sunlight, but that there are fewer hours in each day. That's the only explanation for how I could be so far behind on everything in spite of running at full tilt, right?

Welcome to Wednesday (what do you mean it's Wednesday? It can't be Wednesday already!) whining, where no whine is too big or too small, the pixies are always armed with cluesticks, and points are awarded for style. I'm Elizabeth, and I'll be your hostess today. I highly recommend the self-pity today, although we've also got a fresh supply of despair at the state of the world. What can I get you?

[In the interest of fighting the incredible shrinking day, I'm declaring that Wednesday will last until at least Thursday evening. Keep your whines coming.]

Friday, September 16, 2011

French Fried Awards

Pixies, I am a little French Fry right now. But it's now or never for awards, since tomorrow and Sunday are full.

Get Well Soon Award to Neighbor Lady, with the crud.

Get busy, cluestickers, we're having a busy week: Cluesticks to Days's flooding dishwasher, kathy a.'s daughter's smell-impaired landlady, Elizabeth's no-show babysitter, and Sue's appointment-canceling clinic.

Old Skool Award to Days, for waiting all day for the courier to arrive with the package that was still sitting in some warehouse somewhere.

And kathy a. gets the inspiring Elevated Risk of Mullet for this hotel dweller's whine: "my travel deodorant committed sewercide--jumped right out of its tube and into the commode."

Honorable Mention Mullet to Sue for her clarification: "I should add that my black-circled eyes are the result of no opposed to, you know...crack."

"Do They Have Nothing Better to Ask Parents to Do?" Award for all those packing school lunches by picky rules. And for all those children and parents asked to sell fundraising junk for even junkier prizes. Seriously. Just ask me for a donation.

An Award of Competency to Elizabeth and everyone else who has ever felt like an imposter. Ahem. I'm guessing that's everyone.

Best Wishes to Gary and his family, as they adjust to grandpa in the house.

Let's just give a prize to everyone this week: lots and lots of that thing that happens when you close your eyes and breathe slowly and deeply and act like JenR's sweet baby. You know, that thing we're not saying.

Be sure and come back next week, when Elizabeth will host our whines large and small.

Tuesday, September 13, 2011

Whines? Bring 'Em

Big ones, small ones, whiny ones, braggy ones, Old Skool ones, stylish ones, funny ones, sad ones, old ones, new ones. We take them all.

My whine? Clearly I'm no Dr. Seuss.

Monday, September 12, 2011

Awards, belated due to computer melt-down edition

Posting this from work, because my computer is still down for the count. Turns out that Windows 7 Starter is even less flexible than I previously thought.

Remembering What It's All About goes to JenR for the awkward dance most newborns and their moms go through to get the nursing to actually work.

Kathy A. gets the That Sums it Up award for "seem to have misplaced the overdrive feature on my motivation gearshift."

Sue wins the This Whine Brought to You by Acme Mail Order Supplies award.

Kathy A. adds a whole new chapter to the Bible with "[yes, i have a close personal relationship with the gospel according to looney tunes.]"

Gary gets the coveted Elevated Risk of Mullet for "My whine is that individual eyebrow follicles have become ambitious colonialists.", and continues a theme with "..."I pluckerated it with extreme prejudice before its nefarious plan to make me look like a brunette version of Yosemite Sam could come to fruition."

Andy goes Old Skool with his whine about the Houston Chronicle's online comics page re-design. Needless to say, I hear you on those computer woes.

Esperanza's Dad gets the Good Samaritan award for taking one for the team and volunteering for a lay-off so others may continue to work.

The Vinnie Bobarino Award goes to Gary and Elizabeth. Welcome Back. We missed you.

The Cluestick Posse is being sent out to KLee's neighbor, who is just about the most deplorable human being I've ever heard about, ever, short of committing an crime. Who DOES that?

Elizabeth, we are all thinking of you in your time of loss. Remember, what you do does matter to many people.

Hugs and love to everyone, and I'm sorry if I missed anybody!!

Tune in...Tomorrow! When our host will be Esperanza.

Tuesday, September 6, 2011

Post-Labor Day hang-over post

What is it about three-day-weekends that makes the four-day-week that follows them feel like it will never end?

Here it is, not quite noon on Tuesday and I'm wondering where Friday is.

So is today a Monday for you?

Thursday, September 1, 2011

It's the Most Wonderful Time of the Year!

First, many congratulations are in order!

Happy Baby and mazel tov
to JenR, whose wee one was born! HOORAY! Best to mama, dad, baby, and family!

Happy 31st Anniversary to Sue!

Belated wedding congratulations to Andy!

The title of this post was inspired by a back-to-school commercial that my sister was remembering fondly as she launched her son into another year of too much running around and the traditional homework wars. In honor of the season most beloved by parents, we are pleased to present Back to School Awards to Esperanza, whose Sweet is excited about returning to preschool and "big" school! To Sarah, whose local school year begins today! To Days, who is practicing back-to-school retail therapy to stave off the end-of-summer meltdowns! And to Everyone Else!

The Old Skool Award, with a side of Mullet, goes to Amy, who reports: "Gah! I have a giant zit on my jawline, and it hurts so bad I can't concentrate on anyth " There is much sympathy in Pixieland, particularly since the condition appears to be widespread. But we are so not cluesticking you for causing Andy's zit. Runner-up is Andy, who says: "And why is it that vapid losers never get zits? It's like God's punishment for being cool."

The coveted Elevated Risk of Mullet Award goes to Andy, for the multi-part update on his marriage, including historical materials.

What with the stress and all, there is an urgent need for Chocolate Awards this week: Amy, who dipped into the frosting; Esperanza, who hit the chocolate chips; Liz, who opines that "If you're not slurping the Hershey's chocolate syrup out of the bottle, it's not really an emergency"; in response to which Amy warns "I buy the Tr@der J0e's chocolate syrup, and straight out of the bottle it pretty much tastes like dirt and twigs and hippies." These awards are virtually edible, and we offer a money-back guarantee they do not cause zits.

Sarah wins the Bodily Fluids division with a vigorous visit from Aunt Flo.

Andy wins the Free Fries Award for the sad, sad tale of Hardees letting him, a loyal customer, down by rotating out the staff who used to revel in his coolness, and rotating in these whippersnappers who have no respect.

Signs of a Long Vacation Ending Award
to Sue, who reached that level of aimlessness that causes one to re-arrange the furniture. And today? An entire month of the stuff she did not have to deal with.

Kudos to Neighbor Lady, who offered insights that might help Medical Anonymous in the quest to figure out what the heck is going on, and to Liz and Sue, suggesting Action Measures.

The Cluestick Posse is hereby dispatched to Medical Professionals, who need to get off their butts and straighten out what's going on with our friends Sarah and Medical Anonymous. Crossed fingers and hugs, friends; we have your back.

Additional Cluestickage to those powers in the universe conspiring to make Esperanza's life miserable, with "work emergencies" of her beloved always coming first, and her always stuck with the childcare arrangements.

Weather Report: Our thoughts go out to all those affected by Irene, especially by the terrible flooding some places. Neighbor Lady's report on the basement shelter during a bar mitzvah / tornado warning was scary. We also hope that Esperanza gets some relief from the unbelievably high temps.