I always will remember, 'twas a year ago November... (edited to add the actual song for Sue)

...I went out to hunt some deer
On a morning bright and clear
I went and shot the maximum the game laws would allow
Two game wardens, seven hunters, and a cow.

I was in no mood to trifle
I took down my trusty rifle
And went out to stalk my prey
What a haul I made that day
I tied them to my fender and I drove them home somehow
Two game wardens, seven hunters, and a cow.

The law was very firm it
Took away my permit
The worst punishment I'd ever endured
It turns out there was a reason
Cows were out of season
And one of the hunters wasn't insured.

People ask me how I do it
And I say, there's nothing to it!
You just stand there looking cute
And if something moves...you shoot.
And there's ten stuffed heads in my trophy room right now
Two game wardens, seven hunters, and a pure-bred Guernsey cow

Now, I'm not saying these incidents are funny, I'm just saying that 50 years after Tom Lehrer wrote this song, his reason for writing it is still true. Where's the learning?



So, what whines have y'all got for us this week? And don't forget about the cookie swap!

Cookie Swap, Recipe Swap, and Other Deliciousness Thread

Ask, Neighbor Lady, and here it is!

Are you interested in a Holiday Cookie Swap? KLee will organize, just comment here that you want to send and receive a batch of cookies and/or other goodies, and KLee will fill in the details.

Are you looking for a recipe or have one to share? Turkey tips? Stuffing/dressing controversies? Favorite Holiday Punch? What to serve at the Open House for the whole congregation (er, maybe that's just me)? What to fix for supper while you're busy with other holiday baking? Comment here, too.

Edited to add:

Details added to comments about how to participate in the Cookie Swap! If you would like to participate, please see the comments and follow the directions! Thanks! -- KLee

Thankfulness abounds.

Apologies for being so late with the ceremony! But many good wishes to and thankfulness for friends and family, near and far.

Let's just get the Cluesticking out of the way, because however much we might love or appreciate someone, sometimes something can be as annoying as all get-out. In the lineup are: Anonymous' husband, whose particular area of cluelessness is not understanding that his nearest and dearest love family holidays, even if he doesn't; Big Box Pharm and Insurance Companies, who have unnecessarily caused Esperanza and many others grief; those who set up annoying meetings; various relatives of the sullen type. The Posse is particularly saddled up to confront the fireplacity fireplacing cancer, which has reared its ugly head again.

Many good thoughts, and boundless hugs for Days and her family, and for Esperanza's small friend who was just diagnosed. xoxoxoxo

Over the River and Through the Woods Awards go to Esperanza, whom we trust got to Grandma's eventually, and Liz.

Old Skool W/AW Combo Award goes to Liz, who reports [W] stabbing her own finger, but [A/W] such joy at seeing her son have a terrific time with the relatives!

Esperanza brings the bark, causing a turnaround on the road. But she wins Best Antiwhine, because they ended up with a quiet, peaceful evening at home, with everyone presumably recovered by the second try.

Sue wins the Style Award, for her link to the soothing Holiday Fireplace. And, we all wish you a less spinny recovery from the major whomp to your poor head.

KLee wins the coveted Elevated Risk of Mullet Award for her description of dueling family dynamics, on enemy sides of the family. In one corner, there is the sullen-unless-drunk political hater; and in the other corner is Grandma, who perhaps favored English or Psychology studies, because she decided that one of the photos from the European Tour looked just like a penis.

The Culinary Genius Award goes to Neighbor Lady, who reports that leftover pie is the perfect breakfast. Isn't that the truth?

Thanks for playing! And there's still time to join the Cookie Swap!

Thanksgiving!

It's the start of the holiday marathon season, although it appears that certain businesses believe in the 12 Weeks of Christmas. Pixies disapprove, business-people!

Anyway, Thanksgiving means feasting and family and all that good stuff, usually. But tensions can run just a wee tiny bit high, too. Bring your anti-whines and whines, big and small!

My cousin is hosting, and he invited a LOT of people. So, 13 said yes, 3 said maybe, a bunch said no, and -- drumroll, please -- 14 have not responded despite reminders. Boo!

My friend also complains that she invited a friend's family with the understanding that the friend would help (although last time, the friend's friend "helped" by giving her a recipe, bringing 3 extra people, and showing up 1.5 hours late), and she kept getting excuses about planning, so my friend made reservations for everyone (because she really hates the cooking and worry and cleanup). So, her friend said, "Oh, that's not our thing. We'll just come by after dinner." Rude!

I'll be making cranberries, stuffing, sweet potato gratin, veggies and dip, and it will be glorious because I do not have to clean my personal house for the festivities. Yay! Son is making a pumpkin pie with a pumpkin from his very own garden -- who knew he'd turn out to be an urban gardener?

AW: Remember the snafu with daughter's grade from the summer, where a bunch of her work got lost? She re-bought the book, re-did the assignments that went missing, and was not getting any response from the teacher. Finally, she learned today that she got a B+. Yay! She's graduating next month!

W: Son's car died again. Fuel pump. Cousin's car died. Ran over a big-rig hubcap, which took out two tires and the engine won't start. This is obviously an epidemic.

What's happening in your world?

P.S. -- If you are interested in the cookie swap being organized by our own KLee, check the post below and contact KLee!

Diminuitive Dwelling on the Great Plains Awards

Ha! Do you have a big vocabulary, silly spammer? Just try it again.

Ahem.

Old Skool Award to Liz for the woes of--alas--only finding an abridged version of one of her favorites for the Kindle. I have similar whines on audiobooks.

kathy a. gets Style, just for the sheer, double-taking power of the phrase "two great meetings."

We here at Wednesday Whining find ourselves surprised, but we're handing out kudos to the medical profession this week. Days feels better! And Medical Anon is many steps closer to getting some answers, thanks to GastroDoc. We would be happy to find a medical professional who can make Sue feel better, stat, and--while you're at it--make the infernal headache go away once and for all.

Cluesticks to snooty hotel employees, pinkeye, procrastination-causing to-do lists, meetings that last more than 90 minutes, especially ones involving the word "visioning," and other work situations.

As I'm emotionally overwhelmed by what seem to be the extreme manipulations of my potty training daughter (you would not believe the day we have had), that's the awards show, folks.

Be sure and check out the Cookie and Recipe thread, immediately below, and be sure and join us next week for the Thanksgiving Edition (U.S. version) with kathy a. as our hostess!

Little House on the Prairie Whining

Mini has the croup. For real. I feel like we should be on Little House in the Prairie, but thankfully we live in 2011, after the invention of steroids. We will, however, cross our fingers and say our prayers that Sweet, aka Miss Compromised Lung Function, doesn't get it. Croup is the virus du jour in our town, so I'm glad Mini is keeping up with current trends. Someone around here needs to.

So, pixies...you got any old-fashioned whines? Or new-fashioned whines? Anyone twisting hay to burn in their stoves?

Awards - the "Not Wednesday Any More" edition

Happy birthday to Elizabeth! Pass the cake and ice cream!

Hip hip hooray to kathy a. on the All Clear medical results!

We want to congratulate Our Doorbell Queen, liz, for her hard work this election cycle. Better luck next time, and I am glad at least a few of the good ones made it into office in your district.

Congratulations to those celebrating blogger meetups, to the Sweet Baboo on her speech explosion, and to Neighbor Lady and her husband for their stint as G1rl Sc0ut C00kie Parents.

Sympathy to those with earworms, anyone suffering the fireplacing time change, those dealing with work craziness, anybody throwing up, insomniacs, those handling potty training accidents, Aunt Flo’s reluctant hostesses, and those afflicted with stupid condo bylaws. Send in the cluesticks!

Much Pixie love to Medical Anon and cluesticks to his or her insurance company, who is refusing to cover a scan.

My apologies that these awards are going up so late – I like to leave things open through the work week and my week got away from me, oh, sometime Thursday night. I am just now finding my way out of the fog.

Please join us next week when the charming esperanza will be our host.

In the meantime, kathy a.’s personal superpower intrigued me – what are your personal superpowers, Pixies?

Hi Pixies!

I just got home from a ten day trip and am thrilled to have woken up in my own bed (A/W!). Now that I am upright, I need to go shovel the 12 inches of snow we received since I left out of my driveway (W).

At least I have banana bread (A/W), since my houseguests left my freezer open and I had to use or lose all the food in it within a few hours of arriving home (W! W! W!).

What a start to the week! How are things at your house? Anybody want a piece of banana bread? I have lots...

Tricks 'n Treats

Such a week! Passing the leftover candy, and vanilla lattes for all.

Sending the Cluestick Posse out to the manufacturers of highly gendered items like pullups and toys. Not. Okay. Also, please note that it IS okay for boys to like big pink dollhouses.

More Cluesticks to Medical Anonymous' stupid insurance company, which has decided the scan was not medically necessary, and to the hospital, which only told her the results after two weeks and several calls from her. Plus, they have not figured out what is wrong yet, but we think continued barking and weight loss is not a sign of health.

Amy wins the Brevity Award, with an Addition to the Lexicon sash, for: Lintiest. Sweater. Ever.

The coveted Elevated Risk of Mullet Award also goes to Amy, for sharing good cheer: Here, I'll send around some plastic vampire teeth, leftover from the h'ween party. They always cheer me up. :)

Elizabeth earns the Old Skool Award, for the triple whine of losing a post, being behind at work, and getting a sick kid call. Boo.

The Best Anti-Whine Award goes to Days, who was instructed to call the teacher (uh, oh...), but it turned out that her daughter is doing really well! And the teacher wants to give extra work to keep her engaged and challenged. Yay! And yes, you do have great kids.

Liz wins -- of course! -- the Doorbell Queen Award for talking up next week's election at her mammogram. She's unstoppable!

All Clear Awards to Sue and Liz, following their mams. Wishing Liz the best with further investigation. Thanks for the good thoughts on my upcoming one.

Back to the Grindstone Award for JenR, who returned from leave to find things "reorganized to the extent that I am not entirely sure what my job is right now." Okay, then. Bonus: several weeks worth of "pre-work" for a training in 2 weeks. Yeesh.

Bringing the Bodily Fluids this week is Esperanza, whose Mini is doing just great with the potty training, except she will only perform that awesome feat for three people in the entire universe. Thus, the pullups.

The Whining Works Award goes to Amy, who was complaining about being on terminal hold with the pediatrician's office when, voila! Someone answered.

Sending Healthy Vibes to Sue, recovering slowly from her concussion; Esperanza and Days, whose households are competing for the Snot Award; Amy, whose Tater is struggling with an asthma flareup; Elizabeth, who got the dreaded call from the school; and everyone else in need.

Hugs to KLee and Sue; our thoughts are with the family and friends of their friends, who both died in accidents this past. So terrible. xoxoxo

Thanks for playing! See you next week, when the fabulous Redzils will host!