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Friday, November 20, 2009

A Breathtaking Post of Folly and Triumph


Let's begin with a triumph: Congratulations to Esperanza, who is currently more pregnant than she has ever been! Passing the chocolate cake, and plenty of Stay Put, Mini-Baboo wishes. Gravy Days from here on out! (hat tip to Amy, for the gravy.)
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Our own KLee wins the Booyah! Award for acing her final! Happy dancing and confetti all around. Or as Liz says, "PARTY WITH THE SMARTY!"
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Sue wins the Meeting Scheduling Death-Stare Showdown Award, for successfully drawing the line at the dreaded endless breakfast meeting of doom being held on her one and only day off. Way to go, Sue! Also, the Pixies agree that Sue's workouts have resulted in muscle gain, so those breakfast people had better not mess with her.
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On to the follies. Emily wins the Old Skool Award for her report on people who pick the walnuts off the top of the bran muffins. Sounds like an inside job to us, and if this happened at our houses, we would know exactly which miscreant(s) to suspect. Runners up are Liz, who spilled coffee on her tissue box, and Sue, whose cat barfed in the laundry.
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Parliamentary Procedure, My Aunt Fanny Award to Liz, for her dramatic and entertaining report on a meeting that sank into a morass, with certain persons showing their ugly sides and Robert's Rules of Order preventing salvage operations. And the best part, after all the mayhem? Oh, nevermind, no quorum. Says Madeleine, "ha ha ha ha ha, no quorum, ha ha ha. You're killin' me here, liz."
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Neighbor Lady richly deserves the Elevated Risk of Mullet Award for her priceless response to Liz's report: "Who is this Robert, anyway? And who said he could be in charge???!" Sue diagnoses Robert as a schoolyard bully, and who are we to argue?
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There was a small misunderstanding about the suggestion of duct tape. It is not recommended for baby-stay-put, or for direct snot removal, but might help with a snot-sucking bulb that has developed a hole. In any event, Esperanza wins a virtual fresh new snot bulb that works, for her Whine of the Bulb, and soothing seatage for her Whine of the Butt hurting after 4 hours of schlepping around to various medical appointments. And all this on top of losing her internet for days! And ear infections -- two for the Sweet Baboo, one for each ear!
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Bad! Pizza! Award to Neighbor Lady, who took a risk on the lactose intolerance, but teh pizza was so not worth it. Maybe the soy cheese suggested by PK will work? But on a better pizza!!
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Fire Hydrant Crisis Award to KLee, whose daughter's school bus hit one. Oy oy oy. Plus migraine, enough to make anyone want to stop the week and let them get off.
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Taxi, Please Award to Madeleine, who made it safely away from the virusy, feverish situation at home, but is stuck in a hotel away from both the conference and room service. Hope there is takeout and something decent on cable, anyway.
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Amy wins the Voice of Reason Award, for dealing with mamas in the play group who think they can and will control all giftage from relatives and friends for ever. Ha ha ha ha!
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The Cluestick Posse is saddling up this week for the people tormenting Purple Kangaroo with their extensive "friendly advice" about caring for a child with difficulties about which they know nothing. No, dudes, this isn't a problem you can solve by blaming the parents. PK's gracious refusals to respond in kind earn her a Purple Heart of Parenting Award.
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Condolences, as always, to those who are under the weather, those with family who are sick, those who are sick of the weather and/or the season, those with homework woes, and those with other woes of any kind.
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See you next week, when the fabulous Liz will host the Thanksgiving Edition!

4 comments:

Madeleine said...

Good news! SG might be better! But we are mean parents and won't let her go to school today, though I will take her to the library. And the grocery store. Because the fridge, she is empty.

I made it home in one piece, though I'm still coughing. Thanks for all the pixie support this week.

Emily said...

Great awards kathy a!

Sue said...

*applause applause* Great awards for a fine week of pixie whineage. I don't know what I would do without you folks. Srsly.
thanks kathy a.!!!

esperanza said...

Whining works, because the snot disappeared on its own, with assistance from neither snot sucker nor duct tape. And, um, ouch on the duct tape as a stay-in-there device for mini baboo.

Lovely awards. I too, wouldn't make it through the week without the whining pixies.