Tuesday, January 6, 2009

WW: "I'll Whine if I Want To" Edition

That's right, pixies, it's my party and I'll whine if I want to. This Saturday I turn 40.

I'm actually not that het up about it. My Love has made a tradition of turning to me on New Year's Eve and saying, "Hey, your birthday is coming up. You're pushing 40." He's been saying this for about 8 years, so I had plenty of time to get over it. (He's a year and a half younger than me, hence the age jokes.) Now I'm just wondering what he'll say next year.

The whining follows all the usual patterns:

  • My mom sent a wistful email and I caved and invited her to visit for my birthday even though I didn't want to. I'm getting tired of reverting to adolescence in her presence. But I figured, hey, free baby-sitting at least. Increases the chances that My Love and I will actually fit in some form of celebration. Which leads to . . .
  • What exactly are we doing to celebrate? I figured we'd go out to dinner and maybe leave early enough to also see a movie or hang out at a bookstore cafe. But no, now he's making noises about having people over here. Which means I need to clean the house.
  • Hello? It's my birthday and he's making me clean the house? Right when I'm in the middle of the unfinished New Year's Cleanup Project?
  • On the other hand, a bit of motivation to finish that cleanup isn't bad. Except it mostly meant shoving the craft supplies back onto the shelves un-pruned this afternoon.
  • One (out of two) of our very good friend-couples had a big gala 40th last month, dinner at a fancy restaurant for 30 people. We aren't doing that. Ahem. But that couple is putting some level of expectation on him, I think, so he feels like he should do Something.
  • I just keep repeating, "I have no expectations. I have no expectations." But how low-self-esteem is that? Shouldn't I have expectations?
  • It's the first week of his semester. He's also hosting a work event. He worked all through Winter Break and is still in a complete panic over work. Plan a party? Who is he kidding?
  • Anti-whine: we did come to agreement on my idea for a pricey birthday present. I want a DVR, and the one from our satellite/phone company is expensive. But we decided it would make sense to "rent" it instead. That way we can ditch it in a couple of years if we go High Def or decide to drop the satellite. And the rental price for a couple of years is my birthday present to myself. Just, you know, one drop at a time.
  • But when I called yesterday to order it, they hung up on me. The phone company. Hung up on me. Sigh. Try again later, birthday girl.
So that's my litany of birthday whines. Nothing about wrinkles or grey hair or jiggly bits, because really, I don't care much about those. Join the party and whine with me!


liz said...

Say no to the party if you don't want it and it looks like it'll be all on you to do it. Just say no.


Whine: Good, but anxiety-ridden Unbloggable stuff is going on in my life and I can't blog about it because it's unbloggable. How do I work out my anxieties if I can't get input from youse guys???

Madeleine said...

Liz, I know. Thanks for the backup.

Can you make up a really elaborate analogy for your unbloggables so we can work out some metaphorical anxiety for you? It's probably more trouble than it's worth, though.

KLee said...

Happy Early Birthday, Madeleine! I hope you have a great birthday that DOES NOT involve cleaning!

As for your present to yourself, have you thought about a TiVo? The Series 2 models are only $149, and can hold 80 hours of programming. The service is very reasonable -- only $12.95 a month, or you could pay a little less if you do multiple months or a year.

I have had a TiVo for quite a while now, and I have never had a moment's trouble out of them. The only times I have ever had to contact customer support was to change my account info, and they were GREAT. So, you wouldn't get the crappy phone company customer "support."

I'm not actually a paid TiVo spokesperson, but we really love ours, and we've even considered giving them as large Christmas gifts. I know a lot of people think they're way too expensive, but they've come down a lot in price since we got our original one.

Liz -- if you need a friendly ear to hash over Unbloggables, you can always email or call me. That's what we're here for! We can always help SOMEHOW!

kathy a. said...

happy birthday, madeleine! boo on the proposed party wherein you get to clean first; boo on the stupid phone company.

i was going to complain about other things, but here is a more immediate whine in bad haiku:

mandoline. thumb. ouch.
kids grown; remaining bandaids
are questionable.

i last did something like this over 20 years ago, but really, nobody should let me near sharp objects....

amy said...

"KLee Mays here for TiVo!"

esperanza said...

Happy Birthday, Madeleine!

Me? Again, with the boobs. They are shrinking. I'm not real caught up with boob size. But my bras do NOT FIT. None of them. Wrong size, wrong shape, stretched out. I weigh about ten pounds less than when I got pregnant (I know, I know, to have such a whine). Hence, the non-fittage. I hate bra shopping. Ugh.

Also, the breakup has meant the Return of Teh Period. Only bigger and better than before. Ugh again.

Which has brought the return of "hmm...should we work on baby #2?" As long-term pixies may recall, the Sweet Baboo was a very long-term project, and any subsequent baboos are likely to arrive only with much angst and many tears on my part.

So. Things on my mind. The breastpump buddy will go back to the breastpump rental place on Monday. We will have some sort of celebration, not involving bra shopping.

liz said...

Working backwards:
Esperanza...I know the hate of which you speak and can only say, get thee to Nordstrom's and buy at least one really pretty one.

Kathy A. I'm so sorry about your slicing and dicing. Are we talking bandaids with cartoon characters on them? And you know that bandaids keep, right?

KLee and Madeleine, thanks for the offer, but unfortunately I can't even hint yet. GAH. I can't even take a picture of myself in a t-shirt.

KLee said...

Liz -- you know that everything you say is just making me guess more, right?!

Argh -- if you ONLY KNEW what thoughts were flying through my head right now!

amy -- I will thank you to hush up and *never* call me "KLee Mays" again. Or I shall do unspeakable things to you. Somehow.

Elizabeth said...

Another vote for TiVO. And with some of them, you can download movies from netflix...

esperanza, sorry about the non-fittage, but congrats on returning the pump. An event indeed worthy of celebration.

Kathy A, sorry for your poor finger.

Happy birthday, Madeleine, and boo on having to do the work for your own celebration.

And good luck Liz on whatever it is.

My whines:

1) I'm now weighing more than I ever have in my non-pregnant life. Including immediately post birth. And no, I'm not pregnant. I'm working on it, but HATE dieting.

2) D has pinkeye. I may have it too, or may just be itching in sympathy.

3) Cold, wet, dreary day.

Antiwhine: 13 more days!

kathy a. said...

esperanza, the need for bra-shopping always gets my vote.

now klee has me speculating on liz's unbloggables, too.... we're going to need a full report once it isn't secret!

i found 2 scraped knee bandages and one knuckle bandaid, in an ancient first-aid kit. the wrappers had turned yellowish and were falling off, but the knuckle bandage saved me. looks far more attractive than the paper towel and packing tape arrangement did.

amy said...

One vote for the Frontierswoman Award for kathy a. and her bandages.

Sue said...

Happy Birthday Madeleine!! Hubby and I do the same thing with the aging jokes - his birthday is only ten days before mine and we were born the same year, so I get to gloat for 10 whole days!

40 is a great birthday. Enjoy it. Don't have the party if you don't want it.

I turn 50 in July and I won't be hosting anything - too much work. I also have told everyone I know that I DO NOT want a surprise party. Hate them Absolutely hate them.

Me? My insurance company whineage is taken care of and I'm feeling pretty good today, so I'm in the Whine-Free Zone for the most part.

liz said...

Please do not speculate about the following for I am NOT:

Fired (or otherwise jobless)
Headed back to school anytime soon
Tapped to be in the Obama White House or related to anyone so tapped.

Sue said...

Ah rats! I was sure it was the last one.

amy said...

oh, and i thought it was the first one. well, crap, liz, now i'm really curious!

Madeleine said...

The early competition is strong!

Glad you found a working band-aid, kathy.

Thanks for ruling out a few topics, Liz.

Sympathy for the bra whines, oh yes indeed.

And the pinkeye. Eep.

Thanks for all the Tivo advice. I am aware of the wonders of Tivo, but north of the border they aren't so well integrated with the content distribution network. Blah, blah, blah.

But you reminded me to call again and after interminable time on hold I have an appointment for Monday afternoon! And a good thing, too, since that's one of the few days I can promise to sit still between noon and 5 pm.

Whines about customer service and quasi-monopolies will be considered already entered into the record.

kathy a. said...

dang, liz -- i was also guessing the last one. so that narrows it down to something less national-newsworthy, but still amazing....

elizabeth -- pinkeye always gets my vote, too. sending comfort vibes and hopes for the miracle cure.

yay to sue, about getting the insurance stuff cleared up!!

further adventures of the SILfH: on saturday, she and her son came to our house for a lunch meeting. her ex, who has sole custody, set this up so their son could see her in a safe place.

Major AW: nephew has grown so much, is doing great, and it was SO good to see him!

W1: it was a lunch meeting. SIL said she would bring pizza, but only brought a trunkful of talking stuffed animals and neediness. the pizza fairy took care of this glitch.

W2: OY, the inappropriateness. "when are you coming back to see me?" [asked about a dozen times in 2 hours.] "why don't you call?" [nephew is 8; she can call every saturday under the court order, but has not done that in over a year.] "why didn't i get a picture of you in your card? your uncle did." "do you like how i look?" [yet another new expensive outfit, which she cannot afford.] "is daddy mad at me?" and my personal favorite, "what's your email address?" etc.

beloved and i were working the distraction tools to the max, and we just adored the time with the little guy. but my teeth, they keep grinding.

kathy a. said...

beloved has been dealing with his sister for several months, and he thought she was functioning MUCH better during this visit. then he saw the photos i took [all posed for the occasion], and realized: she really looks nuts. which is true.

Madeleine said...

kathy a., you are a super aunt and uncle for agreeing to host that event and doing your best to make it go well. And I'm glad you got to see your nephew.

Genevieve said...

Happy birthday, Madeleine! Do whatever you will enjoy most. If that's spending time with good friends, how about (1) at your house, but Your Love does the cleaning up as part of the birthday present; (2) out with friends, but somewhere much lower key than a big gala at a fancy restaurant - maybe a breakfast/brunch party somewhere, or at a friend's house, or all going out together to do some activity?
If you'd rather just do something with Your Love, can you tell him that and then do it?

Liz - I am curious. But emphathetic for the unbloggability. Love your list of it's-not-this.

Sue - so glad your fireplacing insurance company is no longer as fireplaced up!

Whine: I am sad. Leaning slightly towards depressed, I think. Do not want to go there. My thyroid is normal (last time I was depressed, we tweaked the dosage and I'm now at my highest ever dose and apparently my numbers are where they should be). Various small things going on making me sad, but nothing huge. Hubby is very stressed and anxious in his job right now, such that he's not sleeping well, so I don't want to lean on him at the moment. Exercise would definitely help, but I am low-level migrainey due to constant rain this week, so that's out for the moment.

Genevieve said...

and I'm sorry for the double-post, but I forgot the two recent things that precipitated the sadness (and I hope that the sadness is temporary due to them, and not a sign of actual depression returning):

(1) a random blogger reviewed the show the kiddo is in, using letter grades, and gave the kiddo the lowest grade. By name, so now it's googleable. Made me mama bear mad to have someone criticize my child; more reasonably (since he is putting himself out there by acting), made me fireplaced off because it seemed unkind to give a child a low grade, by name, so it's searchable (without even any specific comment explaining why), and made me worried that the kiddo will happen upon it at some point when googling.

(2) I was looking forward to going out with work friends today for a fancy, delicious lunch, to celebrate my belated 40th bday (since 3 of the 4 friends were unable to come to my party), but it got cancelled this morning as one person couldn't come due to unfair circumstances beyond her control. Rescheduling is sounding difficult, and one friend suggested doing it on a weekend so work stuff wouldn't interfere, but that seems so much more difficult to me.

and now (3) just got a call that a work deadline that was vague and in the future may just have become "very soon" (not due to fault of anyone), and I'm nowhere near as done as I would need to be in that case. Two other work matters are stressing me out, I'm close to tears, and have a much harder time concentrating / accomplishing stuff when I'm in a state like this.

So sorry for dumping all this on y'all.

Madeleine said...

{{{Genevieve}}} This is exactly the place to dump those three things. Consider them dumped! No longer on your plate!

You know you have my empathy on the difficulties of appropriately celebrating one's 40th birthday. I hope you can work out a new time for the fancy work-day lunch.

And cling to the "couldn't have known" aspect of the new-soon deadline, and do what you can.

More hugs.

Madeleine said...

Heavens help me. Can 8 year olds get PMS? I thought I had a couple more years before I'd hear "You DON'T GET IT."

For the record, she just doesn't feel like going to Hebrew School. She's normally happy to go and promises she won't ask to skip it again, and says nothing is wrong she just doesn't feel like it. OK, fine, mental health day, not the end of the world. But I won't take her to the library instead, where a sequel she's been waiting for, for months, is on the hold shelf.

Sorry, babe. Consequences.

kathy a. said...

(((( Genevieve )))) Hope your birthday lunch gets rescheduled pronto! Singing the HB song over here, belatedly.

But -- wtf about a blogger being such a fireplacehead in a review of a kids' performance???!!! Calling out the cluestick posse. That is just mean and pointless.

Madeleine -- "sorry babe. consequences." is one of my favorite lines. :)

KLee said...

So sorry, Genevieve. You are ALWAYS allowed to dump on us! That's what WW is for!!!

Besides, sometimes talking about what's stressing you out helps to relieve some of all that anxiety.

Whatever the case, we love you, and if you can't have a party with your missing friends, we'll throw you a virtual one here! I'll supply the Six-Layer Taco Dip!

Liz, I was SURE it was #1! Sorry we have you running to allay all of our guesses....

My whine for this week is that my foot STILL HURTS. And, when I went to the ortho doc a while back, he said that he's VERY reluctant to give injections for it, even though my bone spurs showed up on the Xrays. Foot hurting, and I have to wear uncomfortable shoes tomorrow for class (group) pictures.

My other whine is that my darling progeny, Offspring, will be 13 on Friday. Where did my baby go?!

Genevieve said...

Thank you, Madeleine, kathy a., KLee. I appreciate it and it helps. I also sobbed all over my officemate and she hugged me and that helped.

To clarify, Kathy A., this was a professional (even rather pricey) performance of a show that happens to include some kids, but mostly adults. But I still thought it was mean of him to rate a kid's performance poorly, by name. And without giving any justification.

KLee, I felt a little bad dumping here, even though I know this is what WW is for and that I love all you guys, because I haven't been at WW that often.

kathy a. said...

That's *especially* nasty, Genevieve. I just cannot see where it would ever be appropriate for a critic to dump on a particular child, but to do so publicly, by name, regarding an adult performance? What.A.Fireplacer. How is it that this person is still employed?

kathy a. said...

and ((( Klee ))) xoxo

esperanza said...

Eh, Genevieve, no attendance requirement. Whine away.

My new whine is that I and the Sweet Baboo have AGAIN caught a cold from DaDa. Last time (6 weeks or so ago), hers required steroids, so I'm hoping I can avoid that by whining. I have a sore throat and a runny nose. She has a stopped up nose. Her throat probably hurts too, but it's hard to say.

Genevieve said...

KLee, I'm sorry about your foot!
Elizabeth, hope you can avoid the pinkeye.
kathy a., good improv bandaging, and you're a hero for hosting that SIL/nephew meeting! I so admire how you do so much to support your nephew and don't let your SIL's behavior get in the way of that, no matter how awful it can be.

The review was just in someone's blog, not a real review. So I really shouldn't be taking it so personally, it doesn't really count, and yet it made me just furious because, as you say, it seemed especially nasty and unnecessary.

Sue said...

What they all said Genevieve. The pixie party is always here for you sweetie.

Old Skool Whine: Guy across from me in yoga class should NOT be wearing tight yoga pants. Just sayin.... eeeww.

Anti-whine: the class is fantastic!!

esperanza said...

ew, Sue. Thanks for the mental image.

kathy a. said...

Sue for a prize!! Dyin' over here with the image!

[Plus -- doesn't "tight pants" kind of defeat the whole yoga, zen, get loose, let go of damaging self-images, don't impose on others kinda thing? Just asking.]

liz said...

KLee, I'm so sorry about your foot.

Genevieve, you KNOW that's why this place is only periodic.

Sue, EWWW.

amy said...

my jewelry should arrive tomorrow. (this is a reference to my whine last week that my husband ended up bribing me to stay home on new years.) i completely don't care and i wish the episode were just over. still, it'll be here tomorrow, i think, and if it's great or terrible, you know i'll tell you all.

my whine this week is that i'm tired of parenting a 4.5 year old. it's like she has voice immodulation disorder all the time - wait, i'm sorry - ALL THE TIME, and she won't go to sleep at night and she won't nap and she won't stop wiggling and she won't go to the bathroom when everyone knows she has to pee and she won't just stay over there - just a foot away - while i nurse the baby and she WILL NOT LISTEN, NOT EVER. it occurs to me that parenting a baby is sooooo much easier than parenting a preschooler.

amy said...

help me out here:
is the yoga pants guy an old skool whine or an elevated risk of mullet award contender?

one thing's for sure, we should send sue some virtual eye bleach.

and many hugs to genevieve and many celebrations to sue for being nearly whine-free this week. kathy a, you are a hero for giving your nephew that space last weekend. it can't be easy for anyone involved.

purple_kangaroo said...

Can someone make my post under the wrong username go poof? I'm having problems deleting it.

No whines today, but I stopped by to offer support to the whiners.

I've got a post half-written with updates on the things I whined about last week that I'll post tonight or tomorrow over at my place, but won't take up space here except to say that it's all good--except for the annoying typing computer thing, which I'm pretty sure is the result of something I installed, which may very well end up getting UNinstalled soon--because, as much as I wanted the features, it's just too annoying.

Anyway, hugs to all the whiners, and I'll try to come back nd pst individal comments when I can actually type agan. I'm going t try tofx that tonight,because this is wht itends uplooking like with the constnt ttemtpat taking over my typing cursor if I don't make multiple repeated an freuent crrections.

purple_kangaroo said...

Genevieve, I vote to e-mail the blogger and mention to them that, while you respect their right to post their opinion about the performance, you just wanted to knw if they had considered that this would be google-able by the person's name, and you would greatly appreciate it if they would perhaps consider making a change to your child's name or using only the first initial of their last name, or something like that, because of the google-ability and the possibility that the child or future potential employers might come across it.

purple_kangaroo said...

Happy birthday, Madeleine!

And is it bad form to congratulate you on the unbloggable thing, Liz, as I'm sure it deserves congratulations?

amy said...

okay, i realize this is wednesday whining, but here is my confession: i'm addicted to myFarm on facebook.

there. thanks, i feel better.

p.s. i nominate typing problems for some kind of technology-gone-wrong award. if you can't type, you want to whine, but if you can't type, you can't whine at the weds whine. it's tragic!

liz said...

Typing issues definitely get a special award.

Madeleine said...

Awards are partly written but I just got the dreaded "Mommy, my tummy hurts" call from school. More later, hopefully without bodily fluids.

liz said...

Madeleine, I hope that your day proceeds without vileness.

kathy a. said...

madeleine, hope she is feeling better!

Madeleine said...

She's feeling a little better. The problem appears to be not bodily fluids, but bodily solids, which is a recurring issue for her. Thanks for the well wishes!

liz said...

Can you give yourself a Elevated Risk of Mullet for "bodily solids"?

And have you tried Miralax? It's worked wonders for MM. Along with forcing him to drink more water.

JenR said...

I hope everyone who's sick or headache-y feels better.

I'll throw in a late whine for crib recalls. And the fact that repeated large crib recalls mean a definite lack of options when you have only one store you're allowed to shop at ('cause that's where the recall voucher is good). We went last night only to find that the store had only about 20 cribs to choose from. Some ugly*, some HUGE, some with scary drop sides. Many improperly assembled so you couldn't tell how sturdy they really are. Despite the difficulty I imagine bending over the edge with a sleeping 23 lb baby, we went with the no-drop-side model. Less to break; thus less to recall later.

*Seriously - one had 3-foot spindles sticking up from each corner, topped with pointy wooden stars. I imagined picking the baby up out of the crib and accidentally stabbing him with the goofy stars. Ouch.

BlackenedBoy said...

Happy birthday! I hope you enjoy yourself and have fun.