Tuesday, February 26, 2008

The "Crap! Did I Miss It?!?!" Edition of the Whiner's Ball

You know -- I should have stayed in bed this morning when my alarm failed to go off. Waking up late was just the perfect start (and an omen of things to come) for today. That's one strike.

I showered, and got dressed for work, unearthing a cute pair of shoes that I intended to wear with the new skirt and blouse that arrived in yesterday's mail. Halfway through lunch, I realized why I never wear those shoes -- they hurt like a sonofabeech. I have blisters on almost every single toe. And one in the ball of my left foot. Score two for Team Misery!

I get home tonight (late, of course) after taking a pile of Girl Scout Cookie money to the troop leader, and start in cooking dinner. It hits me in the middle of wrapping egg rolls: "Dummy! You signed up to do Wednesday Whine this week!" Crap! And there goes strike number three.

Call this game on account of brain delay, people. I am probably not coordinated enough to manage to make it to my bed without either injuring myself, or calling the wrath of the gods down on me tonight. Pray that I come through unscathed. Sorry for the delay. You may now commence the whining!


Madeleine said...

Not to worry, KLee, you are right on time. And I am whiny. But first I tuck in the girl. More later.

kathy a. said...

klee! it's only tuesday, and it is not yet midnight anyplace west of europe. i therefore nominate you for an early-bird award, and send a virtual soothing foot-soak.

i'll take a few of those thin mints off your hands, too -- hubs only bought ONE box at the office, and daughter promptly begged for me to send it to her. no GS cookie stands outside the local markets as yet. it is a sad state of affairs.

going for old skool this week: i caught the senior cat peeing on my area rug, and upon pulling the rug up, learned that this is some kind of sick recent hobby. the stench on the underside is weapons-grade. efforts over several days with a commercial product made it stink even worse. now i'm pouring bottles of peroxide on it, sacrificing all the ratty towels i can find to the cause. if anyone needs a large, sodden, stinky cluestick, gotcha covered.

Miranda said...

Driving home tonight on patchy black ice from school with a stabby migraine, I heard a strange noise on my right. It was almost like an airplane.

The Jeep that was to my immediate right now faced the other direction and it looked like he was still spinning.

I gripped my steering wheel harder and reminded myself to exhale for the next 22 miles until I could throw myself onto the sofa.

KLee, you got any Samoas for me? I have a Thin Mint or two, but I really want a Samoa or fifteen.

Kathy A, my darling Kitty apparently has fleas. Because her actual owner, the Idiot, never remembers her flea meds. I'll take your sodden, stinky cluestick, please. (Oh, and me and Kitty are now BFFs and her personality change is incredible.)

liz said...

MM had a bad day. A bad, bad, bad, bad day.

Lying in the morning.
Lying at noon.
Lying in the evening and now I call the tune.

Sit upon the stairs here
No TV shall you get
Lego Star Wars? HA!
Not even on a bet.

Then MS must go
To Tango with the school board
Because of great stupidity
Which has the county floored

It seems a certain phobia
Has the Superintendent in its grip
I wish I could play this song to him
But then he'd probably flip.

liz said...

HOLY CRAP Miranda, I'm so glad that you are okay.

Sending a soak to your poor toes, Klee!

Kathy A, I got nothing except sympathy and a clothespin for your nose.

Andy said...

The price of Nutty Bars went up significantly.

Anonymous said...

g*@gle ate my whine. It was about how tired I am. So I'm too tired to write it again.

Also, I don't know what Nutty Bars ARE. But old skool for Andy!

Further, I'd like to whine that apparently my Girl Scout cookies are getting to me significantly* later than elsewhere.

*significanty is defined as anything over an hour. I NEED my thin mints. Also samoas.

Anonymous said...

I say stinky sodden cluestick for those in liz's county who want to ban that darling darling darling book. I love that book.

Then again, I have some gay agenda! I swear, it's somewhere around here. Hang on a minute, it'll take me a minute to find it. Likely it's hiding underneath my latte-drinking Prius-driving agenda....

susan said...

I am in the midst of doing performance reviews on my 60+ colleagues (most of whom are also reviewed by a faculty committee in the department). Most of the reviews are proceeding just fine, but a significant minority of them are resulting in a great deal of whines and occasional obstreperousness (one committee doesn't want to change what seem to be clear factual errors in one review; other people are being rude in their comments back to me about the committee; other people are micromanaging the committee ("shouldn't my review mention my X activity?"); some people just have their feelings hurt by reviews that don't accord with their own views. And I am just out of patience with managing all this.

It might help, of course, if I tried getting more sleep instead of staying up too late reading blogs. Although I am glad that turtlebella made me laugh.

And Miranda, glad you're OK!

kathy a. said...

style vote for liz!

margalit said...

Liz gets my old style vote for loving and knowing that male penguins RAISE their young. Morons in your county.

Hugs to Miranda for bumper cars on the drive home.

I NEED thin mints. No girl scouts selling anything in this godforsaken suburb of snow and ice.

W: It is STILL February. When will it end?

W: My son. I could say more, but what is the use. He is just a complete asshat at times and he has secreted every fork in our home (and there were plenty) somewhere in his room. We have no forks to eat with. This gets old fast. When will it end?

W: My daughter. She is miserable. She hates her clinician, and I can see why. They do not mesh well. I tried not to step in, but that isn't working so I talked to clinician this morning and she was PISSED. Kept saying daughter should talk to her. Daughter hates her. She is NOT going to talk to her. Sigh. When will it end?

W: New project going exceedingly slow. I need more mothers of teenagers to sign on. Anyone?

AW: am within 1/2 lb of goal weight.

W: Am within 1/2 lb of goal weight. When will it end?

W: Cat peeing all over upstairs bathroom. Why? And when will it end?

W: Car I was supposed to pick up in DC will not be ready until April 4. I am tired of being without transportation. When will it end.

I think you get the theme of my week.

liz said...

Margalit, all my sympathies on these whines. But on pounds, remember that you always round DOWN. Therefore, you have reached your goal weight.

Sue said...

Margalit - what Liz said re: weight loss. Good for you! Sorry about all the whineable material in your week.

Liz- I'm speechless re: the book. Just speechless.

Miranda - glad you're ok. sorry about the migraine. Blech.

KLee - sending good foot massage vibes your way.

hugs and votes for all the good pixie whines so far - especially those involving cat pee. Ick.

Whine: Same old, same old. No word from headache clinic so far. If they don't have a cancellation, I'll be going to see heacache doc at the end of June. It seems like a lot of headaches from now...

Whine: Mood. Crap. Familiar old lethargy and exhaustion. I don't feel like doing anything, like getting dressed in the morning for example. Work? ugh.

Madeleine said...

When the going gets tough, the whiny eat chocolate.

I am having serious rage issues, though mostly inside my head. How DARE that contractor's pickup truck block both parking spots in front of my house when I'm already feeling whiny? Then shake his head at me like there's nothing HE can do? Then, as I execute my 53-point turn to park in my shared, snowy, narrow driveway, he pulls forward such that I could have parked in front of my house? Jeez.

The real question, of course, is why this minor occurrence incites me to rage and the answer is probably work-stress-procrastination plus the ever-popular February.

Madeleine said...

And now, some votes.

A ticket to Australia for Liz. Use it yourself or give it to MM, your call. And a style vote, natch.

Much sympathy for Susan. Doing performance reviews is one of the eviler necessary evils of work life.

Margalit, ick on your daughter's clinician. I hope you can find a workable situation since your life will get a whole lot better when your kids' lives do!

Hugs to all those lacking girl scout cookies. Including me.

esperanza said...

Hmm. Votes to all who are sick of February and its accessories. And Sue's headache.

Whine: Project Baboo-get-rid-of-the-oxygen isn't going well. She isn't maintaining the level the doctor wants to see WITH the oxygen, much less without it. Half of me wants to get rid of that hideously heavy thing right now. And the other half is smart and says she still needs it. Sigh. It's starting to feel like she'll be on it when she graduates from high school, and I'll still be carrying it around.

Antiwhine: Doctor says she is "thriving," which provoked this grand oxygen experiment. So that's good. And she smiles and laughs at us. The baboo, not the doctor.

And on the February was 92 degrees here the other day. And 32 degrees here this morning. Sorry to all those who have snow and ice and other nastiness. This bipolar thing we have going is a bit hard to keep up with.


Andy said...

Turtlebella, you've never heard of Nutty Bars? Delicious wafers with peanut butter in between them covered in chocolate made by Little Debbie? They've been a staple of my diet since I had an allowance. Casey always yelled at me for blowing my allowance on Nutty Bars and pop, and in fact still makes fun of me because I still blow my paycheck on both staples. Truth be told, I could make a run at the style award with an ode to Nutty Bars, but I'm short on time.

But yeah. Price of Nutty Bars went from 2/$5 for the big box to 2/$6. Out of nowhere. Curse you, Little Debbie, and your capitalist machinations.

amy said...

Whine or Antiwhine?: Turtlebella has never heard of Nutty Bars, and if one reader here has never heard of them, then that means there are others out there who have never heard of them. That is a tragedy. For them. More for me and Andy, though.

Whine: I'm so sick with the all-day sickness that I'm not functioning. I hate this. I hate it so much, but I think I hate myself a little more right now because I exaggerated to the doc about how much I've vomited so that she'd give me the anti-nausea drugs.

I am a bad, bad person.

Some GS Shortbread cookies might take the edge off of that guilt though. It's a real shame no one in this county sells them.

Madeleine said...

Amy, if you are sick enough that you aren't functioning, where is the badness in getting the drugs? Good for you on the self-advocacy, I say!

Hooray! to esperanza for the laughing, smiling baby. She will outgrow the oxygen. She will.

Anonymous said...

All three of my kids have strep throat. The youngest had the rash that comes along with strep. Clinical textbooks say it's not itchy - but she nearly scratched her skin off.

Work is stressful, as auditor reviews from a period in which we were crazy busy and I was thrown into tasks which no human being could possibly have done in the time frame alloted - and got them done (mostly by working 80+ hour weeks) - are coming in. No surpise, they suck. It's brutal.

Oh, and at a meeting with my kids' school last week, the words "referral for special education assessment" came up in regard to my eldest child's behavior.

Sue said...

Sadly, I have never tasted a Nutty Bar. Not that I needed any help making this day more miserable, but now I desperately want a box of cookies that I cannot have. *sigh*

Madeleine said...

Anonymous, if a bit of Drama helps your youngest feel better, s/he can tell everyone they had Scarlet Fever. This is a big hit with anyone who has read Little House books. (Strep + rash = SF, though my daughter wasn't itchy. Sorry about that part. Ugh!)

Madeleine said...

Oh, sorry, you did make it clear your itchy itcher is a daughter . . . multitasking, death of good writing.

Anonymous said...

I told my boss it was scarlet fever. Apparently, a bit of drama makes me feel better. :)

Elizabeth said...

N fell and gashed his head on Sunday, requiring 8 stitches. He's fine, I'm still traumatized.

D has been invited to yet another birthday party that conflicts with Hebrew school. I feel like a bad mom whichever way I go. Am probably going to try to split the difference (leave party early, get to hebrew school late), which makes me crazy and guilty.

After just about taking the car apart, the garage doesn't know why the traction control warning light is coming on. Maybe the warning system is broken, maybe it's really the traction control.

The painters found out that they had the wrong size boards to replace our siding (where the woodpeckers have destroyed it) AFTER they had taken the old boards off.

Our brand new dryer doesn't work because the MOTHERBOARD has an error. It's been over a week and the repair place hasn't gotten the parts in yet. I'm sick of having drying laundry hanging everywhere.

The places where we need to go to pick out our countertop and tile are only open weekdays (when I work) and Saturday mornings (when my husband works). Don't they want our money?

My mother in law says there is an error in a form she gave us, so we can't file our taxes (and thus get our refund) yet.

I am so fried that I'm hardly getting anything done at work, which makes me feel like a fraud and a generally worthless human being.

Madeleine said...

Oh, Elizabeth. That is a rough, rough week. Lots of hugs. I've had the birthday party/hebrew school conflict, too. Crappy whatever you do.

Fireplacing Hell said...

Many worthy whines this week.

I'm whining anony-mouse-ly because I just found out that my main huge project for this year will not pay me one red penny, this year. It is a stupid payment scheme [the next trigger for payment is not in my control, and it has been set for next january], and there is nothing I can do about it. But it forces me to sign up for at least one more long-term project [on different terms], because I need the bucks to live and pay bills, you know?

This is pretty depressing. I've scraped by the past few years, but really didn't expect to be in quite so desperate a situation this year.

redzils said...

I am teaching three times a week. I have 57 undergrads, and at the moment I am trying to teach applied statistics. It's inherently fascinating to them, as you can imagine.

I am taking a reading heavy seminar, working in the lab, teaching for my advisor who has the plague, traveling 20 of the 31 days in March, and oh yeah, trying to write my Ph.D. qualifying paper in the next 7 weeks.

And that isn't my biggest whine.

That guy some of you remember from my Thanksgiving adventures and I continue to be ... something. He calls to check on me, nags me to eat, is taking me in for spring break, etc. But we have been broken up since December. And I imagine we will re-do the melodrama at the end of my week spent with him.

If he cares so freaking much, shouldn't he realize it? And if he doesn't, could he please lay off pestering me to eat my vegetables?

Much sympathy for all the worthy whines this week...

Anonymous said...

The googlemonster ate my comment for the second time! Apparently they have something against me. Because seriously, what the fireplace?

redzils has my vote for insane grad student + relationship hell. Because the two always seem to go together. I dunno why but I had a eerily similar experience in grad school and so did half the other grad students I knew.

I may never have had a Nutty Bar but I sure do want one now!!!! Peanut butter...wafers...chocolate...yeah, you had me at peanut butter. Sigh. I'll have to see if they have Little Debbie stuff here in the frozen northwest...These snacky type things seem to be oddly regional, I have found.

Anonymous said...

The googlemonster ate my comment for the second time! Apparently they have something against me. Because seriously, what the fireplace?

redzils has my vote for insane grad student + relationship hell. Because the two always seem to go together. I dunno why but I had a eerily similar experience in grad school and so did half the other grad students I knew.

I may never have had a Nutty Bar but I sure do want one now!!!! Peanut butter...wafers...chocolate...yeah, you had me at peanut butter. Sigh. I'll have to see if they have Little Debbie stuff here in the frozen northwest...These snacky type things seem to be oddly regional, I have found.

Anonymous said...

okay, so really the google people hate me. I mean, publishing my comment twice after deleting twice. I'm afraid to see what will happen to THIS comment!

Anonymous said...

okay, so really the google people hate me. I mean, publishing my comment twice after deleting twice. I'm afraid to see what will happen to THIS comment!

Miranda said...

Turtlebella, your Google snafus are making me laugh.

((Redzils)) At least there is no ex-fiance this time.

((Fireplacing Hell)) That just sucks.

((Elizabeth)) Let me share some of my tea with you.

Hugs to everyone else and guess what? Next time we meet it will be March!!! I am so fireplacing glad about that.

Elizabeth said...

Thanks for the good wishes.

I don't remember what any of the awards are called anymore, but Amy should get one for "I exaggerated to the doc about how much I've vomited so that she'd give me the anti-nausea drugs" and Esperanza gets one for "And she smiles and laughs at us. The baboo, not the doctor."

And a vote for whine of substance to Fireplacing Hell because poverty sucks.

And fie on an extra day of February.

Sue said...

Redzils - I got stuck at the part where you teach applied statistics. I am truly humbled. Stats may as well be hyroglyphics to me. Anyway, hugs and votes to you...and you don't have to eat your vegetables if you don't want to.

Fireplacing hell and Elizabeth - hugs and votes to you both.

Additonal whine: Is it EVER going to be spring? Crap! It's so fireplacing cold here. I'm so very tired of plugging in the car every night. Our hydro bill is going to be a killer for January and February - the cold months that. simply. would. not. end.

margalit said...

It is snowing....again. In February. At my house.

If that doesn't qualify for the whine of the year, I don't know what does.

Uccellina said...

Despite having worked really, really hard to get pregnant, I have officially reached the point where I'm Done With This. My belly is so big I can't sit up properly anymore. My left ankle is swollen to calf-size, while the big toe on my right foot keeps turning blue. I can no longer sleep for more than two hours at a time before the Crotchal Pain of Doom wakes me up. Waaaah.

Oh, and I filed for disability this week, but have no idea how long it will take to get the first payment. Rent is due in . . . oh yeah. Four days. Hm.

So. Broke. So. Pregnant. Waaaah.

liz said...

MM was much better today and the idiot superintendant is going to put the book back.

Hugs to all. Too many good ones to vote.

'Night all.

debangel said...

Hurray for Tango! I have a friend who is a GLBT activist, and for Christmas one year I painted her a penguin ornament and gave him a rainbow hat and scarf =)

Huge hugs to all the hurting pixies, but a special one to Uccellina- have you guys seen her belly pictures! I get lower back pain just looking at them. You poor bunny =(

Whine: the hospital released my dad back to the assisted living community despite the fact that he still has fevers and confusion. To the point that he walked out of his room wearing a wifebeater undershirt...and nothing else. He has an appt. with his new geriatric doc in the morning and I am going to call and offer to translate, because apparently Dad has also forgotten a lot of his English. This is a man who spoke four languages fluently. Can we please put down the Botox and figure out a cure for Alzheimer's instead, please? While we're at it, let's fix health care so that people can actually afford nursing homes if they need it. I'm already chasing a pantsless toddler around and I don't think I could handle my father at the same time.

Double whine: I guess that makes me a really rotten daughter =(

Antiwhine::my daughter saw me crying the other day and brought me a stuffed animal to make me feel better. Cuteness is obviously not fatal or I'd have been dead of an overdose long ago!

I can't have chocolate at the moment,so Klee, can you pass me one o'them egg rolls?

Elizabeth said...


Knowing your limits does not make you a bad daughter.

Sue said...


That Mommy said...

Crap, did I miss it?

Whine of no Girl Scout cookies in Canada.

Antiwhine of having almost missed WW due to being halfway across the country with Kid1 and liking the doctor we are here to see, enough to fly out here regularly if it means avoiding the crapshoot of the last few weeks.

Anonymous said...

Hooray That Mommy!!!!!

Debangel, my hugs. You are not a crap daughter.

Liz (Mystery Mommy posting anonymously from school.)

Elizabeth said...

And my late breaking anti-whine is that our dryer is finally working, and my husband is putting it to good use...

kathy a. said...

oh, gosh. votes for everyone.

YAY for that mommy!
and hugs for debangel.

and uccelinna -- happy babies to you! i always wanted twins, but didn't exactly think the whole thing through... my first was a frank breech, and the mechanical attempt at turning so, c-section it was. second babe was "natural," which does not necessarily translate to easier. however it happens, i know you will be a wonderful mom!!!!! xoxoxo

Uccellina said...

Kathy A. and Debangel, thank you :-)

In the throes of my self pity, of course I forgot my antiwhine: Pregnant. Healthy babies. The rest will sort itself out eventually.