Awards!!! Poopalanche edition

This week's title is brought to us by Sara, who wins the Whine of Substance award for her adventures in Mother-in-Law land, a place none of us should ever ever ever have to visit.

The Cluestick Posse (with me at the head) is movin' out to Canada this week, to swing the sticks upside the head of Little Miss Burnout, who --- get this --- blames Sue's headaches for turning her off church. Nice. At least now you know why you're grouchy in the mornings, Sue.

The coveted Bill The Cat Award for best Whine to Anti-whine Turn-around in a Whining Cycle (and funniest Anti-whine) goes to Amy and her daughter. Amy, you may print out the picture to hang on your daughter's wall.

Sending love and hugs to Esperanza for her very hard week, including a badly timed lunch break. I'm so sorry, Esperanza.

The Burma Award for Closest Shave goes to Genevieve who, due to a co-worker brain fart, almost missed a deadline, and as Kathy A. correctly stated, she is also the winner of this week's Elevated Risk of Mullet (against daunting feces-covered competition) for the inspiring dictum:

Attention local young adult: repeat after me, "An intersection is NOT a skate park." Thank you.

Thank you all for your birthday wishes, and for your entering with so much spirit into this week's theme.

Tune in next week, when your host will be Dr. Redzils.

Last Friday's Whine

Two words:

Stool Sample.

Your turn.

Awards: Swing, swang, swung

The weather is swinging wildly like spring will do, and the pixies are swingin' too!

Brevity Award to Liz for our shortest whine this week, "Flu. 'Nuff said." Indeed.

Best single sentence in an ANTI-whine (henceforth known as the Girl Scout Cookie Award, because they are on the menu so often at the Whiner's Ball) goes to amy, for "i said i'm "almost" out of cookies."

Elevated Risk of Mullet Award for best single sentence in a Wednesday Whine goes to kathy a. for "but dudes, the other night, i got night sweats four [4] times, every 1.5 hours all night, leading me to toss blankets and cats all over the place."

Runner-up Mullet Award to Sue for "been there, done that, including the tossing of the cats."

The Fear of a Dark Cloud Award to Margalit, who wonders what we'll think of her ginormous pile of whines. Oy, what a week. The Cluestick Brigade are jumping in a chartered bus to S. Carolina to bop BFF's boyfriend on the noggin. Schmuck. We'll drop off a comfort squad on the way past your town, to work on the rest of the issues.

The Pixie Security Team are fanning out around Genevieve, because WTF is with people who bump into her when she's wearing a neck brace? Be more careful, people of America. Yes, you can.

Old Skool Award to Sara, whose RSS reader is hiding her beloved lolcats. "I do not find loldogs nearly as funny as lolcats," says Sara. Luckily for us, we find you funny.

Thanks for playing! Join us next week when Liz will host from her new undisclosed location.

WW: Spring Forward Like a Bat Outta Hell

If ever there was a weekend that deserved to be one hour shorter, that was it. I'm normally not a fan of Spring Forward (though I like the afternoon light once the jet lag is over with) but this past weekend? Good riddance, extra hour.

Y'all knew it was coming when I played nurse advice line in the comments last Thursday, right? Pride goeth before a whine. Snuggly Girl had a headache when I picked her up at after-school. I paid an outrageous amount for a small bottle of advil (oh, yes, that's why carrying a purse pays off) but ignored my own advice about giving her two pills. Ignored. My. Own. Advice. Because I'm just that optimistic.

It was pretty clear she wasn't going to be up for the rest of the evening's schedule, so we hunkered down in our favorite diner until My Love could pick us up. It still didn't occur to me to slip her a second pill. For the record, when you give half the dose you shoulda used, it can take up to 2 hours to have any effect. Also, the eight year old version of bursting into song? Bouncing off the couch and asking for the Lego she hasn't touched in a year. Still cute, but takes up more floor space.

Friday morning she woke up early with a fever and sore throat and no interest in swallowing pills (more comeupance), but in my blessed procrastination I had never managed to give away that last sealed bottle of liquid advil, thank goodness. Thus followed two days of alternating pain killers, with a brief, stupid break Friday afternoon which of course led to rising fever, a 90 minute nap in my lap in the late afternoon (anti-whine, HP7 in my hands), and failure to fall asleep until late that night. Saturday I was pushing pills like I was profiting from it to avoid making that mistake again.

I spent those two days mostly in my pajamas, feeling like I too would be sicker at any moment. My Love held out until Sunday and then started mumbling about Asprin and expiration dates. Neither of us got as sick as SG, though.

Anti-whines: Her sore throat dissipated and never came back, so virus not strep. And she was well enough on Sunday to go to the Purim carnival. The only thing worse than a sick kid is a sick kid who is Pissed Off that she is missing a fun event.

Your turn! Share your tales of woe, time-change inflicted or not. I'm guess Liz has some good moving whines and also has a bunch of ideas about what more she might have packed in that extra hour.

I Don't Wanna Edition

Our own fabulous Liz set the tone early, and wins the coveted Elevated Risk of Mullet Award for her timely whine, “I've got a bad case of the Idon’tWannas,” which somehow coincides with OMG moving!

Following that theme, Margalit wins the Morton Salt Award (when it rains, it pours) for dealing with multiple bad things, from snow to medical to fruit flies to cat pee. I mean, sheesh, give her a break, already! (Host shakes fist at universe.)

Sue wins a Quote of the Week crown for “Le Sigh,” a spirit resonating with other Pixies, and an Ain’t That the Truth Award for “I really dislike feeling like I'm as dumb as a bag of hammers, even though I know now that I'm not.”

Old Skool Award goes to JenR, who was summoned to fetch her “not happy” son from day care. He was fine within minutes, and fell happily asleep in the car.

New School Award to Genevieve, who fell (almost literally) on her face and got all banged up (OUCH!), and none of her Facebook friends said a single fireplacing word. Passing the motrin, and hoping for a swift recovery, Genevieve!

Kill the Spider Award to Amy, which comes with a loooong vacuum cleaner nozzle for future encounters of the arachnid kind. Pixie hugs and sympathy, Amy, for the double-whammy of feeling depressed and hubs leaving for training.

There are some fabulous Anti-Whines this week!

The Boogie Woogie Sweet Baboo Award goes to Esperanza, for the joy of seeing her rhythm-deprived bitty one dance her heart out!

Snow Days Award to Elizabeth, who went nowhere for two days, except to play in the snow outside.

Miranda scores the Free at Last Award, celebrating an upcoming 33 days without work travel!

Thanks for playing! Girl Scout cookies and wishes for a better week to everyone! See you next week, when Madeleine hosts the Whiner’s Ball.

Rainy Days, Stormy Weather

It's raining here [which is good in terms of drought avoidance, but otherwise soggy], and I hear tell of snowball fights from Georgia to points considerably northward. Snow! In March! In tropical parts of the nation, even! So, the Whiner's Ball is open for business a little early this week.

My Beloved visited daughter at college this weekend. They studied, worked on study skills, AND had fun -- big antiwhine! He was able to miss the latest series of whatever with his sister, who is always a whine. Meanwhile, I'm finally finally lining up contacts, advice, support, resources to get a fireplacing plan in place about SIL, one that doesn't burn on the fuel of our sanity. Please cross fingers!

I got squeezed in [HA!] for my boobal followup on Saturday, was pronounced good to go, but told to come back in 6 months to "keep an eye" on some tiny cysts. Sigh of relief, but 6 months? No Fair.

What's the news with youse?

Statue of Whining: Bring us your boobs! I mean, your whines about boobs. Or your whines. Or something.

This seems to be a boobalicious week for the pixies, with kathy a. getting an additional boobal squashing, liz getting good mammo results, and this classic poem taking The Style Award:

I'm dreaming of a non-beige bra
That costs less than a new Ford
One that has a front clasp
And won't collapse
From the effort of keeping the girls on board.

I'm dreaming of a non-beige bra
Maybe even one with no underwires
One that's not going to hector
The metal detector
At the airport in front of all the other flyers.

My days would be merry and bright
If my bras weren't only beige and white.

Hostess Win: I got to eat lunch with liz, I <3>Whine of Substance goes to margalit for her “totally unexpected heart surgery” - those are words which should never go together – and the fall out in kid behavior and recovery time.

The competition this week is FIERCE, not to mention varied, in the Bodily Fluids category!
amy took an early lead with “my daughter barfed tonight. and i caught it. in my hands.” Which she thoughtfully broke into Whines / Anti-whines for us:
She barfed. Whine.
I caught most of it. Whine. (I hate vomit.)
More than half still hit the carpet. Whine.
She trusted me enough to stand there, not panic, and barf where I was telling her to barf. Big Anti-Whine.
Once she was done barfing, that was it - no more overnight or yesterday. Big Anti-Whine.
My husband volunteered to clean up the carpet. BIG BIG BIG BIG BIG Anti-Whine.

Later contenders for Bodily Fluids include Klee with the Creeping Crud, Madeline’s sick partner, and Sue’s Feline Fluids extravagana.

Sarah sweeps Old Skool hating the smell of ketchup. “Especially ketchup left on the plate after chicken nuggets. I don't mind eating ketchup, but if the smell persists as an issue, I may have to give it up. If only I could make my son give it up.”

Uccellina is Not a Worse Person for whining about things which do truly suck. And we hope she gets her internet back soon – work without it is hard to bear.

Genevieve and her Monkey Mind need an award of their own. Between the insomnia / the sleep-deprived hallucinations, and the incoming deadlines, that is a lot to deal with! I have my own monkey mind, and all its fall out. Genevieve, if you figure out a good way to meditate around it, please do let us know!

We are jealous of Madeleine’s attendance at “a rock-star event, of nerdy inclination.” However, we will generously let her keep the piles of laundry, with no coveting.

And, finally, in a new category I am calling Teachers are Human Too, it is *not* evil for KLee to “wish that Margalit's problem of exploding buildings to relocate to HumidityLikeABrickWall for my school tomorrow?”

Thanks for being here, Pixies, and sharing your lives. kathy a. will be our gracious hostess next week.