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Monday, March 16, 2009

Last Friday's Whine

Two words:

Stool Sample.

Your turn.

51 comments:

KLee said...

Ew. You win. Hands down.

kathy a. said...

OMG. yes, you win.

Liz Miller said...

Good excuse to start the whining early, no?

I could barely hold it in until today! Get it? Hold it in? Bwahahahaha!

kathy a. said...

ok, i can work with a theme. for the 98th consecutive week, i am tired of my senior cat pooping in the tub. my husband cleaned the tub yesterday [using all the bleach in the house, and probably slopping it on the only towels that have not yet gotten bleach-stained during his periodic cleaning fits], and he will want to do something bad to the cat if he sees his efforts rewarded thusly. the cat maintains that she is gorgeous, dahlink, and can she come purr in your face?

is it wrong to posthumously curse my husband's grandmother for teaching him that tossing bleach cures all evil? or curse the cat for getting even more eccentric in her old age?

Anonymous said...

kathy, i think it's a tie for which is the most frustrating. my guess is that the only thing that would cure the bleach tossing would be some of his more prized clothing items getting destroyed in the process. (that's what would work for my husband, anyway.) any chance you need to suddenly need to line dry items of his in the bathroom?

Elizabeth said...

You know, if the cat has to poop someplace that isn't the litter box, there are much worse places than a bathtub that the cat could choose.

Not to be unsympathetic or anything...

kathy a. said...

yes, elizabeth, i'm very lucky about her doing it in the tub! still, it's not something you want to deal with before coffee, or some other constitutional. and true confessions, i am very bad with poop; it is a miracle my children lived through the diaper years; and i have the greatest heartfelt sympathy for everyone who has to deal with poop in any way.

amy, for some reason, it's always MY clothes that end up getting wrecked; i'll bump up against a counter or something, not realizing it is damp with bleach. ugh.

Liz Miller said...

The bleach thing is horrible. And if he continues to do it after you've asked him to be more careful, you need to consider that he might be doing it on purpose to get this job taken away from him. Confront directly on this point and, if the behavior does not stop, send in the cluestick posse.

esperanza said...

As long as we're on this theme, my whine is that the Sweet Baboo pooped four (4) times this morning, before 9 am. And that she pooped while in the carseat on Sunday, on the only stretch of highway between home and grandparents' with no facilities whatsoever. I pulled over and changed her on the side of the road, in the back of the minivan.

I'll have more whines tomorrow, but these seemed pertinent today!

Anonymous said...

In keeping with the theme....lactose intolerance test coming up on Friday, as first part of various diagnostics, which are all unpleasant, but not happening this week.

Yes, I'm pretty sure that I AM lactose intolerant, given what happens when I have dairy. Yes, I'm pretty sure their medicinal "milkshake" will not make up for all the real ones I can no longer eat, and yet will still make me feel miserable.

And, I seem to be conducting my own test at home this week, accidentally...
Wah!

What a perfect theme for the week, and I am sorry for all the others for whom it also fits...

--Neighbor Lady

Madeleine said...

Neighbor Lady, I'm so sorry to hear about your dairy difficulties. When Snuggly Girl was tested, it was an orange drink and then they checked her breath for hydrogen every hour for a few hours. Is that the test you are having?

(In our case, too bad they forgot to ask us if she'd had anti-biotics recently. Uh, yes. She got negative result, despite a whopping tummy ache 3 hours later, and the hospital forwarded the results to our pediatrician with no comment. We didn't figure it out until we saw a GI specialist later, who took one look and said "Zero? That's not a reasonable result. False negative.")

I don't have a poop whine tonight, except maybe that I was sorting laundry and decided a particular pair of SG's undies could go in the trash. It's almost time to buy the next size anyway.

Sue said...

Liz - you tewtally win. Srsly.

True poop story: Really nice couple at church with two little boys aged 4 and 2. The mom sings in the choir, so dad is left to herd the two adorable cats/children during church. My goodness, but I could just eat these two up - soooooo cute.

After church a few weeks ago, Mom asks Dad, "Why is A wearing those clothes?" (the back up, emergency clothes that you keep in the truck all the time, just in case).

Dad: "Poopsplosion."

And....scene.

Anonymous said...

since we're sharing poop stories, today at target, in the middle of the store, my 4.5 year old declares in a slightly too loud voice, "I have to go poop NOW." so, i set down the thing i was looking at, said, "okay, let's go to the potty." all through the store we walked, me pushing the cart with one hand and holding one of her hands with the other while she held her butt and waddled as fast as she could.

antiwhine? we made it to the bathroom.

Sue said...

Whine: As I get older, I seem to get more and more bitchy in the morning. This morning, I said goodbye to hubby THREE times before he lifted his head up from something he was reading and said, "I heard you the first time - bye."

So I crabbed right back at him. "Would it have killed you to SAY something to me before I leave for the entire day?"

His response: "I thought it best to leave you alone - you're kind of cranky this morning."

Whine: He was right. Ya, he was playing it safe.

I've always hated morning, but these days, especially work days, morning is the Enemy. I can't just switch my mood off and on with some magic switch - wish I could. Anyway, it was a sucky way to start the day.

BroccoliEater said...

Whine: My mother in law is in the hospital.

A fully detailed whine would run to 20+ pages to reveal the full and awful backstory on this one.

Short version:
Abdominal pain+severe weightloss.
Uninsured.
Doctor sent to ER last Thursday.
ER diagnosed diabetes and gallstones.
Kept in hospital for tests.
Hospital announced miraculous under-65 medicaid eligibility due to extreme poverty and uninsured status.
Hospital tests inconclusive.
(In keeping with the theme of today, there is poop involved here, too: Inability to produce it).
Medicaid app revealed funds she's been hiding from us while claiming utter poverty.
She refuses to talk about any of it, has denied her children access to medical information, and fluctuates between gorked out silence and raving paranoia.
But is apparently lucid enough to make medical and fiscal decisions.

Cherry on top of the whine:
Because of previous history, my husband has yet to call his mom in the hospital. If she ever makes it home from this hospitalization, the fallout from this is going to be extremely ugly.

Sue said...

Oh Sara, I'm so sorry. What a horrible situation. Sending pixie hugs...

Madeleine said...

Sara, Ouch! That is a nest of thorns, isn't it? So sorry.

kathy a. said...

((((( sara and husband )))) what an awful fireplacing mess: backstory, present story, collision thereof.

Anonymous said...

Sara's story is one of those nightmares I have periodically, where I'm so glad to wake up. Best of luck - I hope things take a sudden turn for the better.

My non-poop related whine is that tomorrow is my daughter's surgery to release the tongue tie no doctor has caught for her entire 4.5 years of life. I know it's no big deal, but it feels like one.

I will be so glad once it's over. Even if it ends up not making a bit of difference for her, for her eating problems, at least we can move on and I can tell certain family members "No, it's over and done with - I am not going to sue anyone." Because, you know, it's hard enough to have a child with a medical problem that fell through the cracks - do we really think suing every doctor who never caught it will help? Personally, I say no. So I am taking deep breaths today and will keep doing so until we're home tomorrow.

Sue said...

Amy - I hope everything goes well for your daughter tomorrow. When it's your child it *is* a big deal, no matter what.

Sending good thoughts your way...

kathy a. said...

((( amy ))) thinking good thoughts for you and daughter. even a little surgery is a kinda big deal. hope it does help!

many condolances on the "go sue the fireplacers" chorus from family. xoxo

Elizabeth said...

(((amy))) good luck with the surgery.

((sara)) sorry about the family drama. FYI, Medicare = public insurance for the elderly, only available at 65. Medicaid = public insurance for very low-income, disabled, medically needy.

My whine: my mother is so twitchy in Florida waiting for a liver transplant that she's threatening to give up and go home.

Unknown said...

Elizabeth, Medicare is available to all disabled persons, mental and physical. I'm 56 and I've had Medicare for years! Yes, it's standard for the elderly, but unless you're at poverty's doorstep, Medicaid doesn't cover you. How poor? A family of three has to bring home less than $17K to get Medicaid. Like THAT is going to happen in the Boston area.

There is a waiting period to get Medicare where you can't be on Medicaid and can't get Medicare either. Because why would the chronically ill NEED health insurance? In our state, people who are accepted for SSDI but are in the 2-year medicare waiting period are covered by 'free care' which means you pay absolutely nothing for medical care including prescriptions, but it all must be from one hospital.

Anonymous said...

Madeleine, yup that's the test I'm having....yucko. Not looking forward to the whopping tummy ache at the end of teh dumb test. At which I will be shocked---**shocked***--if I don't turn out to be majorly lactose intolerant. At least I haven't been on antibiotics lately, 'cause I don't think I could stand to do this twice...

Hugs to Sara and Sue and all others in need of one, and best wishes for Amy and a successful surgery.

--Neighbor Lady

JenR said...

I have a poop antiwhine - I wasn't home for the poopsplosion that happened this morning, so I didn't have to clean it up! (Tune in later, when I'll probably whine about the poopy clothes I'm bound to find unrinsed in the sink.)

Today my whines are work related - too much data and too complicated of a data structure, all causing too many headaches.

kathy a. said...

oh, (((( elizabeth )))) -- hoping your mom can find a way to stand the wait. isn't it a situation where she loses her place in line if she leaves?

neighbor lady -- uck about the test! one. time. only. for sure.

this started out as poop week at the whiner's ball -- and ribbons of honor to all dealing with human poop, samples, 'splosions, their aftermaths, the absence of, reactions to, etc.

but the theme seems to have morphed into family medical crisis week -- not so easily fixed with wipes, disinfectants, and prompt rinsing, alas....

Madeleine said...

On the lighter side, I am amazed by the number of drivers who don't signal their turns. For many years I've fantasized about holding up a sign that says "Your turn signal is broken!" as a passive-aggressive poke. Maybe I'll put a smiley face on it.

Elizabeth said...

margalit is correct that if you qualify for SSDI, you also can get Medicare, after a 2 year waiting period.

If my mom leaves, she won't lose her place in line, but if an organ comes up and she can't get there w/in the available window, it will go to the next person. So she could leave for a while and then go back, theoretically.


She's talking about "going home to die in her own bed" although there's no actual evidence that she's anywhere close to dying.

Anonymous said...

Warm thoughts and hugs to all with family medical whines.
"Eeeeeewwww" awards suggested for all with poop-related whines.

I have minor whines this week.
(1) I relied on a new colleague's assertions that she had her part of things under control and would get them done well within the deadline, and it almost (ALMOST, Thank God) resulted in us blowing a Major Deadline of a Serious Nature.
(2) First World Whine: husband just called and asked if I can take kiddo to teh Scout meeting tonight that neither of us realized was on for tonight. Husband is busy and I was looking forward to a mellow evening with the kiddo, but instead have to rush around to get home early to get him to Scouts on time. I don't enjoy Scout meetings (never mind the political ramifications - husband wants to change from within, and our pack/den is quite open-minded so there haven't been any Issues) and don't wanna go through the manual with the kiddo to see what activities he's completed so he can get some belt loops (the new badge, apparently).

On the other hand, husband played a big and pain-in-his-neck role in saving my butt on the Major Deadline in #1, and I vowed Undying Gratitude. This is very very minor in comparison. So I just feel grumbly about it, but will definitely do it.

(3) Attention local young adult: repeat after me, "An intersection is NOT a skate park." Thank you.

kathy a. said...

genevieve for elevated risk of mullet, for her notice to the young skateboarding person!!

also, an "i hear ya, sister" on scouting. it was really great for our son; we had an open-minded pack/den/troop; but, oy... i sure hope that change from within happens soon. it's been pending for the longest.

KLee said...

I have yet another antiwhine/whine combo this week, but I am not bringing any poop to the Ball.

(The only potty-related issue that I might dredge up is that I have a student who CANNOT, for the life of him, seem to aim his little dinky at the toilet, and so I am often called upon to wipe urine off of the toilet seat, floor, and wall. I'm rather tired of this. Anyway....)

My A-W this week is that I am headed out of town for an educational conference this evening!

The Whine part is that I have to travel on a train for 12 hours to get there. Bleargh. And, unfortunately, that's in coach. I could have booked a sleeper car, but I would not have been reimbursed for that. Coach, I do get reimbursed for.

So -- hold down the fort, pixies! Have a good rest of the week!

kathy a. said...

klee -- aim is bad in the 3-adult range of ages, depending on the individual and circumstances. mom sez, sometimes having the individual clean it up themselves helps. [not as punishment, just responsibiliy; and do this on the quiet so it isn't embarassing.]

a nice long train ride sounds wonderful! and so does the conference.

esperanza said...

On the non-poop front...man, have I had a week. Yes, I am aware that it is only Wednesday. This is one of those weeks that "part time" is really "full time." Comes with the business. Church lady died last Friday (ten minutes after I arrived, having sent her daughter down to cafeteria to get lunch. Crap).

Which brings us to this week...Sunday-today, trip to get medical treatment for baboo, combined with grandparent visit. That's five hours, each way. Tomorrow, meet with bereaved family, then Friday services at cemetary and church, then the regular Sunday merry go round. It would be a lot for me to get done in a regular week, much less a week with a trip.

Also? Somehow da-da did not manage to make it to the grocery store the entire time baboo & I were gone. He did straighten up the house and throw away junk mail, but we really need groceries.

I should not be whining; I should be working.

esperanza said...

Oh, and I forgot. Conversation with my dad..."I would really like for you to attend [weekend retreat that was really meaningful for me]." "Dad, I really have no interest in doing that." What? I'm thirty-stinking-four years old. He's made it clear before that he thinks I should go; I assume I have made it clear by not going. Why's he trying to tell me what to do? Ugh.

Liz Miller said...

Whine: Only an hour and a half left of my birthday.

Anti-whine: BOOOOOOOOKS!!!

Sue said...

esperanza, that sounds like a lot to deal with half way through the week at "half time". Blech. I hope the week improves for you.

kathy a. said...

LIZ! HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY! xoxox

Liz Miller said...

Awards coming after work! Keep whining!

Sue said...

Liz, did I miss this yesterday??? Your birthday????

I hope it was a happy one.

Elizabeth said...

Happy belated birthday to Liz!

Madeleine said...

Liz,
Happy, happy, happy! One day late. And you spent it at some all-day meeting thing? I hope you have a fun weekend planned.

Anonymous said...

Happy happy birthday to Liz, with BOOOOOKS!!

Anonymous said...

Thank you all for your kind thoughts and prayers. We're home now, post-surgery, and everything went fine. Everyone is fine. And I'm not sure if it's a whine or an antiwhine (it feels like an antiwhine to me), but both of my children can now stick their tongues out at you. Watch out!

Madeleine said...

Yay for successful surgery! Blllllllllll. That's me sticking my tongue out at you.

Anonymous said...

Hooray for everything going fine and for stuck-out tongues!

Sue said...

Yay Amy!! I'm glad everything went well!

Whine: today someone came to my office to resign from ALL of the committees she was serving on and to let me know that it was my sick leave that put her off church. She was in charge of looking after the necessary paper-work for the insurance people (which any moron could fill out, frankly) -- that was it.

But it's still my fault that she's burned out and turned off of church.

Thanks. For nothing.

And by the way - I WAS feeling better, until today. Talk about two steps back...

Fireplace.

Madeleine said...

Oy. What an unpleasant thing for her to say to you, Sue.

Anonymous said...

sue, i'll send my daughter over to stick her tongue out at that woman, because srsly? that's wrong.

esperanza said...

Yeah, Sue. And, it's not your fault. Her decision.

But I can see that Amy's daughter is going to prove very helpful to the cluestick brigade. Cheers for untied tongues!

And a very belated happy birthday to Liz. But if it came with books, it sounds good to me!

BroccoliEater said...

Thanks for all the Pixie Sympathy.

I would like to add, for the record and in keeping with the theme, that when my children were in diapers, messes that escaped both diaper and cover (or the stupid paper dipe when we did disposables) were known as "Poopalanches."

We actually had a whole code system set up based around the phrase "all hat, no cattle" that would take far too long to explain, but amused us greatly. We were very sleep deprived.

kathy a. said...

yay, amy! yay, tongue-sticking-out!

sue, how ugly. how inappropriate and wrong. how passive-aggressive. i'm saddling up for the posse.

~~~~~~
W/AW, since the thread is still open. went to an all-day training thing at my old office. it was a kind of training that i used to prepare and host and present for years; not a lot of new info, but i got to see lots of people, work in some meetings on my stuff, and there was a free lunch.

but according to some whispered asides and some public info, the office is going through a contentious reorganization, something similar to what happened before i quit. as much as i miss the daily work companionship, i sure am glad to have missed another round of reorg. :)