Putting up the thread early this week, because it's clear that it's needed, what with KLee's news, kathy's albatross, and the male-imposed policy of free-range dogs at the WithCats household.
Ice storm hitting us tonight has caused the cancellation of a speaking opportunity for me in the morning. Which is okay.
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Ice storm is always a winner. Hope all works out and everyone's safe, Liz!
Grr. Dog man is bringing home dinner, having done the dishes, so I think the cats and I have transmitted certain issues.
Cat follies: daughter put away the dishes, and instead of putting the extra cat bowl on a shelf, she put it on the floor. The sight of an empty bowl sets Spot off, and so he registered loud complaints even though the other two bowls were full. ;)
W: SIL seems to be a little volitile still -- OK some days, manic others. Yesterday she was really agitated about what time her first ex-husband is coming to pick her up so they can get married. (Never; but nobody ever says that to her because hers is not a reality-based universe.) Fireplacing FTD. Still hoping they get the meds straight.
Bonus: court date Wednesday, to continue SIL's conservatorship. They keep really close tabs to be sure nobody is stealin' or cheatin' or abusin', so the process carries approximately the joy of an IRS audit.
W: the albatross is unbloggable, but after 2 a.m. I basically only slept long enough for bad dreams and racing heart awakenings. Should have just gotten up then and done another chunk of it.
Hope all caught in the giant storm are OK! xoxo
Sick kids, sick me, no time off work, stupidly long 17h shift yesterday, awful sleep last night (body stuck in awake after being up 39 straight hours), house is a wreck.
And we were out of eggs this morning. After I heated and oiled a pan. So a pan to wash with nothing to show for it!
(((Jenevieve))). I am so tired of our country being the only one without paid parental and sick leave.
Jeni! Oh, man. And what Liz said. Hope you are feeling better, and the kids, too. xoxo
Oh man, so many hugs for Jenevieve. They make you work such terrifyingly long shifts at the new job!
W: toddler temper tantrums. They've been wearing me down, for the past week. We're trying a few things to lower her stress/frustration levels, but I realise that a lot of these methods are tiring. (For example, she's calmer when the house is clean.)
(((QWP))) Will the budget stretch to a cleaning service? Or even a neighborhood teen to come help de-clutter or clean or take care of E while you de-clutter or clean?
Priorities! De-stressing is better than a de-cluttering chore, at least in the moment. My kids never really were uncomfortable with mess. I was, though, so if someone can help with one part or another of the puzzle, that's a good thing. Like the idea of a neighborhood helper!
The budget can't even stretch to childcare (and rarely to new clothes), so a cleaning service or neighbour kids are right now. But we have a small place, and I had it clean here for a while (until I got sick). I spent the day making a bit of a dent into the mess (and Mr. Q moved the stuff that has to go the dump from the kitchen to the shed). It'll get there.
AW: Mr. Q has finalised his teaching schedule for this semester, and it's a dream. Most of the marking-heavy academic classes were in the fall, which meant I was on my own to handle a lot. I'm so excited and relieved. (One neat thing: he's going to be team-teaching woodworking with an older teacher, who is training Mr. Q in that and in computer maintenance, in anticipation of his eventual retirement. I will definitely reap the benefits of Mr. Q learning how to build stuff!)
Kids' toleration of mess is different, just like grownups. Sweet's room has to be tidy for her to be able to get ready in the morning (touch of distractability leads to dawdling leads to being late leads to rushing leads to mama's and sweet's heads exploding). It doesn't matter for Mini; indeed, her room is a pit most of the time.
W: High people time weekend: grandparents here, including high maintenance grandpa. Mr E had THREE funerals and hence wasn't here most of the time.
AW: Mini has just about figured out how to ride the new bike *without* the training wheels.
W: Also, my first cavity ever. I am 40. I asked if I could get the filling for free, since it was my first at such an advanced age. The dentist did at least laugh and say that was impressive before he said no. It's in a baby tooth that I never lost, and I'm trying to keep, so even though it is maybe not even a cavity, he wants to fill it.
Ugh Jenevieve, many hugs.
Sleeplessness and pounding hearts appear to be a theme this week. Add me to that middle of the night group. Bleh. Why can't All of The Things go to sleep when I want them to????
(((QWP)))
Good luck with the albatross kathy.
Hope everyone in the Snow Zone is safe and warm.
My born-in-Central-America, grew-up-in-Texas niece is going to college just north of Boston. I'm trusting she is listening to smart people and staying home.
Peaceful sleep to everyone tonight!
Small albatross whine: I agreed to preach for Mr E at his church this Sunday. Way more stressful than anywhere else. So I've done nothing toward a sermon, naturally.
Sorry I brought everybody down with my bad news. I am really trying to not let it bother me.
In an anti-whine to combat the downer, Offspring comes home tomorrow for a long weekend. I'll be glad to see her.
Three funerals and a high-maintenance set of visitors all in one weekend just seems a little excessive.
So does a maybe-cavity. Here's the drill (HA!) -- ask for a neck pillow for the procedure; that just makes it better. Grip the armrests tightly; the expression "white knuckles" is not for nuttin'. And immediately after, you need to go get a fresh warm chocolate old fashion donut, to show the dental demons you're bigger than they are. [The donut was my secret trick when I finally got a wad of dental care as a 20-something. No new cavities!]
Esperanza, best to your niece! She won't want to go out.
KLee, yay about the offspring visit!
Glad your offspring is coming home, KLee.
I am not really nervous about the filling business. Orthodontia trauma has numbed (ha!) me to the whole thing. Just don't put one of those giant trays in my mouth to take an impression of my teeth, or I will indeed puke on you.
I hear you re: teeth impressions. *shudder*
And yes, three funerals is just wrong on any weekend, but on a weekend with family visiting...just no.
Even worse, Sue: TWO of them were on Sunday....and now there's a likely funeral toward the end of this week too.
AW: one lovely church lady said to me yesterday in the restroom, "we're praying for {Mr E}. This many funerals has to be difficult for him, especially so close together." THANK YOU for getting it, for thinking it through just a bit from his perspective. Church ladies with that thought process are sadly lacking, but much appreciated.
So sorry re: stress for all who are having stress.
Speaking of tooth impressions, MM goes to the orthodontist for his tomorrow. I thought it'd be for the braces, but I've been set straight.
Liz, Ha! :) Good one!
Blizzard here.
at least no school.
Neighbor Lady
Stay warm, NL!
(and thanks for pointing out Liz's funny. I hadn't even noticed!)
:D
Actually, he got impressions AND braces! Tops only. Bottoms in 12-16 weeks (waiting for a reluctant baby tooth to come out, if it's not out by then, they're gonna yank it).
He finger-spelled, "This is painful" to me during the stretchy mouth portion.
Thanks, all! 2 meals of awesome cooking, a big cocktail and Buffy reruns last night, and running (for the 1st time in 10 days!) made a big difference.
Glad you're feeling better!
Jenevieve, so glad you feel better!
Ouchy, Liz. By finger-spelling, do you mean he used ASL? Cool.
W: More bad sleep, racing heart, and bonus nightmares. BLEAH! Any ideas for stressapalooza? AW: have a plan A and plan B for the albatross.
Yes, ASL alphabet. Didn't want me to hold his hand, tho. Benefits of a communal examining room. 4 chairs, all filled with pre-teens and teens getting various braces-related procedures done.
Jenevieve, so glad you're feeling better!
Kathy, way back in the 80's you could get cassette tapes that had new-age-y relaxation stuff on them. You know, "picture your left little toe in your mind and relax all the muscles in that toe"...Do they have them on mp3? I find them so silly that just laughing at them makes me less panicky.
Yeah, the new age meditation tapes are so not happening. But time to dig out humorous books!
Kathy, humorous books are such a good idea. Also: hot bath before bed, possibly with the humorous books. I took a bunch of classes on the mindfulness meditations, and while the CD is a bit much for me, it does help to do the "body scan," where you start off by directing all your attention to your little toe, breathing into it, and work your way up to the top of your head. And watch how the caffeine affects you post-noon. Maybe limit screens for a couple of hours before bed. (I've experienced a lot of anxiety-induced insomnia. I get it, and I'm sorry you're going through it.)
Jenevieve, I'm glad you're feeling better. We have your back, friend.
KLee: your bad news isn't bringing us down! I'm really sorry you didn't get that job.
AW: today was a better day. We've been working on destressing here, and I spent the day cleaning, and making muffins with E.
W: there was one huge meltdown at naptime, and it was rough. The bad temper tantrums really shake me. (My hands were shaking, street I finally got her to sleep.) I didn't expect it to be this hard on me: a decade ago, I nannied my then-two-year-old goddaughter, and helped her through a tantrum phase. It didn't really bother me to deal with the meltdowns, because it was like, "Ah, you know how toddlers can be." I guess part of the difference was I sent the goddaughter home at the end of the day, and then slept for eight undisturbed hours, and had weekends off. But I'm having a really rough time, this time around. I knew I'm doing (basically) the right things, when I deal with her, but I really hope she mellows out some more, because this phase isn't good for my mental health.
"After," not "street."
You will figure out the figure-out-able triggers (because face it, toddlers are not always predictable) and be able to avoid them: hunger, tiredness, too many people-ness, boredom, lonely, need to poop, etc. (May also apply to adults)
MM was complaining of mouth pain this morning, so I asked him if he'd like some Ibuprofen and Acetaminophen, because I used to give that to him when he was teething, and he asked, "did it work?" And I said, "well, it seemed to."
So he took it.
I'm calling the school to let them know he may ask for more.
MM is very cool - using ASL! I hope his pain isn't too intense during the day. When the pain is general (as I imagine his is) otc pain meds is the way to go. When the braces start to cause discomfort in particular places - use that awesome dental wax to offer relief. It always worked well for me.
Glad you're feeling better Jenevieve!
(((QWP))) Oh, the tantrum phase. Sending calming, destressing energy your way.
As for the stressapalooza, I wish I had some wisdom to share. Alas, the pounding heart stress monster visited me again last night.
W: I had a good day yesterday and likely would have slept well last night except for an evening meeting that didn't go well. It was a chunky meeting with other local churches, same denomination. Apparently the theme was "Eeyore Does Church" because we're all dying.
I am so over being told that my full church and healthy Sunday School is in hospice care. It's not.
There is a fine line between offering hope by saying our church is growing, and "Sue is bragging." So I kept my mouth shut and went home sad and frustrated.
End rant...
Thanks for the braces advice, Sue!
Maybe the reason your church is thriving is because (ahem) it's minister is loving and welcoming and pushes for her congregation to do the same. People tend to flock to places they feel wanted.
AW: Sent the school's 7th grade admin a note re: MM's teeth and possibility he may come to the nurse for a dose. She sent back a note asking when his last dose was, and would I like her to check on him later? I said, "yes! And thank you!"
((( QWP ))) It is a lot harder when the kid is your own. It feels more personal, even though you know it is a phase.
Sue, oy about the sad, fraught chunky meeting.
I had forgotten about dental wax! But it helped my son, kept the sharp parts from rubbing too much. Hope MM is less ouchy.
AW: Better sleep last night. Worked out a plan, at least, for the albatross. Re-reading Pigs in Heaven, which is not exactly humorous but is gentle.
W: I miss the crib. She refuses to nap today, and kept climbing out of bed, and getting herself into shenanigans. Even when I put the old cover on her window, to make it pitch black in her room. I'm exhausted. I had a bad night last night, and was depending on this time so that I could nap.
(((QWP))) I hope tonight is a better night.
I just want to cry.
Have had two snow days, but first one spent digging out of a blizzard and grading. And this day spent grading.
And more whines I won't bore you with.
And now my car won't start.
Wah!!!
-Neighbor Lady
Oh, NOOOOO, Neighbor Lady! May the jump start be fast, and a new battery on its way.
You can go ahead and whine about the "boring" things, too.
xoxo
OK here's the other whines:
Called the fire department last night because we noticed peeling paint in a part of the bathroom ceiling, and when we touched the spot it felt hot. Stuff around it not. They ended up putting a hole in the ceiling to check for faulty wiring, and found.....
a hot water pipe.
now we have a hole in our ceiling patched with a clear piece of plastic and blue painters tape.
also, we are planning to move in a couple months, and the new house will be not too much bigger, but better layout, but no storage basement (instead there is living space-- a raised ranch), so I have been sorting and sorting through years and years of crap.
and I have learned that my husband and I have different levels of attachment to items in our house: him, not much; me, a lot.
so, sorting is kind of wrenching
And, we are the least handy people on the planet , and now we have a hole in the ceiling. From which something dripped before we called the fire dept.
so now, yeah, probably a plumber too....
and also, if I hear "I'm bored" one more time from my offspring I may just pull my hair out.
AW: the kiddos made me lunch. and are now cleaning up the kitchen
W: husband can't come with jumper cables til after work, and then it will be dark, and then we will have to follow each other as we drive around town a while like some ridiculous caravan inching through 2.5 feet high snow banks.
I don't want to go back to school and teach tomorrow. I just want to sort out my stupid house.
and,....yeah....well, you asked! :)
and thank you for that.
I'm sure there's more, but I forgot it for now.
--Neighbor Lady
NL, we are the opposite on attachment to stuff...well, some stuff. He just refuses (in my view) to go through crap. I probably keep things he thinks are ridiculous. But, you're right, the mismatch is tricky. I am waiting/stressing on word from the Powers That Be regarding a possible move. So instead of doing anything productive re: cleaning out crap, I'm just avoiding it. Ugh.
W: I think I mentioned above that I'm preaching at Mr E's church this week. I attempted to take a nap and had a ridiculously stressful sermon anxiety dream. So add me to the not-sleeping-well crowd.
AW: The dream motivated me to get to work already.
Sorry about all the insomnia this week! Yikes!
further whine: no caravan around town, because...it is not the battery. Charged it, and nothing.
So, I guess Neighbor Boy is off the hook for leaving his reading light on (though he did.
But, yeah....something more expensive than the battery.
Now waiting for AAA.
AW?: the library has a nice fluffy book on hold for me. I may scoot over and get it before the tow truck arrives....
Neighbor Lady
NL, don't give up hope! Sometimes a really dead battery just won't charge.
NL! A parade of horribles! Dead car; the ceiling thing -- that would be plenty without the "we're moving, let's sort" thing. Not to mention "we're bored."
xoxo
(((NL))) That's a lot of horrible. So many hugs!
esperanza, sorry about the sermon anxiety dreams. Been there...
Thanks, Sue. This one was kinda funny: I started to read the Scripture passage, but then lost the Bible. There was not another one to be found in the entire church. Someone kept handing me a Bible Dictionary, and I was panicked because I couldn't find the passage in it. A *different* passage than the one I'm actually preaching on.
There must be something in the collective water, because I'm not sleeping well, either. I think it's mainly because I am a night owl, and the wee hours are the times when I am most productive, but is not conducive to actually getting up in the morning and you know, FUNCTIONING.
Still bummed that I didn't get the job, but over most of the blahs about it. I just shudder to think how screwed we are going to be on the taxes this year. I totally didn't think about the fact that Offspring got about $37K worth of scholarships and grants that the gubmint considers "extra income." Am really hoping this doesn't launch our finances into the stratosphere, but am not really hopeful.
I have all of the stuff to make Offspring a quilt in her school colors and have had them for several months, but have not been in the "zone" to start it. I need to make that a priority as soon as she heads back for spring term.
Offspring got hit by a rock on this drive home, and now has a crack in her windshield. We so don't have the money to replace her windshield, but her boyfriend thinks he can repair it with a DIY kit from an auto store. I hope to God that he can, because it is just one more thing right now.
I am so with everyone else on the barfing while having teeth impressions done. Every time.
Hope MM feels better with the braces today.
QWP, it is different when it's your child. You can't "get away" from them because they are in your care, but also, it's frustrating for you on top of the not sleeping well. Do you know any high schoolers? I know that kids in our area have to do about 20 hours of community service to graduate -- maybe you could get one to watch the little ones so you can nap or run errands? That way, it's not a money issue, and you still get some down time....At any rate, both her tantrums and your frustration are very normal. I think every parent goes through it.
NL, when you find those magical fairies who repair the holes in the ceiling, send them my way when they're done at your place. I still have holes in my interior ceiling from: water damage due to rain; tree damage from a hurricane; and from firemen, who hacked holes in the wall/ceiling when my husband set our bathroom on fire. Yeah, long story.
Despite the laundry list of complaints, I'm actually feeling a little better lately. A little more hopeful, and a little less overwhelmed.
Now, if I can just get motivated enough to a) exercise, b) clean my house, and c) get rid of a bunch of junk that's cluttering every room of my house.
Yeah, like that will happen!
Now, KLee, let's not get too ambitious there! You'll make the rest of us look bad!
Glad you're feeling better. On the tax thing...please don't take this as advice, because I'm dumber than your average rock when it comes to taxes, but would it help if you no longer claimed her as a dependent? I dunno.
...and now I wonder if/how that might affect her scholarships. Like I said, no tax genius here.
esperanza! I think you were right! We had a tow truck come and it was a huge flat bed and couldn't maneuver with all the snow. So, they sent a regular kind of tow truck, and the guy tried with his special battery pack, and it worked!!! Saved us $$$ that the car place would have charged to diagnose the problem...
Just goes to show.....whining helps!! (when it's us, I mean, not the kiddos!) :)
Thanks for the support!
--Neighbor Lady
...And that's how I learned that you guys get taxes on scholarship money. We get a tax form for it, but there's a tax exemption if you're a full-time student, and also you get a load of tax credits (some of Erich can be transferred to a parent, grandparent, or spouse) for being a student. So, it's really different there? You straight-up pay taxes on your daughter's scholarship money?
I'm starting to figure out the childcare thing. Mr. Q raced home as soon as school was out, and took over here. He said that he can help out a lot more this semester, because his teaching load is really light (he's also doing some IT work there, which is busy, but obviously requires no prep or marking). My mom said she can take E off my hands for a day this week, so now I have to figure out whether I want that day to be tomorrow or Friday. (The tired part of me wants it to be tomorrow, but E was exhausted at bedtime, and had the worst tantrum of her life, and so I'd really like her to try to nap at home tomorrow.)
NL: as was already said, it might still be the battery! But it might need to be replaced. Right before we got our new battery, it was dying if the temperature dropped even barely below freezing (a healthy car battery should start without a the assistance of a block heater above -20C/-4F), and it charging didn't help. It had to be boosted to start.
Taxed on, not taxes on.
And which, not Erich. My autocorrect is full of German names!
oh, yeah, I would still replace the battery, just because I hate to be stranded. Fun fact: our hot weather in the summer is actually harder on batteries than y'all's cold winters. Ours rarely last more than 3-4 years, and mine have always died in the summer.
QWP, yay for getting some relief on the all-mama-all-the-time!
Wow, what a week.
Yay, NL!
KLee, it would be worth it (I think) to find a nice accountant about the tax stuff. To get real advice.
Kathy is right: talk with an accountant! I was bored and read a bit of the IRS website, and it looks like scholarships and grants are tax-free there, but it would be good to talk with a professional about this!
Esperanza: I would very much believe that your hot weather isn't great for batteries! Would you believe that our last battery lasted for ten years?
Yes. Agreed on the accountant. It was my understanding that scholarships don't count as income, because they're pass through money. But do please get that checked
It looks like scholarships are tax-free, but amounts going for room/board may be taxable. BUT ALSO, even if part is taxable, that should be income for the student, not the parent. Students generally don't rake in enough to owe anything, but they might have to file an EZ form. All worth checking with somebody who knows this.
The financial aid office might have guidance, too.
Old Skool: there is something smelly in my car. I can't find it. The possibilities are endless.
Oh, and an AW: our little town is getting curbside recycling! I can't wait! I've been taking our stuff to a town an hour away (along with other errands, naturally) for SIX years.
Curbside recycling! The best!
And I understand the phantom smells. Especially the car phantom smells.
W: what is with the sleep this week? I wonder myself up at 3:30 (I think I was sleeping with my mouth open and inhaled something: I woke myself coughing). I only slept a little after that. E went to sleep quickly last night (after a horrible tantrum through her bedtime routine), but she was making periodic peeps and squeaks from 4:30 until she woke up at 6.
Yay NL!!! it's nice when whining wisdom wins the day.
Curbside recycling is awesome.
QWP, I'm so glad you have some "me" time coming up.
KLee - the tax stuff sounds complicated, so I wont' try to add anything more to the good pixie advice already offered.
I did manage to sleep a bit last night. Took me awhile to settle in, but I actually slept well until the alarm went off. Ugh.
AW: *parade floats, steamers* My child is napping! I repeat: she is napping! Victory in our time. (She was pretty tired this morning, and went down for a nap more than half an hour early.)
Yay for naps!!!!
Old Skool: I decided to nap as well, and just dropped off to sleep, when the phone rang and woke me up. Now I can't sleep anymore! (Maybe it's for the best: I usually nap for too long, and end up being a zombie for the rest of the day. But still!)
That happens to me all the time. So aggravating.
So, turns out we did have to replace the battery (you pixies are so smart!!!), because it wouldn't hold a charge--though it did manage to get to the car place on its own this morning (no towing). Also, while doing minor maintenance they also found a $$$$ issue with something called the "bushings" . But, I don't know what they are, and they say it is not a safety issue, so....they will wait.
Sigh.
Have been grumpy and down all week. Good thing its almost Friday.
--Neighbor Lady
I know batteries, but I don't know bushings. I also know that *of course* they found something $$$$.
The Wikipedia entry on bushings: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bushing_%28isolator%29
I'm struggling with the unbloggable heaviness of small minded, judge mental family members.
((Miranda))
(((Miranda)))
((( Miranda ))) Judgy and mental = not a good combo.
(((Miranda))) So sorry.
(((Miranda)))
(((miranda)))
--Neighbor Lady
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