I just saw KLee's whine at the end of the last thread, and have to offer hugs. That's so heartbreaking.
My own whine is Old Skool: I very much want to shower, and right now is the only time today when I can (the midpoint of E's nap). However, I am expected a delivery from a company that is notoriously annoying if you miss the delivery, and the tracking information has said "out for delivery" since 7am. And it's a package for a friend (she works long hours and asked if she could have something shipped here instead of to her house), and so I don't feel like I can say "Who cares? I can always get it another day."
But boy, do I feel like a shower would feel good. Maybe I'll go and scrub my face, and soak my hair, so that at least it's not standing on end.
Murphy's Law of Package Delivery: because I skipped showering, for fear of missing the delivery, the guy didn't get here until 5pm, arriving exactly when Mr. Q got home. I didn't actually have to sign for it. I'm convinced that, if I had decided to shower, the guy would have shown up at 2:15. That's how waiting for things works, right?
Sue, that trip to Scotland sounds so exciting! And that sounds like such a nice birthday for FIL.
W: Mr. Q coughed so loudly at 4:20am that he scared E awake, even though she was in a different room. She went back to sleep immediately, but was awake for good an hour later.
AW: well, at least I had time to shower before Mr. Q left for work. (And OF COURSE she's cheerful and energetic, while her parents are zombies.)
Joining QWP on the crappy sleep whine. I was awakened approximately every 15 minutes from 4:15 till 5:45, when Mini was up for good. It was a combination of our wacky phone, which rings with no one there under certain weather conditions; and our wacky Baboos, popping up with such questions as "why do we have to sleep, Mommy?"
Oh, an AW too: Sweet's report card said, "She is coming out of her shell more and more. She is a delight to teach." Not such a delight? Her behavior at home. Not a shred of patience in that one.
Esperanza: I don't know if this helps at all, but friends who teach elementary school tell me that it's a good sign of stable home life, when a kid is on good behaviour at school, but melts down sometimes at home. She knows home is a safe place for her to work out her feelings. I'm glad to hear that she's coming out of her shell at school, and I hope she settles down at home soon.
AW: I'm ignoring the unfolded laundry, and we're having leftovers for supper. I'm spending E's naptime lying on the couch, drinking tea, and listening to Joni Mitchell. There are days where I can tell that, if I try to nap, I'm going to feel worse, but at least I can relax. (Esperanza, I hope you have a time for rest today. The Baboos and E were in cahoots again today, hey?)
AW: the sump is fixed. Those of you who are on the book of faces can read my husband's description of what happened and why.
W: It took all day to fix.
AW: We did it ourselves, it cost less than $150 in total, and my husband's spidey sense caught on to the problem before any damage was done to our basement.
W: I am exhaustipated and I still need to make dinner.
W: I forgot to take the sausage out of the freezer for the spaghetti sauce and its all the way downstairs in the basement . I spent the whole day down in the basement. I don't wanna go back down to the basement!! (Items in italics are to be read in a three-year-old's whiny voice ala "I'm not tired! I don't want to go to bed!"
QWP, that helps my brain, but not my emotions. She treats me worse than she does any other person on the planet. I would like to require just a teensy bit of respect. Like please don't scream at me for making your breakfast.
But I did get a nap after they went to school, so there's that.
I am in awe of your sump pump repair, Liz. I think we'll have leftovers--I'll send them your way, because a sump pump repairwoman should not have to also cook supper. It's a rule.
Liz, you're amazing! And I hope you insisted on pizza delivery, because. Just because.
Yay, Sweet, on the report card! Know it is little consolation in the moment, but it's true that the littles can be totally different at school than at home, but it's because home is so safe.
I made an excellent hamburger mix yesterday, and everyone feasted well, with many condiments. And the leftover uncooked patties are becoming meatballs, because apparently tonight is spaghetti night in several locations.
* the hamburger mix was a little more like meat loaf -- onions, spices, some ground pork, and an egg and breadcrumbs to hold the darned things together.
W: I have been getting fireplacing-loads of calls from unknown numbers on my home phone, and they never leave messages. And that started recently on my cell phone, too -- mostly from a local area code, and when I try calling back, it is a junk number. Today, I missed one on my cell phone from an odd area code. It was a BILL COLLECTOR looking for my SIL. (Who, as you might recall, is severely mentally handicapped and in care.) I said it was a wrong number.
And I can kinda figure out how they got my unlisted cell number, since all her mail comes to my house, and her name is (my first name) plus (husband's last name). But I really hate this. Very.Much.
Kathy, that is completely terrible. (We had bull collectors hound us for someone who had Mr. Q's same first and last name, but no other same information, and that was annoying enough. When you add in all of SIL's circumstances, it's awful.)
Esperanza, I'm sending you so many hugs. I really hope Sweet and Mini follow through on their promise to treat you like a human in the morning.
Liz, I second the argument that you deserve not to have to cook supper after all that! Well done, repairing your sump pump!
Happy to report that my credit is completely awesome, although one mortgage company also listed me as (my name and middle initial) + (husband's last name). The bill collectors do not actually care that SIL and I are different people, though.
AW: the temperature warmed up enough that it was safe/pleasant for E to play outside in the snow! We've been trapped inside with horrible weather, and the cold weather snap is finally over.
AW/W: the temperature is supposed to go a little above freezing during the day, a few days from now. That is both great and terrible news (with this much snow, sudden melting and refreezing means ice everywhere, and when it's wet and just above freezing, you need to keep everything really waterproof, because it's incredibly easy for little guys to get hypothermia in those conditions). But (relative) warmth and sun!
(((Esperanza))) I think you have a right to tell sweet she needs to treat you with respect. if she's screaming at you about making breakfast, then she can eat a granola bar and be grateful
Liz, you were the duplicating comment queen there for a minute. I deleted the extras, but not sure why they did that.
And it's not just the breakfast, it's a multitude of meltdowns over some things that really don't matter at all. There are some correlations: hungry, tired, constipated. But no matter how much of those three you are, you just can't treat me the way she has been. After school today, she was perfect--happy with me, with her sister, with everything. It is a mystery, but not a very enjoyable one. But thanks for the hugs. They help.
Agree that it is totally OK -- preferred! -- to tell a meltdown person that THIS is NOT OK. That you know she can do better, and it is important to be respectful. xoxo
Breakfast was better...the rest of the getting ready process not so much. She did apologize, after prompting. So maybe we're making progress.
Desperately hoping tomorrow morning will be better yet, as I leave immediately from dropping her off at school to kick butts and take names at a meeting. Not really. But people--we cannot spend money that we don't have and don't expect to get.
Hooray for fixing computers, Liz. You are the Fix It Queen with a side of spaghetti this week!
W: fireplacing sinuses. They're still on High Alert, post-flu. I ground some pepper, to make a bunch of barbecue rub, and got a bit up my nose. My sinuses went "INTRUDER ALERT," and now they're swollen. I took my antihistamine/decongestant, and had a lot of hot tea, and took a hot shower, and used my neti pot. Still swollen and ouchie. This had better not trigger sinusitis (especially because I'm allergic to corticosteroid nose sprays, and so unless I get a bacterial infection, there's little that can be done for a sinusitis flare-up).
Oh, somebody can do a LOT better than that for style!
QWP, this sounds stupid-looking, but if you're that sensitive to things like pepper, what about a disposable mask for the kitchen tasks that might cause a flare? You can pretend you're a star on Grey's Anatomy, or something.
And what about a non-steroid nasal spray, like Afr1n? That takes down interior swelling and gunkiness for me.
Kathy a: this has never happened with a non-allergen before! Usually, it's just an issue if I'm around perfume or cats. I suspect that my sinuses are just hyper-sensitive right now, because I'm healing from that awful flu.
I took a powerful anti-inflammatory now, so hopefully that'll kick this out of my system. (I looked up the med you recommended, since we don't have that brand in Canada, and I've always been nervous about taking too much of the equivalent we have here: I keep hearing too much about rebound congestion! I'm pretty hesitant about taking it for a chronic issue.)
Q, I don't use the spray all that often -- using it constantly is a problem. But it really gets one past the icky time. Never travel without it, because who knows what might set something off? It's just my backup, for clearing things up some.
Sweet's pulmonologist would tell us only to use it for 3 days, then we would have to wait 2 weeks to use it again. That avoided the rebound problem.
W: I made terrible pizza for supper. The dough didn't rise--I suspect the water was too hot. Then I overcooked the crust before putting the good stuff on it, so when I put the pizza back in the oven, I had to take it out before the good stuff was really ready, in order to avoid burning the crust. Wah.
I made a minor purchase at a convenience store with my debit card, and the clerk pronounced "it's denied," and turned to the next customer. Of course it went through the second time. Took my time bagging, and told her calmly that next time, maybe she could just say "it didn't go through" instead of "denied." She looked a little mortified and said OK.
My brain may be staging a minor rebellion this week. Saturday, I woke up feeling extremely hung over, which was distressing since I hadn't had any alcohol. Little did I realize that the automated processes section of my nervous system had activated "full system cleanse" and approved vacation time for the entire digestive tract until further notice. Not content with simply depriving me of any sort of nutritional content, this same rogue brain of mine has instructed the good workers of my excretory system to put in several overtime shifts on thirds, leaving me to wake up every two hours to spend around 20 minutes on the toilet. This situation is becoming untenable, so I must issue an ultimatum:
Look, Brain, I tolerate a lot of nonsense from you already: making me think of funny jokes in the middle of church so I have to attempt to resist laughing, getting obnoxious songs stuck in my head so I have to resist dancing around like a fool at work, but this is the last straw. I require food and sleep, and if I don't get it, I'm replacing my newfound hobby of playing a few games of chess every night with a Duck Dynasty marathon while shooting moonshine until you're bludgeoned into submission. You have two days.
I have SO MANY whines. Here's a starter: I will let my wasband, who showed up here unexpectedly from two time zones away, deal with the comatose and soon to be late Teens because I need to sign into work in ten minutes. Its from home but I wish I had gone to my office instead.
I'm frustrated with chunky business. I'm the chair of the building and $ committee which I clearly agreed to in a moment of total insanity. We don't have a custodian or other building maintenance person on staff so the office clerk has taken that job on. She is a member on also on the committee. There has been ongoing conflict about this because Bylaws! But to be honest, people aren't aroynd to handle contractors and the like. And the clerk can be be abrasive at times.
She asked for a change in her position description and her term expires this May. I'm annoyed at the number of people who have expressed shock at the office clerk doing all this stuff. (Do I smell sexism? Yes, I do) despite it all happening under their noses and now they want to be outraged and I'm dealing with it. I feel strongly that taking a measured approach is the right thing but, oh the flack I'm deflecting.
And I've managed to piss off my lovely minister. And I have to deal with executive council next week. Basically no one but me and one other committee member is happy. Maybe the business manager too. But I'm a big believer in our model of governance and the big questions of how to adapt our bylaws to our reality has not really been explored. I'm doing it. Using the method taught to me by one of those upset with me.
i have a day job, people. Which is another set of problems. And family members with mental illnesses. And an apparently unresonable desire to maintain my own fragile sanity.
He called last Friday to say he might come. He called Saturday to see he was probably coming Tuesday but maybe Mobday. He called Monday while we were on the train asking me how to get in my house. So my friend let him in and he was there before Newly Teen Son and I even left Illinois. There is a reason we are not together.
You got it, Kathy a. Our clerk is "just a housewife" who has done a lot of creative things to cut the maintenance budget by tens of tousands of dollars every year. Most of the. Senior positions are held by women right now. Good times with some of the men folk.
Boy, the Wasband is getting some kind of prize including major cluesticks. Sheesh. Showing up while you're OUT OF TOWN.
Anonymous, sounds like the clerk is very effective at her second job. It's good to recognize someone who is doing a good job. If they plan to find someone else to do that part of the work, [a] has she done anything fireable? [b] it is bad for morale when a capable woman has to train somebody new, who comes to the job with more official respect.
If there are issues with how she interacts with others (you mentioned abrasiveness), usually employess are just counseled about things like that. (Although -- the conduct that rubs some the wrong way could potentially be fine if a man acted that way. For some reason, guys are allowed to be direct and assertive, and women are supposed to get the job done while being pleasing as pie.) I could be missing the point here.
The issue, beyond just the clerk being a woman, is that the bylaws state that a lay committee is charged with building maintenance. This lay committee has gone from the extreme of "no one goes near the church - not even the minister- without my approval" since only three people had keys to get in to "let's wait for The Dudes to have time to deal with various contractors" which they rarely did to the current set up of the lay committee being concerned they aren't consulted and one member not liking the clerk. Both their terms are up this year and I've asked that both get nominated elsewhere there is no way an official job change will happen without resolving the role of the lay subcommittee that is in the bylaws. Personally, I'm going to try and get the bylaws changed. But that requires careful engagement with the members. The first time this went to a vote it was BAD. So I'm breaking it down in smaller chunks. The clerk laughed when I called her earlier about the meeting. Progress?
I think between the chunky politics, and the Wasband nonsense, the posse has some work to do.
Andy, I hope you're improving, and able to get some nutrition and sleep!
Classic Toddler Whine: bathroom time really isn't as private as it used to be. This morning, E had been complaining about gas, and so I showed her how we used to bicycle her legs to get the gas out. Well, a few minutes later, guys what toddler barged into the bathroom, proclaiming that she was there to help me?! (She seriously tried to bicycle my legs.)
AW: mild weather, and the forecast says it's staying for the foreseeable future! Everything in my life is so much easier when it isn't -40 outside.
There is a protest at a train station my daughter uses to get to work. She is taking an alternate route. To get to work on time, she needed to leave 5 minutes ago. She just got in the shower.
She left 40 minutes after she should have. Not sure if it would have made all that much difference, since 3 downtown stations are closed now, and everybody's commutes have gone all to heck.
I'm sympathetic to the problem of unarmed people of color getting shot up disproportionately. Just don't quite get how tangling up people's lives is supposed to result in positive change. What am I missing?
Feeling completely better, and on my second day of normal sleep and digestion. I credit the stern talking to that I gave my brain.
But, like gray hairs, when you remove one whine, two more pop up in its place. One not-so-serious: on the way to work today, my right eye started hurting quite severely. "Mamma mia!" I cried as I turned the car toward home to get my glasses and remove my contacts.
But, upon entering my bathroom, I found that my right contact was nowhere to be found! "Quite puzzling," I mused, as I jabbed my eyeball repeatedly searching for the contact, as my right eyeball insisted that there was something of significant size out of place and disturbing it greatly.
Alas, I never found the contact, either in my eye or in my car, so I donned my glasses and drove in to work one-eyed. Upon reaching work, I chased down one of my subordinates and instructed her to examine my right eye for anything untoward (a task listed in her job description as "Other duties as assigned"). She found nothing, but did concur with my eye's opinion that something was definitely wrong with it.
So I go to my office and begin massaging my eyelids and not blinking, as blinking unleashes painful horrors, when fortune finally cast its gaze upon me and I discovered the obstruction: half my contact lens! My eyelids had apparently ripped it in half during a particularly forceful blink, and the torn halves were stuck to the inside of my eyelids and effectively shaving my eyeball every time I blinked. Finding the second half took another 20 minutes and greatly entertained my coworkers during the meeting. But, once the other half was removed, my eye began to feel considerably better.
Whine #2: My pastor is leaving our church. This is completely out of the blue. I am in this church because of this pastor, and considering it is a Southern Baptist Church and I am, well, me, you can surmise exactly how good he actually is. I really don't have a way to make this one funny.
Good luck dealing with chunky stuff, Anon. Time for Ex-Wife stories! So, my ex's MO was that she would get really excited about things and volunteer and get super involved and commit to everything, and then flake out on all of it and stop doing everything. While dragging me along for the ride.
So for a while I was sitting in on the Leadership team at church while occasionally picking up the slack when Kelli flaked out. And very soon it occurred to me that as a state employee, I spent enough time at work dealing with byzantine rules and bureaucracy and didn't care to add that as a hobby. So I stopped. Which led to issues that I didn't so much care about, because that's the essence of stopping.
And to come full circle with ex issues: Miranda, for a while mine was hiding in my garage with all of her stuff that's still there because she didn't want to admit to her mom she was skipping class. She's 40, mind you.
Oh, Andy, I have had something similar to your Evil Contact story. I used to wear gas permeable ones--so they were hard and kept their shape. It somehow flipped so the concave part (I think I have that word right) was toward my eyelid instead of toward my eye. It suctioned itself onto the inside of my eyelid and was close to impossible to remove. And it hurt hurt hurt. I feel ya. Glad you got both halves out.
And hugs on whine #2. There are some good ones, and it's so hard to say goodbye.
Andy, so glad the shards of contact were found and removed! Go, Team! (I personally have never tried contacts, because this would definitely happen.)
That really sucks about your pastor leaving. Will leave it to the better qualified to give better advice, but might the pastor have suggestions of places you might feel welcome?
Wait, wait! Am I reading this right? The ex camped in the garage, and left her crap there -- like, still? -- because she did not want to tell mommy the marriage was over? Oy, even if I got a few details wrong.
Only on Tuesdays, Kathy. She had French on Tuesdays, and decided she was never going to go again because it was hard, but she couldn't drop the class because then she'd lose the financial aid, and she couldn't go back home yet because her mom knew she was supposed to be in class. So, she sat in my garage for a few hours every Tuesday and some Thursdays.
Andy, the words "shards of contacts" struck horror into my eyeballs. You know, every once in a while, I think, "maybe I should give contact lenses another shot." Nope nope nope.
Also, I had a weird day of digestion issues yesterday, but today I'm mostly better. Is this spreading via blog?
W: one of my sweet seniors, back on the Island, has been given 2-6 weeks to live. Fireplacing cancer. I can't really face it right now: both how much she's meant to us over the years, and how helpless we are, so far away. (And I feel like we've been so neglectful of them, since we moved back here and had a baby. They all took us in as family for seven years, and then we moved back home, and it's just been occasional phone calls, and one, short visit.)
Sorry about your pastor leaving Andy - that's so difficult. I don't even know what to say about the ex in the garage. As for the contacts, I've never worn them, so I can't even imagine...but, OUCH.
I have finally heard back from my application, and I may have an interview on Wednesday (waiting on confirmation).
Have been getting pointers from my inside sources as to what kind of buzzwords they are looking for, and it's all something I would routinely do anyway, so here's hoping!
Also learned that the pay is almost 10K more than I currently make, and I could use that money -- you all have no idea how much I could use that money!
If you are of a praying variety,of any type,please send up good wishes and thoughts for me.
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77 comments:
I just saw KLee's whine at the end of the last thread, and have to offer hugs. That's so heartbreaking.
My own whine is Old Skool: I very much want to shower, and right now is the only time today when I can (the midpoint of E's nap). However, I am expected a delivery from a company that is notoriously annoying if you miss the delivery, and the tracking information has said "out for delivery" since 7am. And it's a package for a friend (she works long hours and asked if she could have something shipped here instead of to her house), and so I don't feel like I can say "Who cares? I can always get it another day."
But boy, do I feel like a shower would feel good. Maybe I'll go and scrub my face, and soak my hair, so that at least it's not standing on end.
(((KLee))) So sorry -sending hugs.
QWP - that waiting for a package thing gets old really fast, doesn't it? I hope the face scrubbing helped.
AW: Booked my plane fare to Scotland. :)
W: My Christmas break/laziness from the gym caused me some major hurt when I worked out today. Ouchie sore muscles.
W: Sump pump is working overtime, and we aren't sure how to make sure it flows OUT.
Murphy's Law of Package Delivery: because I skipped showering, for fear of missing the delivery, the guy didn't get here until 5pm, arriving exactly when Mr. Q got home. I didn't actually have to sign for it. I'm convinced that, if I had decided to shower, the guy would have shown up at 2:15. That's how waiting for things works, right?
That's exactly how they work
AW: Lovely dinner for my FIL last night for his 85th birthday. Just family, nothing fancy, and just what he wanted.
KLee, so sorry about the kitteh.
QWP, definitely old skool, and a rule of life.
Yikes, Liz! If the pump is not going outside, where's it going?
Sue, yay Scotland! Happy birthday to FIL!
Sue, that trip to Scotland sounds so exciting! And that sounds like such a nice birthday for FIL.
W: Mr. Q coughed so loudly at 4:20am that he scared E awake, even though she was in a different room. She went back to sleep immediately, but was awake for good an hour later.
AW: well, at least I had time to shower before Mr. Q left for work. (And OF COURSE she's cheerful and energetic, while her parents are zombies.)
Joining QWP on the crappy sleep whine. I was awakened approximately every 15 minutes from 4:15 till 5:45, when Mini was up for good. It was a combination of our wacky phone, which rings with no one there under certain weather conditions; and our wacky Baboos, popping up with such questions as "why do we have to sleep, Mommy?"
Oh, an AW too: Sweet's report card said, "She is coming out of her shell more and more. She is a delight to teach." Not such a delight? Her behavior at home. Not a shred of patience in that one.
Esperanza: I don't know if this helps at all, but friends who teach elementary school tell me that it's a good sign of stable home life, when a kid is on good behaviour at school, but melts down sometimes at home. She knows home is a safe place for her to work out her feelings. I'm glad to hear that she's coming out of her shell at school, and I hope she settles down at home soon.
AW: I'm ignoring the unfolded laundry, and we're having leftovers for supper. I'm spending E's naptime lying on the couch, drinking tea, and listening to Joni Mitchell. There are days where I can tell that, if I try to nap, I'm going to feel worse, but at least I can relax. (Esperanza, I hope you have a time for rest today. The Baboos and E were in cahoots again today, hey?)
AW: the sump is fixed. Those of you who are on the book of faces can read my husband's description of what happened and why.
W: It took all day to fix.
AW: We did it ourselves, it cost less than $150 in total, and my husband's spidey sense caught on to the problem before any damage was done to our basement.
W: I am exhaustipated and I still need to make dinner.
W: I forgot to take the sausage out of the freezer for the spaghetti sauce and its all the way downstairs in the basement . I spent the whole day down in the basement. I don't wanna go back down to the basement!! (Items in italics are to be read in a three-year-old's whiny voice ala "I'm not tired! I don't want to go to bed!"
Glad the sump is fixed Liz. Yay for your resourcefulness!!
Sorry about all the sleep woes QWP & esperanza. Sleepy parents, not-so-sleepy little ones, coughing - not fun!!! :(
Yay Sweet for being a delight at school. How 'bout bringing a bit more delight home, hm?
QWP, that helps my brain, but not my emotions. She treats me worse than she does any other person on the planet. I would like to require just a teensy bit of respect. Like please don't scream at me for making your breakfast.
But I did get a nap after they went to school, so there's that.
I am in awe of your sump pump repair, Liz. I think we'll have leftovers--I'll send them your way, because a sump pump repairwoman should not have to also cook supper. It's a rule.
Liz, you're amazing! And I hope you insisted on pizza delivery, because. Just because.
Yay, Sweet, on the report card! Know it is little consolation in the moment, but it's true that the littles can be totally different at school than at home, but it's because home is so safe.
I made an excellent hamburger mix yesterday, and everyone feasted well, with many condiments. And the leftover uncooked patties are becoming meatballs, because apparently tonight is spaghetti night in several locations.
* the hamburger mix was a little more like meat loaf -- onions, spices, some ground pork, and an egg and breadcrumbs to hold the darned things together.
W: I have been getting fireplacing-loads of calls from unknown numbers on my home phone, and they never leave messages. And that started recently on my cell phone, too -- mostly from a local area code, and when I try calling back, it is a junk number. Today, I missed one on my cell phone from an odd area code. It was a BILL COLLECTOR looking for my SIL. (Who, as you might recall, is severely mentally handicapped and in care.) I said it was a wrong number.
And I can kinda figure out how they got my unlisted cell number, since all her mail comes to my house, and her name is (my first name) plus (husband's last name). But I really hate this. Very.Much.
Oh, kathy a, that stinks.
Baboos have agreed to treat me like a human being in the morning. We'll see how that works out.
Kathy, that is completely terrible. (We had bull collectors hound us for someone who had Mr. Q's same first and last name, but no other same information, and that was annoying enough. When you add in all of SIL's circumstances, it's awful.)
Esperanza, I'm sending you so many hugs. I really hope Sweet and Mini follow through on their promise to treat you like a human in the morning.
Liz, I second the argument that you deserve not to have to cook supper after all that! Well done, repairing your sump pump!
Happy to report that my credit is completely awesome, although one mortgage company also listed me as (my name and middle initial) + (husband's last name). The bill collectors do not actually care that SIL and I are different people, though.
AW: the temperature warmed up enough that it was safe/pleasant for E to play outside in the snow! We've been trapped inside with horrible weather, and the cold weather snap is finally over.
AW/W: the temperature is supposed to go a little above freezing during the day, a few days from now. That is both great and terrible news (with this much snow, sudden melting and refreezing means ice everywhere, and when it's wet and just above freezing, you need to keep everything really waterproof, because it's incredibly easy for little guys to get hypothermia in those conditions). But (relative) warmth and sun!
Thank you all. But I wanted spaghetti and, by gum, I was gonna make spaghetti. It turned out good, too.
(((Esperanza))) I think you have a right to tell sweet she needs to treat you with respect. if she's screaming at you about making breakfast, then she can eat a granola bar and be grateful
Liz, you were the duplicating comment queen there for a minute. I deleted the extras, but not sure why they did that.
And it's not just the breakfast, it's a multitude of meltdowns over some things that really don't matter at all. There are some correlations: hungry, tired, constipated. But no matter how much of those three you are, you just can't treat me the way she has been. After school today, she was perfect--happy with me, with her sister, with everything. It is a mystery, but not a very enjoyable one. But thanks for the hugs. They help.
Agree that it is totally OK -- preferred! -- to tell a meltdown person that THIS is NOT OK. That you know she can do better, and it is important to be respectful. xoxo
almost my exact words tonight at bedtime, kathy a.
Oh kathy, that's awful. I hope the calls stop - maybe the wrong number message from you will deter them.
Fingers crossed for a meltdown-free and respectful breakfast esperanza!
Now I want spaghetti... :)
Today's drama. My computer seems to have picked up something nasty while in PR. It's fixed now.
Boo on computer messies! Glad it is cleaned up now.
Breakfast was better...the rest of the getting ready process not so much. She did apologize, after prompting. So maybe we're making progress.
Desperately hoping tomorrow morning will be better yet, as I leave immediately from dropping her off at school to kick butts and take names at a meeting. Not really. But people--we cannot spend money that we don't have and don't expect to get.
Hooray for fixing computers, Liz. You are the Fix It Queen with a side of spaghetti this week!
The fixing of the sump pump, the computer, and the dinner were joint efforts by Mr. Spock and me. I'm glad I've got him on my team!
Well, you can be the Fix It Royal Couple, then. But the spaghetti was all you, right? You may wear the spaghetti crown.
On top of spaghetti, all covered with cheese,
I placed a tiara, and hoped no one sneezed.
The sump pump was working, the computer not so,
But with the tiara, we made everything go.
Kathy for style!
W: fireplacing sinuses. They're still on High Alert, post-flu. I ground some pepper, to make a bunch of barbecue rub, and got a bit up my nose. My sinuses went "INTRUDER ALERT," and now they're swollen. I took my antihistamine/decongestant, and had a lot of hot tea, and took a hot shower, and used my neti pot. Still swollen and ouchie. This had better not trigger sinusitis (especially because I'm allergic to corticosteroid nose sprays, and so unless I get a bacterial infection, there's little that can be done for a sinusitis flare-up).
All because of a little pepper!
YIKES, QWP!!
Kathy A for style, for sure.
The spaghetti sauce was all me, but MS did some chopping and squeezed the sweet Italian sausages out of their casings. Plus, he did the noodles.
Oh, somebody can do a LOT better than that for style!
QWP, this sounds stupid-looking, but if you're that sensitive to things like pepper, what about a disposable mask for the kitchen tasks that might cause a flare? You can pretend you're a star on Grey's Anatomy, or something.
And what about a non-steroid nasal spray, like Afr1n? That takes down interior swelling and gunkiness for me.
Kathy a: this has never happened with a non-allergen before! Usually, it's just an issue if I'm around perfume or cats. I suspect that my sinuses are just hyper-sensitive right now, because I'm healing from that awful flu.
I took a powerful anti-inflammatory now, so hopefully that'll kick this out of my system. (I looked up the med you recommended, since we don't have that brand in Canada, and I've always been nervous about taking too much of the equivalent we have here: I keep hearing too much about rebound congestion! I'm pretty hesitant about taking it for a chronic issue.)
Q, I don't use the spray all that often -- using it constantly is a problem. But it really gets one past the icky time. Never travel without it, because who knows what might set something off? It's just my backup, for clearing things up some.
Community college for all -- I support it. This is a great gateway, and a place for people to begin something new again. What do you think?
Sweet's pulmonologist would tell us only to use it for 3 days, then we would have to wait 2 weeks to use it again. That avoided the rebound problem.
W: I made terrible pizza for supper. The dough didn't rise--I suspect the water was too hot. Then I overcooked the crust before putting the good stuff on it, so when I put the pizza back in the oven, I had to take it out before the good stuff was really ready, in order to avoid burning the crust. Wah.
Microwaved pizza is kind of a bust, except maybe in this situation, Esperanza. No browning in the nuke!
oh, didn't think of that. But I can't abide teh soggy
I made a minor purchase at a convenience store with my debit card, and the clerk pronounced "it's denied," and turned to the next customer. Of course it went through the second time. Took my time bagging, and told her calmly that next time, maybe she could just say "it didn't go through" instead of "denied." She looked a little mortified and said OK.
kathy for style!!!
Wow - that's some reaction to pepper QWP!
W: No internet at the office since Tuesday afternoon. Boo.
My brain may be staging a minor rebellion this week. Saturday, I woke up feeling extremely hung over, which was distressing since I hadn't had any alcohol. Little did I realize that the automated processes section of my nervous system had activated "full system cleanse" and approved vacation time for the entire digestive tract until further notice. Not content with simply depriving me of any sort of nutritional content, this same rogue brain of mine has instructed the good workers of my excretory system to put in several overtime shifts on thirds, leaving me to wake up every two hours to spend around 20 minutes on the toilet. This situation is becoming untenable, so I must issue an ultimatum:
Look, Brain, I tolerate a lot of nonsense from you already: making me think of funny jokes in the middle of church so I have to attempt to resist laughing, getting obnoxious songs stuck in my head so I have to resist dancing around like a fool at work, but this is the last straw. I require food and sleep, and if I don't get it, I'm replacing my newfound hobby of playing a few games of chess every night with a Duck Dynasty marathon while shooting moonshine until you're bludgeoned into submission. You have two days.
Oh, ANDY! I'm trying to be sympathetic, and indeed I am, but -- let's just say that there is a high bar for Mullet this week. xoxo
And also, hope you feel better!
Andy, I am so sorry for what you're going through. Pardon me for asking tho, are you sure it's your brain? Because it sounds just like c-dif.
A post from when I had that nasty sucker: http://mysterymommy.blogspot.com/2009/05/am-still-sick.html
I have SO MANY whines. Here's a starter: I will let my wasband, who showed up here unexpectedly from two time zones away, deal with the comatose and soon to be late Teens because I need to sign into work in ten minutes. Its from home but I wish I had gone to my office instead.
Oh Miranda.
Andy, that sounds perfectly awful. I would also suggest ruling out c-dif.
(((Miranda)))
I'm frustrated with chunky business. I'm the chair of the building and $ committee which I clearly agreed to in a moment of total insanity. We don't have a custodian or other building maintenance person on staff so the office clerk has taken that job on. She is a member on also on the committee. There has been ongoing conflict about this because Bylaws! But to be honest, people aren't aroynd to handle contractors and the like. And the clerk can be be abrasive at times.
She asked for a change in her position description and her term expires this May. I'm annoyed at the number of people who have expressed shock at the office clerk doing all this stuff. (Do I smell sexism? Yes, I do) despite it all happening under their noses and now they want to be outraged and I'm dealing with it. I feel strongly that taking a measured approach is the right thing but, oh the flack I'm deflecting.
And I've managed to piss off my lovely minister. And I have to deal with executive council next week. Basically no one but me and one other committee member is happy. Maybe the business manager too. But I'm a big believer in our model of governance and the big questions of how to adapt our bylaws to our reality has not really been explored. I'm doing it. Using the method taught to me by one of those upset with me.
i have a day job, people. Which is another set of problems. And family members with mental illnesses. And an apparently unresonable desire to maintain my own fragile sanity.
#problemsididnthavegrowingupcatholic
Miranda, he did what? xoxo
Anonymous, sorry about the chunky business and hope it gets resolved. The whiff of sexism, is it because she is doing manly things in her second job?
He called last Friday to say he might come. He called Saturday to see he was probably coming Tuesday but maybe Mobday. He called Monday while we were on the train asking me how to get in my house. So my friend let him in and he was there before Newly Teen Son and I even left Illinois. There is a reason we are not together.
You got it, Kathy a. Our clerk is "just a housewife" who has done a lot of creative things to cut the maintenance budget by tens of tousands of dollars every year. Most of the. Senior positions are held by women right now. Good times with some of the men folk.
Boy, the Wasband is getting some kind of prize including major cluesticks. Sheesh. Showing up while you're OUT OF TOWN.
Anonymous, sounds like the clerk is very effective at her second job. It's good to recognize someone who is doing a good job. If they plan to find someone else to do that part of the work, [a] has she done anything fireable? [b] it is bad for morale when a capable woman has to train somebody new, who comes to the job with more official respect.
If there are issues with how she interacts with others (you mentioned abrasiveness), usually employess are just counseled about things like that. (Although -- the conduct that rubs some the wrong way could potentially be fine if a man acted that way. For some reason, guys are allowed to be direct and assertive, and women are supposed to get the job done while being pleasing as pie.) I could be missing the point here.
I call for a Major Cluesticking of the Wasband. sheesh.
Anonymous - Oh my, do I ever hear you on the chunky politics. So many hugs and support to you.
The issue, beyond just the clerk being a woman, is that the bylaws state that a lay committee is charged with building maintenance. This lay committee has gone from the extreme of "no one goes near the church - not even the minister- without my approval" since only three people had keys to get in to "let's wait for The Dudes to have time to deal with various contractors" which they rarely did to the current set up of the lay committee being concerned they aren't consulted and one member not liking the clerk. Both their terms are up this year and I've asked that both get nominated elsewhere there is no way an official job change will happen without resolving the role of the lay subcommittee that is in the bylaws. Personally, I'm going to try and get the bylaws changed. But that requires careful engagement with the members. The first time this went to a vote it was BAD. So I'm breaking it down in smaller chunks. The clerk laughed when I called her earlier about the meeting. Progress?
Not only chunky, but clunky.
big hugs, Anonymous. Chunky politics and bylaws and such, plus a dose of sexism = yuck.
I think between the chunky politics, and the Wasband nonsense, the posse has some work to do.
Andy, I hope you're improving, and able to get some nutrition and sleep!
Classic Toddler Whine: bathroom time really isn't as private as it used to be. This morning, E had been complaining about gas, and so I showed her how we used to bicycle her legs to get the gas out. Well, a few minutes later, guys what toddler barged into the bathroom, proclaiming that she was there to help me?! (She seriously tried to bicycle my legs.)
AW: mild weather, and the forecast says it's staying for the foreseeable future! Everything in my life is so much easier when it isn't -40 outside.
There is a protest at a train station my daughter uses to get to work. She is taking an alternate route. To get to work on time, she needed to leave 5 minutes ago. She just got in the shower.
She left 40 minutes after she should have. Not sure if it would have made all that much difference, since 3 downtown stations are closed now, and everybody's commutes have gone all to heck.
I'm sympathetic to the problem of unarmed people of color getting shot up disproportionately. Just don't quite get how tangling up people's lives is supposed to result in positive change. What am I missing?
Kathy, I hear your frustration.
Feeling completely better, and on my second day of normal sleep and digestion. I credit the stern talking to that I gave my brain.
But, like gray hairs, when you remove one whine, two more pop up in its place. One not-so-serious: on the way to work today, my right eye started hurting quite severely. "Mamma mia!" I cried as I turned the car toward home to get my glasses and remove my contacts.
But, upon entering my bathroom, I found that my right contact was nowhere to be found! "Quite puzzling," I mused, as I jabbed my eyeball repeatedly searching for the contact, as my right eyeball insisted that there was something of significant size out of place and disturbing it greatly.
Alas, I never found the contact, either in my eye or in my car, so I donned my glasses and drove in to work one-eyed. Upon reaching work, I chased down one of my subordinates and instructed her to examine my right eye for anything untoward (a task listed in her job description as "Other duties as assigned"). She found nothing, but did concur with my eye's opinion that something was definitely wrong with it.
So I go to my office and begin massaging my eyelids and not blinking, as blinking unleashes painful horrors, when fortune finally cast its gaze upon me and I discovered the obstruction: half my contact lens! My eyelids had apparently ripped it in half during a particularly forceful blink, and the torn halves were stuck to the inside of my eyelids and effectively shaving my eyeball every time I blinked. Finding the second half took another 20 minutes and greatly entertained my coworkers during the meeting. But, once the other half was removed, my eye began to feel considerably better.
Whine #2: My pastor is leaving our church. This is completely out of the blue. I am in this church because of this pastor, and considering it is a Southern Baptist Church and I am, well, me, you can surmise exactly how good he actually is. I really don't have a way to make this one funny.
Good luck dealing with chunky stuff, Anon. Time for Ex-Wife stories! So, my ex's MO was that she would get really excited about things and volunteer and get super involved and commit to everything, and then flake out on all of it and stop doing everything. While dragging me along for the ride.
So for a while I was sitting in on the Leadership team at church while occasionally picking up the slack when Kelli flaked out. And very soon it occurred to me that as a state employee, I spent enough time at work dealing with byzantine rules and bureaucracy and didn't care to add that as a hobby. So I stopped. Which led to issues that I didn't so much care about, because that's the essence of stopping.
And to come full circle with ex issues: Miranda, for a while mine was hiding in my garage with all of her stuff that's still there because she didn't want to admit to her mom she was skipping class. She's 40, mind you.
Oh, Andy, I have had something similar to your Evil Contact story. I used to wear gas permeable ones--so they were hard and kept their shape. It somehow flipped so the concave part (I think I have that word right) was toward my eyelid instead of toward my eye. It suctioned itself onto the inside of my eyelid and was close to impossible to remove. And it hurt hurt hurt. I feel ya. Glad you got both halves out.
And hugs on whine #2. There are some good ones, and it's so hard to say goodbye.
Andy, so glad the shards of contact were found and removed! Go, Team! (I personally have never tried contacts, because this would definitely happen.)
That really sucks about your pastor leaving. Will leave it to the better qualified to give better advice, but might the pastor have suggestions of places you might feel welcome?
Wait, wait! Am I reading this right? The ex camped in the garage, and left her crap there -- like, still? -- because she did not want to tell mommy the marriage was over? Oy, even if I got a few details wrong.
Only on Tuesdays, Kathy. She had French on Tuesdays, and decided she was never going to go again because it was hard, but she couldn't drop the class because then she'd lose the financial aid, and she couldn't go back home yet because her mom knew she was supposed to be in class. So, she sat in my garage for a few hours every Tuesday and some Thursdays.
That's just... still weird.
I don't know about awards; we'll see. But carry on!
Andy, the words "shards of contacts" struck horror into my eyeballs. You know, every once in a while, I think, "maybe I should give contact lenses another shot." Nope nope nope.
Also, I had a weird day of digestion issues yesterday, but today I'm mostly better. Is this spreading via blog?
W: one of my sweet seniors, back on the Island, has been given 2-6 weeks to live. Fireplacing cancer. I can't really face it right now: both how much she's meant to us over the years, and how helpless we are, so far away. (And I feel like we've been so neglectful of them, since we moved back here and had a baby. They all took us in as family for seven years, and then we moved back home, and it's just been occasional phone calls, and one, short visit.)
Sorry about your pastor leaving Andy - that's so difficult. I don't even know what to say about the ex in the garage. As for the contacts, I've never worn them, so I can't even imagine...but, OUCH.
((QWP))) Fireplacing cancer.
I have finally heard back from my application, and I may have an interview on Wednesday (waiting on confirmation).
Have been getting pointers from my inside sources as to what kind of buzzwords they are looking for, and it's all something I would routinely do anyway, so here's hoping!
Also learned that the pay is almost 10K more than I currently make, and I could use that money -- you all have no idea how much I could use that money!
If you are of a praying variety,of any type,please send up good wishes and thoughts for me.
oh, KLee!! Yes, praying for this new thing!!
QWP, fireplacing cancer. I'm so sorry. Send her all those good thoughts right now. xoxo
KLee, everything crossed for this to go well!
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